Qui Gon's Heirs
by Wuff
Summary: QuiGon does not die in Episode I. He takes Anakin as his Padawan. From there on, little changes occur. But sometimes the little things can make the big difference. Will be a Vader redemption fic, starring Anakin, ObiWan, QuiGon and little Luke later.
1. The First Chapter

**Author's Note:** Hello everyone! This is my first fanfic ever. I'm currently editing parts of it, mostly spelling and grammar. You should know that English isn't my first language, so please forgive any mistakes. (That's why I'm editing it. I hope to think that my English has become a bit better while writing fanfiction.)

**Summary:** This story is an AU starting at the end of Episode I. It moves on through Episode II and III and ends in the time between III and IV. I can't tell you what exactly I have altered because that would give away too much of the plot. I'm just going to tell you this:

Qui-Gon does _not_ die in Episode I. How could this happen? Well, it's easy: Darth Maul does never interfere in Episode I. So Qui-Gon takes Anakin as his Padawan and from there on things are slightly different. It is not an adventure story. That means: less podraces, less extended space battles, more emotions…

This is a story about Obi-Wan and Anakin and – as the title implies – Qui-Gon takes also part in it.

Supporting actors are (in the later chapters): little Luke (and a bit of Leia), Darth Sidious, Yoda, Beru.

Special (but little) appearance by: Mace Windu, Ferus Olin, Siri Tachi, Ki-Adi Mundi.

And Padmé. But she is a special case.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Star Wars. Everything recognisable belongs to George Lucas. I don't intend to make money with this story.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"Alright. Then I will train him myself. I will take Anakin Skywalker as my Padawan-Learner under my care."

Obi-Wan froze. Qui-Gon's words hit him like the blow of a laser-whip. He could not believe what he was hearing. How could Qui-Gon do this to him? For already more than ten years he had been training Obi-Wan. And now he was just shoving him aside. Because of some stray boy, who, by coincidence, had more Midi-Chlorians than Obi-Wan.

_I am not good enough for him, it seems_.

"One student you already have, Qui-Gon," Yoda objected kindly. "Impossible to take a second one."

"We forbid it," Mace Windu said darkly.

"Obi-Wan is ready," Qui-Gon explained.

_Oh, suddenly I am? That's a bit of a surprise._

"I am!" Obi-Wan agreed heatedly. "I am ready to face the trials!"

"Ready you are so early? What do you know about being ready?" Yoda reprimanded gently.

Of course Obi-Wan knew that he was not ready at all, but at the moment that did not matter to him. He did not want to show Qui-Gon his disappointment and bitterness about his decision. More than anything else he did not want to plead like a little child in order to be allowed to stay Qui-Gon's Padawan. And he was not even sure anymore if he wanted to, after all Qui-Gon had done to him. Challenging, he looked at his Master. With some simple words Qui-Gon had destroyed Obi-Wan's hopes. He had destroyed their years of friendship. _Friendship..._Or was it just hypocrisy? You did not just shove aside a close friendship as Qui-Gon had done it.

"Obi-Wan is headstrong and he still has much to learn about the living Force," Qui-Gon explained to the Council, "but he is an able man and there is hardly anything left he can learn from me."

_I see, I am an able man, but apparently not good enough for you. Not the perfect Padawan. Not the **Chosen One**. _

"We ourselves decide on who is ready, Qui-Gon. More to learn he has," Yoda insisted.

Obi-Wan was more and more fed up with hearing again and again how much he still had to learn. It was alright if it was Qui-Gon who said it to him. In private. But here, in front of the whole Jedi Council…

"I would like to take the trials," he said and forced his voice to sound calm. "If I fail, it is the proof that I am not ready."

"Hmm… something true in your words is, Obi-Wan." Yoda exchanged a glance with Mace Windu. The latter nodded.

"We will discuss this as well as young Skywalker's destiny. Until we will have come to a decision, he is allowed to stay here in the temple."

"I will look after him," Qui-Gon said.

"So be it. May the force be with you."

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan answered the salute and bowed. The boy imitated them. Silently Obi-Wan followed his Master out of the Council Chambers. Anakin went alongside Qui-Gon and talked non-stop. Obi-Wan did not listen.

It was another shock to Obi-Wan to learn that Anakin was to move into his and Qui-Gon's apartment. Qui-Gon let the boy sleep in his bed and took the couch, which was much too small for the tall man. Obi-Wan could have offered his bed to Anakin, but he did not do it. Usually Obi-Wan meditated inside their quarters but he knew exactly that he would not be able to find his inner peace as long as he was in one room together with Anakin. So he left as fast as possible for the Room of the Thousand Fountains. The relaxed atmosphere, the ripple of the water calmed his agitated thoughts. Temporarily.

Arriving back at their quarters, he saw Anakin, who had made himself comfortable in one of the cosy armchair. In _Obi-Wan's_ chair. So Anakin had already taken Obi-Wan's place in the truest sense of the word. Qui-Gon was nowhere to be seen.

"Get down there," Obi-Wan said harshly.

"What?" Anakin asked without turning towards Obi-Wan. He was focussing on a programme on Holo-Net. A live coverage of a pod-race.

"This is my chair," Obi-Wan said tensely.

"Oh, I see. Didn't know it." Anakin got up and looked around. "What about that one?" He indicated the second, bigger armchair. "Can I sit down there or is it Qui-Gon's?"

"Yes, that's Qui-Gon's." _Self-evidently_, Qui-Gon would allow Anakin to use his chair… "You can sit on the couch."

"Cool! That's bigger anyway!" Anakin let himself fall on the couch and sprawled himself luxuriously. "Damn, you Jedi are really lucky!" He grinned at Obi-Wan. "It's bloody comfy here, compared to Tatooine… Ey, wow, did you just see that, Obi-Wan? Cool, that's suicidal! Watch out, there's the repeti-" He stopped when Obi-Wan pressed hard on the remote control and switched off the live coverage. Anakin blinked slightly confused. "Why did you turn it off?"

"It is not proper for a Jedi to watch this sort of things."

"Is it?" The boy pulled a disappointed face. "That's stupid. And I never before had the chance to watch something like this and now here you have such a wizard unit and you don't even use it. Hey, wait, I'm not a Jedi yet, am I? Then I could watch it, couldn't I?"

"If the Council learns about this, all your chances of ever becoming a Jedi have passed."

_Oh dear, Obi-Wan, now you already need to tell lies to a little boy in order to intimidate him_, a small voice piped up from the back of his head.

"The Council don't need to learn about this," Anakin pleaded.

"But I will tell them," Obi-Wan contradicted derisively, "and they will not be very pleased with your addiction to pod-races." _And a squealer you are as well._

Anakin looked at him, shocked. "Please don't tell them, because… because then they'll never allow me to become a Jedi."

"It would be much better that way," Obi-Wan said coldly.

"You won't do this, will you?! Obi-Wan, please!" Anakin begged.

That moment Qui-Gon entered the room. Immediately Anakin jumped up from the couch and ran to him. "Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan wants to tell the Council that I've watched pod-races! Please tell him that he mustn't do this!" Qui-Gon looked bewildered from Anakin to Obi-Wan and back. "I'm really sorry," Anakin sobbed, "but I didn't know. If I'd known, I'd never have done it…"

Qui-Gon kneeled down in front of Anakin and hugged the boy. "Done what? Known what? Ani, I don't understand a word." Obi-Wan stiffened. That all turned out terribly wrong.

"Watched the pod-race! I didn't know that Jedi aren't allowed to watch something like that," Anakin whimpered.

"Who, in the galaxy, told you that?" Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes briefly.

"Obi-Wan," Anakin answered, "and I'm really, truly sorry, but please, Qui-Gon, he mustn't tell the Council! I don't know where else to go if they don't want me here…"

Qui-Gon frowned. "Obi-Wan told you that Jedi mustn't watch pod-races?"

Anakin nodded, his eyes full of tears. Obi-Wan shrank down under the look with which Qui-Gon measured him. He felt very stupid and it was like being a thirteen-year-old Padawan again. Qui-Gon turned back to Anakin.

"Then Obi-Wan told you some rubbish. There's a bunch of weird Jedi rules but one which forbids pod-races doesn't exist yet."

"But then…"

"Don't worry, Ani, you don't have to fear any consequences from the Council because of this. The only Jedi who is against pod-races is Obi-Wan. Probably because he has such a fear of flying. Such manoeuvres as are flown in pod-races make him nauseous." Qui-Gon grinned encouragingly at Anakin.

"Really?" Anakin grinned back.

Furiously, Obi-Wan bit his lower lip. Now Qui-Gon even exposed him in front of a nine-year-old boy!

"But, naturally, fear of flying is not a reason to tell such lies," Qui-Gon continued. His voice became harder when he proceeded. "Telling lies is what the Jedi Code forbids."

"I am sorry, Master," Obi-Wan forced out ashamedly.

"I am not the one to whom you must apologize," Qui-Gon retorted strictly.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath. Why did Qui-Gon ask this of him? Why did he debase him like this? "Sorry." Obi-Wan nodded curtly in Anakin's direction.

Qui-Gon waited a little but when Obi-Wan did not say more, he rose to speak again.

"I have just seen the Council. They have decided that you may take the trials, Obi-Wan. Now, however, I wonder if you are really ready to do it. If you have the required maturity."

Obi-Wan pressed his lips together. His heart contracted painfully. These words hurt more than anything. Qui-Gon was disappointed of him. He doubted him. _And he is probably right_, the little voice from the back of his head chimed in again. The way he had acted towards Anakin today was certainly not worthy of a Jedi Knight. He had let his emotions, his jealousy manipulate him and he had been very unfair. It was hardly Anakin's fault. If Obi-Wan was to be mad at someone, then at Qui-Gon, at the most. But if he apologised to Anakin now (the earlier apology did not count, of course) Qui-Gon would not believe him anyway.

"The trials will take place in five days. You are to notify to the Council at sunset," Qui-Gon explained soberly.

Obi-Wan could do nothing but nod as an answer. Sadly, he stood up and went into his sleeping room. The last thing he heard was Anakin asking quietly, "And what about me?" and Qui-Gon answering, "The Council has granted me permission to train you if Obi-Wan passes his trials." Then Obi-Wan closed the door behind him and went to bed. His bed. For more than ten years now. And soon it would be Anakin's. For a tiny moment he seriously considered purposely failing the trials but he abandoned this thought quickly. You could not deceive the Jedi Council. Uneasily, he tossed and turned in bed. Qui-Gon and Anakin had turned on the pod-race-transmission again. Obi-Wan could hear the muffled voice of the commentator next door. He could not understand what Qui-Gon and Anakin were talking about; but their cheers about some suicidal flying manoeuvres pierced through his soul like toxic darts. Seldom had he lived to see Qui-Gon that frolicsome. A bitter thought sneaked into his mind. Had Qui-Gon been bored with him as his Padawan all those years? Did Qui-Gon need someone like Anakin with whom he could have fun?

The following days were one of the worst in Obi-Wan's life. He avoided Qui-Gon's and Anakin's company as much as possible. He got up early in the morning and looked for shelter in a quiet room in the Temple in order to meditate. The rest of the day he stubbornly practised lightsaber combat and other abilities he would need in his trials. He returned to their quarters late at night when Qui-Gon and Anakin were already fast asleep. To Qui-Gon he talked about nothing but the most necessary things. To Anakin he did not talk at all. The tension in the air was almost palpable. Then, at the morning of Obi-Wan's trials, everything erupted.

Even though Obi-Wan got up very early again, the other two were already awake as well. Both still dressed in their pyjamas, they were squatted next to each other on the carpet of the living-room. Qui-Gon was talking to Anakin in a quiet voice.

"…not reach out to the Force. You must let it flow through you and you must listen to it. Then you can direct it carefully."

Obi-Wan could not believe it: Qui-Gon was teaching Anakin how to meditate!

"Master," he said sharply.

The two of them whirled around and stared at him.

"Good morning, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said politely.

Obi-Wan ignored the salute. "You're teaching him in the ways of the Force. You are not allowed to do so," he said accusingly.

"I am still the Master and you are the Padawan," Qui-Gon responded calmly.

"But the Council forbade it!" Obi-Wan insisted.

"Then you'd better inform the Council right now," Qui-Gon said airily. "I'm going to go make us some tea. Why don't you two meditate a little bit more? I have a feeling that you both could use it." Qui-Gon disappeared into the little kitchen.

Undetermined, Obi-Wan looked down at Anakin. The boy wore much too large and much too warm pyjamas. He still looked quite sleepy and his much too long hair was in a mess.

"You are doing the trials today, aren't you?" Anakin asked friendly.

"Yes."

"I hope you'll do it."

"Why?" Obi-Wan asked, lurking.

"Because then Qui-Gon will be allowed to train me," Anakin told him light-heartedly. "These things about the Force and things are bloody interesting but I don't think Qui-Gon'll show me more until I'm his Padawan."

_**I** am his Padawan!_ Obi-Wan wanted to scream but instead he just remained silent.

"Obi-Wan, why do you have fear of flying?" Anakin asked interestedly.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath. That boy could really be a pain in the neck. "That's none of your business."

"Perhaps it would help if you watched a few pod-races. This evening there's one on Holo-net sports-channel. Or you go to the flying simulator here in the Temple. Qui-Gon said there's one for training here."

"Tell me, do you think I am stupid? It so happened that I have been living here for 25 years and I have been flying in the simulator about 25000 times. You needn't tell me what Temple training is like."

"Oh," was all Anakin said.

"And besides – no one ever said I had fear of flying," Obi-Wan added, annoyed.

"Yes, Qui-Gon did."

"And what if he's lying?" Obi-Wan asked testily.

"I don't think so."

"But you think that _I_ am lying."

Anakin shrugged. "Are you gonna tell the Council that Qui-Gon taught me in the ways of the Force?"

"Yes, you know what? I will do that."

"Then you're either a liar or a squealer!"

"This has nothing to do with squealing! It's just the _truth_ and Jedi are supposed to always tell the truth!"

"I know very well why you're so nasty towards me! Qui-Gon told me! Because you are _jealous_ of me! Oh yes! Because Qui-Gon wants to train _me_ instead of such a squealer like you!"

"So, that's what he told you?" Obi-Wan hardly realized that he was yelling at Anakin. He was blind with rage and hurt by the fact that Qui-Gon talked about him like that in front of a nine-year-old boy.

"You are jealous because I have more Midi-thingies and I will be a much, much better Jedi than you! Because I don't lie! And I don't squeal!"

"Now _I_ tell you something! No matter how many Midi-Chlorians you have – you will never – _never_ – become a Jedi! The Council has recognised this! You will never be a Jedi! Because you're already too tainted inside! Because you're a _slave_!"

An ominous silence spread after these words. Anakin was paralyzed. Obi-Wan was breathing heavily.

"Obi-Wan – out. Get out of here."

Obi-Wan whirled around. Qui-Gon was standing behind him. Fearfully, Obi-Wan wondered how much he had heard of the _conversation_. But that did not matter. The look with which Qui-Gon regarded him told him enough. Obi-Wan could not believe what he had just done – what he had _said_. He was regretting it already now. Not just because Qui-Gon had overheard it. Also because Obi-Wan, who wanted to be knighted soon, had let his anger reign him that much. And also because he had treated Anakin like that. Even if he could not stand Anakin and even if Anakin was impudent and cheeky and perhaps would really never be a Jedi, it was no, absolutely _no_ justification to insult somebody as a "slave".

Obi-Wan wanted to say something but he could not. Silently, he left the apartment.

Obi-Wan went outside and grabbed a speeder. He raced through the Coruscanti traffic for hours and flew breakneck manoeuvres which would have made even Anakin struck in awe. When he landed at the Temple shortly before sunset, his legs were shaking and he felt very, very sick. _Never again_, he told himself.

Slowly, he made his way for the Council Chambers. Normally, it was a tradition that a Master accompanied his Padawan this last part of the way before the Padawan was on his own during the trials. The Master encouraged his apprentice and gave him some final words of wisdom. Obi-Wan would have to do without it. And he could not resent Qui-Gon's reaction. It was no one's but Obi-Wan's fault, he himself had squandered it. And there was no one whom he could blame for this. Least of all Anakin. _I guess I owe him to pass the trials. Him and Qui-Gon._

His heart heavy, his head down, Obi-Wan walked through the long corridor.

Someone was standing outside the Council Chambers waiting for him.

Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan's heart welled up with joy. And shame. He stood still some steps away from Qui-Gon.

"Master… You have come." His voice sounded funnily hoarse.

"Of course I have come, Padawan," Qui-Gon said, smiling. "You think I'd give up our nearly thirteen-year-old friendship on one single day because of one single word? It's just a tradition but I want to go this way together with you, Padawan. And I wanted to call you _Padawan _one last time."

Obi-Wan looked down at the floor. "I don't think I am ready, Master," he said quietly.

Qui-Gon took a few steps towards him and laid both his hands on Obi-Wan's shoulders.

"But _I_ think you are ready," he said gently. "No, I _know_ you are ready."

Obi-Wan swallowed. He had tears in his eyes. This meant more to him than anything else. Qui-Gon believed in him. It did not matter if he passed or failed the trials. This was more important. He lifted his head and looked Qui-Gon in the eyes.

"I am sorry, Master, for what I have done today. I am ashamed of myself. I will apologise to Anakin."

Qui-Gon nodded. "There certainly is something to be sorted out. But that's the future. Now you must focus on the present. Your little weakness. I've always thought it was your only one. Now I know that you have another weakness: Jealousy."

Obi-Wan smiled shyly. "I have many other weaknesses, Master…"

Qui-Gon smiled back warmly and squeezed Obi-Wan's shoulders briefly. "Focus, my Padawan," he reminded him gently.

"Yes, Master. I will not disappoint you."

"You have never done that. I am proud of having been allowed to train you."

Obi-Wan felt tears well up inside him yet again. "Thanks, Master." He swallowed. "Thank you for everything you have done for me."

Qui-Gon appreciated it with a small nod. "Time for you to go. I don't want you to fail your trials because of unpunctuality. That would be quite out of character from you… May the Force be with you, Knight Kenobi."

"Master-," Obi-Wan started to protest, half annoyed, half flattered, but Qui-Gon gave him a gentle prod towards the magnificent door of the Jedi Council Chambers.

"Go now."

Obi-Wan looked back one last time to see Qui-Gon smiling encouragingly at him. He felt his heart warm up and a deep peace spread inside him. Then he crossed the door.


	2. Padawans

**Chapter 2**

**Padawans**

Qui-Gon stepped to the big window in the anteroom of the Council Chambers. The setting of the Coruscanti suns was a spectacular view ever and anon. The big city was clad in gold and single skyscrapers loomed as pitch-black shadows in front of the red sky.

Qui-Gon was not nervous that his Padawan might fail. He had spoken the truth when assuring Obi-Wan that he knew he was ready. Obi-Wan had actually been ready a long time ago. So why was it that Qui-Gon had not nominated him for the trials earlier? Was it because of his former Padawan Xanatos, who had taken the trials too early and had fallen to the Dark Side of the Force later? Certainly those experiences had made Qui-Gon more careful. He was sure, however, that he did not have to worry about Obi-Wan overtaking the same fate as Xanatos. The two of them were so different… Xanatos, having so much faith in his own abilities, and Obi-Wan, full of self-doubt, which was on the one hand his strength but on the other his weakness. Sure, Obi-Wan still had enough weaknesses: His missing connection to the living Force, his impatience, his uncertainty… but these were little faults, which he would master in his life as a Jedi Knight.

Anakin, on the other hand, was totally different again. Buoyant, exuberant, full of energy and curiosity, and _very_ impulsive. Qui-Gon had to smile. _Is this going to turn out well with the two of us?_ It was rather unusual for a Master-Padawan-Team but in the case of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, the Padawan had been the calming influence – at least in their later years – whereas the Master had been the driving force. Qui-Gon's smile broadened. _He is so much more sensible than I am. _He envisioned his Padawan, who, frowning slightly, politely pointed out to his Master that they must fulfil a mission when Qui-Gon once again let his instincts guide him, which would often result in serious problems.

Qui-Gon wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. He would miss Obi-Wan. Of course Obi-Wan was not away forever but it would be strange to not always have him on his side anymore. They would go on separate missions. Qui-Gon reminded himself that this was the course of matter: To wax and wane. Nothing ever lasted. There was nothing but the Force. That was why attachment was forbidden. However, there were many Jedi rules which Qui-Gon did not approve of very much. Such as this rule. Now Obi-Wan would be frowning again if Qui-Gon shared these ideas with him.

Maybe Obi-Wan would be a much better teacher to Anakin than Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan was a role-model Jedi in many aspects. If you left out this morning's episode. Qui-Gon had to admit that Obi-Wan's vigorous reaction had surprised him quite a bit. At times it happened that Padawans completely freaked out before their trials (that's how Qui-Gon had tried to comfort hysterical Anakin – "he didn't mean in", "he is under great pressure", "an important stage of his life is going to end"…) but Obi-Wan's behaviour had gone too far. Nevertheless, Qui-Gon trusted in him to understand it himself. After all, he was a grown up man.

_Oh dear, how time flies…_

Images of twelve-year-old Obi-Wan appeared in his mind. Long forgotten memories of bygone missions surfaced again.

_No_, Qui-Gon decided, he and Obi-Wan were not going to drift apart as it had happened between Qui-Gon and his Master Dooku.

Finally, Obi-Wan came out of the Council Chambers. Qui-Gon's Padawan – wrong, his _former_ Padawan – had difficulties in suppressing the joy and the pride and all the other emotions which mirrored in his face.

"You don't have to suppress your pride, Padawan – ah, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said and took a step forward.

Obi-Wan frowned. "But it's said that pride leads to arrogance, arrogance leads to -"

"Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon interrupted him. He could not decide whether to be amused or desperate. "I bet there's a rule which says that a Padawan who has passed his trials is allowed to be proud and must celebrate."

Obi-Wan grinned sheepishly. "That rule sounds as if it's from you, Master."

"Qui-Gon."

"Pardon?"

"You can call me Qui-Gon now. I am no longer your Master."

A brief flicker of regret crossed Obi-Wan's expression. "I guess it will take some time until I get used to it… Qui-Gon."

"I'm facing the same difficulties," Qui-Gon replied. Then he added, "Padawan."

Obi-Wan laughed. "I don't mind that at all."

"And before I might forget it: Congratulations!" Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Thanks." Obi-Wan was all smiles and by now he did not struggle to conceal it any longer. "At midnight I'll be officially knighted. And you and Anakin are supposed to come as well since Anakin will be inaugurated then."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "At midnight… the boy is only nine years old, he should be sleeping by then. That shows once again that the Council is incapable of dealing with children." He expected Obi-Wan to frown again, as Qui-Gon had so openly criticised the Council, but no such thing happened.

"I suppose it will be rather exciting to Anakin. To stay up till midnight and then to see all those great Jedi Masters… The celebratory ceremony and the view of Coruscant at night…" Obi-Wan shrugged. "At least I would have thought this pretty exciting at the age of nine."

Surprised, Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan. He had not expected _this_. And all the same it sounded logical. "You are probably right… oh dear, I think I'm getting old."

"That's nonsense," Obi-Wan disagreed but Qui-Gon knew it was the truth. Of course Obi-Wan was able to put himself in Anakin's position more easily than Qui-Gon was. The age difference was not very big. They could have been brothers. For a brief moment Qui-Gon indulged in the sentimental thought of his two unlike sons. Obi-Wan, quite the older, proper brother, who had to take care of his little brother, Anakin, the wild child.

"We should go now," Obi-Wan said. "You must get Anakin a new haircut. He needs a Padawan haircut before he's going to be inaugurated."

"Why don't you do it?" Qui-Gon suggested on the spur of the moment.

"You are his Master," Obi-Wan answered somewhat stiffly.

"Not yet. I would like it if you did it."

"Alright, Master."

xxxxx

Anakin was already awaiting them when they returned to their apartment.

"Well?" he asked tensely.

Qui-Gon let Obi-Wan go ahead. It was good if the two learned to talk to each other in a normal manner.

"I'm sorry for what I called you earlier," Obi-Wan finally spoke. "I didn't mean it. I was speaking in rage."

Anakin did not go into it at all. "Did you pass the trials?" he asked urgently.

"Oh. Yes. I did."

"Cool!" Anakin bounced enthusiastically up and down under Obi-Wan's disapproving glance. "Qui-Gon, that means you can finally train me! Do I get my own lightsabre? I wanna have a blue one!"

Qui-Gon had to smile in face of Anakin's childish enthusiasm. "First of all, you have to take part in a ceremony where you pledge loyalty to me and the Jedi Order. That'll be in less than two hours. Obi-Wan will help you get ready. And tomorrow we can start lightsabre practice."

"That's wizard! I'm gonna use a lightsabre! If Kitster knew that!" Talking incessantly, Anakin followed Obi-Wan into the bathroom. Qui-Gon sat down contentedly in his armchair when the door closed behind the two. That was good. Perhaps they would get closer now. Or a least stop fighting each other.

An abrupt scream made Qui-Gon jump from his idle hopes. Next moment Anakin darted out of the bathroom.

"Qui-Gon!" he screamed.

"What's wrong?" Qui-Gon asked worriedly.

"He wants to cut off my hair! He says it's gotta be all short!" Anakin's voice spoke of utter terror. Now Obi-Wan stepped out of the bathroom as well, one hand still holding the scissors. Qui-Gon would never forget this sight. Obi-Wan's expression: a mixture of annoyance, despair and perplexity; and in addition to that panicking Anakin, who took cover behind the couch in order to be as far away as possible from Obi-Wan – and the scissors. Qui-Gon needed all his efforts to suppress a loud laughter. He quickly disguised it as a small cough.

"So Obi-Wan wants to cut your hair," he turned to Anakin. "Did he tell you why he wants to do it?"

"He says you must have such a haircut if you want to become a Padawan. But he lied again, didn't he?" Anakin looked pleadingly at Qui-Gon, hoping that the latter would confirm his words. Obi-Wan sniffed disgustedly.

"No, unfortunately – or rather: fortunately! – Obi-Wan did not lie again," Qui-Gon said. "It's a tradition that a Padawan wears such a haircut. You see Obi-Wan's."

"But I don't wanna have such an ugly hedgehog-haircut like Obi-Wan!"

"Well, then you can't become a Jedi," Obi-Wan said harshly.

"What?" Anakin asked, shocked.

"Yes, it's quite easy: Either you get this haircut or you can't be a Jedi. It's your own decision; no one is going to force you into it."

Anakin turned from Obi-Wan to Qui-Gon.

"That's true," the latter confirmed, _even though I wouldn't have put it as crucial as this_, he added in thought.

The corners of Anakin's mouth dropped down. "Alright. But only if _you_ cut my hair, Qui-Gon."

"Alright." Sighing, Qui-Gon got up from his comfortable armchair. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes in irritation when he handed Qui-Gon the scissors. Anakin poked his tongue out to Obi-Wan when he passed him. Qui-Gon sighed again. _So much about some conciliation between the two…_

Anakin complained, protested and lamented continuously while Qui-Gon was trying to get the squirming boy a passable haircut.

"Not that short! That's already short enough! Oh no, Qui-Gon, please, that's really enough now! Not still shorter! Argh…" Anakin's face darkened increasingly while he followed in the mirror what Qui-Gon did to his hair. "I look like _Obi-Wan,_" he groaned.

"Obi-Wan isn't _that_ ugly, is he?" Qui-Gon said amusedly.

"Yes, Obi-Wan is the ugliest I've ever seen!" Anakin argued. "He looks like a bantha-ass! And he stinks like one, too."

"Anakin," Qui-Gon reprimanded him strictly. This was getting too far.

"But he does," Anakin muttered, sulking.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing." Anakin looked in the mirror again. "Oh no, Qui-Gon, is that supposed to be a _braid_?"

"Yes."

"Oh no, please, you can't be serious," Anakin whimpered. "I'm not a girl!"

"All the boys in the Temple have such a braid," Qui-Gon calmed him down. "No one is going to make fun of you because of it."

The rest of the time Anakin was brooding morosely and remained _silent_. Considering Anakin, that meant a lot. Finally, Qui-Gon lowered the scissors.

"Done."

Anakin turned his head from one side to the other and examined the work in the mirror. "It looks stupid," he said accusingly to Qui-Gon.

"You could have let Obi-Wan cut it," Qui-Gon said unapologetically. "Perhaps then it would have gotten nicer."

"No." Anakin sniffed sulkily. "I bet he'd have cut me right into the head with the scissors."

_Oh dear_, Qui-Gon thought. "Obi-Wan has a lightsabre. He doesn't need scissors to attack you."

"But with the scissors he could have made it look like an accident."

_Oh dear_, Qui-Gon thought again. "Come on, let's go," he said.

Obi-Wan was already waiting for them. He had put on a neat tunic and had combed his hair carefully. All of a sudden Qui-Gon wondered what kind of haircut Obi-Wan would choose once a Jedi-Knight. Would he let his hair grow like Qui-Gon's or would he possibly shave it bald in Mace-Windu-style? Qui-Gon had to grin slightly. He could picture Obi-Wan neither with the first nor the latter.

Anakin hesitantly stepped behind Qui-Gon out of the bathroom. The way he looked at Obi-Wan could only be described as _very_ miserable.

"It doesn't look _that _bad after all, does it?" Obi-Wan tried to be a little nice towards Anakin.

"Yes, it does," Anakin griped.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Shall we go then?" he asked Qui-Gon.

"Sure."

When they were waiting in front of the Council-Chambers, Qui-Gon indulged once again in philosophical matters. On the one hand he had two Padawans at the moment, but on the other he had no Padawan at all. It was an uncertainty, an interstage, as if you were floating in hyperspace between two planets. Anakin and Obi-Wan were both very nervous, as Qui-Gon could easily detect, even though they displayed it in very different ways. Obi-Wan stood unmoving, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes staring fixedly at some place of nocturnal Coruscant. Anakin, however, was pacing nervously up and down, threw quick glimpses out of the window and from time to time he asked Qui-Gon completely incoherent questions.

In the Force Qui-Gon sensed them surrounded by the same uncertainty as he was himself. Officially, Obi-Wan was not a Padawan anymore but he was not a Knight yet either. He was no longer a student, a child, but all the same he was not an adult yet. Now he would have to find his own way. Anakin's life would undergo a radical change, too. The irrepressible boy from Tatooine was to become a Jedi Apprentice and even more: As the Chosen One he was meant to bring balance to the Force. Qui-Gon was not disturbed by this uncertainty. He had great faith in his two "Padawans". That did not mean things would always be easy, no, the future was always in motion, but the will of the Force would guide them. All three of them. In the Force Qui-Gon sensed the interconnections between them. Anakin's presence – so much more powerful than Obi-Wan's or even Qui-Gon's but all the same so much more uncontrolled. It would be a great task for Qui-Gon to guide Anakin and help him control his power. Suddenly, Qui-Gon sensed something more. Something strong, something between Anakin and Obi-Wan. Oh, _that_ was interesting. But it was visible only briefly, a brief flare-up in the Force, which was soon overlaid by other things.

The ceremony went very well. Qui-Gon was very touched when he chopped off the Padawan braid of his "old Padawan" and thus knighted him. His "little Padawan" did very well, too. His sincerity when he repeated the phrases with which Master and Padawan pledged loyalty to each other surprised Qui-Gon.

When they finally left the Council Chambers, Qui-Gon's "Padawans" were not nervous any longer but proud and self-confident. Outside, Bant Eerin, Garen Muln and Siri Tachi (who had been knighted herself just some time before) were waiting for them in order to congratulate Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan beamed when he spotted them but Anakin tried to hide behind Qui-Gon's back. He still found his new look very embarrassing.

"So you are Qui-Gon's new Padawan?" Bant asked kindly.

Anakin came out behind Qui-Gon's back but he made sure to turn his head so that no one could see his braid. "Yes. Hi, I'm Anakin Skywalker."

"Nice to meet you." Bant shook his hand. "Welcome to the Jedi-Order, Anakin. I'm Bant Eerin, this is Garen Muln and this is Siri Tachi. But I guess Obi-Wan told you already about us."

"Not very much," Anakin replied diplomatically.

"We didn't have much time yet to talk to each other," Obi-Wan intervened quickly. "I had to prepare for my trials."

"Well, then now you've passed you surely have more time to get to know each other," Bant said – very diplomatically as well.

"I wouldn't count on that," Siri cut in with a slightly sneering undertone. "As a Jedi Knight you have less time than ever. I got the feeling they're sending recently knighted Jedi off on mission non-stop."

"That's the only reason why I'm not knighted yet," Garen joked. "Such a life would be much too hectic for me."

"Tomorrow morning I have to leave _again_," Siri said with a pained expression.

"They probably just want to get rid of you," Garen teased.

"Or it is because you are such a great Jedi Knight," Obi-Wan said. "That's a problem…"

"If I may have a say in this matter," Qui-Gon announced, "it _could_ be that the Council wants to give recently knighted Jedi the opportunity to gain a wide experience…"

The four young Jedi looked at each other and started laughing.

"If you say so, Qui-Gon," Siri said, "then I ought to be thankful and look forward to getting up at such an inhuman time tomorrow. Well, I'd better go then and try to get _a little bit_ of sleep at least."

Obi-Wan's friends said good-bye and wished Anakin good luck for his career as a Jedi.

"Thanks for coming," Obi-Wan said happily before following Anakin and Qui-Gon.

Inside their quarters Qui-Gon poured them something to drink. "Let's clink glasses."

They drank in silence, Corellian wine for Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, and Muja-juice for Anakin. Anakin had quickly drunk up his juice and was now fidgeting nervously on the couch. He was not used to remaining silent for such a long time.

"So, how does it feel to be a Padawan?" Obi-Wan finally interrupted the silence.

Anakin's hand shot to the back of his head. He flinched slightly when his hand touched the braid. "It's nice," he mumbled self-consciously. "Apart from the haircut."

Obi-Wan forced a smile. "You will get used to it."

Anakin tried to smoothen down his braid, which, as it was very short, stuck out in a funny angle – he had no success at all. "That looks so stupid," he started whining again. "All the others that I've seen here in the Temple have a longer braid."

"That's because they have been living in the Temple since shortly after their birth," Qui-Gon explained. "So the braid has had more time to grow."

"Then everyone will forever know that I'm not a real Jedi because I have such a piffling short braid," Anakin lamented.

"You are a real Jedi," Qui-Gon said comfortingly, "or at least you will become one. Being a Jedi has nothing to do with the length of the Padawan braid."

"But everyone will make fun of me!"

Qui-Gon kept silent. What was he supposed to answer to that? Kids could be really cruel sometimes. It was possible that Anakin was going to be teased because of his short braid. But he would have to learn to live with that. It was one of the hard lessons of life, but he could learn a lot from it. At least Qui-Gon hoped that's what Anakin would do.

"Here, you can have mine if you want."

Surprised, Qui-Gon watched as Obi-Wan offered his just cut off Padawan braid to Anakin.

"Perhaps you can tie it to yours."

Anakin took the braid hesitantly and examined it not very enthusiastically. Of course, to him it was nothing but a strand of hair with some ribbons woven in, already matted and a bit dirty.

"I'll consider it," Anakin said and put the braid in a pocket of his tunic.

Obi-Wan seemed a little hurt by Anakin's reaction. Qui-Gon gave his former Padawan a big smile in order to show him that at least Qui-Gon knew to appreciate the value of this gift.

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon drank up their wine in silence. Anakin yawned more and more frequently.

"I suppose it's time to go to bed, Padawan," Qui-Gon said, smiling.

"Yes-" Obi-Wan broke off when realising that Qui-Gon had not addressed _him_. He cleared his throat and stood up. "Yes, Anakin, come on, you are getting my old room now. I'm just going to remove my things and then you can sleep there."

"Okay." Anakin followed Obi-Wan into his room.

_Hopefully things will go better this time_, Qui-Gon thought when the door closed behind the two.


	3. ObiWan's Room

**Chapter 3**

**Obi-Wan's Room**

Anakin stayed next to the door in order to be able to flee quickly if Obi-Wan tried to do something funny to him again like cutting his hair. Curiously, he took a look around the room which soon was to be his own. It was very…empty. A bed, a night table, a wardrobe, a chair, a little table. That was all. Nothing suggested that someone had been living here. Anakin had considered Qui-Gon's room pretty impersonal but compared to Obi-Wan's it was much more colourful and pleasant.

"You've been living here all those years?" Anakin asked sceptically.

"Yes."

"It's so empty here," Anakin said cautiously.

"Jedi set no great store by possession," Obi-Wan explained curtly.

"I see." Anakin observed Obi-Wan clearing out his wardrobe. Only few shelves were filled with items. Clothes, three training-lightsabers, a datapad and some stuff which was required on missions. "Why?" Anakin asked after some time.

Obi-Wan paused for a moment and turned to him. "You better let Qui-Gon explain it to you," he said calmly. "After all, he is your Master now. And besides, you don't believe what I say anyway."

Anakin could not tell whether Obi-Wan was angry at him. He could detect no hint of emotion on Obi-Wan's face at all. Scary. Very scary. "I didn't have much possession on Tatooine either. Mostly junk. I used to build things out of it," Anakin gabbled on. He did not feel comfortable when there was silence for a too long time.

"Ah," Obi-Wan replied.

Anakin groaned inwardly. Obi-Wan was a damn difficult conversational partner. Then something else attracted his attention. Obi-Wan pulled out a starfighter model from one of the shelves.

"Oh, can I have a look?" Enthusiastically he snapped up the model from Obi-Wan's hands and scrutinised it. "That's an X-Wing 67A, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"That's pretty outdated. No one flies something like this anymore. Much too lame."

"That's why it does not hang at the ceiling anymore."

"I see. Can I have it then?"

"No," Obi-Wan said firmly.

"Why not?"

Obi-Wan frowned. "Because it's mine." He took the starfighter back from Anakin.

"I thought Jedi set no great store in possession," Anakin countered.

"I thought the starfighter is outdated and much too lame," Obi-Wan retorted in much the same tone.

"Yes, it is, but it's a very neat starfighter all the same," Anakin replied unperturbed. "And a very precisely processed model."

"Very well then. Keep it." Obi-Wan pushed the model into Anakin's hands again.

"Cool!" Anakin rejoiced. "I'm going to hang it up. And next to it a T-Wing 707. You know that one?"

"No."

"They didn't get to produce many of them because at that time the production company went bust. It was such an awesome flier! If they'd just come out with it a _little bit_ earlier, they'd have become mega-rich. But now it's really, really hard to get a 707. That's a flier for professionals. Do you know what its weaponry equipment is like?"

"No."

Anakin pulled a face. "You're not very interested in it, are you?"

"That's right."

Obi-Wan _really _was a difficult conversational partner.

Obi-Wan pulled out a trunk from under his bed and started packing his things. Bored, Anakin pulled the Padawan braid, which Obi-Wan had given to him earlier, out of his pocket and toyed a bit with it. While he let it run through his fingers, he wondered if he really should tie it to his own braid. There were more than enough reasons speaking against it. Firstly, it was kind of cheating. His Mum had once explained to him what "to adorn oneself with borrowed plumes" meant. It probably applied exactly to this situation. Furthermore, it was weird to tie a stranger's hair to one's own. It was sort of icky. Actually, Obi-Wan's braid was quite icky. Then again there was some _very_ good reason to tie this braid to his own. Because his own was so short and mingy and he was going to be embarrassed of it _every single day_ and _everyone_ was going to make fun of him…

_Very well then._ It took him some effort to knot Obi-Wan's braid to his own. There was no mirror here, in which he could observe the result.

"Hey, Obi-Wan? Does it look okay now?"

Obi-Wan turned to him and examined him critically. Then he moved towards Anakin and tugged and pulled his hair. Anakin ducked down a little. He did not like being that close to Obi-Wan. And being touched by Obi-Wan was even worse.

"Stand still," Obi-Wan commanded sternly. "We need to shorten it," he said mostly to himself. "Right, where did I put the scissors…?"

Anakin fingered the braid. Obi-Wan was right, obviously: the braid dangled loosely at his side and almost reached his knees. Obi-Wan made a big fuss about cutting down the braid. He seemed very sceptical and needed an extremely long time to decide at which length he should cut it and hesitated and held it off again… Anakin was at the end of his tether. He could not understand what was so difficult about one simple cut. Finally the scissors clipped and the long end of the braid fell to the floor. Obi-Wan picked it up and threw it into the litter-shaft. He took a few steps back and nodded satisfied.

"That should do. Why don't you get your things out of Qui-Gon's room?" he suggested. "You can bring them here."

"Okay," Anakin agreed, glad to have something to do. It was done rather quickly because he did not possess much either. When he had left Taooine, he had not been able to bring many things with him.

"Okay, ready." Anakin climbed on top of the bed in order to hang the starfighter model up at the ceiling.

"Anakin, you cannot go with the boots on the bed!" Obi-Wan griped immediately. "You're getting everything dirty!"

"Okay, okay." Anakin jumped down from the bed. "But I can't get up to the ceiling. Can you put it up for me?"

"Alright," Obi-Wan said, seized the model, _took off his boots_ and then stepped onto the bed. "Right here?" He held it up at the ceiling and Anakin directed him until he was satisfied.

"Well, then everything is ready." Obi-Wan took a last, somewhat nostalgic look around his old room – Anakin's new room – then he seized his trunk, stuck his remaining things under his arm and set off.

"Ah, you're ready." Qui-Gon smiled when the two stepped out of the door. "Wait, I'll help you, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon got up and offered to carry the trunk.

_Oops, should I have helped him, too?_ Anakin wondered. _There aren't any rules which force Padawans to attend on the Knights, are there?_ He really did not fancy carrying things for Obi-Wan or giving his shoes a shine. _No thank you. Never a slave again…_

"I can do that myself, Master. Er – Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan said. Anakin had the impression he wanted to leave as quickly as possible.

"You know you are always welcome here, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon told his former apprentice.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Thanks, M- Qui-Gon."

_Wait a moment!_ Anakin wanted to shout. _I live here as well and I don't feel like Obi-Wan is always welcome here. _But he better let it alone. If he had understood correctly, he had sworn to obey his Master in those strange words which Mace Windu had made him repeat during the ceremony. Anakin did not approve of that as a matter of principle – he had been a slave long enough – but he did not worry that Qui-Gon might force him to do anything uncomfortable. If it was the only problem that for some strange reason Qui-Gon liked Obi-Wan very much, Anakin would be able to live with it. The Temple was big enough; it should be no problem for Anakin to stay out of Obi-Wan's way.

"Good luck, Anakin," Obi-Wan suddenly addressed him. "I'm sure you will be a good Jedi. After all, it's Qui-Gon who is going to teach you."

Oh, that had been almost nice… Obi-Wan even smiled a tad. Now surely everyone expected Anakin to say something nice in return, didn't they?

"Okay. Good luck, Obi-Wan. Um… You definitely will be a good Jedi-Knight." Unsure, he looked up at Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon rested a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it affectionately.

"I can only agree to that," Qui-Gon told Obi-Wan.

"Thanks." With that Obi-Wan turned and left. Anakin took a deep breath. He was relieved Obi-Wan was finally gone. Being alone with Qui-Gon was so much easier.

"You did get along quite well, you and Obi-Wan, didn't you?" Qui-Gon said airily.

"So-so," Anakin answered. "He hardly talks at all."

For some reason this answer seemed to have Qui-Gon amused since he was chuckling. Anakin frowned, which made Qui-Gon just laugh more. Finally he said, "Your Padawan braid looks much better this way."

"Really?" Anakin asked hopefully.

"_Much_ better," Qui-Gon confirmed.

Anakin tightened his shoulders and ran into the bathroom to admire his "new" haircut in the mirror. Qui-Gon was right. It looked much better this way. In fact, it looked still very, very stupid (Kitster would die laughing!) but in the eyes of the Jedi it would probably look normal. Anakin yawned at his face in the mirror. Now he was really tired. But he could not find sleep when he was lying in bed. In _Obi-Wan's_ bed. In Obi-Wan's room. And Obi-Wan's X-Wing model hung above his head. Briefly he was tempted to rip it down but he let it alone. The starfighter was much too lovely for it. But it was going to remind Anakin day after day that this was not his but Obi-Wan's room. Surely everyone expected him to become a second Obi-Wan Kenobi. But he did not want that. Of course, he did think Obi-Wan pretty stupid, but what was more, he just wanted to be Anakin Skywalker. Besides, after all Anakin had heard, Obi-Wan was a really good Jedi. That meant Anakin would have to make an effort to live up to Qui-Gon's expectations. And, if he had understood correctly, Qui-Gon also believed him to be the "Chosen One". Whatever that was supposed to mean… it certainly did not make things easier. Uneasily he turned in his bed. In his back he could sense the little cavities in the mattress which Obi-Wan had left there in all those years. Anakin shuddered. He had not even gotten new bedding. This was the same blanket which Obi-Wan used to have…

_Yuck! Ugh… And what's that dirt? So Obi-Wan shit in his bed, right? Ah, no, that was probably I myself when I got with the boots on the bed…_

And everything smelled of…of…Obi-Wan. Well, fortunately it did _not _smell of bantha-ass. Involuntarily Anakin had to grin. Perhaps the Jedi-Knight who seemed to be a friend of Obi-Wan's (who in the galaxy would voluntarily be friends with Obi-Wan??) was right and young Jedi-Knights were often sent on missions. Hopefully.

Sure, it _had _been nice of Obi-Wan to just give him this beautiful starfighter model. Suddenly, Anakin was reminded that he had not even said thank you. He was halfway out of bed in order to make up for it when he changed his mind. Surely Obi-Wan was already fast asleep, he told himself. He could as well thank him another time. And actually Obi-Wan owed him something. After all, Obi-Wan had yelled at him and lied at him. And he had called Anakin a "slave". To make up for _that_ Obi-Wan had to give him at least a T-Wing 707. And not just a model. A _real _one.

xxxxx

The next day Anakin learned how to fight with a lightsaber. It was a lot of fun to him but the best thing about it was that he got a _real_ lightsaber. He had, however, chosen a green lightsaber now – like Qui-Gon's. And Qui-Gon explained to him he would later _create_ his _own_ lightsaber. Therefore a Jedi went to the Caves of Ilum, where he chose certain crystals which made a lightsaber something special. Every lightsaber was unique and it perfectly matched its owner. Anakin could hardly wait to visit the Caves of Ilum.

When Qui-Gon and Anakin returned from the training's room, Obi-Wan crossed their way.

"It looks like Siri has been right," he said. "Concerning young Jedi, who are often sent on missions. The Council has just given me an assignment."

"When? And whereto?" Qui-Gon asked interestedly.

"I'm leaving tomorrow. To Tan-Sifar."

Immediately, the two men were engaged in an endlessly boring conversation about politics on Tan-Sifar and diplomacy. Anakin had already heard this word before (unlike all the other words Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were pronouncing now) but he did not know its meaning. He tried to ask Qui-Gon but nobody paid attention to him. Irritated, he strolled behind the two, who seemed to intend to take a walk through the whole Temple. Well, that would take a long time… When they crossed a certain path in the Temple garden for the third time, Anakin lost his patience. He activated his lightsabes and casually swung it through the air as he had observed Qui-Gon doing it. Accidentally, he hit the small stonewall. And the blade cut _right through _the stone. _Wow!_ Anakin tried to do it once again but suddenly someone grabbed his arm very hard.

"This is _no_ toy!" Obi-Wan said harshly.

"I didn't do it on purpose," Anakin said quickly.

"But there was no reason to draw the lightsaber or have you been attacked?" Obi-Wan rebuked him strictly.

"I just wanted to try how it works," Anakin said defiantly. He failed to see why Obi-Wan made such a big fuss about it. A tiny piece was broken from the wall but the wall really did not look like it was something exceptionally valuable.

"A lightsaber is not just a common weapon," Obi-Wan continued. "You don't learn that for fun, it-"

"Alright, alright, I got it!" Anakin cut him off irritated and shook off Obi-Wan's hand. "If I'd known you'd freak out like this, I definitely would have let my lightsabre stick at my belt."

"Well, then just _do_ that next time."

"Ani," Qui-Gon interrupted the dispute, "I can fully understand that the things we talk about are mind-numbing to you. Why don't you go ahead and meditate?"

"I can't do that on my own," Anakin answered still vexed.

"I'm sure you will make it," Qui-Gon told him.

Frowning Obi-Wan turned to Qui-Gon. "Are you sure this is a good idea? The boy has hardly any experience in how to use the Force. Wouldn't it be wiser if you supervised his meditation in the beginning?"

"I can make it very well on my own!" Challenging, Anakin looked at the young Jedi Knight. It annoyed him terribly that Obi-Wan considered him a stupid, little boy. "I'll go meditating then," he reinforced his decision.

"Go ahead," Qui-Gon said.

Anakin bit his lip and dashed off. If the two adults did not want him there… Obviously, his presence disturbed their oh-so-important conversation. He would have very much liked to activate his lightsaber again and lash out at the walls but he refrained from doing so. One could never know… Obi-Wan might be lurking behind any corner. Honestly, what did they expect from him? Today was his first day as Qui-Gon's Padawan and his sixth day in the Temple at all. How was he supposed to be the perfect Padawan like Obi-Wan Kenobi after such a short time? Fortunately, Obi-Wan was leaving Coruscant for a few days. Anakin was going to check a star-chart right now. Hopefully Tan-Sifar was far, far away.


	4. About Living Beings

**Chapter 4**

**About Living Beings**

"That would not have been necessary," Qui-Gon reprimanded Obi-Wan when Anakin had disappeared. "Anakin is _my_ Padawan and I would be very grateful if you left his training to me."

Obi-Wan flinched at the harsh words of his former Master. "Excuse me, Master," he said stiffly. "I thought it was important for him to learn that lesson."

"He will learn it eventually."

_He will not if nobody is going to teach it to him_, Obi-Wan thought. "You treat him differently," he reproached Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. "Differently than who? You?"

Obi-Wan felt himself redden slightly. Was he so obvious to see through? "Differently than any other Padawan."

"Good. I won't deny it," Qui-Gon said composedly.

"Just because he might be the _Chosen One_…" Obi-Wan shook his head in disbelief. "Qui-Gon, the Force may be very strong in him but that doesn't mean he is able to control this Force!"

"I have already meditated with Anakin and even now his command of the Force has been nearly as good as that of some other Padawans after several years of training."

_Ah, I see. Like for example that of such a boring, normal and insignificant Padawan as me?_

"I understand," Obi-Wan said coldly. "But if he is as far ahead as you are saying – then why didn't you tell him to use his lightsaber more carefully?" Obi-Wan's words had turned out more and more into an open accusation. He could tell that Qui-Gon did not like that.

"He is just nine years old. So it's absolutely normal that I treat him differently than an older Padawan."

"But even at his young age he is already so much more… self-confident than most of the other pupils of his age. Perhaps you should better set limits to him instead of encouraging this… trait of his." Obi-Wan remembered how casually Anakin had hogged his new room. How impudently he talked to Obi-Wan or even Qui-Gon. How arrogantly he had asked Obi-Wan without hesitation if he could have the starfighter model. _Just like that._ Because he had _liked _it. And no word of thanks. The same applied in case of the Padawan braid. The boy did not even master the most basic manners!

Qui-Gon slightly shook his head, sadly, as it seemed. "Anakin's back is full of scars," he said softly. "From beats from his slave-holders."

Something in Obi-Wan's chest contracted painfully. He felt driven into a corner. Qui-Gon wanted to appeal to his bad conscience or rather to his pity. This had already made him give Anakin his Padawan braid. In retrospect he did not think it a good idea. It would have been better, probably, if Anakin had been teased because of his short braid. Perhaps it would have shattered his abundant self-confidence. Of course the idea of slavery and things was very sad and distressing but did it justify Qui-Gon's special treatment of Anakin? Obi-Wan had a feeling Qui-Gon was blinded by his sympathy and affection for the boy. Just assuming that Anakin was _indeed_ the Chosen One: Wouldn't it be irresponsible to neglect his training because of sympathy? For Anakin's own sake and in the duty towards the Jedi-Order.

"You know that I despise slavery," Obi-Wan started, "and I think it is horrible that even _children_ are treated that brutally but… it doesn't do Anakin any good if you treat him totally differently just because of his past. If he really is the Chosen One-"

"Anakin _is_ the Chosen One," Qui-Gon interrupted him.

The conviction in Qui-Gon's voice maddened Obi-Wan. It maddened him that Qui-Gon believed unreservedly in Anakin. Qui-Gon had never trusted _Obi-Wan_ like that. He had hesitated for a very long time before he had accepted Obi-Wan as his Padawan in the first place.

"Why?" he asked his former Master accusingly. "Why are you so sure?"

"You still have much to learn," Qui-Gon replied coolly.

"Then _tell_ me. Please," Obi-Wan implored insistently. He had never requested to take his trials that early. He was well aware of the fact that he still had much to learn. It was unfair from Qui-Gon's part to reproach him now after refusing to train him any longer. Qui-Gon seemed to sense what was going on in Obi-Wan's mind and his expression softened somewhat.

"It's not about droids, who have all been programmed in the same way and can be operated in the same way. It's about _living beings_ and you cannot produce them by following a set pattern. Beings differ. You cannot regard someone without their background. And without their _emotions_."

"The Jedi-Code teaches that there are no emotions: _There is no emotion, there is only peace_."

"Nice quotation, Obi-Wan, but I'm afraid it is a bit unreflected. First, we're speaking of the _Jedi_-Code, which means that the majority of the galaxy still feels the normal amount of love, hate, anger and fear. Second, this rule does not say you must deny your emotions but that you must not let them _control_ you." Qui-Gon paused. "And that's exactly what you're doing at the moment," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Let my emotions control me?" Obi-Wan asked weakly.

"Correct," Qui-Gon answered. "You let jealousy manipulate your true judgment about Anakin."

"And what is my_ true judgment_ about Anakin supposed to be?"

"Oh, you will have to find out yourself. Search your feelings, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon smiled sagely. "However, I'm sure you like Anakin very much – somewhere deep down from the bottom of your heart."

Obi-Wan shrugged. "If you say so…"

"I feel a strong bond between the two of you in the Force."

"I feel nothing of the kind, Master." Although Obi-Wan knew Qui-Gon was much stronger in the Living Force than himself, he did not want to accept that theory of Qui-Gon's. And honestly, if the bond was as strong as Qui-Gon claimed, then even Obi-Wan ought to have noticed it.

But Qui-Gon just smiled again. "As I said: You still have much to learn."

Obi-Wan looked down resignedly. He was getting that feeling, too. Never in his life had he felt so ignorant. At the thought of his first solo-mission (which, until now, had always seemed to him like a "standard-mission" like the ones he had successfully executed together with Qui-Gon countless times) a damning discouragement invaded him. He had no idea how he was going to make it on his own.

Unexpectedly, Qui-Gon placed a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "In my heart there is enough place for both of you," he said kindly.

A tad ashamed Obi-Wan met the eyes of his longtime Master. "I guess I should know that."

"That's true."

_He is right again – as always_, Obi-Wan thought, _and I shouldn't act so ridiculously towards Anakin. The problem is just: When Qui-Gon says it, it sounds so logical and it seems easy to follow his lessons but as soon as that little snotty nose is standing in front of me…_


	5. Alive

**As I already said – this chapter is rather short again (it has the advantage that I'm able to update more quickly, though). **

**Thanks to all reviewers!**

It was a week later that Obi-Wan returned from his first mission as a Jedi-Knight. Although it had turned out to be more difficult than expected, Obi-Wan had passed it with flying colours. Qui-Gon had expected nothing less. Late in the evening the two men, engrossed in a serious conversation, were sitting in the quarters of Qui-Gon and Anakin. Suddenly Anakin burst into the room.

"Qui-Gon – Master!" His voice was buzzing with excitement. "Quick, we have to get out! It's _raining_!" He grabbed Qui-Gon's arm and pulled with all his strength. "I can't believe it, it's really raining! Come on, Qui-Gon, come along!"

Amused about Anakin's enthusiasm, Qui-Gon got up. Of course, Anakin was from a desert-planet and thus water was something rare and precious to him. Obi-Wan, however, was less thrilled about the interruption of their conversation.

"Anakin, would you please explain to us the sense of going _outside_ when it is _raining_?" he asked with a slight sarcastic undertone.

"We can get into the rain!" Anakin said raptly. "We're going to drink it and taste it and smell it and feel it! We're going to get _wet_!"

"That's exactly my point", Obi-Wan retorted with a sour face.

"Eh? What does he mean by that?" Anakin turned to Qui-Gon. "Well, it's not important now. Anyway, we're going outside. Come on, Master!"

When Anakin had tugged him already halfway through the door, Qui-Gon turned back to Obi-Wan. "Won't you come along with us?"

"I don't know why I should… alright, alright, I'm coming…" Sighing Obi-Wan followed them.

Qui-Gon knew that Obi-Wan did it for him. And he did it because he did not want to hear: _Don't be a poor sport._ They went for a great, open hangar-dock. With loud exaltation Anakin sprinted into the rain and performed a wild dance. He was singing a song, whose words Qui-Gon could not understand. It was about "splish-splash" or something like that. Qui-Gon wondered if the people from Tatooine would always welcome rain like this. Singing, dancing… Sometimes Qui-Gon felt much separated from the real world. Coruscant was artificial. A long time ago – so long that nobody remembered – "intelligent" beings had cultivated its nature and tamed its wilderness. The Jedi-Temple was equally artificial. The life within had nothing to do with real life. Huge statues of great Jedi-Masters adorned the long corridors whereas several levels below people attended to their criminal business. _Howironic_, Qui-Gon mused, _that the Jedi teach to not live in the past… _Sometimes he wondered how people who spent their day meditating in their crepuscular chambers could guard the peace in a galaxy which was bustling with life. He wondered whether they had the _right_ to interfere in foreign matters if they kept themselves locked off like that.

When the thick driblets dropped on Qui-Gon's face, he understood why Anakin worshipped rain so dearly. He saw the beauty of the rain. The blurred, many-coloured lights of nocturnal Coruscant. The puddles on the landing surface, in which rain drops hit like myriads of tiny darts. The drumming of the drops on the wings of a nearby parked speeder.

"Come on!" Qui-Gon lifted Anakin up on his shoulders and went round in circles together with him.

"_Yippee!!!_"

From under a roofed-over construction Obi-Wan observed the hustle and bustle with a look of deep scepticism. Finally, Qui-Gon felt a little dizzy from going round in circles all the time. He placed Anakin on his own feet again and leaned back exhaustedly against a speeder. Anakin, however, was nowhere near exhaustion. He ran towards Obi-Wan, seized his hand and tried to pull him out from under the roofing.

"Obi-Wan, come on, you have to go into the rain!"

"I have to?"

"Yes, because it's so amazing!"

Protesting continuously, Obi-Wan reluctantly let himself be dragged along by Anakin. He threw Qui-Gon a desperate and help seeking glance. Qui-Gon could not help but laugh. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. Next moment he was being sprayed by water as Anakin jumped into a puddle next to him. Obi-Wan tried to keep a dignified attitude and Qui-Gon laughed still more. Obi-Wan looked daggers at him but when Qui-Gon could not stop laughing, Obi-Wan finally had to grin reluctantly too. Without prior notice he stomped into a particularly big puddle and Anakin got hit full force.

"Whoops." Surprised, Anakin blinked some water out of his eyes. Then he started a counterattack and soon the two of them were jumping wildly into the puddles in order to shower each other. Qui-Gon had seldom seen Obi-Wan so boisterous. Qui-Gon took a deep breath. The rain smelled fresh and spicy. It purged the Coruscanti air of its typical dirty consistence of exhaust gas and electro smog, and it washed away all the dust. Still laughing, Qui-Gon put his head back and closed his eyes. He relished the sensation of the wet strands of hair, which stuck to his face, and the trickles running down his cheeks. The drumming of the rain drops drowned out every other sound. The low humming of the Coruscanti traffic, the piercing squeals from Anakin and Obi-Wan, their battle cries and the insults thrown at each other (Qui-Gon could not understand the precise words but he got the general idea). This was the Living Force to Qui-Gon. Nothing extraordinary. No complicated and strict rules designed for a privileged minority. No restrictions. Something as simple as rain. Just Life.


	6. Anakin's 11th Birthday

**I don't know what's wrong with my email-account. I don't receive any messages from FFnet at all anymore: Neither review-alerts nor private messages nor notification that I've posted a new chapter. So, if anyone from you has tried to send me a private message and I didn't reply – don't be mad at me (because I didn't receive anything). That's the thing about computers… I just don't understand them.**

**Thanks again to my reviewers!**

TamsynDell **and **allesrosa: **I've already sent you a review-reply (well, I've tried to do it anyway, I hope you received it…), so I won't repeat things here. **

Charie: **Thank you so much! I'm very relieved that there are actually readers who enjoy the relationships, lol**

Jedi Knight 13: **I love your reviews! You always note what I tried to say with the chapter!**

Geri K: **Thank you very much for your lovely review! Yes, Obi-Wan has realized that having a little fun sometimes is not against the Jedi-code.**

_One year later_

It was late in the evening. Anakin was sitting in the living-room of the apartment he shared with Qui-Gon. He was working on his homework for Galactic History. But he only did it half-heartedly because actually he was waiting for Qui-Gon. He had been summoned to a Council meeting. That had been three hours ago and he still was not back. Anakin sighed. He thought History was pretty boring and he hated written homework. What he preferred was action: lightsabre-practice, exercises in handling the Force and, self-evidently, the training in the flying simulator. Dry figures and facts were no use to him. Qui-Gon shared this distaste (though, of course, he constantly mentioned the importance of knowing the past in order to learn lessons from it for the present) and that was why, from time to time, he gave Anakin some helpful hints as to where he could find essential information, which shortened Anakin's working time. This was another thing Anakin was waiting for. Qui-Gon's help would be truly welcome.

Finally, Qui-Gon returned.

"That took some time", Anakin greeted his Master.

"Sometimes the Council tends to express themselves a little circuitously", Qui-Gon replied.

"Was it something important?"

"The Council has given me an assignment to go on a mission. It is-"

"A mission!" Anakin interrupted him enthusiastically. "At last! That's great, where are we going?" Anakin could not wait to go on his first real mission. Temple-training, which had been a lot of fun to him at the beginning, started to bore him gradually. It was not very diversified and it did not meet his expectations of life as a Jedi: Exciting adventures to faraway worlds, fast spaceships, to help oppressed beings…

"There is a snag", Qui-Gon slowed down Anakin's enthusiasm. "You can't accompany me."

"What?" Anakin stared incredulously at his Master. "Why?"

"It's a diplomatic mission to a planet called Bregon. The inhabitants know me; I've once been there before. That's the only reason why they have agreed to negotiations and they don't want to speak to anyone else."

"But I'm just a Padawan! I can't do anything to them or something like that! And I won't disturb the negotiations, I promise! Please, Master!"

"I wouldn't mind you to come along with me but alas it's not my decision", Qui-Gon said regretfully.

Disappointed Anakin dropped his shoulders. "When are you leaving?" he asked.

"Tomorrow. The mission is scheduled to take one week. However, one can never be sure of that. But I think I will be back in a month at the latest. In the meantime Obi-Wan will take care for you."

"_What?_" If Anakin had thought things could not get worse, he had been utterly mistaken. Although Obi-Wan had never called him "slave" again, their relationship was anything but good. To be more precise: Anakin loathed Obi-Wan. He never openly displayed his dislike, though – for Qui-Gon's sake – but his mood always reached an all-time low when Obi-Wan called at theirs. In Anakin's opinion he did that far too often, anyway. Most of the time, the young Jedi-Knight ignored him completely and in case he paid regard to Anakin, he did it because he found fault in him. And Obi-Wan _always _found something to criticise Anakin for. Obi-Wan said nothing to him but "Hello", "Goodbye" and some lessons. In short, Obi-Wan was the most unfriendly Jedi Anakin had ever met. Even Master Windu was more bearable.

"Does he really have to?" Anakin asked Qui-Gon. "I can take care for myself for a few days. I mean, I'm almost eleven now."

"I'm sure you could do that but I want you to learn something."

Anakin pulled a face. "Yes, but why Obi-Wan of all people? Why can't it be Bant Eerin or Siri Tachi, Kit Fisto, Adi Gallia or Plo Koon or… Master Yoda! There are loads of other Jedi who could teach me."

"Most of the Jedi you named are on the Council – they wouldn't have any time left for your training. I think it is very nice from Obi-Wan's part that he agreed to teach you."

"But surely there's someone else…", Anakin started again.

"I do not want to leave you to anyone", Qui-Gon explained severely, "and there is no one I trust more than Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"He _hates _me", Anakin moaned.

"That's nonsense", Qui-Gon argued. "He's a Jedi and Jedi don't hate. You know that, don't you?"

"Well, then he's a bad Jedi, obviously", Anakin mumbled grudgingly.

"Obi-Wan a bad Jedi?" Qui-Gon shook his head slightly amused. "He's probably a much better Jedi than I am. You can learn very much from him. I'm sure the two of you will have a lot of fun together."

The words echoed tauntingly in Anakin's mind. Obi-Wan and fun! That was like day and night. Probably Obi-Wan did not even know the word "fun". "I'd like to know how this is going to work – to have fun with Obi-Wan", Anakin shared his thoughts with Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon sighed deeply. "I admit that Obi-Wan is a bit difficult at times but I wished you would at least make an effort to like him."

"I've tried very hard but it just doesn't help", Anakin complained. "I'd like to know _one single reason_ to like him. Why do you like him so much, anyway?"

Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows. "Does it need a reason to love someone?" Anakin shrugged hesitantly. "And besides, there are many good reasons to like Obi-Wan.", Qui-Gon added.

"One reason would do", Anakin said softly but Qui-Gon heard it nevertheless.

"I know that you love Obi-Wan too – somewhere deep down from the bottom of your heart", Qui-Gon said kindly.

"What?!" Anakin exclaimed scandalized. "Obi-Wan is a stinking bantha-ass!"

"Obi-Wan has hurt you", Qui-Gon proceeded, "and that's why you've built up a defensive wall around yourself and you've persuaded yourself that you hate Obi-Wan and that he is stupid anyway. Because it hurts so much more to be hurt by those you love than by those you hate."

Anakin could only shake his head in disbelief. "That's rubbish…"

"I sensed a strong bond between you in the Force."

"I've never heard anything as crazy as this… a bond between Obi-Wan and me, honestly! And even if it was true – then the Force has played a nasty joke but _I_ will not play along with it!"

When Anakin was in bed at last, he was briefly toying with the idea of running away. Just packing his things and sneaking secretly out of the Temple at night, grabbing a neat Jedi-Starfighter and flying away to freedom. But he only toyed _briefly_ with this idea. There were so many reasons speaking against it. He did not want to give up his life as a Jedi for he had just started it and he still had so much to learn. He did not want to disappoint Qui-Gon. His Master believed in him, considered him as the _Chosen One_. Also, Anakin did not want to leave Qui-Gon. He had never had a father – until the day Qui-Gon had freed him from slavery on Tatooine.

So, enough reasons speaking against just running away. And there was only one reason to do it: The queasy feeling in Anakin's stomach, when he thought of the following weeks he was forced to spend with Obi-Wan. What was worst was that Obi-Wan was even to move into their quarters as long as Qui-Gon was away. But that could not be changed. So Anakin was just going to try to behave very carefully in order to not annoy Obi-Wan too much. Because otherwise the two (or more) weeks were going to be very long weeks.

The funny feeling in Anakin's stomach returned the next morning when he was standing at the hangar-deck to say goodbye to Qui-Gon.

"Take care, Padawan", Qui-Gon told him and smiled encouragingly at him.

"You better take care", Anakin retorted. "After all it's _you_ who's going off on mission. I don't know what could happen to me as long as I'm in the Temple."

Qui-Gon grinned. "You're right. Ok then, I'll take care. May the Force be with you."

"May the Force be with you, Master."

Anakin took his time for his way back. He was not particularly hurried to face Obi-Wan. When he entered their apartment, Obi-Wan was already there and was making himself at home.

"Good morning, Obi-Wan", Anakin greeted politely.

"Good morning."

_Neutral or slightly friendly_, Anakin quickly analysed Obi-Wan's tone. About a minute Anakin was just standing there watching Obi-Wan read something on his datapad. Finally he said: "I'm having classes with Master Tan'leg in a moment." He waited a moment but when he received no reaction whatsoever from Obi-Wan he added somewhat lamely: "So, I'm going now."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes. See you later."

"See you later", Anakin replied and quickly dashed off. As soon as he had closed the door behind him he took a deep breath. Until now, things had gone quite well, he told himself.

All in all it could have been worse. At least Anakin had imagined it to be worse. He did his very best: He was polite, decent and tried to do everything right. Of course, Obi-Wan still found enough things to criticise Anakin for and the lessons were inevitable but Anakin had the feeling Obi-Wan, too, tried to make the best of the time they were forced to spend with each other. The third day he started a conversation with Anakin, that is a conversation which was not limited to the most necessary things but just a conversation in order to talk to each other and to show a little interest in each other.

"What were your classes like, today?"

"It was good."

"So, which subjects did you have?"

"Economics with Master Kayita."

"And what was it like?"

It was a totally irrelevant conversation and if Qui-Gon had asked that question, Anakin would have complained about Master Kayita and about her giving them too much homework and being unfair in class… But it was not Qui-Gon, who had asked that question, but Obi-Wan. So Anakin just enumerated the topics they had learned about today. Soon he and Obi-Wan were discussing advantages and disadvantages of free trade. It was almost like an adult-conversation: very serious and about pretty boring things but afterwards Anakin had the impression he had learned more from this conversation than from Master Kayita's classes. Actually, Anakin learned very much from Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan was much stricter than Qui-Gon and often he drove Anakin to exhaustion ("A Jedi must not let his body restrict his mind."). In addition to that, Anakin was much more careful with his homework, much more conscientious with his exercises and much more attentive of everything Obi-Wan said. This all paid off and Anakin himself noticed how he got better day after day. The fourth day Obi-Wan gave him some praise. The fifth day Obi-Wan even made a little joke. It was not exceptionally funny but Anakin laughed, nonetheless, on principles of comity. In short, their relationship changed for the better day after day and both of them got more relaxed in the company of each other. This went so far that, at the tenth day, when Obi-Wan asked him why he was being so nervous and did not focus, Anakin admitted: "It's my birthday today."

"Ah. Happy birthday. So, how old are you now?"

"Eleven."

"Good. Then, let's say, because today is your birthday, you may choose what we're going to practise this afternoon."

Anakin was a little taken aback but very pleased about this offer (or should he rather call it a _birthday present_?) and he did not need much time to contemplate: "Lightsabre-practise!"

"Ok. But self evidently you have to focus all the same. If a Rodian attacks you he will not be considerate of your birthday."

Anakin nodded dutifully.

All in all, it was a good birthday. Obi-Wan complimented him again during lightsabre-practise and in the evening he even allowed him to watch a movie with exciting space battles on holo-net (of course not before he had made sure Anakin had _carefully _finished _all_ of his homework).

Anakin was very satisfied when he lay in bed this evening. Until a _bang_ against his window made him jump.


	7. The Will of the Force

**Sorry it took me so long for this update. This chapter is rather long (I'm afraid you have to wait a long time for the next chapter because it's even longer…) and then my computer rebelled again. And sorry for that stupid cliffhanger. It was just important to change the POV at that moment ;-) I hope this chapter does not disappoint you because it was definitely _not_ Darth Sidious whose spacecraft crashed into Anakin's window, lol. **

Jedi Knight 13: **Excellent review again, lol. You're right, as long as Qui-Gon is not there, there is no need for their sibling rivalry. And they are good for each other. I'm looking forward to your next review :-)**

Charie: **Thanks again! Well, you _could _call it action… no, I don't think it's action yet. But I can promise there will be _two _lightsabre duels in the last chapter. But you'll have to wait for this a little longer ;-) **

Tamsyn Dell: **I'm glad I'm not the only one with this review-alert-problem ;-) But today I just received some reviews of last week. So did you possibly receive my message by now? If you didn't I will try to write it again ;-) **

Geri K: **Thank you!!! I wouldn't say that Obi-Wan is a better teacher than Qui-Gon in general (I think Qui-Gon was just the perfect teacher for Obi-Wan) but I agree that he is indeed a very good teacher to Anakin. I think Qui-Gon and Anakin have some similar character traits and that's probably the reason why Obi-Wan can teach Anakin certain things better, for example discipline. Whether Anakin acknowledges this… hmm, we'll see ;-)**

Hurotias: **A new rewiever, yippee! Thank you very much! I also like Qui-Gon very much. However, this story is not so much about Qui-Gon (he is not the main character) but rather about his importance on Obi-Wan's and Anakin's lives. I hope you'll like how things continue :-) **

Obi-Wan was just going to bed when Anakin burst (without knocking!) into his, or rather Qui-Gon's, room.

"Obi-Wan, you have to come quickly! I think a bird is dying!" Anakin shouted desperately.

Obi-Wan repeated this message inside his mind. _A. Bird. Is. Dying. _He had not misheard. Was there a spacecraft called "Bird" maybe? Or did Anakin refer to some winged species?

"He's crashed into my window!" Anakin moaned. "And now he's lying on the ground and he's only breathing very feebly and there's blood coming out of his beak! Please, Obi-Wan, you have to save him!"

"Alright then. Lead me there", Obi-Wan agreed because otherwise Anakin would not stop pestering him. Anakin headed off quickly and Obi-Wan had to hurry to follow him. They reached a wide inner courtyard of the Temple one floor below. A tiny, trembling orange ball of feathers lay on the stone slabs. It was…a bird. A Mallah-squab, of which there were many in the Temple.

"Can you do something for him?" Anakin asked anxiously.

Obi-Wan knelt down next to the bird and surveyed it more closely. The small button eyes stared fixedly up into the sky. A thin trickle of dark blood dribbled out of its beak onto the pale brown slabs. Obi-Wan reached for the Force and sensed the bird's dim aura, which was getting weaker and weaker and was dissolving into the structures of the Force.

"What's the matter?" Anakin asked nervously.

"It's dying", Obi-Wan answered regretfully.

"But then – you can save him, can't you?" Anakin looked at him full of trust.

Obi-Wan regretted that he must destroy this trust. "No", he said plainly.

"But… Why…? You're a Jedi-Knight!" Anakin said desperately.

"That does not mean I'm almighty", Obi-Wan made it clear.

"Qui-Gon-", Anakin began.

"Qui-Gon couldn't save it either", Obi-Wan cut him off more fiercely than he had intended. "Even the best healers couldn't help it now. Not even Master Yoda. This is the course of matter", he continued more gently. "To wax and wane. We can do nothing but leave it to the Will of the Force when a life begins and when it ends."

"Then the Will of the Force is just stupid!" Anakin broke out defiantly.

Obi-Wan felt himself get angry again. Now Anakin was clearly once again the spoilt brat who believed everything had to play by his rules – even the Will of the Force. "The Will of the Force is _not _stupid", Obi-Wan said painfully restrained. "And I do not want to hear you say something like this ever again, do you understand me? I don't mind you saying that you cannot always understand the Will of the Force or that sometimes you have difficulties in following it or that sometimes it seems cruel to you or anything. But I don't want to hear you saying ever again that the Will of the Force is _stupid_, understood?"

"But the bird is still so small", Anakin said in a squeaky voice. "Maybe tonight he has flown out of his nest for the first time. Then why is it the Will of the Force that he dies?"

This conciliated Obi-Wan again. He was touched by Anakin's concern for this little bird. Maybe this was the first time Anakin was directly confronted with death. This was a lesson Qui-Gon should teach him. Certainly Qui-Gon could have done it better.

"The ways of the Force are often difficult to comprehend", Obi-Wan said. He congratulated himself sarcastically in his mind for this statement. It was a standard clause if you did not know an answer to a question. If you searched for an explanation. Then the blame could always be put on the Force. And though naturally Obi-Wan knew it was true, it would not help or comfort Anakin, a boy, who had heard of the existence of the Force only a year before.

"So the bird will die", Anakin said downheartedly.

"He has such grave head injuries that it will be a release to him to leave all his pain behind", Obi-Wan said soothingly.

"He's in pain? Can't you do anything for him? Something with the Force?" Obi-Wan's trying to comfort Anakin had done nothing but make him suffer more at the thought that the bird was suffering from great pain. Obi-Wan would be able to ease the wounded bird's pain but… was it right to use the Force under such circumstances? But then, why should it be wrong? Just because it was an animal, a little bird? If one could save him from his anguish, it surely had to be right…? Obi-Wan reached for the Force and manipulated the bird's consciousness slightly. Through the Force he sent him calming and soothing waves. If it had not been for the blood running out of the beak it could have looked as though the bird was just sleeping peacefully. Finally the little heart stopped pounding at all. Anakin must have sensed it too because only shortly afterwards he asked softly: "And now?"

Obi-Wan sighed. Simply hastily burying it in the earth was apparently out of question. "Have you ever been at a Jedi's funeral?" he asked Anakin. Anakin shook his head. Obi-Wan groaned inwardly. Somehow this had been clear. "For the Jedi it's customary to burn the corpse", he explained. "It symbolizes the mind freeing itself from the dead body in order to pass into the Force. But of course it is not necessary to burn the body for the mind to pass into the Force. It's a mere symbol. So, if you'd like, we could burn the bird." Anakin nodded, his lips pressed tightly together. "Good. Then go collect some wood."

Eagerly Anakin got down to work and in no time at all they had built up a pyre for the bird. Obi-Wan put it onto the pyre (Anakin did not want to touch the dead animal), set the wood on fire and stood aside. Anakin knelt down in front of the smoking heap. Silent tears were running down his cheeks.

Suddenly Obi-Wan heard footsteps behind them. It was Master Windu. All at once Obi-Wan felt very silly. It had to look absolutely ridiculous: Anakin knelt in front of a _tiny_ funeral pyre with a _bird_ on top of it, and a grown up Jedi-Knight stood behind in _reverent silence_. Obi-Wan tried to move in front of the "pyre" in order that Master Windu could not spot it. The situation was really awkward and he wondered why, in the galaxy, he had got involved with something like that. Of course he could not hide the pyre from Master Windu. The glow of the fire, the smell of smoke and his emotions betrayed him. But Master Windu did not comment on it. He just _smiled_ briefly. Obi-Wan had never seen Mace Windu smile before. This just made everything still more embarrassing. _Hopefully he's not laughing at me…_

Master Windu gave him a little nod and then walked on. Obi-Wan waited patiently until the fire had burned down and Anakin got up again. Meanwhile, his tears had dried.

"Now you really must go to bed", Obi-Wan told him.

Anakin nodded and came along without arguing.

* * *

Obi-Wan had been training Anakin for almost three weeks now. Contrary to his original expectations, he had to admit that he enjoyed it more and more. When Qui-Gon had asked him to care for the boy he had not been enthusiastic at all. He had simply agreed to it for Qui-Gon's sake. But then he had quickly realized Anakin was not the "wild" boy from Tatooine anymore (well, from time to time there were little hints that Anakin was not a "normal" Jedi). Anakin was above-average talented (sometimes Obi-Wan almost found it scary how many things the boy was able to do at his young age without much of an effort) and he was a quick learner. What he was told once, he kept in mind. He was eager to learn and bright, and though he had been distanced towards Obi-Wan and had tacitly acknowledged every lesson during the first days, he was now asking more and more – mostly intelligent – questions. Obi-Wan had never thought it possible, but he almost started to like the boy. Perhaps it was because Qui-Gon was not here. So Obi-Wan was not reminded day after day that Anakin had taken his place. And thus he and Anakin were not competitors, who had to fight each other to win Qui-Gon's favour.

Today it was lightsabre-training again. Anakin was particularly gifted in this discipline. He was fast, skilful and he let the Force guide him almost like a professional. With a feeling similar to pride, Obi-Wan observed Anakin perform a technique Obi-Wan had taught him two days ago. He had really practised assiduously.

"Well done", Obi-Wan praised him and Anakin beamed – as he always did when being praised. "And now you can combine it with a backhander – like this – then you spin around and _wham_!" Obi-Wan demonstrated it. Anakin watched intently and then tried to do it himself. While Anakin whirled wildly through the room, the chrono-display above caught Obi-Wan's eye: They had been training for more than three hours. It was time for Anakin to have a little –

"Ouch." A stinging pain run through Obi-Wan's wrist and his lightsabre fell clattering to the floor.

"I'm sorry", Anakin said shocked. "I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't pay attention…"

"Well, I didn't either", Obi-Wan replied and surveyed his wrist more closely. A little burn, nothing serious.

"Does it hurt badly?" Anakin asked concernedly.

"No. It will disappear in a few days."

"Good…"

Obi-Wan picked up his lightsabre again. "But don't you tell Qui-Gon you disarmed me, or any such stories."

Anakin grinned. "We'll see."

Obi-Wan grinned back. "I'm warning you…"

"Qui-Gon once told me I, um…you…um, very deep down from the bottom of my heart, I mean…" Anakin groaned. "Rats! That sounds so silly!" he exclaimed in frustration.

"I think I know what you want to say", Obi-Wan said.

Anakin looked at him in surprise. "Do you?"

"Yes. Qui-Gon told me the same once."

"Ah." Anakin hesitated. "It's not true, is it?"

"I don't think so."

Anakin nodded satisfied. "Can we go on?" he asked eagerly.

"Don't you need a break?"

"No, I'm not tired yet."

"Very well then. Let's fight a little duel. And you try to integrate what I've shown you earlier."

And soon the fight started. Blades whirled through the air and clashed hissing. Obi-Wan was pleased to see Anakin employ the newly learned technique very well. Of course Obi-Wan did not fight him like he would fight a real opponent – otherwise the duel would be over in a few seconds. He granted Anakin time to recover, to correct his foot positioning or to change his grip. Nevertheless it was a good and fluent fight and both of them were highly focussed. After some time Anakin tired more and more and at last Obi-Wan brought their trainings duel to an end by encircling Anakin with a little help of a deception tactic and putting his blade at Anakin's neck. Someone behind them started clapping. Surprised, Obi-Wan turned around – he had not noticed anyone watching them – but Anakin was faster.

"Qui-Gon!" He gave a very loud and very un-jedi-like cry of rejoicing, dropped his lightsabre to the floor and threw himself in a very un-jedi-like way into his Master's arms.

"Ani!" Qui-Gon had to laugh in face of Anakin's full-mouthed welcome. "I'm glad to see you again, too."

"You told me the mission would last only two weeks."

"Well, that's not the entire truth", Qui-Gon said smiling benignly. "I told you it would probably last longer because normally missions _never_ go according to plan, do you agree, Obi-Wan? Hello, by the way."

Obi-Wan grinned at those fond memories of his time as Qui-Gon's Padawan. "Hello, Qui-Gon." (In the meantime he had got used to not call him "Master" any longer.) "I'm afraid I can only agree conditionally. My latest, single missions went always according to plan. However, I can't remember a mission together with you where things went orderly. But honestly, Qui-Gon, you're always doing _everything_ in order to make a mission go irregular. Dragging along any beings, meddling in things which are none of your business and violating _every single_ instruction from the Council."

Qui-Gon smiled somewhat ruefully. "You see, I must not be sent on a mission on my own", he referred to Anakin. "It's high time you get old enough to accompany me and sort things out."

"I _am_ old enough!" Anakin protested. "I'm eleven in case you have forgotten." He pouted a bit.

Qui-Gon gave him a little clap on the back. "Of course I have _not_ forgotten that. You know, I really wanted to be back at your birthday but that's difficult if one is being captured by mad Bregonians."

"What?" Immediately Anakin pricked up his ears again. "Really? That's absolutely crazy! You have to tell me!"

"Later. How about changing your clothes first? You're quite sweaty. It looked like a pretty hard duel. From what I've seen, you've learned a lot."

"Yeah, maybe." Suddenly Anakin laughed. "Sure, I'm really, really good! I even disarmed Obi-Wan once!"

"Excuse me?" Obi-Wan said incredulously. "You're really telling him this nonsense now?"

"I disarmed him, really", Anakin addressed Qui-Gon.

"That didn't count", Obi-Wan insisted.

"Ah! And why's that?"

"I was distracted."

"But your opponent doesn't ask you if it suits you now before he attacks you." Anakin threw Obi-Wan a mischievous look. He had cited Obi-Wan with his words. That was one lesson Obi-Wan had taught him when Anakin had complained that Obi-Wan did not grant him enough time to recover between some strikes.

"Ok, ok, you disarmed me", Obi-Wan had to admit consequently.

"I told you so!" Anakin triumphed.

"Well, that's a true reason to be proud of you." Amused, Qui-Gon looked from one to the other. "After all, it's definitely not easy to disarm Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon pulled something out of his cloak and handed it to Anakin. "So it's lucky I brought you this as a belated birthday present, as you're such a talented swordsman."

"Wow, that's a lightsabre-handle!"

"Yes, I thought you might need one when we're going to Ilum next week."

Anakin gaped. "To Ilum?! Does that mean – does that mean I'm allowed to build my own lightsabre?"

"If you want to…"

"_Of course!!!_" Anakin threw his arms around Qui-Gon's neck once more.

Obi-Wan had to restrain himself very hard from protesting. He thought Anakin was still too young to face Ilum. Its visions were frightening and distressing and sometimes they caused permanent damage. But Qui-Gon had to decide. Qui-Gon was Anakin's Master. Apart from that, it bothered Obi-Wan that Qui-Gon had brought Anakin a birthday present. Normally, a Master gave his Padawan a present only at his 13th birthday. And it bothered Obi-Wan that, as soon as Qui-Gon had arrived, he had become second-rate. No word of thanks for his playing Anakin's babysitter for three weeks. But no, a lightsabre-handle obviously was far more important than three weeks of teaching.

* * *

When Obi-Wan entered his own little apartment he suddenly realized just how empty it was. It was strangely lifeless. He thought it was odd that it had never bothered him before. He did not know what to do with his sudden free time. _Focus, Obi-Wan Kenobi_, he told himself. _You're acting very weirdly. You better get some meditation done. _And so he did. As always, the Force was very gentle to him and helped to ease his strange mood a little. It was just going to take a bit of time to get back to his normal life.

A few hours later Qui-Gon dropped in. "That's lovely", he commented on the pyramid of Muja-fruits which Obi-Wan had built in his unusual boredom.

Obi-Wan felt his cheeks redden a bit. "Help yourself."

"Oh, but I don't want to destroy it."

Obi-Wan sat down at the little table opposite Qui-Gon. "So, what brought you here?"

Qui-Gon finally took one of the Muja-fruits. "Have you heard of the latest rumours?" he asked offhandedly.

Obi-Wan wondered if Qui-Gon wanted to test his patience or which other meaning was behind this silly talk. "Which exactly do you mean?"

"I've just spoken to Luminara Unduli. There has been a Council meeting today. Luvia had startling news."

Obi-Wan tensed at the mentioning of the name. Why had Qui-Gon have to bring up that topic now? "What kind of news?"

"She says she has information on the Sith. They plan to rise again and create a new order."

Obi-Wan frowned in confusion. "Excuse me, but did you just say the _Sith_? They disappeared a thousand years ago, that's Galactic History. The Sith-holocrons in our archives are the only relics of their religion. How could someone possibly lay their hands on it?"

"Luvia says it is probable that a few of the Sith survived the Sith-Wars and have been in hiding since."

Obi-Wan did not know what to say to this. He wondered why Qui-Gon told him this. What did he want him to say? Obi-Wan drummed his fingers rhythmically on the table. "So… what does the Council think of this?"

"From all Luminara told me there has been quite a dispute."

"They didn't believe her?"

"Most of them didn't."

"And…?"

Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows. "What _and_?"

"Well, why should Luvia Glndetrtshr of all people know about it?" Obi-Wan said cautiously.

Qui-Gon smiled a tad. "I'm sure you're the only one who's able to pronounce this name."

Obi-Wan's drumming on the table got a bit fiercer. "Has the Council come to a an agreement?"

"No. Well, not to an official agreement at least. I bet there is an unofficial one, though."

"I see." Obi-Wan did not want to delve further into this topic. He cleared his throat and Qui-Gon understood the hint.

"I wanted to thank you for taking care for Anakin that well", he changed the topic.

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows. "Why are you so sure that I took care for him _well_?"

"Oh, that's simple: Anakin did not complain to me."

"Ah. And that's supposed to mean something?"

"You could say that. Normally he's complaining non-stop about all of his teachers."

Obi-Wan restrained from saying "Is he?" He felt very stupid all of a sudden. Anakin had always told _him_ that his teachers were "nice" and that their lessons were "interesting".

"Have you ever thought about taking a Padawan?" Qui-Gon disrupted his musings.

Obi-Wan remained silent. Sometimes he thought Qui-Gon knew him too well… Yes, he had thought about it, particularly during the last days. His feelings when training Anakin… The delight about the progress of his student, the joy of teaching, the trust which was going to establish between Master and Padawan after some time… Yes, it surely would be nice to have a Padawan at one's side. And yet he was still reluctant. He himself did not know why. He knew just one thing for sure: He just could not do it – go there and announce he looked for a Padawan, watch the young Jedi fight and then decide who to take and tell him or her "I will take you as my Padawan" and tell the others he would not train them. But there was more to it… the idea of spending so many years in the company of one of those young Jedi – most of them were strangers to him – frightened him. He knew he would never be able to give as much to one of those children as Qui-Gon had given to him. Now he was trying to find words which would convince Qui-Gon. "I thought about it, you know. The time together with Anakin showed me that maybe I would like to have a Padawan. It's just… I don't know if I'm capable of doing it. It's laden with such heavy responsibility…"

"Naturally this is so. To bear the responsibility for the development of a young being is an enormous task. Most Jedi-Knights are afraid of it and have to confront certain fears when accepting a Padawan for the first time. Well, some suffer from these problems even the second or third time." Qui-Gon smiled at his former Padawan. Obi-Wan understood what he alluded to: Qui-Gon himself had hesitated for a long time before he had agreed to take Obi-Wan as his Padawan. "But you have to be aware of the fact that you don't have to carry this burden all by yourself. The whole Jedi-Temple is fully behind you. Yoda is always ready to support you. And if you have questions or doubts you are always welcome to ask me."

"Yes, I know." Obi-Wan sighed. "You always taught me to listen to my feelings. I just don't _feel _ready. I'm afraid my feelings are very clear concerning this."

"Well, as long as they're honest as well…"

"They are."

"That's perfectly ok then. You're just going to wait a little longer. I'm sure you will realize yourself when the time is ready."


	8. A Very Bad Feeling

**Oh, I'm proud of myself ;-) This is the longest chapter so far and I spent seven hours today to translate and type it ;-) Plus, in this chapter something is going to happen. **

**I've just discovered the "stats"-link (where I can see how many people read my story) and I'm very enthusiastic about it. I'm always checking ("oh, cool 10 readers more for chapter 7" lol). I didn't expect so many people to read my story. But hey, why don't you review? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase! Just take a little time and type three words or whatever because it will make me _very_ happy **

Geri K: **Thank you!!!!!!!! I also liked the part with Mace Windu very much, he is just so cool ;-) And Obi-Wan would make a really good teacher, even though he doesn't feel like it. He felt very helpless and was afraid he could not cope with that situation (Anakin and the bird…) and thought Qui-Gon could do it so much better but instinctively he did everything just right. And he felt so awkward when Mace appeared, lol, but he stayed for Anakin's sake and that's very, very nice of him, isn't it?  **

TamsynDell: **I have to admit your last review really surprised me because… well, I didn't mean to write Obi-Wan as a jealous ex-apprentice in this chapter, quite the contrary… hmm, perhaps I should never have mentioned the word "jealousy" in the first place (I think I'm going to replace it in my summary, lol), perhaps then it wouldn't be so striking… Maybe, maybe Obi-Wan was just a little, little bit jealous when Qui-Gon gave Anakin a birthday present. If you refer to the part where Obi-Wan thinks that he is "second-rate" it rather means that he is second-rate now in _Anakin_'s opinion because Qui-Gon has returned and so Anakin does not need such a "strict" and "unfriendly" teacher like Obi-Wan anymore (that's what Obi-Wan thinks Anakin thinks about him…) A lot of my characterization and ideas for this story stem from my understanding of Matthew Stover's "Revenge of the Sith" (I love that book!!!) but maybe it will only be obvious in the final chapters, sigh… Maybe Qui-Gon is spoiling Anakin a little bit… I see their relationship more like father-son while the relationship between Obi-Wan and Anakin is more like teacher-student. And when did Qui-Gon "slight" Obi-Wan?**

Jedi Knight 13: **Thanks! Obi-Wan is maturing and I just love him in that chapter (when he is embarrassed because Mace sees them, lol) He has realized that he cannot teach Anakin be just telling him some Jedi-platitudes, and he gets more critical and most of all honest with himself. He has time to grow in his role of a Jedi-Knight and a teacher (not like in the movies where one day he was a Padawan and the next day he was a Master). The sibling rivalry between them is now more like a fun game, nothing serious any longer, though they both still need approval (but who doesn't?)**

_A month later_

Already some days before, Anakin had felt something was wrong. He had tried to ignore that feeling, which had appeared for the first and most powerful time three days ago and which since then had never completely disappeared. He had tried to tell himself his unease was the after-effect of some admittedly really scary visions from a meditation session gone horribly wrong. But when a healer disrupted Anakin's and Qui-Gon's lightsabre-practice, Anakin knew immediately his feeling had something to do with it.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi had just returned from his mission." The still young healer squirmed awkwardly. "He has been lightly injured during his mission. Well, to be precise, he has been _severely_ injured. Qui-Gon, it seemed appropriate to us to inform you of this because as his former Master you are probably closest to him."

Out of the corner of his eyes Anakin saw Qui-Gon freeze. He himself felt an aching pain in his stomach. He deactivated his trainings-lightsabre with a low hiss. It seemed an eternity ago that he had got so angry when the Council still did not allow Qui-Gon to go with Anakin to Ilum.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Anakin suddenly demanded to know. "Is he _dead_?" Qui-Gon winced under the words but Anakin stared apprehensively at the healer, his heart pounding loudly.

"No, he is not dead", the healer finally said after a very long time. "At least he is not dead yet. I want to be honest with you: It does not look good."

All of a sudden Qui-Gon awoke from his paralysis. "I want to see him", he said in an oddly hoarse voice.

"Of course. I'll lead you there."

Anakin followed Qui-Gon and the healer. He had to run to keep up with his Master's long, quick strides. Meanwhile the healer explained: "He is unconscious and does not react to any impulses of his environment. He seems to have grave inner injuries but we don't know yet which exactly."

In the Med-Centre many people surrounded a bed where Obi-Wan was apparently lying. There were Obi-Wan's friends Garen Muln, Siri Tachi and Bant Eerin and also three healers. Garen Muln, who looked slightly shaky, stood aside for Qui-Gon. The blood drained from Qui-Gon's cheeks when he saw his former Padawan. Anakin only caught a quick glimpse of Obi-Wan. What he saw did not look good. Obi-Wan was lying unmoving on a stretcher, his face was pale and expressionless and his eyes were closed. A dirty bandage was wrapped around his head, which one of the healers was carefully removing right now. On doing so, she was muttering gruffly to herself: "They should've sent him straight here in the first place. If treated properly he would've been back on his feet in no time at all…"

"What are you saying?" Qui-Gon turned to her abruptly. "He was _not_ sent here at once?"

"No, the Kanaandah' treated him themselves before they informed the Council."

"The _Kanaandah'_?" Qui-Gon repeated incredulously. "He was on _Kanaanda_?"

The healer shrugged. "Yes."

"Why didn't his companions bring him straight back to the Temple?" Qui-Gon demanded to know.

"Well, he was alone on this mission-"

"He was _alone_?" Qui-Gon was really furious by now and he did not even make an effort to keep his voice down. "What is the Council thinking?! Sending such a _young_ Knight to _Kanaanda on his own_?! What are they thinking?!"

"The Council reacted immediately when the news of Kenobi's injury arrived", the healer objected. "Master Windu flew to Kanaanda to – "

"Master Windu flew there personally?! He knew about it? The whole Council knew about it? Why didn't they tell me? When did the news arrive? Yesterday? But no one thinks of informing _me_! Why should they? I'm only his Master after all! How long has he been here? One hour? Two hours? A day? All the others have already been here! Except for me! What would have happened if he'd died!? _I am his Master!_"

Anakin had never seen Qui-Gon that angry before. It terrified him. Qui-Gon's eyes were flaring and his long hair was flying wildly around. He looked really dangerous.

"Calm down, Qui-Gon", the healer said brusquely. "It's not as bad as it seems."

"It's not as bad as it seems?!"

"And stop repeating everything I say, alri-"

"I'm not in the mood for your jokes right now, ok?! Obi-Wan is dying because some idiots on the Council sent him on that mad mission! Because some fumblers from that backwoods planet _medicated_ him! Because some losers here can't even find out what's wrong with him! And no one tells _me_ about it! And this is supposed to be _not as bad as it seems_?" Qui-Gon was going completely berserk but the healer did not let herself be intimidated.

"Master Qui-Gon, you would help the patient and us healers doing our work much more if you just got out of here or at least stopped yelling. May I remind you that there are other patients next door for whom you should show a bit of consideration? Besides, you're blaming the wrong ones. We do our very best or at least we would be doing it if you didn't keep us from doing it. So, if you want to yell at someone, go to the Council."

"That's exactly what I'm gonna do!" His hair flying, Qui-Gon stormed out of the room.

"I'm coming with you!" Siri shouted and her eyes, which had been petrified to Obi-Wan's feet, blazed up.

"Poor Master Windu", the healer said. Her colleagues laughed and then went about their business.

Anakin was left with Bant Eerin and Garen Muln. Tears glittered in Bant's big, silver eyes.

"I've known him since I've been in the Temple", she said, her voice choking. She was speaking to herself and not to anyone in particular. "We've been friends for more than twenty years. I just can't believe he's not going to be around anymore."

Garen moved closer to her and took her hand in his. "Bant, Obi-Wan is not dead. The healers said he was strong. He's going to make it."

"You're right", Bant said and leaned against his shoulder.

Anakin felt very out of place next to the two mourning friends. He stared at his feet and tried to be as quiet as possible. A healer returned to give Obi-Wan an injection. She smiled encouragingly at Bant, Garen and Anakin. "I gave him something which will support his endogenous healing powers. Don't worry, it may take some time but your friend will certainly wake up again. He seems to be over the worst." Bant smiled gratefully. Then the healer left and so did Bant and Garen.

Anakin was left alone – without counting unconscious Obi-Wan. Hesitantly Anakin moved closer to the stretcher and observed the injured Jedi-Knight more closely.

"Heh?" Anakin waved his hand in front of Obi-Wan's rigid face. "Obi-Wan?" No kind of reaction. _Alright then_. Anakin shrugged. One could never know. Obi-Wan _might_ have played dead. One should always take everything into consideration. Obi-Wan's face was contorted. Was he suffering from pain? He had a whole lot of little injuries but these were only skin-deep and they were almost healed already. Even Anakin could recognize that. Probably he had been in a bacta-tank already. Anakin reached for the force and winced slightly when he met Obi-Wan's consciousness. He had expected it to be feeble and hardly sensible but it was very alive. However, right now it was focussed on one single perception only: very intense pain. Anakin remembered how Obi-Wan had eased the pain of the dying bird. Anakin had witnessed that operation in the Force. Combined with the things Qui-Gon had told him about the Jedi's healing powers, he had a vague idea how this was supposed to work. Maybe he was able to help Obi-Wan…

Anakin closed his eyes and waited. He did not do anything at all but just waited until his mind had cleared and he was ready. Soon he felt the gentle vibrations of the Force, which radiated from every object. In the Force everything looked so different from the things in the "real" world but at this moment the Force was the real world to Anakin. He let himself float in it and he slowly felt his way through Obi-Wan's body. The Force guided him to the part where the pain – brilliant yellow – radiated and pulsed throughout the body. A grave head injury. Anakin knew immediately what had to be done. It was plainly simple and obvious. Cautiously he touched Obi-Wan's head with his own mind. He released blockades and readjusted the complicated structure. It was like dissolving a knot and tying it anew. Like blowing sand out of a driving gear. Like scraping dirt out of a blocked pipe. Like putting together a puzzle. Like repairing a broken-down droid. Anakin felt Obi-Wan's mind relax gradually. Through the Force Anakin sent him warmth and calm. After that he felt something like a little answer: a faint knocking on his own mind.

Obi-Wan was breathing peacefully, his heartbeat was normal. The pain was gone. With an enormous exertion Anakin jerked out of his exceptional world and opened his eyes. It took him some time until he was fully back in the "normal" world and suddenly he felt terribly tired. He had never felt more exhausted and drained before in his life – neither during the slave work in the boiling heat on Tatooine nor during the hard training with Obi-Wan. Anakin fought the urge to just lay down right here on the floor to sleep and with his last ounce of strength dragged himself back to his room where he (still dressed and with his head on the wrong end of the bed) fell immediately into a deep and dreamless sleep.

* * *

The next morning Anakin slept until midday. This was strange because usually Qui-Gon woke him up early and then they meditated together. But today Qui-Gon was not here. He had never before left Anakin on his own without saying a word. As Anakin was going to be late anyway, he decided to cancel morning meditation. Also, there was no use to go to his classes now. Thus, Anakin made his way to the Med-Centre where he was sure to find Qui-Gon. He was right: Qui-Gon was just speaking to a healer when Anakin arrived.

"What do you mean, _he's fit and well_?" Qui-Gon asked brusquely. "Then he would hardly be lying in the Med-Centre, would he?"

"Of course you're right", the healer assured him quickly. "If the examination results say he's fit and well, it doesn't necessarily mean he's…well…_well._"

"Excuse me, but I can't quite follow your logic", Qui-Gon said sourly. "Is here anyone working with expert knowledge to whom I can speak?"

"Of course he _can't_ be well because else he wouldn't be unconscious", the healer continued patiently. "That just makes everything still more mysterious. We looked it up in the archives but there is no similar disease pattern, which fits his current state. It must be some rare disease or a new, still unknown virus."

"So??? What are we going to do now?" Patience and worry were written all over Qui-Gon's face.

"We're doing our best and that's all we can do", the healer said tiredly, who was seemingly sick of arguing with Qui-Gon. "We try to find out about similar cases, we're looking for antidotes and…well. I have to continue with my work now." He turned to leave.

Just now Qui-Gon noticed Anakin. "What are you doing here?" he asked not very kindly.

"I was looking for you, Master."

Qui-Gon ran a hand over his face. "Why aren't you in classes?"

"I've just got up…"

"Listen", Qui-Gon said harshly, "at the moment I really have other things to worry about than you getting to your classes in time. You're old enough to understand this. And you're also old enough to follow your timetable without my help."

"Yes, Master. I'm sorry… He's still not better, is he?"

Qui-Gon only shook his head in silence. Anakin moved to his Master's side and shoved his hand in Qui-Gon's huge hand. Qui-Gon squeezed it feebly. "I couldn't bear to lose him", he said in a fragile voice. "He's like a son to me."

Anakin felt helpless in face of his Master's desperation. He could not think of something better to say than: "He's certainly going to be alright."

"Yes", Qui-Gon replied dutifully.

"Have you eaten anything? Since yesterday, I mean", Anakin asked worriedly.

"At the moment I don't feel like eating, Ani." Qui-Gon sounded as though the mere thought of eating made him sick.

"It won't help Obi-Wan if you starve or break down", Anakin tried to convince him with reason. "I could bring you something to eat if you don't want to leave Obi-Wan alone."

"You're right, Padawan." Qui-Gon took a deep breath and tightened his shoulders. "But it's not necessary that you bring me something to eat. I'm sure Obi-Wan gets the best medical treatment possible here. Surely you haven't eaten as well, have you? Come on, let's go."

Relieved about his Master's change in mood Anakin made his way to the eating hall together with Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon did not eat much and he talked even less but Anakin was glad he ate and talked anyway. Unfortunately, then a Jedi-Knight joined them at their table and asked after Obi-Wan. So Qui-Gon was forced to give some short answers but the woman just kept on asking, she wanted to know how it had happened, why the healers could not do anything and, for the hundredth time, how Obi-Wan was. Anakin thought this Jedi-Knight was pretty stupid because, even though she constantly expressed her "sincere sympathy", she did not realize Qui-Gon wanted to be left alone and did not want to retell and relive things again and again.

"Excuse me." Qui-Gon got up abruptly. "I have to go to the Council right now."

"Sure." The Knight smiled. "Please keep me informed on Obi-Wan's wellbeing."

Without a further word Qui-Gon left.

"Oh dear…" The Jedi-Knight sat down next to Anakin. "He takes all this so much to heart..."

"Of course he does", Anakin said irritated. "Obi-Wan was Qui-Gon's Padawan. And they were – they _are_", he corrected himself quickly because he did not want to speak about Obi-Wan as if he was already dead, "very good friends. So it's just normal that Qui-Gon is worried. Do you have a Padawan?"

"No, unfortunately I haven't. I've been looking for one for quite some time but I haven't found anyone yet who fits to me. You know, the decision to train a Padawan has to be well thought-out. You have so much responsibility for a young being. I fear to do harm with a wrong decision."

"Oh", was all Anakin said to that. Qui-Gon had not contemplated long before he had decided to train him. However, Anakin was convinced he and Qui-Gon fitted perfectly to each other. Qui-Gon had said the Force had brought them together. So what could possibly go wrong then? Qui-Gon's decision to teach Anakin certainly had not done any harm.

It seemed as though the Jedi-Knight had read Anakin's mind. "Yes, I know, I'm a bit overly careful." She gave a pained smile. "Master Yoda says I should finally decide for a Padawan. But I want to do justice to my Padawan. Oh, I'm sure Masters like Qui-Gon know what they're doing. Qui-Gon has already successfully trained other Padawans before. But I've never had a Padawan. I want to do everything right."

"You're sounding almost like Obi-Wan", Anakin said grinning.

"Do I?" she said with a funny expression. Well, perhaps this funny expression stemmed from the big, ugly scar which covered the left half of her face. It looked as if a huge chunk of the cheek had been cut out. The Jedi-Knight involuntarily ran her fingers over it when she noticed Anakin's eyes on it.

"How did it happen?" Anakin asked curiously.

"In a lightsabre-fight. My opponent tried to behead me but he didn't succeed. Fortunately, Qui-Gon was able to save me."

"You worked together with Qui-Gon?"

"I would rather call it a fortunate coincidence that he was on the spot."

"Does it hurt?"

"What, the scar?" She laughed. "No, it's already older than three years. Unfortunately it couldn't be treated in time, that's why it looks so scary. It actually gives a youngling from the nursery the creeps."

Anakin looked more closely at the Jedi-Knight for the first time. Apart from the scar she had a handsome face framed by dark curls. Behind her ears there were sharp, black, curved horns. Anakin could not tell the colour of her eyes. They seemed to be changing from brown to yellow all the time.

"What's your name by the way?" he asked.

"Luvia Glndetrtshr. Just call me Luvia, no one's able to pronounce my last name anyway."

"Ok."

"Listen, Anakin, I can imagine the situation is not easy for you at the moment", Luvia said kindly. "Your Master is so worried about Obi-Wan and… well, you can always come to me if you feel like it."

Anakin did not go into it at all. "How do you know my name?" he asked bewildered.

"Anakin Skywalker, the _Chosen One_." She smiled gently but with her gaping scar it looked scary. "I guess everyone in the Temple has heard of you."

"I see." Anakin flushed a little. He still did not know how to handle this _Being-Chosen_-thing.

* * *

Obi-Wan did not awake that day. And he did not the next day. Nor the day after that. The healers still were at a loss what was wrong with him because they found no hints which indicated a disease. The people who had found Obi-Wan on Kanaanda had reported he had fallen out of a starfighter during a fight and then had crashed against a cliff. He should have injuries. But he had none. And thus he should not be unconscious. But he was. Without any reason. That was what worried the healers most. Because if there was no reason to be unconscious there possibly was no reason for him to wake up either.

Meanwhile, an unbidden thought was spreading more and more in Anakin's mind. He had tried to repress it but it returned again and again. _What if it's all my fault?_ Had possibly something gone wrong that evening when he had tried to ease Obi-Wan's pain? At that time he had been sure everything had worked out well but then why was Obi-Wan still unconscious? He had to tell the healers. Perhaps this piece of information could help them… _One more day. I'm going to wait just one more day. If he still won't have woken up by then, I'm going to tell Qui-Gon._

But Obi-Wan did not wake up the next day. Anakin delayed it but after dinner he just had to do it. They had decided to always eat in their quarters because Qui-Gon did not feel like answering non-stop the many questions of all the worried Jedi. When Qui-Gon returned from the kitchen where he had put their dishes into the washer, Anakin thought it was the right time.

"Master, I have to tell you something", he began nervously.

"Yes?" Qui-Gon seemed to sense Anakin's unease. "What is it?"

"I… I mean… Probably it's totally unimportant and it doesn't matter at all but…"

"Probably it does matter if it burdens you so much", Qui-Gon said gently. "You can tell me, Padawan."

Encouraged by Qui-Gon's words, Anakin finally managed to say it. "When Obi-Wan was injured I… I got somehow inside his head and I made his injury go away. I think. So, perhaps you could tell the healers and perhaps it might help them somehow." Anakin looked expectantly at Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon stared back utterly incredulously.

"You did….what?"

"I can't explain what happened exactly. I was just acting on a funny feeling. I think I was in his mind. Well, and his head was badly injured, you couldn't see that from the outside. The Force guided me and so I, um, dissolved the injury."

Suddenly Qui-Gon exploded. "YOU DID _WHAT_?!" he roared so loudly that Anakin jumped backwards in shock.

"I -"

"ARE YOU MAD?! YOU CAN'T JUST – YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HIM! PERHAPS YOU'VE DONE THAT! OR EVEN WORSE: HE WILL BE COMATOSE FOREVER! MAYBE HE'S SUFFERING FROM HORRIBLE VISIONS OR HE'S IN UNIMAGINABLE PAIN!"

"He's not in pain, I -"

_Smack!_

Anakin gave a horrified cry. He touched his cheek with trembling fingers. Qui-Gon had slapped him. Watto had slapped him thousands of times. With a whip, which hurt much more. But Watto had been his owner and Anakin a slave. Qui-Gon, however, was… a Jedi-Knight. Anakin's Master. And Anakin loved him like a father. His eyes wide in shock he looked up at Qui-Gon, whose voice turned over with rage.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU KNOW THAT, YOU ARROGANT BRAT! YOU CAN'T JUST DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO ANYONE JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE! EVEN THE BEST HEALERS DON'T SCAMP INTO THE MINDS OF THEIR PATIENTS BECAUSE IT COULD CAUSE IRREPARABLE DAMAGE! YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, EH? IT MEANS YOU'VE MADE CRAP OF OBI-WAN! IT MEANS YOU CAN NEVER PUT IT RIGHT! NEVER AGAIN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"But I just wanted to help him", Anakin said in a weepy voice. "I've just tried –"

"_Tried_?" Qui-Gon gave a humourless, insane laugh. "_Tried!_ But Obi-Wan's not a droid with which you can fiddle about, he's a LIVING BEING! If I'd only left you in that junk-shop!"

Anakin was sobbing loudly, tears were running down his face but Qui-Gon showed no mercy.

"When did you do it? How many days ago?" Anakin sobbed and choked and he was not able to get out an answer. "_When_?" Qui-Gon gripped him by the shoulders and shook him brutally. "WHEN DID YOU DO IT? TELL ME _NOW_!"

"The d-d-day when O-Obi-Wan was brought to the Temple. The first e-e-evening."

Qui-Gon pushed him away. "And this you're telling me _now_?!" His cloak swishing behind him he stormed out of their apartment.

"I- Qui-Gon!" Anakin cried desperately. Then he sank to the flood. He cried and trembled and wept and sobbed as never before in his life. Because Qui-Gon had slapped him. Because Qui-Gon was going to hate him forever. And, worst of all, because he, Anakin Skywalker, had perhaps killed Obi-Wan or even done worse to him. He had never, never, never wanted that. Even though he had not liked Obi-Wan in the beginning he had never – _never _– wanted _that._ And he had just started to like Obi-Wan. He was ashamed, felt pangs of remorse and felt just so _guilty_ about every bad word, every bad thought about Obi-Wan he had ever had. As if that had conjured up Obi-Wan's death. If Obi-Wan died, if Obi-Wan died because of _him_, he would crack.

_What have I done?!_

He had just wanted to help, he had wanted to release Obi-Wan from his pain. A memory flashed through his mind. The little bird. The little bird whom Obi-Wan had helped. He had taken all the pain from the bird. And shortly afterwards the bird had died.

Anakin rolled into a ball on the carpet and kept on crying.

Finally he heard footsteps. Qui-Gon was coming back. Quickly Anakin fled inside his room and pulled his blanket over his head. He knew that the X-Wing 67A hung directly above his head. The starfighter model Obi-Wan had given him. He had never thanked him. A new crying fit shook him badly.

He could not sleep. He would never be able to sleep again if Obi-Wan did not wake up.

_What have I done?_

He could not sleep.

Anakin sneaked out of their apartment on tiptoes. His feet brought him to the Med-Centre automatically. No one of the healers was there. The patients were kept under surveillance by machines, which would raise an alarm if something was wrong. Only the emergency lighting was switched on. Obi-Wan's lifeless frame looked ghostlike. Anakin bent forward, his eyes burning and void of tears. He looked so relaxed and peaceful. His face looked so much younger than when it was contorted with disapproval or frowning. Anakin took Obi-Wan's left hand in his owns. It felt warm and something comforting emanated from the contact. Now Anakin was absolutely certain: Obi-Wan would _not_ die.

"Obi-Wan", Anakin whispered, "please, you have to wake up again. Qui-Gon is missing you so much. And… so am I. I still have to thank you for the X-Wing. I'm so sorry I didn't do it earlier. If I'd known what would happen I'd have never gone inside your head. I just wanted to help. You know that, don't you? I did it as you did it with the little bird. But you didn't kill him, did you? I don't think you'd do something like this… Sometimes I wished for you to stay away for a very long time on your missions because I wanted to get rid of you, but I don't care if you're Qui-Gon's Padawan again and I'm a slave on Tatooine again as long as you just wake up. Please…"

Anakin did not know how long he was sitting there holding Obi-Wan's hand and getting everything off his chest. But from this night on he sneaked out for the Med-Centre every night and "talked" to Obi-Wan. He told Obi-Wan everything because he had no one else.


	9. QuiGon

**Thanks for all your lovely reviews! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you. When rereading I realized that it's totally unnecessary because nothing really happens :S I think I could have left it out :( Well, I'm posting it nonetheless because I've typed it now and maybe you'll enjoy it. It's just a little Qui-Gon's POV. **

TamsynDell: **Have you read the Jedi-apprentice series? Because when Tahl dies he's very, very angry too. He can't stand to loose someone he loves, he's not the perfect Jedi if it comes to acceptance. I think sometimes I tend to write the characters more emotional than would be considered canon. But…I just enjoy this too much lol. I'm glad you're feeling sorry for Anakin because so do I. Poor little boy… Qui-Gon always taught him to listen to his feelings and to the voice of the Force and that's exactly what he did.**

Phoenix Red Lion: **Thank you very much for the compliment! The thing that's probably most important for my story is how all the characters change and influence each other and how some little incidents will affect their lives later. About Qui-Gon: I enjoyed writing this and he's just the one who would lose it like this. As you pointed out, it's obvious from the incident with Tahl that he's not what would be considered the perfect Jedi because he has attachments and he loses his temper… (but he's still the first Jedi to ever become "immortal"…hmm…)**

Geri K: **Thanks! Good observations. As Qui-Gon always tried to tell them: There is something like a bond between them. "When Anakin was in Obi's head there was a slight knocking on Anakins mind, it was probably Obi trying to tell him something." Yes, maybe….maybe ;-) You'll see in the next chapter.**

Jedi Knight 13: **Thank you very much! This chapter will show you a bit how Anakin and Qui-Gon relate. But…it's not over yet…**

Dark Austral: **Thanks! That's just Qui-Gon lol. He's very emotional, very compassionate… dangerous attachments, hmm? And I'm really, truly sorry for Anakin too. Just imagine this little boy and then this huge, wild, angry man…**

Hurotias: **Thanks for your lovely review! Anakin has to learn to think first before acting. Maybe Qui-Gon is not a great role-model concerning this :) All of them still have to learn ;-)**

Sometimes Qui-Gon felt like strangling the whole world. Most of all the Council. Yesterday they had finally given permission to him to go with Anakin to Ilum. He wondered why it was that the twelve most insensitive beings in the galaxy were on the Jedi Council. Well, being insensitive was probably a condition to be on the Council. They had actually recommended he go on this mission in order to get distance from…_well_. Second he wanted to strangle the healers with their _Oh-no-he's-coming-again-and-is-going-to-ask-the-same-stupid-questions-to-annoy-us_-looks. And this morning they had released Obi-Wan from Med-Centre because he was "completely cured" as they called it. It meant they could do nothing more for him. It meant they had given him up. It meant Qui-Gon could only wait and see what was going to happen. It was in the Force's hands now. This incertitude maddened him. It was almost absurd because he was supposed to be the Master but now he became painfully aware how much he actually had needed Obi-Wan in situations like this. And still needed him. There were times when he felt like strangling everyone. Those were the better times. Because there were also times when unstoppable waves of desperation threatened to consume him. And most scary were the times when there was nothing. When he just got up in the morning as everyday, ate his meals, did his duties as a Jedi-Knight and Anakin's Master as if nothing had happened. He saw everyday life in the Temple, saw laughing and quarrelling Padawans, and Masters involved in serious conversations and he wanted to yell at them because they just kept on living their normal lives while Obi-Wan was still comatose. Oh yes, much too often they asked after Obi-Wan but they only did so on principles of comity. And then there was Anakin. As much as Qui-Gon was mad at him for doing…_well_ – at least Anakin had the decency to keep out of his way and to not annoy him as everyone else did. This morning when Qui-Gon had brought Obi-Wan on a hover-stretcher to their quarters, Anakin had said quietly and without looking at Qui-Gon: "Master, he can sleep in my room. It's his after all and perhaps he's going to feel there…at home." Qui-Gon felt like breaking down and crying but he just said: "Yes." He would give everything if Obi-Wan was ever able to "feel" at home again.

Qui-Gon checked on Obi-Wan at least once an hour. Round midnight he had a little surprise. Anakin was sitting next to Obi-Wan, holding his hand and speaking softly to him.

"…please, and not just because then Qui-Gon might like me again. That would be nice too, though… He's always so sad nowadays. If you really were jealous of me as Qui-Gon told me, then you were a bit stupid. No one is as worried about you as he is. He has always dark circles around his eyes and I wished I could make everything good but maybe it's irreparable damage. You know what this means, Obi-Wan? It means I can never ever make up for it… Has Qui-Gon ever beaten you? Surely not. I bet you were a real nerd-Padawan. I mean no harm by it, quite the contrary. Killi is a nerd and she's ok. They call me a nerd too, did you know that? But today Killi laughed at me like everyone else. Because when we had training with blindfolds I ran into the wall and sprained my finger. But how am I supposed to focus on the Force when all I think about is that you may never wake up again and that everything is my fault? Tull said: "What's wrong with our little nerd?" and everyone laughed. Master Kaze didn't. She told Tull not to make fun of others and so on, but it just made things worse. Why can't adults get it that such things are always making everything worse? I'm the worst now in almost every subject. But Qui-Gon doesn't care. I don't care either. Today in the flying simulator I was the best, though. Suddenly everything was fine again. Everything fell off from me and I had a lot of fun and I enjoyed it. Afterwards I had a really bad conscience I enjoyed flying while you're unconscious. But I think you are not mad of me because of that, are you?"

Qui-Gon stood in the doorframe and listened spellbound. What he was seeing and hearing tore at his heart-strings. In this room were the two persons who meant the world to him. He saw how affectionately Anakin cared for Obi-Wan. He saw also how much Anakin suffered.

"Ani." Qui-Gon's voice sounded hoarse. He had not talked much lately.

Anakin whirled around in shock at these words. "I didn't…" he started anxiously.

"It's alright", Qui-Gon said heavily and knelt down next to Anakin so they were eyelevel. "Which finger is sprained? Show me."

Anakin held out his right middle finger to him. It was already slightly swollen. Qui-Gon palpated it carefully. "It's probably going to hurt a little…"

Anakin winced when Qui-Gon set the finger. Then he bent it cautiously and looked at it in satisfaction when it functioned smoothly again. Unsure he looked up at Qui-Gon. "I did nothing but speak to Obi-Wan", he said as if to defend himself.

"I'm sure it does Obi-Wan good if you speak to him", Qui-Gon said reassuringly.

"Really?" Tears glittered in Anakin's eyes and the corners of his mouth twitched. Qui-Gon rested a hand on Anakin's thin shoulder; with his other hand he caressed Anakin's cheek gently. The cheek he had slapped a few days ago.

"I'm so sorry I slapped you, Ani. Did it hurt badly?"

"It wasn't so bad."

"I know you only wanted to help… But at that moment I was beside myself with worry. It was unfair of me to take it out on you. Will you forgive me?"

"O-of course. I-I'm so sorry for what I've done. I didn't want... I didn't know… If I'd known… I didn't want that!"

"It's alright, Ani." Qui-Gon hugged the little, crying boy and stroked his back soothingly. Finally, Anakin exhaustedly fell asleep in his arms. Qui-Gon carried him to the couch and tucked him in with three blankets. As Anakin was from a dune-planet he was always freezing. Then Qui-Gon went back to Obi-Wan to make sure everything was alright. Affectionately he smoothed a strand of hair back from his forehead. Obi-Wan had indeed grown his hair since he had been knighted. Qui-Gon remembered Obi-Wan as a sixteen-year-old Padawan on New Apsolon. Obi-Wan had been so strong then. He had done everything to help Qui-Gon find Tahl. And he had done everything to save Qui-Gon from the Dark Side. Qui-Gon had been so distraught by Tahl's death and had wanted to take revenge, which had almost led him to the Dark Side. He remembered Obi-Wan's sympathy and fear. Qui-Gon did not know whether to smile or to cry at these memories. He made a silent promise to himself. And to Obi-Wan. He would be strong this time. He would be strong for Obi-Wan's sake.

He just hoped Obi-Wan did not have to suffer in his coma. But Anakin was right: Obi-Wan did not look as if he was in pain, he looked peaceful and relaxed.

"Good night, Obi-Wan", Qui-Gon said. It was the first time he spoke to Obi-Wan in his unconscious state. It helped. That Obi-Wan could not answer him did not mean he was dead. He was still there and maybe he was just sleeping for a very, very long time. Maybe he had good dreams and was happy.


	10. The Voice

**This time I have TWO new (but short) chapters for you! Because you reviewed so kindly :) THANKS! **

TamsynDell: **Qui-Gon knows Anakin just wanted to help. In his fury he was very unfair but he didn't mean it of course. **

Jedi Knight 13: **Thank you very much for the nice compliment. I'm very proud ;-) I'm glad you liked the moment between Anakin and Obi-Wan. You're absolutely right, the Jedi really need someone like Qui-Gon because else they would probably do nothing but meditate… He keeps the old Order alive. **

Geir K: **Thanks! I agree, it helped Qui-Gon to hear Anakin talk to Obi-Wan. He saw that Anakin still treated him as if he were alive and could hear everything. In a way, this helped Qui-Gon to _accept_ the fact that Obi-Wan is unconscious and might perhaps never wake up again. But Qui-Gon knows now that this unconscious person is still the Obi-Wan he loves and that this will not change, and as long as Obi-Wan seems to be peaceful or happy, Qui-Gon is able to accept it.**

Dark Austral: **Don't be sad, he'll wake up. Soon. Very soon. ;-) **

At first, Obi-Wan was slightly confused when he was suddenly able to bend his index finger again. Successively he tried the other fingers as well and they responded bit by bit. He tried to remember. He had been on that horrible starfighter and had defended himself against that madman with the four vibro-blades. Then he had lost balance and had fallen. He had fallen for a very, very long time. In the process he had lost his lightsabre. That was too bad! And after that? He only remembered a glaring, throbbing pain. The devil of agony. He shivered at the mere memory of that cruel pain. He had feigned death in order that no one would harm him any longer. But they had done so all the same. They had yelled and had hurt his helpless body still more. Then the _voice_ had come and had saved him from his agony. When he had heard the _voice_ he had decided in favour of life. Now Obi-Wan resolved it was time to open his eyes again. The first thing which met his eye was his beloved X-Wing 67A. Oh, good, he was at home. Next moment someone squealed "_Obi-Wan!!!_" and something landed on top of him and crushed him. He tried desperately to get up again but it was pointless. He got hair inside his mouth and spat and gasped for breath. In addition to that a long braid flew around his face. _Hey, wait, that's my Padawan-braid… Anakin?_

"Anakin, are you trying to kill me?!" he uttered with difficulty.

"Oh thank you, thank you for waking up!" Anakin cheered. "I have to tell Qui-Gon immediately!"

_Finally_, Anakin let go of him and stormed out of the room. Obi-Wan heard him shout "Master!!! Qui-Gon!!!" Something stirred inside of him when he heard Anakin shout like this. There was something in his voice… It was _the_ voice. Obi-Wan was dead certain, he would have recognized it among thousands. How strange… Anakin?

Obi-Wan sat up in bed and was just about to get up when the door of his room burst open and Qui-Gon rushed in, Anakin on his heels.

"Obi-Wan – you – you – "

Horrified Obi-Wan backed away but Qui-Gon flung himself on Obi-Wan as Anakin had done before, and hugged him very tightly such that all the breath was squeezed out of him.

"Master – help!" With all his strength Obi-Wan pushed Qui-Gon back a little. Fortunately Qui-Gon let go of him then. "Argh." Obi-Wan glared at both of them. "Are you trying to choke me or what's all of this supposed to mean?"

"See?" Anakin grinned at Qui-Gon. "He's back to normal. I told you so."

"Anakin." There was a distinct warning in Qui-Gon's voice. Surprised Obi-Wan looked from Anakin to Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon used to call the boy "Ani" or "Padawan". "Anakin" meant he was really angry at him. And that happened very, very rarely. Normally, Qui-Gon overlooked all of Anakin's faults and his pranks. He was truly besotted with the boy. But the way he was glaring at Anakin now… and the way Anakin's grin vanished at once and made way for a frightened and…guilty (?) expression…

_Obviously I missed something…_

"That nothing worse happened", Qui-Gon continued strictly, "does not mean – wait", he paused and gave Obi-Wan a penetrating glance. "Obi-Wan, do you still…? What's your name?"

Obi-Wan could not control himself any longer. He burst into loud laughing. He still did not know exactly what was going on but it was fun nevertheless. Qui-Gon, however, cast him a worried look. "Obi-Wan, what's wrong?" he asked urgently.

Obi-Wan caught Anakin's eye. The boy grinned shyly at him, though he took care Qui-Gon did not notice it. Obi-Wan pulled himself together because he realized Qui-Gon was worrying deeply about him. "I'm fine, really. I'm in brilliant form and I remember everything: My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi and I'm a Jedi-Knight. You are Qui-Gon Jinn and you were my Master. That's Anakin Skywalker, your present Padawan. Besides, I didn't laugh because I'm insane but because you asked a really stupid question."

"Did I?"

"Yes, you did", Anakin interfered. "You asked: _Obi-Wan, what's your name?_"

"I see." Smiling, Qui-Gon stroked his beard. "I guess it was a pretty stupid question."

"Yeah", Obi-Wan and Anakin agreed simultaneously. Only now did Obi-Wan notice how exhausted Qui-Gon and Anakin looked. They had dark circles around their eyes and hollow cheeks. "I think I should move out of the bed", Obi-Wan said. "Thanks for letting me sleep here, Anakin." He got up but all of a sudden Qui-Gon and Anakin started shouting (that he was "mad" and that he must remain lying) and shooed him back to bed.

"And you call _me_ insane?" he said incredulously while trying to free himself from Qui-Gon's grip, who pinned him to the bed.

"Obi-Wan, you need to recover", Qui-Gon said mildly but authoritatively.

What nonsense! He had recovered long enough, hadn't he? He felt lively and well rested and he just did not get why Qui-Gon made such a fuss about it and handled him with kid gloves. He told Qui-Gon that: "I've really slept long enough."

"You were _unconscious_", Qui-Gon explained patiently.

"Whatever, but I feel recovered."

"_You will stay in bed_", Qui-Gon said in a tone which did not tolerate contradiction.

Obi-Wan let himself fall back into the cushions exasperatedly. "Ok, ok, I will stay in bed. But then please enlighten me what's going on."

"Alright. You've been unconscious for three weeks."

"Ah." Obi-Wan tried to hide his surprise. He had reckoned rather with three days. "What became of my mission on Kanaanda?" He should not have mentioned this because Qui-Gon got terribly overexcited again.

"What became of it? Mace Windu finished it. One of the best Masters! And _he_ had his hands full! What does the Council think of sending a young Knight there on his own! And why didn't you tell _me_?"

"Oh…" That did not sound good. Qui-Gon seemed to be outraged about it. Obi-Wan cast a sidelong glance at Anakin. The boy shrugged sympathetically. "I got the assignment unexpectedly", he said not very convincingly "and I had to leave immediately. If I'd had the time, I would have sought your advice before." The assignment _had_ been unexpected and he _had not _had much time but that was only half the truth. To be honest, he had been surprised himself when he had got that assignment. Kanaanda was notorious. He had not agreed to go on the mission without worry and he had known Qui-Gon was going to be anything but enthused. Nevertheless, he had been proud of the fact that the Council entrusted him with such a difficult task and naturally he did not want to be considered a coward. He had had no choice but to go on the mission. And to be honest: Everything had gone off smoothly. Who could have reckoned with that guy doing such a suicidal stunt and attacking Obi-Wan onboard his starfighter? Obi-Wan could tell Qui-Gon was not satisfied with his answer, so he detracted from it by asking Anakin: "Have you been to Ilum in the meantime and do you have your own lightsabre now?"

Anakin started to answer but Qui-Gon cut him off. "There was no time for such business."

"Because I'm afraid I lost my lightsabre and so I need a new one. I thought we could go there together." Not so long ago Qui-Gon would have been thrilled by Obi-Wan's suggestion – the fact that Obi-Wan was willing to spend time together with Anakin. Today it did not help to conciliate Qui-Gon, though. Anakin, on the other hand, was completely rapt.

"Oh yes, let's do this! When are we going there, Qui-Gon?"

"Before we go anywhere it would be appropriate you apologized."

Anakin shrank under Qui-Gon's severe gaze. "Sorry", he mumbled.

"Er – what for?" Obi-Wan asked, completely taken by surprise. He could picture dozens of things Anakin had to apologize for, but nothing which would make Qui-Gon that angry at Anakin. _I really must have missed something._ Anakin was shamefaced and remained silent, so Qui-Gon spoke again.

"It would be better if you learn of it in case there are any after-effects. Anakin was obviously under the impression he could help you like that, so he secretly entered your head – your mind – to do there…whatever."

Obi-Wan's hand went involuntarily to his head. He had expected something of the sort but that Anakin had been _inside_ his mind… "I see. What did my head look like from the inside?" Obi-Wan asked Anakin in order to ease the whole situation.

"Pretty chaotic." Anakin giggled at his own words.

"Anakin, that's _not _funny!" Qui-Gon snapped at his Padawan. "Anything could have happened! Just because nothing happened, you mustn't believe you did a heroic deed!"

"Qui-Gon, let's forget about it, ok?" Obi-Wan appeased. "I'm still alive and I'm really fine. Who knows if I'd be still alive without Anakin's help. I guess I should be grateful you picked him up on Tatooine."

"But it could have gone horribly wrong", Qui-Gon insisted.

Obi-Wan smiled a tad. "Since when is the what-if important? The present is the most important moment and at the present I'm fine. And I'm sure Anakin has learned his lesson."

"Yes, I did", Anakin confirmed quickly.

"Right", Obi-Wan said, "then I suggest you two rest a bit. You seem quite exhausted to me – physically and mentally. I would like to give this bed back but I'm afraid you're not going to allow it."

"That's absolutely right", Qui-Gon retorted strictly but he was smiling.


	11. The Starfighter

Anakin wanted to meditate and rest – as Obi-Wan had suggested. But then he remembered something. He had vowed to himself to thank Obi-Wan for the starfighter model at last. He was going to do this _right now_. He leaped up and ran to Obi-Wan. He forgot to knock because it was his own room. Obi-Wan jumped at Anakin's unexpected entering the room. Anakin, too, stopped in surprise at the sight. Still dressed in the ugly pyjama from the Med-Centre, Obi-Wan was doing stretching-exercises on the floor.

"Er, well." Obi-Wan stood up hurriedly. "Hi."

Anakin quickly closed the door behind him and grinned broadly. "You better not let Qui-Gon see this."

"Um, yes, you're right", Obi-Wan agreed. He seemed quite embarrassed. "I would be very grateful if you didn't tell him. Otherwise he's going to get so excited again."

"Sure, no problem", Anakin said still grinning.

Obi-Wan said down on the edge of the bed. "He just doesn't believe me I'm fine again", he said shrugging.

"Yeah, he didn't believe me either when I told him you weren't in pain anymore."

Obi-Wan swallowed. "Listen, I'm very glad things turned out so well but please do me a favour and don't do this again, ok? I have to admit the thought you were inside my mind and what could have happened makes me feel a little uneasy. Well, that's why I prefer not to think about it at all. It's not that I don't trust in your abilities, it's just… I guess you did not have the faintest idea what you were doing then, did you?"

"That's right", Anakin said awkwardly. But it was easier to admit it in front of Obi-Wan than in front of Qui-Gon. After all, Obi-Wan had even defended him against Qui-Gon just now and he did not freak out as Qui-Gon had done but was still speaking quite rationally. "I tried to do it as you did it with the bird", Anakin explained.

"I understand." Obi-Wan swallowed again. "Well, I dare say your try proved to be successful. Gee… I think I need to stomach that. Whatever. Why have you come anyway? Do you need something from your wardrobe?"

"Um, no, not really. I, um, just wanted to, um… thank you for the X-Wing." Finally it was out. After almost two years he had finally said thank you.

Obi-Wan seemed to think along the same lines because he only said: "That's quite belated."

Anakin pressed his lips together. "I'm sorry for that. I wanted to tell you earlier but somehow something always got in the way."

"Of course." For some incomprehensible reason Obi-Wan seemed slightly amused.

_He's just odd; I'll have to live with it._

Simultaneously they glanced up at the ceiling where the starfighter model hung.

"It's good to be here again", Obi-Wan said. "When I was your age I had some more spaceships in this room but the X-Wing has always been my favourite. That's why it was the only model I kept. In those days it was a very good – and comparatively fast – starfighter. I used to dream about really flying one of it."

"So, did you do it anytime?" Anakin asked curiously.

Obi-Wan chuckled softly. "Yes, even three times. It was great. But not as exciting as in my dreams. Luckily, I'd say."

Anakin listened interestedly. Until now, he had never imagined Obi-Wan dreaming of exciting space battles and daredevil flying manoeuvres. But then, why should he not?

"Obi-Wan", Anakin said suddenly, "you can have the model back, of course. I didn't know it means so much to you. If I'd known that, I would never have asked you to give it to me."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "You can keep it if you like it. I wouldn't hang it up anyway."

* * *

Qui-Gon insisted – much to Obi-Wan's chagrin – Obi-Wan still must not get up. Now that he was awake again, the healers had checked him another time but they only confirmed what Obi-Wan kept saying: He was completely cured. That did not keep Qui-Gon from confining him to bed and from fussing over him. Obi-Wan made no secret of it that it did not suit him at all. The first days Anakin had almost missed unconscious Obi-Wan because he had always been able to pour out his heart to him then. But with time he could do it as well to the Obi-Wan who was awake. Of course he was not as sincere as before and there were things which he just could not say like that but Obi-Wan was a good listener. Anakin told him everything which happened in the Temple, reported about his training and he had always a bunch of questions. Often Obi-Wan would help him with his homework, which was really nice. Obi-Wan was still not a very talkative person but his curt answers were less dismissive than earlier. He seemed to be thankful for Anakin's company, because he was "bored to death" in bed as he kept reminding Qui-Gon. Naturally, Anakin did not hold Obi-Wan's hand any longer but sat at the little table, tilted on his chair and waited for Obi-Wan to gripe "Anakin, how often do I have to tell you to stop tilting??!"

Finally, after one more week, even Qui-Gon was convinced Obi-Wan was well again, and he allowed him to get out of bed. Some days later, the three of them set off to Ilum in order to get crystals for Anakin's and Obi-Wan's new lightsabres.


	12. Visions

**Ok, I know this chapter is _really _short and that's why you get the next chapter too, but I wanted this chapter to stand alone. **

TamsynDell: **Thanks for even _two_ reviews. But it was not such a sudden change in Obi-Wan's personality, was it? Because he has never really been _hatefully _jealous. He never _wanted_ to be jealous but sometimes he just couldn't control his emotions. However, there were times when he was quite nice towards Anakin before. For example, he gave him his Padawan-braid (remember? By the way, I checked Episode 2, the scene with Yoda and the Younglings, and you're right, they don't have such a braid yet…I must have been imagining things….lol), and when he was training Anakin for some weeks things went rather good between them. I'm glad, nonetheless, that you now like this Obi-Wan.**

Dark Austral**: Thanks for your two reviews! Obi-Wan just doesn't understand why they're all so excited. He has had a few hours tight sleep and now he feels fit and well ;-) I hope this Ilum trip meets your expectations.**

Geri K: **Oh, yes, normally Qui-Gon wouldn't be such a worry mother, but imagine the poor guy: he has been constantly worrying for three weeks and he hasn't slept very much and people get odd if they don't sleep enough ;-) Anakin is very glad that he finally had the courage to thank Obi-Wan for the starfighter because that was something that was always bothering him – he knew he had to do it eventually. (And the reason why he didn't thank him for the Padawan-braid is just that Anakin doesn't understand the value of it – to him a starfighter model is soooooo much better than a dirty braid)**

Jedi Knight 13: **Wow, thanks!!! I'm flattered by your lovely compliments! I'm glad you enjoyed Qui-Gon's reaction and I like your metaphor of him as a "sleeping volcano ready to erupt", lol. Qui-Gon's and Anakin's emotional states are indeed similar and it's good to both of them to have someone like Obi-Wan around. Anakin is very mature in certain aspects (in others, he definitely is not…) and…well…you'll see more of it soon. **

This is the vision Obi-Wan sees in the caves of Ilum:

_Qui-Gon's face floats over everything, threatening and larger than life. He says in a thundering voice: "This is what will happen if you fail, my very young Padawan."_

_Flames erupt all around Obi-Wan. But he does not pay attention to it. His focus is solely on the man opposite him. It is a very young, handsome man. Obi-Wan senses his presence in the Force and he recognizes it: It is Anakin. But his presence has changed. It has become dangerous, threatening and dark. It is very powerful._

_Anakin holds an ice blue lightsabre in his hands. So does Obi-Wan. The two blades cross. A breathtakingly fast fight starts between the two men._

_Obi-Wan fights well, he fights very well, indeed, but he does not really fight. He acts much too defensively, he retreats instead of showing his strengths. He fights without the conviction of wanting to win._

_Many emotions fight inside of him. Far too many emotions for a Jedi. Emotions which a Jedi must not have. He is afraid. But it is no fear of losing the fight. It is fear of winning._

_And he feels love. Love for a creature of darkness. He is full of sadness. Losses. Guilt. All these emotions fight inside of him and against his duties as a Jedi._

_The fight comes to a sudden end. Anakin makes an enormous jump but Obi-Wan's lightsabre is ready and slices through Anakin's arm and both his legs. Anakin falls down and when he cries out in terrible pain, the pain cuts through Obi-Wan's body as if it were his own._

_The mutilated man at his feet groans and writhes and his face is contorted by pain. Physical pain, but so much more mental pain. And hate. Infinite hate._

_But Obi-Wan is cruel. He does not release this man from his anguish._

_Laughing derisively, Qui-Gon's face floats over everything._

* * *

This is the vision Anakin sees in the caves of Ilum:

_He stands opposite an old man. A friendly looking, kind, old man. Anakin does not understand why he hates this man. Nor why he wants to kill him. Because that is what he wants to do. More than anything else._

_Two lightsabres clash. The strength in their arms is not impressive. But the Force between them whirls like a tornado. Suddenly Anakin recognizes the old man: It is Obi-Wan! But Obi-Wan says terrible things to him: That he is evil, a Master of evil…_

_With an even greater shock Anakin realizes Obi-Wan is telling the truth. He is not Anakin anymore but it is as if some stranger, something dark, guides him._

_This dark creature runs a blood-red blade into Obi-Wan's heart._

_He is not Anakin anymore because Anakin would feel remorse. The dark creature, however, feels nothing but deep satisfaction._

_Then Qui-Gon's voice is in his head and it feels as if it is going to explode:_

_"This is what will happen if you fail, my very young Padawan."_


	13. and Reality

When Obi-Wan left the cave, his thoughts were still with the vision. He tried to find any interpretation, any meaning behind it but he did not succeed. When he met Qui-Gon and Anakin outside, he could tell Anakin must have had at least a similar disturbing vision. Qui-Gon was holding the boy, who was trembling all over, in his arms and tried to calm him down but that did not really help.

"Obi-Wan, have you got your crystals?" Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan nodded while he tried very hard not to stare at Anakin too obviously. Anakin turned to him. In his eyes Obi-Wan could read the terror of the vision. "Did you get your crystals, too?" Obi-Wan asked a direct question in order to leave the horror of the vision behind.

"Yes", Anakin squeaked.

"So, which colour do yours have?"

"Blue."

Panic cut through Obi-Wan like an ice-cold knife. He tried to shake off the vision, tried to hide his shock about Anakin's answer… _Two crossed, blue swords, a perfect contrast to the red-hot fire…_

"Come on, let's get back to the ship", Qui-Gon's words brought him back to reality.

With each step he left the caves behind his vision became more unreal, more irrelevant. When their ship made the jump to hyperspace it seemed to be nothing more than a distant memory, a bad dream.

Obi-Wan was just stowing his crystals carefully when there was a little knock at the door to his small cabin. He took a deep breath. Somehow he had known this was going to happen. "Yes? Come in."

Hesitantly Anakin came in and sat down on the sleep-couch. He looked very shaky. He was still suffering from the after-effects of his vision.

"I had a very bad vision", Anakin said, staring down at his hands, which he was folding nervously in his lap.

"I had a very bad vision, too", Obi-Wan replied.

"I…killed someone", Anakin said miserably.

"Oh… My vision was similar", Obi-Wan admitted. "I killed someone, too. That is, I don't know for sure. The vision stopped just then. I've only seen myself injure someone terribly. I think killing him with a quick blow would have been more merciful." His throat tight, Obi-Wan looked at Anakin. He had not the heart to tell him the whole truth. That _Anakin_ was the person Obi-Wan wounded so fatally. Why, in the galaxy, should he want to kill that little boy? What kind of crazy vision was that? Precisely, a _vision_. Obi-Wan pulled himself together. It was just a simple vision. _Nothing more_.

"But, Obi-Wan…" His eyes wide with fear, Anakin looked up at him. "The person I killed was…was…was _you_."

Obi-Wan froze. Had Anakin seen the same vision, only with another outcome of the fight? What Anakin said made his own vision much more vivid again.

"Obi-Wan?" Anakin asked quietly and unsurely.

"Yes?" Obi-Wan tried desperately to sound calm.

"I haven't told Qui-Gon about it because I was afraid he would throw me out of the Jedi-Order when he heard that maybe I'm going to kill you. He was so angry when I was inside your head. And everyone on the Council thinks I'm dangerous anyway and perhaps Qui-Gon is going to think that, too, when I tell him about the vision. But I felt I had to tell you because you're the one I'm going to… I thought it would be unfair if I didn't tell you. You should know." Anakin's lips were trembling while speaking. "Are you afraid of me now?" he whispered.

Obi-Wan had almost started to laugh loudly. Afraid of this little, trembling boy? But he did not laugh. This was obviously very serious to Anakin and Obi-Wan did not want to hurt the boy's feelings. "That's nonsense", he reassured Anakin. "I'm not afraid of you at all."

"But _I_ am afraid", Anakin insisted. "I'm afraid of that vision. That it becomes true and that I'm going to do such a horrible thing. I don't want to do it!"

"Anakin, a Jedi must not know fear", Obi-Wan reprimanded him gently. Then he realized this was probably not a very sympathetic thing to say in such a situation. _Great, Obi-Wan, that will definitely help him. You're really incapable, that you can't even think of anything better to do than lecture a scared child with some Jedi-platitudes._

Anakin wrapped his arms around his knees. "But I _am _afraid", he said in a whiny voice. He was trembling all over and Obi-Wan was overcome with pity. He grabbed his Jedi-cloak, which he had put down because he had wanted to go to bed soon, sat down next to Anakin on the couch and enveloped him in the big cloak. Anakin almost disappeared underneath the fabric. He was still very small for his age and he probably would have fitted inside the cloak three times.

"It's ok to be afraid", Obi-Wan said. "It would be very stupid, indeed, to know no fear at all. But it is important that you don't let your fear _control_ you. Because if you let yourself be ruled by your fear, it may lead to the Dark Side. Maybe you will make your vision come true like that."

"Does a vision reveal the future?"

"No. Yes…um. To be honest, I don't know for sure. Some reveal just our fears. But most visions show a _possible_ future."

Anakin swallowed hard. "So this means it could really become reality?"

"Sure, it _could_ become reality. But a vision shows only _one_ possible future. The future is always in motion and sometimes little things can make a big difference. That's what Master Yoda always says, anyway. Maybe you have made your vision impossible by telling me about it. But maybe this was a first step into its fulfilment. But you can't know that. No one can know that. And it doesn't help if you ask yourself all the time: _If I do this now, will it make the fulfilment of my vision come nearer?_ You just have to decide what's the right thing to do in this specific moment, that's all you can do. Keep to the Jedi-Code and to Qui-Gon's teachings – then things shouldn't go wrong. And if they do, then it's not in your power to change it. Then it's the Will of the Force."

"I would find it horrible if that was the Will of the Force."

"Yes." Obi-Wan observed Anakin thoughtfully. It was surprising the boy had come to him and told him of his vision. Yes, Obi-Wan admired Anakin's courage – the courage, which Obi-Wan had not had. And that was why Anakin had the right to know of Obi-Wan's vision as well. He deserved that Obi-Wan was honest with him. "In my vision you were the one I…injured", Obi-Wan brought himself to say.

"Really?" Anakin was not disturbed by that news at all. Quite the contrary, he seemed rather relieved. Obi-Wan could fully understand him. It meant Anakin was not only a danger to Obi-Wan but vice-versa as well.

"Well, yes." Obi-Wan shrugged. "Are _you_ afraid of me now?"

"A little bit", Anakin admitted.

"That I may kill you? Because you don't have to worry about it, I'd never do that, I promise."

"I was not speaking of that." Surprised, Obi-Wan looked at him. "That is", Anakin grinned a little, "I wouldn't like it so much if you killed me but I don't think you'd ever do that."

"Ok", Obi-Wan said, slightly confused. "What are you afraid of then?"

Anakin looked down in embarrassment. "That you call me _slave_ again."

_Oh no. Shit, shit, shit. _Obi-Wan briefly closed his eyes. _What have I done?_ It had been almost two years now and Anakin still had not forgotten about it.

"That was very… rude of me", Obi-Wan said somewhat lamely.

"Yes", Anakin confirmed.

Obi-Wan did not know how to go on. _Well, what did you expect?_ a little voice inside his head sneered. _Did you expect him to say, "Oh, well, it wasn't that bad, let's forget about it"?_ He had no excuse and thus all he could say was an apologetic: "It will not happen again. I hope."

"Yes…"

"And, Anakin, don't listen to such rubbish. You know who you are and you mustn't let yourself be hurt by such idiotic words. There's always going to be someone trying to hurt you but you must stand above such nonsense. You know it's not true what they blame you for. And such people are not worth that you're hurt or sad because of them."

"Gee, I wish I knew such wise stuff", Anakin sighed.

"Wise" Obi-Wan repeated amusedly. "I don't know… There's a great difference between _knowing_ wise, erm, stuff and actually _being_ wise."

"See? Such wise stuff again."

Obi-Wan was flattered that Anakin thought him wise but he took a little offence at the same time. Some members of the Jedi-Order, Qui-Gon and Siri above all, sometimes bantered him about his pompous and turgid speech. _Maybe I should spend more time talking to Anakin. I could learn words like "cool", "gee" and "wizard" from him. _But Obi-Wan knew very well such words from him were going to sound stupid.

Anakin shivered and pulled Obi-Wan's cloak closer around him.

"Are you still cold?" Obi-Wan asked him. "Would you like something hot to drink?"

"Yeah, that would be nice. Have you got some Walos-nectar?"

"Forget it, you won't get any Walos-nectar. What gives you the idea? Does Qui-Gon allow you to drink something like that?"

"From time to time. But unfortunately not very often."

"That's just typical of him", Obi-Wan mumbled. Walos-nectar had only a very small alcoholic content but in Obi-Wan's opinion children of Anakin's age should not get any alcohol at all.

When Obi-Wan returned with definitely children-friendly drinks, he had to discover Anakin had fallen asleep in the meantime. In Obi-Wan's cloak, on Obi-Wan's sleep-couch.

_Oh great, how am I supposed to get him back?_ he thought but smiled in spite of himself. He put down the drinkbags and lifted Anakin up very cautiously in order to not wake him up. Anakin's head tilted back and collided with Obi-Wan's chin full force.

"Ouch", Obi-Wan cursed lowly. _Damn it, I'm definitely not cut out for childcare. _Carefully, he rested Anakin's head against his shoulder, where it was safer. Then he carried him back to the other cabin, which Anakin shared with Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon had to grin when he saw the sleeping bundle in Obi-Wan's arms.

"You can have him back", Obi-Wan whispered.

"Thanks." Qui-Gon relieved Obi-Wan of Anakin. "Is he better?"

"Well, at least he's able to sleep, so I guess he is better."

"What about you? Are you ok? Did everything go well in the cave?"

Obi-Wan wondered if he should tell Qui-Gon about his vision. He decided against it. It would not make any difference apart from Qui-Gon getting worried. It was better he did not learn about it at all. "Yes, I'm fine. And it would be nice if I got my cloak back sometime."

"Sure. Good night then, Obi-Wan."


	14. Without a Master

**Chapter 14**

**Without a Master**

_A few months later_

Anakin was annoyed with Qui-Gon. This was already the second time that Qui-Gon went on a mission and left him behind. Supposedly because the mission was "too dangerous". And who – _naturally_ – accompanied Qui-Gon on such a dangerous mission? On whose help did he rely? Whom did he trust? Obi-Wan of course. Anakin wondered angrily why Qui-Gon had chosen him as his Padawan if he so much preferred the company of his former Padawan. That was what a Padawan was for – supporting his Master and helping him on his missions – wasn't it? Anakin felt utterly useless – an impression, which was intensified by the fact that, in Qui-Gon's absence, Anakin was handed round from one Jedi Master to another. Last time Obi-Wan had taken care for him and that had been partly okay because Obi-Wan had been one of the first Jedi Anakin had ever met and he still belonged to Qui-Gon in a way.

This time, however, Anakin was dumped on a Jedi Master called Ki-Adi Mundi, whom he did not even know. But after a few days, Master Mundi had been given a very important assignment, he had left the Temple and thus Anakin was passed on to Siri Tachi. Siri was quite alright but the problem was her Padawan Ferus Olin. Ferus was by far the most annoying and arrogant person Anakin had ever met. He considered himself extremely wise and did not let an opportunity pass to tell Anakin that he was not a real Jedi. He smiled at Anakin's language and his temper and criticized him non-stop. Anakin knew very well he was still far from being a real Jedi and he accepted it when a Jedi Master or an experienced Knight pointed out his weaknesses to him. Ferus, however, was hardly older than Anakin and it maddened Anakin to be treated with such condescension. For that reason, Anakin took shelter in his own quarters, where he had peace and quiet, as often as possible. He was able to work more efficiently if Ferus did not look over his shoulder in order to check if he was doing alright. So Anakin was greatly relieved when Obi-Wan came suddenly into the living-room one evening.

"Oh, hi Obi-Wan. I didn't know you had already come back." Quickly, Anakin switched off a live coverage of a pod-race on Holo-Net. Obi-Wan's glance boded ill. "I've already finished all my homework," Anakin explained quickly, "and Siri allowed me to go here."

"Anakin--"

There was something in Obi-Wan's voice which made Anakin sit up and take notice. Anakin surveyed Obi-Wan more closely. He could immediately tell something was wrong. The way Obi-Wan moved, his shoulders all tensed, and his eyes were reddened – almost as if he had _cried. _But Anakin had never seen Obi-Wan cry before and he could not picture it. Something very bad had to happen to make Obi-Wan cry.

"Where's Qui-Gon?" Anakin asked nervously.

"Anakin, Qui-Gon is…" Obi-Wan made an odd choking-noise "…dead."

It was as if someone had ripped Anakin's insides all at once. "You're lying." He gave a hollow laugh. "You're lying again, Obi-Wan."

"_I am not lying!_"

Anakin flinched at the fierceness in Obi-Wan's words. "Of course you're lying!" Anakin shouted desperately while tears started to pour from his eyes. "Qui-Gon would never leave me!"

"Damn it!" Obi-Wan stamped on the ground. "Do you think you're the centre of the galaxy?" Now it was Obi-Wan's turn to give a humourless laugh. "Do you think Qui-Gon got himself killed to annoy you?"

"You were with him! You should have saved him! If I'd been there, I would have saved him! It's your fault!"

"That's ridiculous!" Obi-Wan yelled and now there were tears running down his cheeks, too. "You couldn't have done anything! It was a Sith!"

"But you had to protect him! Qui-Gon said you accompanied him because it was such a dangerous mission! But you're alive! You're alive and Qui-Gon's dead! How's that possible?! Qui-Gon is the better swordsman! _He_ should have lived and _you_ should have died! It's all your fault!" Anakin covered his face with his hands. "He would never leave me alone," he sobbed quietly. "He would never leave me alone…"

"Qui-Gon wanted me to train you," Obi-Wan said chokingly. "I'm your new Master, Anakin." Obi-Wan approached him but Anakin backed away.

"Qui-Gon is my Master!"

"It was his dying wish-"

"NO!" Hot tears stung in Anakin's eyes and he ran through the room, away from Obi-Wan. "You are _not_ my Master! It's your fault that he's dead! I hate you!"

"Do you think I begged to become your Master?" Obi-Wan yelled back. "I don't want you just as much, okay? I don't want such a spoilt, arrogant brat who's offended because his Master has the impudence to die!"

Anakin remembered only faintly what happened afterwards. He was dazed with sorrow and rage. They yelled and wept, accused each other of the same things again and again and searched for words to hurt each other still more than they already were anyway. Never before in his life had Anakin yelled and cried so much, and at some point he started to hit, to kick and to scratch Obi-Wan. Then Obi-Wan grabbed him, his fingers clawed painfully into Anakin's shoulders, and shoved him into his room. He shrieked: "Get off! Get out of my way!"

And then Anakin started to throw things around. He flung the X-Wing model at Obi-Wan's feet, then the half-finished droid he had been tinkering with for so long, then his lightsaber – just everything within his reach.

"Stop it! STOP IT!" Obi-Wan roared.

When Anakin had nothing left to throw around, he smashed the door and, sobbing loudly, he dropped down onto his bed. And then he wept and wept and wept.


	15. Dead

**I have such a _wizard_ new story in my mind and it has a much better plot than this one and I want to write it right now!!! But I guess I have to finish this story first…lol. Ok, now the first quarter of this story has been posted. Thanks for still reading and reviewing!**

Jedi Knight 13: **It's good to know you're not completely mad at me because I killed Qui-Gon. ;-) Yes, Anakin did not know of Qui-Gon's death ahead. But he had a bad feeling when Obi-Wan was injured…ah, the Force…very mysterious, lol. I think Anakin wouldn't have acted differently if someone else had told him. Of course he didn't mean what he accused Obi-Wan of. Not really, at least. But Obi-Wan just always says exactly the wrong things…**

Geri K: **If I was Obi-Wan I would… I don't know. Either give Anakin a big hug or hit him very, very hard ;-) But of course Obi-Wan is a Jedi and he can control himself and so he would never hit Anakin (would he?) but he has not the strength yet to comfort Anakin because he himself is hurting so much. And of course he is very loyal to Qui-Gon and will fulfil his promise. Whether it was unfair of Qui-Gon to make him promise… I have my own theory there – you'll see later ;-)**

Dark Austral: **Oh yes, Qui-Gon would definitely not be happy with them…And that's part of the problem. Obi-Wan thinks he's doing this for Qui-Gon – training Anakin – but right now it doesn't help anyone. Poor, poor Obi-Wan…indeed…read on to find out more!**

* * *

With a desperate sob Obi-Wan sank down on his knees. In front of him lay the shattered pieces of his X-Wing model. That starfighter had meant so much to him, it was a reminder of his childhood and his dreams, the untroubled time here in the Temple. His favourite model. And Anakin had smashed it. As Anakin had destroyed his whole life. Anakin had taken his place as Qui-Gon's Padawan and worse, he had taken the place in Qui-Gon's heart and had run Obi-Wan away from it.

"_It's too late…for me."_

"_**No!**"_

"_Obi-Wan, you have to train him... He is the Chosen One. You have to train Anakin."_

"_Yes, Master, I will, I promise!"_

"_Teach him well…And tell him...I love…him…"_

_And then Qui-Gon's eyes had closed forever._

Qui-Gon had died in Obi-Wan's arms but his last thoughts had been for Anakin. For that Obi-Wan hated Anakin.

Sobbing, he tried to collect the pieces of the broken X-Wing. Because that was all he had left. But it was difficult to recognize the right pieces between all the other junk Anakin had thrown there. Tears dropped to the floor while Obi-Wan crouched there, bent down, and saved every fragment of the starfighter as if it was a precious treason. But his fingers were trembling so much and the tears dimmed his vision and everything blurred.

_You were with him! You had to protect him! But you're alive! You're alive and Qui-Gon's dead! It's all your fault!_

He had not been fast enough. He had not been able to save his Master. If he had only been one step faster… He had let his Master down. Qui-Gon had had to fight the Sith alone. It was not right Obi-Wan had survived and Qui-Gon had died. It was his fault. He had failed. He had disappointed his Master. The first and the last time.

Obi-Wan stood up, the broken pieces of his X-Wing in his arms. One piece fell to the floor and he bent down to pick it up again but now everything else fell down as well. Crying and gasping for air he tried to collect the pieces again but they fell out of his hands again and again. Finally he gave up and staggered to the room which was now to be his. _Qui-Gon's_ room. Obi-Wan swayed and clung to the chair arm in order to not fall. Slowly he sank down and pressed his face into the soft cushions of the chair, which muffled his loud sobs.

Obi-Wan did not remember how he had got to bed. He had not slept much. He had a terrible headache and he was still dressed in the same clothes as yesterday. The same clothes he had worn during the mission. The same clothes he had worn when Qui-Gon had died in his arms – _Stop it!_

Obi-Wan rubbed his temples. He had to be rational now. He was a Jedi. A Jedi did not live in the past. Qui-Gon would be disappointed about him.

His lips pressed tightly together, Obi-Wan started clearing Qui-Gon's things out of the wardrobe. He could use many of them but Qui-Gon's clothes were much too large for him. He would bring them back to the laundry and get his own clothes from his room and fill them into the wardrobe. Under the bed, Obi-Wan discovered a little coffer. Inside of it were personal items: Some holographs, Qui-Gon's Padawan-braid and a lot of rocks in every shape and colour. Obi-Wan had no idea which meaning was behind these rocks. He was never going to find it out now.

Fighting back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him again, he quickly locked the coffer and pushed it back under the bed. He would let it there.

When Obi-Wan entered the living-room, Anakin was nowhere to be seen. The fragments and splinters from his outburst yesterday lay still on the floor. Obi-Wan picked out everything which was still useable, swept the rest with a broom and threw it into the litter-shaft. Then he brought Qui-Gon's clothes to the laundry. After that, he cleared out his own room and placed his things into his new room. Then he took a shower and put on clean clothes. Then he ate a little bit. And then he did not know how to go on.

It was already afternoon and Anakin still had not turned up again yet. Obi-Wan started to worry about Anakin doing something stupid. His behaviour yesterday had shown very clearly how deeply he was affected by Qui-Gon's death. Obi-Wan could only hope he had done nothing reckless. With growing worry he started searching the Temple for Anakin. Finally Obi-Wan brought himself to ask some young Padawan whom he did not know and who for that reason did not look at him with a mixture of pity and curiosity. He was lucky – the Padawan had seen Anakin in the Room of the Star charts not so long ago. Obi-Wan get going immediately and he found Anakin there. He sat in the midst of dozens of holographic planets and was listening intently to the buzzing voices which enumerated some facts about their planet each. Obi-Wan's voice was powerless against those sound effects and so he just pushed the stand-by mode and thus switched off all the holograms.

Surprised, Anakin turned around. For a brief moment their eyes locked but Anakin averted his gaze immediately.

"What are you doing here?" Obi-Wan asked. He had not intended to sound so accusing.

"I'm learning", Anakin answered reproachfully.

"You can learn like that?" Obi-Wan asked doubtfully.

"What's it to you?" Anakin retorted belligerently and switched the holograms on again to finish the conversation.

But Obi-Wan had not finished yet. He switched the holograms off again.

Anakin switched them on again.

Off.

On.

Off.

On.

Obi-Wan had had enough of that game. He reached for the computer-system's energy supply in the Force and disrupted it. Normally you should not use the Force under such circumstances. It was a sign of weakness from Obi-Wan's part. An admission of not knowing how to cope with this situation in another way.

Anakin hammered furiously at the buttons but when none of them functioned, he realized it did not help him and so he stopped. "What do you want?" he asked annoyed.

"I just wanted to tell you that the funeral is this evening. 10pm. And tomorrow, same time, you'll be officially appointed my Padawan."

"I've already told you I don't want to be your Padawan."

Irritated, Obi-Wan pressed his lips together. "The matter has already been settled. The Council agreed on it. They want to respect Qui-Gon's final wish. And you should do the same."

"Who can prove it really was Qui-Gon's final wish?" Anakin said venomously. "After all, you were the only witness. You could tell them anything and just claim it was Qui-Gon's final wish."

Right now, Obi-Wan really felt like hitting Anakin very, very hard. Of course, he did not, but he had to use all his will power to stop himself from yelling at the boy again. "Precisely. I could, for example, claim it was Qui-Gon's final wish that you were banned from the Order. Trust me, I would prefer that very much to being forced to spend the next ten or fifteen years training you. I dislike all of this just as much as you do, but I would be truly grateful if you made at least a _little_ effort. It would make things more bearable to both of us."

Anakin turned away. "Was that all you wanted to tell me? May I go on with my exercise now?"

Resigned, Obi-Wan loosened his Force-grip on the energy supply and Anakin immediately activated all the holograms again. A loud, unpleasant cacophony filled the room and Obi-Wan quickly made off. All of this turned out to be so complicated. He had no idea how to approach Anakin. He had just the sinking feeling of doing _everything_ wrong. Qui-Gon would be so disappointed about him. Obi-Wan could only hope everything would become easier once Anakin (and Obi-Wan too) was over the worst of his grief for Qui-Gon.

* * *

The fire cracked and rustled and its flicker illuminated the silent and hooded shapes standing around the fire in a circle. The scene had something spooky. A slight gust of wind raised the grey ashes. Obi-Wan shuddered when something of it got caught in his cloak. Seized with dread horror, he had watched the flames consume the so well-known frame. Now hardly anything was left from Qui-Gon's body.

Obi-Wan did not cry. He had no tears left inside of him. He had just watched in silence while a cold claw clutched at his heart.

Anakin stood far away from him. He cried and sobbed all the time and he squirmed and writhed, he did not want to see this and at the same time he did not want to take his eyes off Qui-Gon. Some of the silent, dignified Jedi-Knights and Masters threw him some disapproving glances when he gave a loud sob. Then a desperate fury rose in Obi-Wan and he would have liked to yell: _Why don't you leave him alone? Let him mourn, he is still a **child**! And he has lost everything! You have no idea! You have not the faintest idea what it means to loose Qui-Gon! You have no idea what a great, kind, wise, brave, strong and affectionate man he was! To Qui-Gon emotions of living beings have always been more important than tradition, ceremony and rules…**he** wouldn't mind someone crying at his funeral, that I know. _But Obi-Wan said nothing of the sort. He could do nothing but stare at the flames in silence. Bant, who was standing next to Anakin, embraced the boy soothingly. Obi-Wan knew it was supposed to be his place. That _he_ should comfort Anakin. That Qui-Gon expected him to do so. But he could not do it. He just could not.

* * *

The next day, Obi-Wan was officially appointed Anakin's Master. He rested his hand on Anakin's and spoke the vow in front of the Jedi-Council as it was the tradition. Obi-Wan remembered painfully lively how he had stood here some fifteen years ago. It had meant so much to him to be finally accepted as Qui-Gon's Padawan. That ceremony had made him all solemn and he had repeated the words, which Master Windu had spoken in his authoritative voice, with ardour and deep conviction. Qui-Gon had fatherly smiled down at him and had squeezed his hand affectionately. It was something Obi-Wan had always liked to remember and he had always tried to best possibly fulfil the promises he had given to Qui-Gon then.

Now Obi-Wan was the Master and he owed his Padawan to make this day something special to him. He knew Anakin had not wanted him as his Master and he knew as well he would never be able to replace Qui-Gon in Anakin's heart. But he wanted to make the best of things and he wanted to give Anakin the feeling that these words were significant. It would be unfair of Obi-Wan if he did not fulfil his task as Anakin's Master because of his grief for Qui-Gon. He hoped he would be able to give something to Anakin today – something Anakin would like to remember later – as Qui-Gon had given to Obi-Wan once.

So Obi-Wan focused with all his strength on the Here and Now when he spoke the same words Qui-Gon had spoken to him all those years ago.

"I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, take you, Anakin Skywalker, to be my Padawan. In the presence of the High Council I commit myself to instruct you in the ways of the Force and to familiarize you with the Jedi-Code in the best of my knowledge and belief. I promise to protect you with my life and to guide your life in the Force. I pledge my loyalty to you from this day forward until the day of your Knighting." Obi-Wan tried to catch Anakin's eye but Anakin averted his gaze.

When Anakin recited the vow of the Padawan, he did so in a dull and drawling voice and he never looked at Obi-Wan. "I, Anakin Skywalker, take you, Obi-Wan Kenobi, to be my Master. In the presence of the High Council I commit myself to support you and follow your instructions in the best of my knowledge and belief. I promise to honour and respect you and the Jedi-Order in all my actions and my thoughts. I pledge my loyalty to you from this day forward until the day of my Knighting."

Thinking of all the years ahead of them, Obi-Wan was overwhelmed by a growing feeling of hopelessness and helplessness. Weakly he squeezed Anakin's cold hand and tried to smile. He did not think he managed but Anakin did not look at him anyway.

"Never forget these vows, Master Kenobi and Padawan Skywalker", Master Yoda said. "May the Force be always with you on your way together."

Obi-Wan and Anakin bowed and left the Council-Chambers. As soon as the doors had closed behind them, Anakin, still staring at the floor, said defiantly: "It meant nothing. They were just empty words. Nothing but empty words."

"They were _not_ empty words!" Obi-Wan's answer was fiercer than he had intended. He sensed his anger and desperation grow again. Those words and the vow they included meant so much to him. And Anakin just brushed it aside and ridiculed it. "And it means a lot!" Obi-Wan continued angrily. "It's a long tradition that Master and Padawan pledge loyalty to each other by these words and you will not ridicule that tradition again, do you understand me, Padawan?"

"Don't call me _Padawan_", Anakin snarled. "Because I'm not your Padawan, ok?"

"Oh yes, you are! You just swore in front of the Jedi-Council and now it's official, that's all there is to it. It's as easy as that."

Finally Anakin looked up. His eyes blazed threateningly at Obi-Wan. "I didn't swear anything", he hissed. "I only repeated brainless sentences from Windu!"

"_Master_ Windu, and if you don't respect the Council and the Jedi-Code – "

"I don't care!" Anakin roared. "I don't care a damn shit about it! _Master_ Windu and _Master _Yoda – they don't know anything! And you – I will never call you _Master_, NEVER! You want to protect me with your life – wow, great! I saw how well you protected Qui-Gon!"

Obi-Wan winced at these words. He did not know an answer to that. Finally, he just turned and went away.

"You will never be my Master!" Anakin yelled behind him. "NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!!!"

**

* * *

Ok, normally I don't say anything at the end of the chapter but I just wanted to ask you if the vow they gave to each other was ok. I searched the www for wedding vows and tried to write it a bit like it because I wanted it to be formal and so on. Argh, something like that is really hard if English is not your first language… Does it sound extremely stupid or does it fit?**


	16. Rain

**Thanks for the many kind reviews. I've never got so many reviews for one chapter. Wow! Thanks a lot. So this made me update quickly ;-) Ah, it's good to know you're all angry at Anakin ;-) It means I really got into Obi-Wan's POV and some things aren't too obvious. **

**And now something else: I've read a nice fanfic, which I want to recommend to you. It's set after TPM and it's about Anakin and Obi-Wan and it is rather mysterious - suspense. I think it's really interesting and I want to see how it will go on but the author does not update because he/she has not got reviews - so do me a favour and read and review that story, lol. It's called "STAR WARS: NIGHTMARES: Obi-Wan Kenobi"**

imaprincess1: **Thank you very much for reviewing! And that was a really nice review! (who wouldn't love such a review? lol) I hope you'll like this chapter as much! **

Geri K: **Yes, I see you're not an Anakin fan, LOL. Oh dear… Maybe this chapter will help a little bit. I really hope you like it ;-)**

Phoenix Red Lion: **Thanks a lot for such a long and thoughtful review! Unfortunately I can't say much to it because it would give to much away of the story. So… here is Anakin's POV and I hope it will explain things a little. Two things I might tell you: Anakin did care for Obi-Wan. And there will be some talking to Qui-Gon in the Force at the end of the story ;-)**

Jedi Knight 13: **Thanks again! I love Star Wars because of its emotions. Of course it is wonderful to watch lightsabre duels and space battles in the movies but I can't write that. Really, I would be bored if I had to write something like "and then a TIE-Fighter appeared and it fired at them with their laser canons…" I could never tell all the different sorts of spaceships and weapons apart, lol, so I really can't write about that. And I lack the imagination for a really exciting adventure story. And it's boring if Darth Sidious is always the completely evil guy, who is responsible for everything. I think it's intriguing if the problems come from the characters inside. So Obi-Wan and Anakin have very different character traits and they are in a very difficult situation…and it's interesting to see how they will handle things now. **

JMLeecurtis: **Hmm, they will need a bit more time…so, no accepting and conciliation in this chapter ;-) Unfortunately no mission either. I'm afraid I've read too many of Jude Watson's novels and that's why I can't think of anything more they could do during a mission ;-) And I just love the Jedi-Temple. I hope you'll like the progress of the story, nevertheless. Thanks for reviewing!**

Dark Austral: **Yes, it would be better if Obi-Wan didn't keep it all bottled up. He should take Anakin as a role model ;-) **

_One year later_

It was raining.

Anakin was sitting inside his room and was gazing out of the window. It had been a long time since he would run enthusiastically out into the rain. He had got used to the fact that it rained on Coruscant more than once a year. And he had lost his enthusiasm a long time ago. For rain, for fast spaceships, for lightsabre-duels… His enthusiasm had died together with Qui-Gon.

The rain reminded him of Qui-Gon. He remembered the first time he had seen rain on Coruscant. Qui-Gon had lifted him up on his strong shoulders so that he got closer to the rain. Jumping into puddles, Anakin and Obi-Wan had splashed each other with water and Qui-Gon had watched, laughing loudly. More than anything, Anakin missed that loud and resonant laugh. Obi-Wan hardly ever laughed and if he did, it was only a quiet chuckle and it never reached his eyes. At that time, on that happy rainy day, Anakin had had the illusion they could become something like a family. It had been a stupid dream. Today Anakin knew Obi-Wan had only joined him in the rain for Qui-Gon's sake. As well as he had only taken Anakin as his Padawan for Qui-Gon's sake.

_I could, for example, claim it was Qui-Gon's final wish that you were banned from the Order. Trust me, I would prefer that very much to being forced to spend the next ten or fifteen years training you. I dislike all of this just as much as you do, but I would be truly grateful if you made at least a little effort. It would make things more bearable to both of us._

Those words from Obi-Wan had made it obvious how unwanted Anakin was. At first, Anakin had been angry and disappointed but in the meantime he had learned to accept it. To be honest, the words were very reasonable. Anakin did make an effort. Since the day he had been officially declared Obi-Wan's Padawan, they had never again yelled at each other or insulted each other. But that did not make things more bearable. The silence which weighed so often heavily between them was smothering to Anakin, and the calm voice which Obi-Wan used for his lessons was even worse.

Anakin followed his lessons with a dogged determination. He did it to have something to do and to sometimes get one of Obi-Wan's rare smiles as approval.

But he had never called Obi-Wan "Master".

Anakin did not have friends. Already when he had been Qui-Gon's Padawan he had realized many of his classmates envied him of his talents and the special treatment he got from several Masters. But now that he could beat all his classmates in lightsabre-combat and was the best in almost every subject, he became aware of what it really meant to be envied. And the other students were not only envious of his abilities. They also envied him of having Obi-Wan Kenobi, the legendary Sith-killer, as his Master. When Anakin had learned about that source of envy he could have explained that there was not a perfect Master-Padawan-relationship between him and Obi-Wan at all, that he would so much prefer having Qui-Gon as his Master even though the latter had not been strong enough to defeat a Sith. But he could not tell them. Ferus Olin pointed out often enough he should pay more respect to Obi-Wan. And there was no one else among the students whom Anakin could trust. So he invented stories. He showed off with Obi-Wan. He depicted stories in which Obi-Wan as a great hero slaughtered thousands of enemies against long odds. His classmates were impressed by those "fairy tales" but they kept on calling Anakin a "nerd".

Sometimes Anakin dreamed of the flames consuming Qui-Gon's corpse. He would wake up shaking and sweaty and cry himself quietly into sleep as he did so many other nights. Sometimes it was enough that he sat isolated at a small table in the great eating hall to eat his lonely dinner. Sometimes the memories of Qui-Gon came crushing down on him like a huge sand drift. Then again the flash point was Obi-Wan not approving his hard work. Sometimes he wanted to run away, back to his mother. He had missed her earlier but then Qui-Gon had been there for him. When he now woke up from his nightmares, there was neither Qui-Gon nor his mother, who would hug and comfort him. He was all on his own now.

Little by little, he learned to cope with it.

One day he had found the garden with the memorials of deceased Jedi. At first it had been a shock to him to find himself directly in front of the white stone engraved with Qui-Gon's name. But Anakin had come back. The garden's calm and peace conveyed to himself and here he felt closer to Qui-Gon than anywhere else. Sometimes he would even speak to Qui-Gon but unfortunately he could not get any answers from him anymore. Otherwise Anakin would have asked him why there was nothing written on the stone but Qui-Gon's name – no date of birth or death, no inscription.

He had so many unanswered questions…

The rain became thicker and dusk started to fall. Anakin stood up, pulled on his cloak and hood and went outside for the Garden of Memory.

When he approached Qui-Gon's memorial he could see a person's outline, who put up two glow-sticks into the earth next to the memorial. Momentarily, Anakin hoped it was Obi-Wan but then he recognized the person as the Jedi-Knight Luvia, to whom he had briefly talked once. Preferring to be alone with his memories of Qui-Gon, he was about to turn and leave when she addressed him.

"Hello Anakin."

"Hi."

Hesitantly he took a step towards her. "What have you been doing?" he asked, worried she might have done something wrong to Qui-Gon's memorial.

"I wanted to put up the glow-sticks in memory of Qui-Gon. It's been exactly one year now." She stood up and looked wistfully down at the memorial and the glow-sticks illuminating it.

_It's been exactly one year now. _Anakin had never known when exactly Qui-Gon had died. He had been in the Temple then and had not known which day exactly it had happened.

Obi-Wan had never told him.

Anakin had never asked him.

One year… To Anakin it seemed an eternity that he had been happy together with Qui-Gon. And all the same the mourning was still so fresh as if it had happened only yesterday.

"I liked Qui-Gon very much", Luvia interrupted his musings.

Anakin looked up at her interestedly. Suddenly a crazy thought appeared to him. "Did you… love him?"

"Love?" Luvia grinned and it looked scary how the glow-sticks illuminated her face, which was disfigured by a gaping scar. "No, no, don't worry, no scandal there. You know the Jedi aren't allowed to have such feelings."

"_I_ did love Qui-Gon", Anakin retorted heatedly.

"Of course. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." She gently rested a hand on his shoulder. Anakin stiffened at the touch.

"So you were friends with him?"

"Hmm, no, we were not very close friends. It's just what I told you: I liked him very much. Qui-Gon was different from the other Jedi. He was much…" Lost in thought she ran a finger over the scar on her face. Now Anakin remembered she had told him Qui-Gon had saved her life when she had got that scar. "Well, he was just… more warm-hearted, kinder and more sympathetic than most of the other Jedi", Luvia finally said.

Anakin thought of Mace Windu, Master Yoda, Ferus Olin and Ki-Adi Mundi. But above all he thought of Obi-Wan. "Yes", he said, a lump in his throat, "that's true… Luvia, do you know why there's only written the name on the stone?"

"Ah, you mean why there's not written from when to when he lived? The Jedi say it's not important how long someone has lived and when exactly someone has died. If you're looking for information – go to the archives. Here is a place to remember and here it doesn't matter if you come on the day of death or on any other day. You remember when you want to and the way you want to."

"I see." That sounded plausible to Anakin. Nevertheless he was going to go to the archives and check Qui-Gon's birthday so that he could put up glow-sticks on that day too.

"Anakin, I think we'd better go inside or you're going to be drenched to the bone soon and get a cold", Luvia said motherly.

"Ok."

"Would you like to come with me and talk a bit? Or no, I suppose you want to go to your Master and spend this day with him. Certainly he needs you now."

Anakin could not discern her facial expression in the darkness but he had the feeling she knew about Obi-Wan. Something in the way she had said that told him so. Well, why should she not know? Maybe Obi-Wan complained about his Padawan to all the other Knights. Anakin did not like that strain of thought at all. "I suppose Obi-Wan prefers to be left alone today", he said noncommittally. "So I guess it's ok if I talk a bit to you."

"Good. Then come in quickly before we're going to get completely sodden."

Luvia's single apartment was small but comfortable. At first she wrapped him inside a big, fluffy blanket and gave him some Walos-nectar to drink. It seemed to heat every bit of him from the inside.

"So, how do you like your training to become a Jedi?" she asked after making herself comfortable in an armchair opposite him.

"It's nice", he mumbled embarrassedly. He still did not know what to think of this woman. It was a bit odd she invited him just like that in her apartment. But then, Luvia had said she had liked Qui-Gon very much. Maybe she just wanted to talk to someone about Qui-Gon.

"I heard you're a really good swordsman", Luvia said.

Anakin shrugged. "Could be…" Then he realized his curt answers were not very polite. Luvia made an effort to talk to him and Anakin was, in fact, very grateful for this because he did not like an awkward silence. "I like fighting with a lightsabre very much, that's why I practice so much", he answered more elaborately.

Luvia smiled. In time, Anakin had got used to the sight of the scar and it hardly looked scary anymore. "Earlier, lightsabre-training used to be my favourite classes too. Why do _you_ like it so much?"

"Dunno…" Anakin thought about it for a moment. "Maybe because you have to focus so much. It demands a lot of skill from you because you have to… coordinate your feet and your arms and at the same time pay attention to your opponent and your surroundings. It's a challenge and you have to be fast and follow your instincts."

Luvia nodded comprehendingly. "I used to practice when I was sad or angry. During the fight I could cool off."

"But… it's said that you mustn't let your anger guide you. In the fight you have to be free from all emotions and you must be in accord with the Force."

"Oh, don't misunderstand me, I didn't smash everything to pieces in anger. I practiced as hard as that to get rid of my anger. The physical and mental exertion helped me to leave my emotions behind."

"I see." This answer reassured Anakin very much because his reasons for his hard practice were the same as Luvia's. He had often wondered with a bad conscience if he was breaking the Jedi-Code like that. "You said you used to like lightsabre-training _earlier_. Don't you like it anymore?" Anakin asked curiously.

Luvia ran her fingers over her scar again. "I've seen too much disaster caused by a lightsabre. That's why I can't enjoy lightsabre-training anymore. I only draw my lightsabre if I have no other choice. I wish you better experience in your life so you can keep your joy for lightsabre-combat. Who's your sparring partner?"

"Most of the time it's Obi-Wan. I have some classes with Master Yoda. And sometimes I practice some katas and techniques by myself."

"Ah. What about your classmates? Don't you spar with them?"

Anakin swallowed. "Not very often", he admitted. "They… don't want to fight against me because often I win. But I can't loose on purpose just to make them my friends or sparring partners, can I?"

"Of course you mustn't loose on purpose", Luvia affirmed. "That would be insincerity and hypocrisy. If your partners were going to realize that, they would feel much more humiliated than when you beat them in a fair match."

"I don't want to humiliate anyone", Anakin said desperately. "I just want…" He did not know how to go on.

"What do you want, Anakin?" Luvia asked gently.

He shook his head. "I don't know", he murmured.

Luvia observed him with a funny look. It was almost as if she could read his mind. "It's not easy to have Obi-Wan as your Master, is it?" she asked cautiously.

A big lump formed in Anakin's throat. If he just had not drunk so much of the Walos-nectar. That had broken him up and agitated his emotions. It took him some effort to fight back the tears. "He hates me", he whispered.

"Nah, I don't think so", Luvia said lightly. When she continued there was a hint of scorn in her voice. "A Jedi must not know hate and we all know Obi-Wan Kenobi would never go against the Code, right?"

"You have no idea", Anakin argued. "He still hates me for becoming Qui-Gon's Padawan. I mean, he doesn't hate me as you would hate a… Sith-Lord or something like that but you should have seen him yell at me when…" Anakin fell silent.

Suddenly Luvia seemed thoroughly worried. "He yells at you? But… he – he doesn't hit you, does he?"

"No. No, he's never hit me and he hasn't yelled at me for ages. He told me once he doesn't want me as his Padawan and he only trains me because Qui-Gon willed so and… and that's what I feel like. I'm just a tiresome burden to him…"

"Anakin, now you listen to me", Luvia said energetically. "You are not a tiresome burden and if Obi-Wan treats you like that – then it's definitely not your fault but solely his. Please don't become like him."

"What do you mean?" Anakin asked in confusion.

"You're a wonderful boy, Anakin, and a great Jedi. Don't loose your big heart and your zest for life. Don't get all bitter and cold."


	17. Obi Wan's Dream

**I know, this chapter is really short… sorry… I promise, the next will be much longer!**

Jedi Knight 13: **I'm glad you like Luvia. Because when I read fanfiction, normally I don't want to read about OCs. She's my only OC anyway and she's…hm, important, but she's definitely not a main character. You got that right again: Obi-Wan wants to be perfect but all Anakin wants is a little bit of love.**

Geri K: **Um, yes, I was afraid of that question… Ok, I wrote Qui-Gon does not die _at the end of Episode I_. And he does not die in the time of Episode I… So what I told you was true – from a certain point of view ;-) Of course it would have been "truer" if I'd written he does not die in Episode I _yet,_ but really – that would have given away too much of the story, wouldn't it? Of course you're right: Anakin _was _horrible to Obi-Wan but he does not fully realize how much he hurt Obi-Wan by that. It was his way to defend himself like "You don't want me – so I don't want you either!" **

Dark Austral: **So you like Luvia – cool! I like her too… as a character, she's an interesting character to write about. I can't kill everyone off but… she's not really a main character because normally I don't like OCs in fanfiction ;-) **

It had been one year now. One year exactly.

Obi-Wan was lying in bed and could not sleep. The wind lashed thick raindrops against his window. No stars were visible.

One year exactly.

Certainly the dream would return tonight. The dream… again and again Obi-Wan ran through the laser-walls. Each time, when he dreamed about it, he got a little bit closer to the exit but each time the final laser-wall closed at the last moment and imprisoned him. Each time he had to witness through the red veil how the Sith's red blade cut right through Qui-Gon's chest and how his Master sank painfully slowly down to the floor. And then the Sith would turn to Obi-Wan, and his cruel face would mirror smug triumph and malicious joy, and the anger would rise in Obi-Wan's chest.

Each time Obi-Wan woke up bathed in sweat, his heart pounding wildly. Each time it took him a long time to regain his inner calm in a meditation.

It had been one year and Obi-Wan still had not got over the pain. He knew it was wrong – a Jedi must not mourn those who had passed into the Force; he must live in the present and his concern must be with the living. Obi-Wan had sought Master Yoda's help. Yoda had told him the first step was to accept the pain and only then the healing could begin – just as it was with physical pain. To Obi-Wan's question as to _how_ accept the pain, Yoda had only answered each person had to find their very own way. Well, Obi-Wan had definitely not found his own way yet.

One year that Obi-Wan had a Padawan. If one could consider Anakin as his Padawan at all. After all, Obi-Wan was not even allowed to call him "Padawan". He had accepted it after Anakin had shown him so obviously. By insisting on this title he was only going to pester Anakin and to unnecessarily increase the tension which already weighed between them so often. In principle, it was not that important, just a title, just a formality. But somehow the refusal of the form of address – "Master" and "Padawan" respectively – reflected their whole disturbed Master-Padawan-relationship. Strictly speaking, there was not any such relationship between them at all. Anakin was stubborn and reserved and dissociated more and more. He had completely slipped away from Obi-Wan. Sometimes Obi-Wan wondered what Qui-Gon would say if he saw what Obi-Wan had made out of the once open and buoyant boy.

In the hope that it improved their relationship, Obi-Wan had asked the Council for a mission. It had proved to be a complete disaster. Three other Jedi-teams had accompanied them: Siri and Ferus Olin, Ry-Gaul and Tru Veld and Soara Antana and Darra Thel-Tanis. Anakin had stayed away from the other Padawans even though they were his age and – at least in Obi-Wan's opinion – quite nice. He had barely spoken a word to them and had only cooperated with them of necessity. To Obi-Wan it had been particularly painful to see the good relationship and teamwork between the other Masters and their Padawans. He overheard Siri and Ferus having serious conversations, he watched Soara Antana and Darra laugh together and he saw the unquestioning trust between Ry-Gaul and Tru Veld. And he saw Anakin and himself: avoiding each other, talking cautiously and shallowly and being just complete strangers to each other.

"_Have you and… I mean, you have never been on a mission before, have you?"_

"_No, I haven't."_

"_So, this is your first mission then?"_

"_Obviously."_

"_Yes…"_

"…"

"_Then this is going to be all very new for you. You must be careful not to get distracted by all the fresh impressions. It is important to always keep your focus on the mission."_

"_Ok."_

"_So…um, right. Do you have any questions concerning the mission?"_

"_No..."_

"_Well, in case you have a question, you can ask me or one of the other Masters."_

"_Alright. Thank you."_

Nothing had changed between Anakin and Obi-Wan. Apart from that, the actual mission had gone according to plan…


	18. Luvia

**Thanks a lot for the lovely reviews! And now I want to say something which I have always forgotten to say: I don't own Star Wars (big surprise…) – George Lucas does. But I own Luvia, hah!

* * *

**

Since that day, Anakin went to see Luvia more and more regularly. He quickly realized she had a similar attitude towards rules and the Jedi-Code like Qui-Gon, and Anakin liked that. She showed sympathy for Anakin's problems with Obi-Wan and he could tell her almost everything. Although she was much older than him, she became his first friend in the Temple.

But it seemed things were becoming too good to last.

Somehow it must have come to Obi-Wan's ears because some day he unexpectedly told Anakin: "I don't want you to see Luvia again."

"_What_?" Flabbergasted Anakin looked at him. "Why not?"

"I just don't want it", Obi-Wan said irritated.

"_Why?_ Why do you have to ruin every little bit of my fun?" Anakin burst out. "Everything's already fucking bad enough – why can't you even allow me to have a bit of fun with a friend from time to time?"

The corners of Obi-Wan's mouth twitched slightly but he spoke calmly nevertheless. "I don't want to ruin your fun. I'm just worried about you."

"Worried about me?" Anakin repeated dubiously. "Why?"

"I don't trust Luvia", Obi-Wan answered plainly.

"But _I _trust her", Anakin retorted heatedly. "She's my friend and you can't forbid me to see her."

"I forbid it to you, nonetheless."

"You can't!"

"Yes, I can. I am your Master and you have to obey me. I'm sorry I have to say it that brutally but that's all there is to it. I don't want you to see that woman again."

"I will go to her all the same!"

"Then you're really going to be in trouble."

"I don't care! You may very well repudiate me – I'm going to be glad if I get another Master!"

"You could be banned from the Jedi-Order."

"Alright, I don't mind! I don't want to be in an Order which forbids friendships anyway!"

"Anakin!" Now Obi-Wan was thoroughly shocked. "Just think what you're saying! You can't do that! You can't put your life as a Jedi at a risk!"

"Why not?" Anakin asked scornfully. "Because I'm the Chosen One? That's the only reason I'm tolerated here! No one would give a damn about me if I wasn't the Chosen One! Qui-Gon would have never freed me from Tatooine if I wasn't the Chosen One. I would still be working there as a slave. The Council wouldn't allow me here. You would have repudiated me before long. Because I'm the Chosen One, the Chosen One, the Chosen One!"

Obi-Wan turned away. "I forbid you to see her again", he said annoyed.

But Anakin did not cower to such an interdiction. Still the same day, he went to see Luvia. "Obi-Wan has forbidden me to see you", he told her straightforward at once.

Her hand twitched nervously to her scar. "I've expected something like that to happen long before", she said grimly. "Well, what are you still doing here? You better get back if your Master forbids you to be here."

Anakin was sure she did not really want him to leave. Because otherwise she would have turned away and slammed the door in his face.

"He can't forbid me", he said seemingly indifferently.

A broad smile spread over Luvia's face. "Come in then."

Anakin sat down in the armchair, which had almost become his own already. He had always sat here. Oh no, he told himself, Obi-Wan was not going to take _that_ away from him.

"Did Obi-Wan tell you _why_?" Luvia asked while pretending to be completely focussed on pouring some Walos-nectar in Anakin's mug.

"No. All he told me was he didn't trust you."

Luvia snorted disgustedly. "I don't trust him either. He doesn't like me, I don't like him. That's not a big secret."

"Why don't you trust him?" Anakin asked and only now did he realize he had not asked Obi-Wan this question. He had only replied defiantly: _But **I **trust her. _

"You better ask _him_", Luvia said with a sour expression.

"I want to know from you", Anakin insisted. "Why don't you trust him? Why don't you like him?"

"Why don't _you_ like him?" Luvia countered. "We've spoken about it and you already know I'm of another opinion than Obi-Wan in many things."

"But there's more to it, isn't it?"

"It's not a nice story…"

"I thought so."

Luvia gave a pained smile. "You're right. So… it's all about the fact that Obi-Wan is the creator of this handsome, little scar." She thumped the _ugly_, _big_ scar on her face.

"What?" Anakin stared at her. "But surely he didn't do it on purpose…?"Luvia only laughed humourlessly as an answer. And then Anakin remembered what she had told him when he had first asked how she had got that scar. "You told me once that the person who inflicted that scar on you wanted to _behead_ you", Anakin said shocked.

"True", Luvia said dryly.

"That's…that's….why should he do something like that?" Anakin felt dread rise inside him. Sure, he had some problems with Obi-Wan but he just could not believe Obi-Wan could do something like that. He was a Jedi-Knight after all! Anakin was really panicking now.

"Surely Obi-Wan will be able to explain it to you at best", Luvia said and now she sounded deeply bitter.

"Why did he do it?" Anakin asked, pleading to get an answer which would make any sense.

Luvia got up and started to pace up and down the room. She did not look at Anakin while she was speaking. "Earlier, I made big mistakes. Mistakes which I deeply regret today. I was on the wrong side and I had done bad things. Obi-Wan wanted to eliminate me. Maybe it was some mission; in any case it was his duty as a Jedi he had to fulfil. Qui-Gon saved my life. He had pity on me, which is, if I'm not mistaken, a Jedi's duty as well. Probably the only duty Obi-Wan does not attend to… Anyway, Qui-Gon saw more in me than the scum Obi-Wan wanted to wipe out. At the last moment he pushed Obi-Wan's lightsabre aside. He brought me to the Temple against Obi-Wan's judgement. I was useful. I had information the Jedi needed. I knew about the Dark Side of the Force and could provide them with useful clues." Finally she stopped her pacing and looked directly at Anakin. "If you want to leave now because you want nothing more to do with me, I will understand. After all, I withheld the truth about me from you." There was no bitterness or biting irony in her voice anymore, she only sounded very tired.

"Why did you do bad things?" Anakin asked. "And why were you on the Dark Side of the Force?"

She smiled sadly. "The answer to that is simple: I didn't know anything else. I grew up in the Outer Rim, where the Jedi did not discover me being receptive to the Force. When I was a little older than you are now, a dark Jedi found me and took me away. He became my Master."

"But then you _have_ known something else", Anakin argued. "You surely had family and friends on that planet where you were born."

"Yes, that's true… but I had always known I was different – my gift with the Force. I was confused and unsure about myself and that dark Jedi took advantage of it. I fell for his promises."

"I guess I'm really lucky Qui-Gon found me on Tatooine and brought me here. Because otherwise the same could have happened to me." Anakin shuddered a little. "So Obi-Wan believes you're still evil?"

"Do you believe it?"

"No."

Luvia smiled gratefully. "Obi-Wan has always distrusted me and I know – no matter what I'm going to do – he will never fully trust me."

"But Qui-Gon trusted you."

"Yes, he did. He asked the same questions you asked me today. He wanted to know my reasons. He condemned my actions but he still showed a little bit of respect. He gave me my dignity back. But he was the only one to do so. Almost all of the Jedi distrusted me, and though some of them have been convinced in the meantime that I'm not on the Dark Side anymore, they still are contemptuous towards me. To them I'm a source of information at the most. I certainly cannot say life in the Jedi-Temple is a lot of fun. It's really lonely although there are so many beings around."

"Yes, that's exactly how I feel too… But now, we have each other and we are friends and so we're not so lonely anymore." Anakin smiled confidently at her.

She blinked and her yellow-brown eyes shimmered moistly. "You are truly Qui-Gon's Padawan", she said smiling, and Anakin knew it was the best compliment she could give.

* * *

"Where have you been?" Obi-Wan asked sternly when Anakin returned to their quarters.

"I was practicing", Anakin lied.

"What were you practicing?" Obi-Wan dug deeper.

"Why do you care?" Anakin said annoyed.

"What were you practicing?"

"Lightsabre."

"I didn't see you in the training room."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Anakin revolted. "Do you spy on me?"

"It is necessary – obviously", Obi-Wan countered. "Please stop lying at me, right? So? Where have you been?"

"That's none of your business."

"Oh yes, it is. You have seen that Luvia woman again, haven't you?"

"Fine, if that's what you want to hear – yes, I've seen Luvia! And now I know the truth. She told me everything, ok?!"

Obi-Wan laughed scornfully. "The _truth_? Now I'm really intrigued. What did she tell you? That I wanted to kill her without a reason?"

"No", Anakin answered coolly, "she told me why you wanted to kill her. I know she was on the Dark Side of the Force. But she has understood she made a mistake. She's not evil anymore."

"You call that a _mistake_? Have you any idea how many beings _she_ killed without a reason? I wouldn't call that a simple mistake, which you can quickly forget."

Anakin embarrassedly remained silent. He had not yet thought what exactly Luvia had done. "She did never say it was a simple mistake, which you can quickly forget. She regrets her actions very much. What else can she do than regret? She can't make alive again the beings she killed." Anakin insistently looked at Obi-Wan. "She was still very young when she was torn to the Dark Side of the Force. Her abilities in the Force were not discovered by the Jedi-Order but by a dark Jedi. That could have happened to me too. And to you too."

"It's not about me hating her", Obi-Wan explained calmly. "Maybe she deserves pity. The reason why I don't want you to see her is that she is dangerous."

"That's nonsense", Anakin said indignantly. "She has become good again long ago. She could have killed me about a hundred times and she's really a sensible and careful person. She once told me she's going to consider very carefully before she will take a Padawan because it's such a great responsibility. And she doesn't like to fight with a lightsabre because she fears to cause any harm. Really, Obi-Wan, if you made a little effort to get to know her, you'd see she's trustworthy."

"She told you she doesn't like to fight with a lightsabre because she is afraid to cause any harm?" Obi-Wan said sneeringly. "Well, the truth is, she's not allowed to touch a lightsabre because the _Jedi-Order _is afraid she may cause any harm with it. As well as she's not allowed to teach a Padawan. She is not a Jedi-Knight at all; she has just been hidden here in the Temple from the dark Jedi who trained her. Probably he is going to take revenge because she turned away from him. She has lived here for her own safety."

"And because she has useful information."

"That's true", Obi-Wan agreed, "but honestly, Anakin, after all she has done – why should the Jedi-Order make that effort and take that risk to hide her if she was not of any use?"

"You use people!" Anakin said reproachfully. "You would have killed her if she hadn't been _useful_. Have you any idea what a stupid life she lives here in the Temple with everyone distrusting her and making use of her? You use her – as well as you use me!"

"Excuse me?" Obi-Wan said incredulously.

"Yes, I'm only here because I'm the _Chosen One_! If – "

"Don't start that again", Obi-Wan said harshly. "You should be grateful to be chosen by the Force. If you devote yourself to the cause of the Jedi, perhaps many lives may be saved by you."

Anakin dropped his shoulders. All of a sudden he felt horribly empty and tired. Sure, Obi-Wan was right and Anakin was ashamed that so often he did not want to carry that burden. If he was the chance to bring balance to the Force, it was his duty to do everything to reach that aim. "I'm sorry", he muttered, his head hung down. "I…" he shrugged helplessly. "I really want to fulfil the prophecy but… can't I be sometimes happy all the same?" Again he had that lump in his throat.

"Anakin", Obi-Wan said in an unusual mild voice, "of course you shall be happy. I don't forbid you to see Luvia because I want to annoy you but because it possibly could be dangerous to you. I don't want to take a risk. Maybe the Dark Side in her is going to reappear one day, one can never know that."

"Qui-Gon trusted her."

"I wouldn't say Qui-Gon _trusted_ her. He rather tried to bring her back to the good side. And Qui-Gon was an experienced Knight. He would have been able to cope with the situation if anything had happened."

"She is my only friend", Anakin said sadly.

"I suggest we go to her together and try to clarify the situation."

"Ok", Anakin agreed, though he had no hopes it would change anything. Silently he followed Obi-Wan to Luvia's quarters.

"Good evening, Miss Glndetrtshr", Obi-Wan said politely.

Luvia squinted suspiciously when recognizing Obi-Wan but she greeted him just as politely. "Good evening, Knight Kenobi. How do I deserve the honour of this unexpected visit?" Anakin recognized a bit of scorn in her voice. Expectantly he looked at Obi-Wan.

"I would like to ask you to stay away from Anakin", he said calmly. "Surely you understand why."

"No, I don't understand", Luvia requited heatedly.

"Very well then, I'm going to explain it to you. I fear you might exert a bad influence on him. I do not want to doubt your sincerity and your loyalty to the Jedi but no one can tell how things will develop and I want Anakin to be trained only by real Jedi."

"I'm afraid you misunderstand a lot of things, Knight Kenobi. I don't train Anakin. We only talk to each other; we have a mere friendly relation. And by the way: this relation would not be necessary if you appropriately met your obligations as his Master."

"What exactly do you mean by that?" Obi-Wan asked and Anakin heard a hint of tension in his voice.

"By that I mean that you deny Anakin sympathy, friendship and appreciation. I try to give it to him. I only have his best interests at heart. It seems you don't understand what a boy really needs. Or you just can't understand that not everyone is as cold and emotionless as you."

Shocked, Anakin looked at Obi-Wan but the latter answered calmly: "How would you know what is going on between Anakin and me?"

Luvia snorted disgustedly. "Anakin has told me enough. I've seen enough."

Anakin shifted uneasily. He was not happy with this situation at all. He was standing between the two adults and they forced him to decide in favour of one of them and thus against the other. In addition to that, Obi-Wan most certainly did not like to hear that Anakin complained about him to Luvia.

"Miss Glndetrtshr, don't forget the agreement", Obi-Wan said almost threateningly. "You will _not_ see Anakin again."

"I really can't believe you were Qui-Gon's apprentice. Most of all, I can't understand why he would train such a killjoy like you and how he was able to stand spending so many years with you."

Anakin had the big lump in his throat again. It was unfair from Luvia to say something like that, even though Anakin sometimes thought along the same lines. It was unfair to tell Obi-Wan straight to his face and it was unfair if someone like Luvia said it because she could not know. Anxiously Anakin looked to Obi-Wan. He saw Obi-Wan biting his lip and folding his arms over his chest.

"If you go on seeing Anakin I will take the matter to the Council", Obi-Wan said angrily, "and you can well imagine what their decision will be like."

"Oh yes, I can imagine very well", Luvia replied furiously. "Naturally they're going to decide against me. But this is not about me. It's about Anakin."

"I'm not concerned about myself either. I'm concerned about Anakin."

"Wrong! You're only concerned about your Jedi-Order and about Anakin fulfilling that crazy prophecy! But why not let Anakin decide for himself? If he says he doesn't want to see me any longer, if he doesn't _need_ me any longer, then I'm perfectly fine with it. Anakin?"

Suddenly both Luvia and Obi-Wan turned their full attention to him. "I…" Helplessly, Anakin stared from one to the other. "I…"

"It doesn't matter anyway", Obi-Wan said harshly. "I will go to the Council and you needn't try to provoke or offend me, Miss Glndetrtshr"

"Fine, you got what you wanted!" Luvia spat. "I'm deeply impressed by your convincing reasons, Kenobi!"

"Thank you", Obi-Wan said coolly, "then this matter is sorted out and we can go. Goodbye." Obi-Wan turned to leave but upon realizing Anakin did not follow him he stopped halfway. "Anakin, are you coming?"

"I would like to speak to Luvia. In private. You could wait outside. It won't be long." Anakin looked at Obi-Wan pleadingly.

"Alright", Obi-Wan said resignedly but it was obvious he was not happy with it at all.

When Obi-Wan had closed the door behind him, Anakin turned hesitantly to Luvia. "I'm sorry if you get into trouble with the Council because of me."

"That's not worth mentioning. It's nothing new to me. They're going to tell me I mustn't seduce innocent Jedi-students with the Dark Side of the Force and that's all there is to it."

"But it means we can't see each other again."

"You're probably right there."

Downhearted, Anakin sat down in "his" armchair. "Why is everything always so complicated…"

Luvia sighed deeply. "I'm really sorry for you, Anakin. If you… Well, there are many Jedi-Knights who would like to have you as their Padawan. I would take you as my Padawan at once. If you ask the Council, you might get another Master."

"You mean you…want to teach me as your Padawan? Obi-Wan told me you were not allowed to have a Padawan."

"I wasn't speaking about me, I was only thinking you could have any other Master. I suppose the Council would even be sympathetic if you explained them your situation."

"You lied to me", Anakin remembered suddenly. "You told me you were afraid to take a Padawan because it was such a great responsibility. And you told me you didn't fight with your lightsabre because you're afraid to cause any harm with it."

"I never lied to you, Anakin. I _would _fear the responsibility of teaching a Padawan if I was allowed to. I _would_ fear to cause harm again with my lightsabre if I was allowed to own one. Yes, I know, I kept things secret from you but I never lied to you."

Anakin was not completely satisfied with this answer. But of course she was right: She had not directly lied to him.

"If you would like to, we could go together to the Council right now in and get you a new Master."

"No, that's not necessary. I will be fine."

"You don't want a new Master", Luvia assessed surprised.

Anakin shrugged. "It was Qui-Gon's dying wish that Obi-Wan became my Master."

"Anakin, you can't be serious!" Luvia exclaimed indignantly. "Qui-Gon would be the last person who wanted you to be unhappy!"

"Yes, yes, sure…" Anakin thought he had to explain further after having complained to her about Obi-Wan for weeks. "Since Qui-Gon's death, Obi-Wan has been so sad and…"

"Do you think you have to help him?" Luvia asked incredulously.

"Not really." Anakin felt a little awkward. "But I miss Qui-Gon so much too and I don't know if any other Master understood…"

"Ah. You feel affiliated with Obi-Wan because both of you miss Qui-Gon."

"Yes." Anakin nodded, relieved she saw it this way. "And…Obi-Wan has not always been like that."

"Trust me, I've known Obi-Wan longer than you have", she said sourly, "and he has always been _like that_."

"No", Anakin argued, "when Qui-Gon was still alive, he was really nice to me sometimes and maybe things will be like that again anytime."

"Well, I hope you're right – for your own sake", Luvia said but she did not really sound convinced.

This was the last time Anakin saw Luvia. A few days later she left the Temple.

* * *

**Ok, I have a question for you because I'm not sure how to go on with this story. I have two chapters written about Anakin taking part in an urban search exercise for all the Padawans but these two chapters are totally irrelevant to the whole story because nothing really new happens. So, would you like the story to move on more quickly? Then I will leave out these two chapters and post the chapter called "Anakin's 13th birthday" (which I would recommend, lol). **


	19. Another Morning

**Ok, I feel very, very, _very _ashamed of myself. I know you wanted me to post "Anakin's 13th birthday". I had it finished and when I wanted to start the next chapter, I realized I would need the chapters about the urban search exercise because there are little details which would help explain things. Hmm…sorry. To make up for it, I worked really hard and now I'm proud to present you THREE more chapters, two about the urban search exercise (they are not really exciting but I think you can read them through smoothly…) and the one about Anakin's 13th birthday. **

Lord of the Dull: **Thanks for reviewing…and sorry again.**

Jedi Knight 13: **Thank you very much!**

Phoenix Red Lion: **Bash them in the head – good idea ;-) I'm glad you didn't trust Luvia from the beginning, I tried to write little hints that she is…hmm, not trustworthy (?) And the reason why Obi-Wan doesn't get Anakin another Master: It's not a common thing to change your Master or Padawan (I made that up of course, lol), even though Luvia thinks it is that easy. Thanks a lot for reviewing!**

Geri K: **Oh, sorry, I have to admit the next three chapters are Anakin-centred again. But I promise, afterwards there will be THREE chapters from Obi-Wan's POV. I read your story "The Lesson" and I really wanted to review but my computer is crazy sometimes and it didn't work…hmm, and when I tried it again the next day, I got a message "You have already reviewed this story, you cannot review twice to the same chapter". But I suppose you didn't receive the review, did you? Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I really liked it! ;-)**

Dark Austral: **Whether Luvia is good or bad…it's for the readers to decide. She was definitely bad earlier but what whether she is still bad…it depends on if you believe redemption from the dark side of the force is possible. It's good to know I surprised you, lol, but I tried to write little, little hints that she is…mysterious ;-) **

Obi-Wan was still tired, which was unusual for him because normally he was a morning person. Maybe he had caught a flu… that was a promising thought because it meant he would be able to spend hours on his own and could relax and no one – neither Anakin nor the Council nor someone like Luvia – was going to disturb him. Obi-Wan took his time with clearing the breakfast table. He put the bottle with Muja-juice back inside the refrigerator and took a step back in order to close its door when he ran into someone. Dishes, glasses and cutlery fell on the floor with a loud clattering.

"Fuck!" A torrent of huttese swearwords followed.

"Anakin, I told you not to swear all the time", Obi-Wan disapproved him angrily.

"How would you know I used some swearwords?" Anakin defended himself. "Since when do you speak huttese?"

"I perfectly understood the first word and it quite obviously was a swearword. Swearing does not help fix the dishes. Swearing is only an indication of uncontrolled aggression." Obi-Wan's gaze rested on the pile of broken pieces at his feet. Normally Anakin did not clear the breakfast table but went straight to his classes. "Why did you have to take all the dishes at once?" Obi-Wan said irritated.

"I'm sorry", Anakin muttered.

Obi-Wan sighed silently. He realized he was being unfair again. Anakin had not done it on purpose. He had only wanted to help. "That's alright", Obi-Wan said, this time without the accusing tone in his voice. Presumably, Qui-Gon now would have said something like _Break a thing, mend your luck. _But he guessed saying it now would be a bit belated and would sound stupid.

"I'm really sorry", Anakin said subdued.

"It's ok. Go to your classes now or you will be late. I'm going to clean it up."

"Ok."

Obi-Wan took a broom and started cleaning up the mess. He was slightly irritated by Anakin still standing in the kitchen, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Luvia's words haunted Obi-Wan: _By that I mean that you deny Anakin sympathy, friendship and appreciation. It seems you don't understand what a boy really needs_. Had he been too harsh with Anakin right now? "Anakin, I'm not angry at you", Obi-Wan calmed down the boy. "Something like that happens. It's as much my fault as it is yours, after all it was me who ran into you. Something like that happens." Anakin nodded without moving a muscle. Obi-Wan bent down again, picked up some more of the bigger pieces and threw them into the litter-shaft. Anakin was still there. "Don't you have to go to your classes?" Obi-Wan asked frowning.

"No, there are no classes today."

"I see." Inwardly, Obi-Wan groaned agonized. To be honest, he was always rather relieved when Anakin had classes and he had some hours for himself. Anakin was certainly not obtrusive but Obi-Wan needed some time to retreat. "We'll practice in a minute", Obi-Wan said tiredly. "Some weight training. I'm just going to finish here." Slowly, he kept on working.

"Obi-Wan?" Anakin addressed him suddenly. He voice was very strained. He avoided looking at Obi-Wan and toyed nervously with a lose thread of his tunic. "Today is…I mean…today is a kind of exercise for the Padawans. It's called the urban search exercise. It's a kind of competition. I mean, you learn to find your way around in the city, sense of orientation and things. And you learn skill, teamwork, tactics… All the Padawans take part in it…" Anakin fell silent.

Of course Obi-Wan was familiar with that exercise. However, he had not known it was scheduled for today. For a tiny moment he felt something like… contempt. Contempt for all the young people who threw themselves with eagerness and fervour into the competition. To whom it was the most important thing in life to win that ridiculous game. He scolded himself for the thought; he told himself he had taken part in the exercise with the same enthusiasm once. He felt immensely old. An old and bitter man, to whom childlike enthusiasm had become a strange thing.

"May I take part in it?" Anakin asked and he sounded so timid.

That simple question made something break inside Obi-Wan. Yes, once he had been such a young Padawan too, who had burned with excitement at such things. The urban search exercise was the best fun of Temple-training. So why should he refuse it to Anakin? Obi-Wan pretended to be very busy with the broken dishes in order Anakin did not see his agitated emotions. Why did Anakin think Obi-Wan was going to forbid him to take part in it? Why did Anakin think he had to ask Obi-Wan for permission to take part in it? It was self-evident every Padawan took part in it. "Of course you may take part in it", Obi-Wan told him.

"Thank you." In Anakin's voice was a spot of enthusiasm and relief (?).

_And he should not have to thank me for such a thing. _"So, when does it take place?"

"Today. Um…it starts in a minute."

Obi-Wan frowned. So why had Anakin not told him earlier? Certainly, it had been decided before long that the exercise took place today. Why was Anakin _afraid_ to ask Obi-Wan? But Obi-Wan left it at that, did not ask Anakin further questions and did not tell him any lessons about being honest to one's Master. He saw it would not help at the moment. Instead he straightened up and said: "You'd better hurry then, if you want to arrive in time. Have you everything packed? Your equipment? Your trainings-lightsabre?"

"Oh, yes, I'll get it." Anakin dashed off into his room and appeared seconds later, fully equipped. "Maybe we could catch up on weight training next week on my day off", he offered, "because…that's important too, right?"

"We'll see", Obi-Wan said noncommittally and brought Anakin to the door. "Have a good time, Anakin."

"Thank you!" Anakin flashed him a big smile and Obi-Wan could not help but smile back a little. Then Anakin get going. Obi-Wan watched him walking confidently – well, rather _running_ – down the corridor, anticipation in his every movement. Obi-Wan felt an odd sensation in his chest. It was almost something like pride in "his Padawan". He caught himself envisioning Anakin returning this evening, exhausted from the exercise, glowingly telling Obi-Wan about his day. Or complaining about the other team, which had won in an unfair way. Shaking his head, Obi-Wan went back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up. Anakin never talked to him like that. He would rather tell Luvia something like that. _Luvia! _Obi-Wan slammed a large piece of china into the litter-shaft where it broke into more little pieces rather noisily. Of course the Jedi-Council had agreed to Obi-Wan's request and had forbidden Luvia to see Anakin again. Of course then she had raved against him again and of course she had succeeded in hurting him again. The Jedi-Council had even agreed with her to some extent and had advised Obi-Wan to take better care of his Padawan. If only he knew _how_ to achieve that! Luvia had left the Temple a few days afterwards and he knew Anakin blamed him for that. Though Anakin never openly mentioned it, Obi-Wan saw the silent accusation in his eyes. Obi-Wan had never thought it possible but he did not feel comfortable in the Temple anymore. It was not his shelter anymore, which it had been to him when he had been a child. Many of the other Masters had been sceptical about Obi-Wan taking a Padawan at his young age. And not just any Padawan, no, the _Chosen One_! Obi-Wan knew many believed the Council only agreed to his request to teach Anakin because he was the only Jedi to ever defeat a Sith. Now they saw their supposition confirmed that killing a Sith did not automatically make someone a good Master. Even Obi-Wan's best friend Bant, who normally was a very understanding person, had told him to "get over it" and to focus on the Here and Now – on his Padawan. Obi-Wan could only agree with her. He was almost relieved to have a full day without Anakin and at the same time he felt guilty thinking something like that.

Sighing deeply, Obi-Wan stepped to the little kitchen's window, through which one could see an inner courtyard of the Temple. It was a nice autumn morning, the air was pure and the sun shimmered golden on the Temples battlements. A perfect day for the outdoor exercise. Well, he was too old for that but he was going to enjoy a long meditation session in the Temple gardens, which to him was more fun anyway than fighting and competition.


	20. The Urban Search Excercise

**Warning: There's some swearing in this chapter, so if it offends you, don't read it. However, as this story is rated T it should be ok, I guess…

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Anakin had not felt that free and light for a long time. He had to stop himself from bouncing up and down the corridors. The Jedi-Masters and Knights would certainly not like it. He could hardly wait to finally start with the exercise. And to _win_. Yes, the moment Obi-Wan had told him "Have a good time" and had smiled at him encouragingly, he had vowed to himself he would win. He had to win and Obi-Wan would be so proud of him – proud of the best Padawan of the whole Temple. For a week, Anakin had struggled inwardly whether he should ask Obi-Wan for permission to take part in the exercise. Obi-Wan had always forbidden him everything which was fun and Anakin had been pretty sure Obi-Wan did not approve of such competitions. But all the Padawans who had already taken part in it earlier had gone into raptures about it and Anakin had _so much_ wanted to take part in it too. So he had signed up for the exercise. Without Obi-Wan's permission. He had wanted to ask Obi-Wan but he had not had the nerve. And this morning, when he had broken all the dishes, he had been absolutely sure he had messed _everything_ up and could forget about the urban search exercise. But when Obi-Wan had not been mad at all, Anakin had finally brought himself to ask him. Fortunately, Obi-Wan had not even asked why Anakin had not asked him earlier, because he would not have liked to hear Anakin had signed up without permission.

Anakin was the last Padawan to arrive at the hangar-deck. Everyone else were standing together in small groups and were chatting merrily. For a little moment Anakin felt lost because he did not know to whom he could talk, but soon Master Yoda, who was here to explain the rules, saved him from his embarrassment. Anakin listened attentively to Yoda's words. He must not make a mistake! They were divided into two teams, the gold team and the blue team. Anakin was in the gold team and his captain was Ferus Olin (which did not really make Anakin rejoice). Every Padawan had a data-pad with a map on it, where the position of a holocron was marked. Their task was to find the holocron and bring it back to the Temple before sunset. So, not very difficult. Anakin pulled his cloak closer around his body because the air was still rather chilly, when he climbed in the speeder which was going to bring him and the other gold team members to their starting point.

"Ok, everyone, let's talk about our tactic." Ferus smiled at everyone. "I suggest we divide the group and move to the holocron from different directions. Thus the odds are at least one of us arrives there."

"So, where do we have to go anyway?" a Mon-Calamari boy chimed in.

"Um, it's on your map", Ferus answered.

_He doesn't know either_, Anakin thought, _because otherwise he would explain. He just doesn't like to admit he has no idea at all._

But then an older Padawan-learner, who seemed to know more about Coruscant's levels and streets, explained in detail where they had to go to arrive at the red-glowing point on their maps.

"I've got an idea", Anakin said and when everyone turned his attention to him, he suddenly became aware he was one of the youngest. Uneasily he cleared his throat. "Maybe we could get us a speeder. So the others won't be able to stop us with their lightsabres."

"Hey, that's _super_!" the Mon-Calamari boy said enthusiastically.

Ferus frowned. "I do not think we are allowed to do that."

"Master Yoda didn't forbid us, did he?" Anakin shot back and he tried to control his rising anger. He knew very well Ferus was only against the suggestion because it was Anakin's idea.

"Anakin is right", another Padawan said, and more and more of the others agreed with Anakin as well.

"We could take a vote", Anakin suggested and tried very hard not to smirk at Ferus.

Ferus shook his head irritated. "That's nonsense! Would you please tell me how to get a Speeder? Coincidentally, I do not have enough Credits in my pocket. Have you?"

"Ha ha."

"So what are you going to do? Are you going to _steal_ one?"

"Of course not! There are other ways to get a speeder."

"Ah yes? Well, you could ask the Chancellor, sure, maybe he's going to lend you his private shuttle."

Some of the Padawans laughed but Anakin pricked up. That idea was quite good, actually! Quickly he checked his map but unfortunately the Senate building was too far away. "I can't ask him", he explained, "we'd loose too much time until I'm in Palpatine's bureau. I was thinking to use a Jedi-mind-trick to persuade someone to borrow us their speeder."

"Anakin!" Ferus said in shock. "A Jedi must not use the Force like that!"

Anakin flushed madly. He hated it to be reprimanded by Ferus like that. "I was under the impression we simulate a real situation, where he have to look for information and get it quickly to the Temple. So we're surely allowed to use the Force."

An Ithorian girl groaned irritated. "Boys, it's only a _game_! You needn't bite each other's head off because of it, ok? I'd say we better don't do that speeder-thing if Ferus has scruples about it, after all, he's our captain. Anyway, what's your plan?"

Ferus divided them into groups and told them where to go. "And some of us should stay near the Temple. Because if the other team gets the holocron first, we will be able to stop them and get the holocron from them."

"If we go to the holocron with united forces, the others won't get it in the first place", Anakin argued. "Speculating on the future only clouds the focus on the essential", he cited one of Qui-Gon's favourite wisdoms.

"That does not mean we have to run there without any plan", Ferus retorted sourly. "Well, who will stay voluntarily near the Temple?" Of course no one wanted to do that. "Alright, alright, I'll do it", Ferus said sullenly. Before getting out into the streets, Ferus quietly told Anakin: "You'd better listen to your Master for a change."

It took Anakin some time to realize Ferus was speaking about Obi-Wan. Yes, Anakin knew Obi-Wan disagreed with Qui-Gon concerning this matter because Qui-Gon always let his instincts guide him whereas Obi-Wan preferred to think a lot before acting. "You think you're cleverer than Qui-Gon?" Anakin hissed.

"I never said so", Ferus replied calmly. "Qui-Gon was probably a good Jedi-Knight but it is well-known the Council often disagreed with his actions."

Anakin measured him contemptuously. "Yes, that's true. Qui-Gon was one of the few Jedi who had the guts to oppose the Council for a change. Fortunately, I'd say, because else I wouldn't be here. Oh yes, I know what you want to say: _That would have been better anyway_."

"No, I didn't want to say that", Ferus said very quickly.

"But that's what you're thinking." With that, Anakin turned and get going to get the holocron.

-----

A few hours later, Anakin sneaked through Coruscant's streets, the holocron in his pocket. He had not seen another Jedi-student for ages, neither from his team nor from the blue team. He had no clue how many players had already dropped out. The more, the better, he told himself. Maybe he was even the only player left. Though, admittedly, it would not be a very impressive victory if he unhindered walked back to the Temple. Until now, things had been easy. On his way there, he had only met one blue team member, whom he had defeated with his lightsabre without a problem. Near the holocron he had fought a hard battle against _two_ opponents but he had won there too and had got hold of the holocron. He walked the busiest streets and mixed with the crowd as Obi-Wan had shown him during their mission. At last, the Temple came into sight. When he turned a side street which led to the Temple's forecourt, the Force warned him just in time. Three blue team members kept watch there. Anakin pulled his hood over his face and kept on walking slightly bent forward. Perhaps he was lucky and they considered him only an old beggar. It worked! He easily came to pass the first one but then he hesitated. Should Anakin eliminate him with a tap of his lightsabre? That certainly would draw the other two's attention on him. But he had won against two opponents before… If he just kept on walking he was in danger to be discovered and then he would have to deal with three. _Speculating on the future only clouds the focus on the essential_. Anakin had made his choice and slowly walked on. He mustn't look as if he was in a hurry… He had come to pass the second one. Unfortunately, the third one was more attentive and sudden recognition dawned on his face. "That's Skywalker!" he shouted and drew his lightsabre. Anakin had already his lightsabre in his hand and ran forward. From the corner of his eyes, he saw two more lightsabres flare up. If he beat the first attacker fast enough before the other two arrived, his way would be clear. Anakin put all his strength in the first blow, he focussed deeply on the Force – and suddenly someone shouted: "Anakin! Here!" For a little moment he was diverted but it was enough time for his opponent to easily block Anakin's attack. The sound of an engine rang out above their heads and a speederbike came into view.

Ferus Olin was riding it. He held out a hand. "Give me the holocron! Quick!"

"I'm gonna make it!" Anakin insisted and drove his opponent back with a series of hard strokes but in the meantime the other two blue team members had arrived.

"Anakin!" Ferus urged him. "Distract them so I can bring the holocron to the Temple!"

_Oh yes, you'd like that, wouldn't you?! _"I'm gonna make it!" Anakin growled through gritted teeth.

"Are you mad?!" Ferus screamed. "You're never going to make it against the three of them!"

"Then get your ass down and help me!"

"Now, will you give me the holocron! We can win!" Ferus flew the speederbike closer but Anakin completely ignored him. He had to focus on the fight. Finally, he made it. He had enough free room around him to jump out of the circle his opponents had drawn around him, with a big somersault. Then he started to sprint. It was still a long way to the Temple. Behind him, he heard his chasers pant, the lightsabres hum, and at his side, Ferus flew on the speederbike.

"Don't be so stupid! We will loose if you don't give it to me! _Anakin!_ Give! It! To! Me!!!"

_Never!!!_

Next moment, Ferus landed the speederbike directly in front of Anakin. Anakin had no time to dodge it and fully ran into it and Anakin, Ferus and the speederbike crashed down. The holocron rolled out of Anakin's tunic, and before Anakin could get up again, a blue team member tapped him slightly with his lightsabre and thus eliminated him. Ferus met the same fate. The third blue team member grabbed the holocron and cheering loudly, the three of them ran back to the Temple.

"Great, Anakin, really, well done!" Ferus straightened up and glared at Anakin. "Why do you always have to be so _selfish_?"

"_Me?!_" Anakin could not believe such an injustice. "It was you who got in my way! I would have made it! It's all your fault!"

"Excuse me?!" Ferus was at least as furious as Anakin. "If you had given me the holocron, we would have won!"

"You wanted all the fame for yourself! You always want to be the best!"

"That's rubbish! _You_ always want to be the best! You can't even cope with your Master not praising you because you're _such an awesome _swordsman!"

Anakin stared at Ferus with blatant hate and he wondered only one thing: _How does he know?_ Of course. A bitter thought flashed his mind. Siri Tachi was Ferus' Master and she was a friend of Obi-Wan's. His hate expanded to Obi-Wan, who told Siri something like that, and to Siri, who told Ferus something like that.

"You're such an arrogant womp-rat!" Anakin roared. "You're the biggest asshole I've ever met! You think you're so much better than everyone else! You're always looking down on the other _stupid_ Padawans!"

While Anakin's voice got louder and louder, Ferus's voice became calmer. "Sometimes you really force people to look down on you. You're behaving like… You will never be a real Jedi, Anakin. A Jedi is selfless and is able to control his anger. You can do neither of it. The way you're behaving again… Your Master will never like you. It happens I know that other disciplines than lightsabre-combat are more important to Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Anakin had a loud roaring in his ears. He felt nothing but unrestrained fury and desperation. He forgot all the wisdoms and lessons Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had taught him. Now he rushed at Ferus with the same rage with which he had once beaten up a boy, not much older than himself, on Tatooine. The boy had called him a "dirty slave", had spit at his feet and – worst of all – had stamped contemptuously on the droid, for which Anakin had needed almost three years to finish it. Anakin did not even consider using a lightsabre. He wanted to hurt Ferus with his own hands, he wanted to hurt him as Ferus had hurt him. He was going to pay him back every single word, but thousand times worse! Ferus was not much older than Anakin but he was a lot taller but Anakin did not mind. He could not think clearly because he seemed to be nothing more but rage – hot, flaring rage. But he did not care, because the hate made him strong and it was good if he was strong because thus he could hurt Ferus more. He beat the shit out of Ferus, bashed at every single piece Ferus he could reach. Then Ferus grabbed Anakin's arms and twisted them so they would break any moment. Anakin kicked hard into Ferus's stomach. Whimpering, Ferus staggered back. Immediately, Anakin started a new attack but suddenly Ferus's leg was in his way, Anakin tripped over it and in no time at all Ferus pinned him down to the ground. Anakin could neither move his arms nor his legs – so he hit his head into Ferus's face. It hurt like hell but it was worth it because Ferus hurt even more. Crying out loudly, he let go of Anakin. Blood splashed out of his nostrils. Swaying, Anakin got up again and prepared for another attack.

"_Stop it!_"

The harsh voice brought Anakin back to his senses. He stood still and, trembling, gasped for breath. Tears of fury burned in his eyes. When he turned around and realized who had disrupted the fight, he felt really sick. With a very dark look, Mace Windu glared down at Anakin and Ferus. Next to him was Master Yoda and eyen though he was much smaller, he looked at least as intimidating as Master Windu. Without arguing, the two Padawans followed the great Jedi-Masters.

"I'm going to take them to the healers", Master Windu said to Master Yoda. "Afterwards they are going to face the Council."

"Call their Master I will in the meantime", Yoda said. "Very serious and worrying this incident is."

Now Anakin was really filled with cold dread. _No, anything but that! _he thought desperately and simply stopped walking.

"Skywalker!" Master Windu barked annoyed.

Anakin balled his shaking fingers into fists and followed slowly. A healer treated Anakin's and Ferus's injuries while Mace Windu observed them. No one uttered a word. Ferus was in a worse way than Anakin but maybe it just looked like that because he had blood from his broken nose all over his tunic. Would Anakin not have been so sick with dread, he would have perhaps enjoyed the sight of the two thick, bloodstained cotton coils sticking out of Ferus's sniffy nose.

But the faintest idea of laughter froze when the two of them were standing behind Master Windu in front of the great doors to the Council-Chambers. Anakin's heart was thumping like mad when they walked in at last. It was like entering the lion's den. He had never liked the Council. The Jedi-Masters had never wanted him to be here and they had said horrible things about him: That he was dangerous and had anger inside him. Besides, they had always been against Qui-Gon. Sometimes Anakin had been with Qui-Gon when the latter had got crapped on. But Qui-Gon had never let them intimidate him. And Qui-Gon's courage and defiance had helped Anakin and made him strong when his Master had protectively put his hands on Anakin's shoulders. Now, however, Anakin was afraid of having to confront the Masters' inquisitive glares on his own. And then his blood froze. Obi-Wan was already here, too. Immediately, Anakin averted his gaze and uncertainly stood next to him. Ferus's words came to his mind: _The way you're behaving again… Your Master will never like you. It happens I know that other disciplines than lightsabre-combat are more important to Obi-Wan Kenobi_. Anakin felt like screaming in desperation. Yes, Ferus was right. And Anakin was always doing everything wrong. He had wanted Obi-Wan to be proud of him but now he was probably only angry and disappointed. Anakin wished he could explain everything to Obi-Wan – not here in front of the whole Council and Ferus. Obi-Wan would surely understand him. _No, he wouldn't_, Anakin had to admit to himself. _Qui-Gon or Luvia would understand but Obi-Wan would never understand why someone could freak out like that for such a reason._

"Padawans, an explanation for your behaviour you have?" Master Yoda asked.

Embarrassed, Anakin remained silent but Ferus spoke up at once:

"There is no justification of our behaviour. A Jedi must never act as we did. I am ashamed of my behaviour. I apologize." He bowed deeply to the Jedi-Masters.

Now everyone turned their attention to Anakin. He hated Ferus still more for his fawning words but he did not have another choice but to follow Ferus's example because else he was going to be the baddie and Ferus was going to be the good boy in no time at all.

"I'm ashamed for my behaviour, too. I should have controlled my fury. It was a wrong thing to do and I'm really sorry."

"Hmm…" Master Yoda measured them with a piercing glance. "Very quick your apologies are. Better wait, _patience_, and be sincere."

Anakin started to sweat. His apology had been sincere but he had only apologized to the Masters, not to Ferus. He was still of the opinion Ferus got what he deserved.

"We would like to learn more about the reason of your dispute", Ki-Adi Mundi said. "The Padawans who told us about your fight said it was about the urban search exercise. It has happened before that Padawans clashed violently with each other during the competition but I'm rather surprised that you two fought each other although you were in the same team. Padawan Olin?"

"Yes, Master, we were in the same team. But right from the start Anakin was not ready to follow my – the captain's – instructions. He did not fight for the team but only for himself. That has been very frustrating to me and thus I was not vigilant enough and we lost. Afterwards we blamed each other. I know I have not fulfilled the responsibilities as the team's captain because I could not make everyone cooperate."

Oh yes, he was such a brilliant speaker! By blaming himself for those little mistakes, he gave the impression of a responsible and reasonable Jedi. It made Anakin want to puke!

"Padawan Skywalker, would you like to add something?" Ki-Adi Mundi addressed him.

"I'd like to put something right", Anakin said sullenly. "I didn't oppose him because he was the captain. _He_ was against every suggestion just because it was from me."

Ferus shook his head, thunderstruck. "Something like that is really strange to me, Anakin, you know that."

"Ah yes? We took a vote and the majority was for my suggestion and still you didn't want to do it but later you suddenly arrived with that speederbike – which had been my suggestion right from the beginning – because you wanted to have all the fame for yourself!"

"I do not care for the fame for myself but for the team's victory", Ferus told the Masters. "Anakin suggested getting a speeder by using a mind-trick in order to get more quickly to the holocron. Of course I told him one must not use the Force like that."

The Jedi-Masters' glances told Anakin they agreed with Ferus on that. Angrily Anakin pressed his lips together. That moment the doors opened and Siri Tachi strolled in. She stopped dead when seeing Ferus.

"Ferus – for Force's sake, what happened to you?" she asked worriedly and hurried to her Padawan's side. Anakin became painfully aware Obi-Wan had not asked him that.

"I'm fine, Master", Ferus said softly.

Siri turned to the Council. "What happened?" she demanded to know.

"Your Padawan and another Padawan were beating each other black and blue", Master Windu said, frowning.

"Beating?" Siri repeated sceptically.

"I'm sorry, Master", Ferus said ashamedly.

"Have you already been to the healers?" Siri asked. Ferus only nodded. Now Siri turned to Anakin and scrutinized him with a critical glare. "I don't like to say this but my Padawan has never beaten another Padawan before and he has never shown any aggressive character traits…"

"I haven't beaten another Padawan before, either!" Anakin argued irritated. He had well understood Siri's accusation.

"Then I'm really interested to learn how it could come to that fight."

Master Windu cleared his throat demonstratively. "Master Siri, _we_ would like to ask the questions. By the way, if you had arrived in time you would know more now."

Siri glared at Master Windu, she was not really furious but she made it quite clear she would not put up with everything. Finally, she looked down and stepped back.

"Well, how could it come to that fight?" Master Windu asked them now.

Both Ferus and Anakin remained silent and uneasily stared down at their feet.

"We are waiting for an answer", Master Windu scolded them.

"Ferus insulted me and then I couldn't control myself any longer and rushed at him", Anakin answered honestly.

"So you _were_ the one who started it", Siri assessed and threw him a reproachful glance.

"_Master Siri_", Master Windu warned her.

"Alright, alright", Siri replied angrily, "I'm only worried about my Padawan. Is that not allowed?"

Master Windu ignored her and addressed Ferus. "Is it true what Skywalker said?"

"Yes. I did never want to beat him but he attacked me without any warning. I only defended myself. I never wanted to hurt Anakin."

Everyone stared at Anakin. An ominous silence hung in the air. "Well, Skywalker?" Master Windu asked sternly. "Why did you do it?"

"I told you he insulted me before I beat him", Anakin answered, his lips trembling.

"That's hardly a reason to hurt someone so severely", Master Windu retorted coolly.

Anakin glared at him defiantly. "Sometimes words can hurt much more than a hard punch!" His mother had explained it to him once but for a long time he had not understood how words could possibly hurt. No, a hard blow by Watto's whip had definitely hurt more than someone calling him "womp-rat" or "bantha-ass". But now Anakin knew better. It had been Obi-Wan who had taught him that…

"Right young Skywalker is", Master Yoda suddenly interfered. "A wrong word serious harm may cause. Psychic pain worse than physical pain is." Anakin could hardly believe his luck. Master Yoda agreed with him! _Thanks, Mum_, he whispered in his mind.

"I'd really like to know what horrible things Ferus said in order to deserve such a punishment", Siri said morosely.

"He said I'd never be a real Jedi and…" Anakin hesitated. "And he said I'm selfish", he finished his sentence differently than he had intended to do.

Ki-Adi Mundi slowly nodded his long head. "What made you express such accusations, Padawan Olin?"

"Well, he… I told him he was selfish because during the competition his only interest was to bring the holocron back _himself_ and that's why we lost –"

"One could very well see it the other way around", Anakin said angrily. "You only wanted me to give you the holocron because _you _wanted to be the one to bring it back! You could have helped me instead –"

"Anakin, you were not asked to speak", Obi-Wan interrupted him quietly but firmly and grabbed Anakin's shoulder. For a tiny moment Anakin imagined what it would be like if Obi-Wan had not put a hand on his shoulder to hold him back and stop him from shouting at Ferus, but to defend his Padawan – as Siri did to Ferus. But then Obi-Wan pulled his hand back and Anakin abruptly was sent back into reality. At least it had helped him calm down. Not moving a muscle, he listened to the rest of Ferus's tale.

"It would have been more sensible if Anakin had given the holocron to me because I was riding a speederbike and he was on the ground and had three opponents against him."

"Hmm… Ferus Olin, forget you do this is just a game?"

"I…" Ferus's cheeks turned pink and embarrassedly he stared down at the floor. Anakin had to try very hard not to smirk gleefully because _perfect_ Ferus was being reprimanded at least once. "Yes, Master, I understand I overreacted", Ferus admitted. "I took the game too seriously and expected everyone else to do so as well. But I want to add that Anakin insulted me just as much as I insulted him."

"Ah…" Yoda's green eyes rested on Anakin. "True it is?"

"Um…yes, I insulted him too", Anakin admitted. "But it were just empty swearwords but he knew very well he was hurting me with his words and that's why he said it."

Yoda squinted and scrutinized him closely. "Quick you are to find the flaws in others. Search your own flaws you must."

Well, Ferus had hurt Anakin with his words and Anakin had not managed to hurt Ferus with words, so he had beaten him and… Suddenly Anakin had to think of the broken dishes and his huttese swearwords. _Aha._ Actually, it was quite logical. But difficult. Being a good Jedi was so difficult. "I think I see my mistake", Anakin said subdued. "Beating Ferus did not make his words go away. He hurt me but beating him does not help me but it is only, um…an indication of uncontrolled aggression." Unsurely he looked at the Jedi-Masters. They seemed to not have expected this answer but finally Master Yoda nodded.

"Good it is to see you have understood the absurdity of revenge, young Skywalker. Well, young Ferus Olin, why so sure you are Skywalker cannot be a real Jedi?"

"One reason is that he wants to use the Force for something like getting a speeder. Then there is the point that he so much wants to win… Such is not the Jedi's way. A Jedi must work in a team. In addition to that, he told us lies."

"Lies?!" Anakin exclaimed outraged. "That's just not true!"

"_Anakin_", Obi-Wan silenced him.

"Yes, lies", Ferus said calmly. "He claims to be friends with the Chancellor and says he could borrow a speeder from him."

"But that's true", Anakin defended himself.

Mace Windu impatiently shook his head. "What are such fairy-tales about, young Skywalker?"

"Excuse me, Master", Obi-Wan suddenly spoke up, "it's not a lie. Anakin really knows the Chancellor in person. Palpatine was senator from Naboo and such got to know Anakin during the Trade Federation's blockade on Naboo. Anakin goes to see him from time to time."

Satisfied, Anakin looked into Ferus's dumbstruck face. Of course it was unfair everyone immediately believed Obi-Wan and no one believed Anakin but nevertheless Anakin was grateful for Obi-Wan's help. It was nice that he was still fair although he was probably really mad at Anakin.

"I see my mistake now", Ferus said. "I should not jump to conclusions. Besides, it is not my place to judge others as good or bad Jedi since I'm still a Padawan myself and I do not know enough about the Force yet."

"Very good. Glad I am you see your mistakes, young Ferus. Meditate on that."

"Yes, Master, I will."

"Hmm. Master Obi-Wan, still much there is to teach your young Padawan. The dangers of revenge he must understand. Selflessness he must learn."

"Yes, Master", Obi-Wan replied and he sounded rather exhausted.

"Do not forget that your Padawan is the Chosen One, Obi-Wan", Master Windu dunned. "It is important that he is taught well."

"Yes, Master", Obi-Wan answered again. Master Windu gave him a piercing glance. He did not seem to be content with Obi-Wan's reply but then he allowed them to leave at long last.

_Oh great_, Anakin sarcastically thanked Master Windu and Master Yoda silently. _You could have saved yourselves the last sentences. As if Obi-Wan was not already angry enough at me… And now you're blaming him for what happened. And reminding him that I'm the Chosen One is also kind of unnecessary. Obi-Wan would be really, **really **stupid if he forgot that. _His heart pounding loudly, Anakin was walking at Obi-Wan's side back to their quarters. Fortunately, Siri and Ferus headed into the other direction. Anakin would not be able to endure being reprimanded by Obi-Wan in front of Ferus. Until now, there had not been any lessons. But that was not necessarily a good sign because Anakin knew Obi-Wan would sometimes become very calm if he was very angry. He had not said a single word since they had left the Council-Chambers. _Maybe he's never going to talk to me again… _Finally, Anakin could not contain himself any longer. "Just say it!" he demanded and he sounded more desperate than he wanted to.

"What am I supposed to say?"

Frustrated, Anakin shook his head. "That I've behaved so badly, that I've annoyed you, that I still have much to learn, that I have to control my fury, that I must meditate as a punishment…"

Obi-Wan took his time to answer. "You have had your lesson during the Council meeting. It's hardly necessary I repeat it, is it?"

Embarrassed, Anakin remained silent. _Now he has even had enough of repeating over and over again the same lessons to me. As I don't learn anything anyway…_

"And besides, meditation is not a punishment", Obi-Wan continued. "One meditates in order to bring one's body and mind in harmony with the Force. This cannot happen under constraint."

Anakin refrained from reminding Obi-Wan how often he had actually punished Anakin with long hours of meditation. Well, Obi-Wan had never mentioned the word "punishment" but most of the times he only said "Go meditating now". However, he said it in a tone which did not tolerate any arguing back, and he said it when he was angry at Anakin.

"Obi-Wan!"

Anakin turned around. Siri, who had caught up with them, was standing at the other end of the corridor. Luckily, Ferus was not with her.

"Siri." Obi-Wan wrenched a tired smile for his friend. "What's the matter?"

"What's the matter?!" Siri vigorously closed up with them and posed herself angrily opposite Obi-Wan. "The matter is that Chosen Ones obviously get special treatment by the Council in recent time."

Anakin winced. So did Obi-Wan. "Erm, what do you mean by that, Siri?" Obi-Wan asked cautiously.

Siri snorted scandalized. "Obi-Wan, you saw my Padawan! You saw what he looked like! Can you remember anything like that ever happen in the Temple before? And if it happened before, it certainly was handled differently. An apology at least would be appropriate!"

"I – I can do that", Anakin said quickly. "I can apologize to Ferus, that's no problem. I – I'm gonna do it right now."

"That's really gracious of you", Siri said cynically.

"Siri, listen", Obi-Wan tried to give in but then he paused. "Anakin, go to bed", he said harshly without looking at him at all.

Anakin would have preferred to stay because he feared Obi-Wan was going to get into still more trouble because of him and he really did not want that but Obi-Wan's tone had been clear. With a very bad conscience, Anakin left the two arguing friends alone. He did not go to bed, however, but in the Garden of Memory. He knew Obi-Wan did never come here, so he could be alone here. Groaning, he sank down next to Qui-Gon's memorial and leaned back against the hard, cold stone. He could well imagine what Obi-Wan must be feeling like. At first his incapable apprentice had broken all of the breakfast dishes, then it had turned out Anakin had signed for a competition without permission and kept it secret from Obi-Wan for a long time. And Obi-Wan had not even been furious then. But afterwards Anakin had once again messed everything up. Perhaps Obi-Wan had been meditating relaxed when he was informed his apprentice had done something bloody stupid. The terrible Council meeting… Then they had blamed Obi-Wan for not teaching Anakin well… And now he had got into an argument over Anakin with one of his best friends. It was a sheer miracle he had not torn Anakin to thousands of pieces yet.

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck…" Anakin whispered and though he knew it did not help, he added several huttese swearwords. He trembled from the cold and his back ached from the rough stone he leaned against but it was all he had left. His memories of Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon had always been so happy, had always had a mischievous glint in his eyes, had laughed about and with Anakin. Anakin wrapped his arms around his body. His teeth clattered. He just wanted to run away, back to his mother. If she knew what had become of his son… She had been so happy when Qui-Gon had said he was going to become a Jedi. She would not want him to give up that easily. And Qui-Gon would not want him to give up as well. He had brought Anakin here because… because he was the Chosen One. _Why can't I be more to anyone than just the Chosen One? _He was so _sick _of that word! "Mum…" His small voice sounded strange in the dark garden with the many memorials looming as black shadows. It was almost scary. But of course a Jedi must not know fear. So Anakin told himself it did not make a difference whether he was in the garden at night or at daylight. Soon, however, it was becoming to cold to stay outside and he made his way back.

Quietly, he sneaked back inside their quarters but stopped dead when he noticed the lights were still on and Obi-Wan was still up too. He was sitting at the table, one hand supporting his chin, the other holding a glass of a blue drink Anakin had never been allowed to try because there was too much alcohol in it. Anakin shuddered. Obi-Wan was not drunk, was he?

"Anakin, where have you been?" Obi-Wan asked exasperatedly.

"Outside." Frightened to death, Anakin stared at him.

"Don't go outside at such a late time again without telling me, do you understand me?" Obi-Wan did not yell but his voice was louder than usually.

Anakin nodded obediently. Indecisively he stood in the doorframe. He wanted to apologize for what had happened today and he wanted to say that he missed Qui-Gon just as much but he was not able to utter a word.

"Go to bed now", Obi-Wan said calmly again.

Anakin did so as quickly as possibly. Nervously, he locked his sleeping room's door. He did not feel safe here anymore. He was afraid of Obi-Wan drinking too much of the blue drink and then… Anakin was afraid of drunken persons since a big, tall man in Mos Espa, who had been staggering madly through the streets, had grabbed him and insulted him. "Stinking slave boy", "bantha-brood", "son of a bitch" and many other words he had not even understood. Although Anakin had not done anything to the big man, the man had given him a hard punch on the head. Fortunately, Anakin had been able to flee after that.

Now Anakin lay down on the floor and peeked through the gap in the door. If Obi-Wan stayed there much longer and kept drinking, Anakin would have to interfere. But soon he heard a little clinging noise when Obi-Wan put down the glass, then the chair legs' scraping on the floor. Obi-Wan's steps moved in the kitchen's direction and came back. Anakin could only see Obi-Wan's boots but they were still moving straight forward without staggering. Then the lights were switched off next door and the door to Obi-Wan's room was opened and closed softly.

Very relieved, Anakin let himself fall back on his bed. He was really lucky Obi-Wan was such a sensible and controlled person, who did not get drunk out of frustration. During the last months, Anakin had sometimes wished he had a Master like Qui-Gon or Siri but now he was really glad Obi-Wan was not that temperamental. Maybe Qui-Gon would have yelled and hit Anakin in such a situation. Obi-Wan did not do such things. He was not very affectionate towards Anakin but at least he was very decent. Grateful he could rely on that, Anakin fell asleep.


	21. Anakin's 13th Birthday

_A few weeks later_

Anakin woke up earlier than usual. The luminescent chrono-display at his bedside table told him today was his 13th birthday. Probably Anakin was the only Padawan in the whole galaxy who did not look forward to it. Normally, at his 13th birthday, a Padawan got a very precious or a very special birthday present from his Master. Anakin knew he should not expect anything like that. After all, he was not really Obi-Wan's Padawan and Obi-Wan was not really his Master. They only were officially. Anakin did not need a present; it would be enough to him if Obi-Wan just congratulated him. Because Obi-Wan had completely ignored his 12th birthday. Or he had forgotten. Anakin did not know what would be worse.

He remembered his birthdays on Tatooine. His mother used to save food for that day. She had woken him with a birthday song and a big kiss. After his work, his friends had come and brought him little presents like a snail-shell, which they had found in the sand, a hand-carved Japor snippet or some junk which some rich trader from another world had left on the streets because he had no use for it anymore, but which Anakin loved to tinker with. Then they had sung the birthday songs together and had played ball till late in the evening. And then, when his friends had gone, his mother would wrap him inside a warm blanket and they would sit outside and look at the stars above and Anakin would ask her to tell him the name of that star and that star over there…

The memories hurt so much and Anakin pulled his blanket over his head. He should have celebrated this day with Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon would come into his room right now, pull him out of his blankets and lift him up, laughing. He would say "Happy birthday, Ani!" and give him a wonderful present.

Being alone was bad but worst of all was being alone on one's birthday.

Finally, Anakin resolved to get up because else he would start crying right now and he definitely was not to cry on his birthday.

When he turned on the lights in his room, his mouth fell open. A sparkling T-Wing model was set on his table. Anakin jumped out of his bed and examined it more closely, and right: It was not just any T-Wing, it was a T-Wing 707. He could not believe it. This was the best spaceship model he had ever seen. It was _perfect_. He did not even dare to touch it but he just walked around it, marvelling at the sight, and examining every little detail from every angle. Then he noticed the little piece of paper, which lay next to the starfighter on the table.

_Happy Birthday, Anakin. I hope you like your present and I really hope it is not already outdated and too lame. Obi-Wan._

Tears welled up in Anakin's eyes while he was reading this short message and it wonderfully warmed his heart. Of course he had decided _not_ to cry on his birthday but now this was a totally different matter. Because Obi-Wan had remembered today was his birthday. And he had given Anakin a present. Not just any present. He had wanted to give something great to Anakin, something of which he knew Anakin was going to like it. Anakin could hardly believe Obi-Wan remembered those stupid things Anakin had told him when he had been a…well, stupid kid, more than three years ago. Overwhelmed with feelings of happiness, Anakin folded the little piece of paper neatly and put it into a pocket of his tunic.

Then he went out of his room and into the living room, where Obi-Wan was already meditating. Anakin would have liked to fling his arms around Obi-Wan's neck right now but he knew Obi-Wan did not like to be disturbed during his morning meditation, so he better refrained from doing so. Nervously, Anakin sat down in a chair and waited impatiently until Obi-Wan would have finished his meditation. Finally, Obi-Wan turned around to face Anakin.

Anakin took a deep breath. "Thank you", and at last he was able to bring himself to say the word which he had denied Obi-Wan – and himself – for so long. "Thank you, Master. The starfighter is…is… wizard-great. Thank you very much."

Obi-Wan smiled. "I'm glad you like your present."

"It's the best present I've ever got", Anakin said beaming.

Obi-Wan's smile became broader. "Have you already hung it up?"

"Oh, um, no. I'm still too small. Could you help me?"

"Sure." Obi-Wan followed Anakin into his room. Anakin could hardly endure to watch Obi-Wan hold up the model. He was terribly afraid it could fall down and break. At long last the T-Wing 707 hung securely over Anakin's bed. It looked absolutely _amazing_. Anakin was not able to take his eyes off it.

"You like it there?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Yeah…" Anakin nodded eagerly. Obi-Wan turned to leave. "Wait!" Anakin shouted and grabbed Obi-Wan's hand. "Obi-Wan… Master, I…" There were so many things he wanted to say, things he had to apologize for, things he had to thank for. He did not know where to start. Embarrassed, his gaze rested on Obi-Wan's hand, which he still held on to. Obi-Wan did not clutch Anakin's hand but he did not shove it aside either. Suddenly an idea occurred to Anakin. It was rather a feeling and he acted on intuition when he seized Obi-Wan's hand and placed it on top of his own. He knew he had to do this. Because this was important. Because it meant so much to _Obi-Wan_.

"I, Anakin Skywalker, take you, Obi-Wan Kenobi, to be my Master." He locked eyes with Obi-Wan and saw faint surprise there. _This time it's not empty words, Master._ "I commit myself to support you and follow your instructions in the best of my knowledge and belief. I promise…I promise…um…" Anakin flushed madly. It just could not be true! Now he had really messed everything up by forgetting the words. Apologetically he looked at Obi-Wan but Obi-Wan did not seem to be mad at all, quite the contrary, he was grinning slightly.

"I promise to honour and respect…", he helped him on.

"Ah yes." Anakin cleared his throat. "I promise to honour and respect you and the Jedi-Order in all my actions and my thoughts. I pledge my loyalty to you from this day forward until the day of my Knighting."

Obi-Wan blinked. He still seemed to be between shock, surprise and joy but when he spoke the words, his voice was perfectly calm. "I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, take you, Anakin Skywalker, to be my Padawan. I commit myself to instruct you in the ways of the Force and to familiarize you with the Jedi-Code in the best of my knowledge and belief. I promise…" Obi-Wan hesitated briefly as though he expected Anakin to protest. "…to protect you with my life and to guide your life in the Force. I pledge my loyalty to you from this day forward until the day of your Knighting." Obi-Wan swallowed and squeezed Anakin's hand tightly.

There were still so many things standing between them, so many things they wanted to say (if they had been able to put it into words) but reciting those old vows was easier. Because once they would start apologizing, they might hurt each other again or they might misunderstand each other. And it was very well possible they would yell at each other again. Anakin knew Obi-Wan understood what Anakin wanted to tell him anyway. Just as Anakin understood Obi-Wan's message. It was quite simple, actually: _I'm sorry. I like you very much. I want you to become my Padawan._

**

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No more updates for the next two weeks because I'm going home for the Christmas holiday, and Christmas is family-time and not computer-time ;-) But I guess this is a nice chapter's end to stop before Christmas. Ok, I wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR AND MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU. ALWAYS… I hope to hear from you again in 2007 – you're wonderful readers/reviewers and I really enjoy writing this – thanks! Oh, I just realize they probably don't use _paper_ in a galaxy far, far away...hmm, ok, let's say the Jedi-Order and especially Obi-Wan are very traditional ;-)**


	22. Acceptance

**The end of this chapter was one of the very first scenes I had in mind when I started to write this story. I still like it very much. But maybe… it's just a bit too…lol, just read it and tell me what you think about it. What else can I say? Reviews are welcome… ah, they're more than welcome! ;-)**

imaprincess1: **Thank you SO MUCH! If you liked the last chapter, I think you'll like this as well. **

Phoenix Red Lion: **Thanks again! Anakin had to see how much pressure Obi-Wan gets from the Council and even from his friends because now he can fully appreciate what Obi-Wan does for him. They start to understand how each other's mind work ;-)**

Dark Austral: **Thank you! I'm really glad you liked all three chapters. Thanks!

* * *

**

_One week later_

Obi-Wan was worried. It was already late in the evening and Anakin had disappeared without a trace. Staying out so long without telling Obi-Wan was not like Anakin. Nervously, Obi-Wan was pacing up and down their quarters. He had already twice searched through the Temple, had checked any places where Anakin was likely to be. Why was it so difficult to listen to one's Master for a change? He had made himself very clear when he had told Anakin he _must not _stay out so late on his own. Obi-Wan was about to inform the Council and probably send a search party when the door opened and Anakin came in – safe and sound – carrying a huge box in his arms.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan was overwhelmed with a mix of relief and annoyance. "Where have you been? And what is _that_?"

Anakin pulled a face and dropped the box on the floor. "Open it."

"What _is _it?"

"Just open it!" Anakin seemed to be really offended now.

Frowning deeply and slightly peeved, Obi-Wan started to open the box. He stopped in confusion when he recognized what was inside. He would have recognized the model among thousands: an X-Wing 67A. Questioningly, he looked at Anakin. "What… am I supposed to do with it?"

Anakin pressed his lips together. "It's for you", he said angrily. "After all, I smashed yours. I wanted to make up for it, ok?"

"Ok…" Still thoroughly confused, Obi-Wan stared down at the X-Wing model. Why did Anakin suddenly think he had to make up for something? And _how_…? "Where did you get it?" he asked suspiciously.

"Stolen of course, what else?" Anakin yelled angrily. "Stolen, stolen – I'm just a slave boy and not a noble Jedi! How else could I get something like that if I didn't steal it?!" Tears glittered in his eyes and he furiously stamped on the ground. "I thought you'd maybe like it! I thought you liked the model so much and you were sad when I'd smashed it! I thought you'd be happy to have one again!" He wanted to run away but Obi-Wan grabbed his wrist. He turned Anakin around so he could look at him.

"I appreciate the fact you wanted to do me a pleasure", Obi-Wan said calmly, "but you cannot steal because of that. I know you wanted to do good but you just must not do anything like that. Tell me where you got it from and then we're going to go there together and bring it back and you apologize."

"I didn't steal anything, Obi-Wan", Anakin said desperately. "Why do you always expect the worst from me? Just because I've grown up as a slave? I know one mustn't simply steal anything. Why do you always expect the worst from me?"

Embarrassed, Obi-Wan let go of Anakin's wrist. "You…did not steal at all? But you said… But how – how _did _you get it?"

"I traded it in for the T-Wing 707. You can check in my room if you don't believe me. It's not there anymore."

"You traded it in for the T-Wing 707?" Obi-Wan asked disbelievingly.

Anakin immediately felt like being offended again. "Yes, I know, it was a stupid deal. The X-Wing is not worth half the 707. The dealer laughed up his sleeve when I suggested that deal." Anakin shrugged and pretended to be offhanded. "Sorry."

Obi-Wan was deeply touched. He could not believe Anakin had traded his beloved T-Wing 707. For him, Obi-Wan. "But…now you don't have a birthday present from me anymore."

Anakin hesitated, then he pulled a little piece of paper out of his pocket and showed it to Obi-Wan. "I've still got this", he said simply. Obi-Wan read the note: _Happy Birthday, Anakin. I hope you like your present and I really hope it is not already outdated and too lame. Obi-Wan. _What kind of nonsense had he written there? It sounded really stupid. He should have thought of something better. And Anakin wanted to keep this as his birthday present? On second thought, Qui-Gon had given Obi-Wan a _rock _for his 13th birthday, so who was he to talk about odd birthday presents?

Obi-Wan gave Anakin the crumpled piece of paper back. Anakin's young face revealed all his emotions: Uncertainty, hope, defiance, doubt and fear of being resented again. Obi-Wan was lost for words. So he just hugged Anakin. When Anakin snuggled against him, yes, almost _clung_ to him, Obi-Wan became painfully aware of how dearly Anakin needed love and affection. _**I** should have been the one to give it to him. He has no one else. _Anakin was shaking a little and Obi-Wan clumsily patted his back. "Thank you very, very much, Padawan", he whispered.

"It's only fair after I smashed your X-Wing just like that", Anakin replied. "I may not be a real Jedi but I know what fairness means, nonetheless."

And Obi-Wan had thought him immature! Sure, he had always known Anakin was very intelligent and learned quickly but until today he had regarded him only as child, a sometimes rather defiant child, to whom lightsabres and spaceships – toys – had been more important than anything. Now Obi-Wan considered for the first time Anakin might be ahead of the other Jedi-students, who had grown up in the Temple, protected from the cruel world outside, _because _of his origins, his past as a slave. He had seen more and he had had to endure more than most of the other Jedi of his age. Maybe Anakin's past was not a hindrance to become a "real Jedi" but rather an advantage.

"You are a real Jedi, Anakin", Obi-Wan said with utter conviction. "You are a very good Jedi and I couldn't wish for a better Padawan."

"Really?" Anakin asked hopefully.

"Of course… You still have much to learn but so have I. I know you're doing your best and that's the most important thing."

"Thanks, Master."

"Anakin… Padawan. There is something else I have to tell you. When Qui-Gon was dying he asked me to tell you how much he loved you. They were the last words he said."

"_What_?" Anakin abruptly broke out of the embrace and backed away. "You're telling me that _now_?!" He stared accusingly at Obi-Wan. "Have you any idea what it feels like not to be loved for more than a year? Have you any idea what it means to be only tolerated, to be a tiresome burden?"

"But it's not like that", Obi-Wan said shocked. "I –"

"But I have _felt_ like that! For one and a half year! Can you imagine what it feels like at all? You have friends – but I have no one! Everyone hates me because I'm the Chosen One and because I'm better in everything and because I'm so strong with the Force and because I've already had a Master at the age of nine! And the Council thinks I'm dangerous! You have no idea what they say about me!"

"But…you knew Qui-Gon loved you, didn't you…?"

"Did I? He never allowed me to accompany him on missions and when you were comatose he…yelled at me and things. He only brought me here because I'm the Chosen One!"

"That's nonsense, I just told you he said he loved you."

"But why haven't you told me _earlier_?"

Obi-Wan remained silent and stared sadly down at his feet. He really had not known about Anakin's sufferings. He had had no idea his Padawan was plagued by such thoughts. _But even if I had known – would I have told him earlier? _"Anakin, I'm so sorry", Obi-Wan, still staring at the floor, said quietly. "I just couldn't bring myself to tell you. I felt so… He died in my arms but all he thought about was you. He only talked about you and about your training that had to be continued and… I was with him but he didn't say anything to me."

"_Obi-Wan, you have to train him... He is the Chosen One. You have to train Anakin."_

"_Yes, Master, I will, I promise!"_

"_Teach him well…And tell him...I love…him…"_

With difficulty, Obi-Wan fought down the bitterness which threatened to overwhelm him again. No, he did not want to make Anakin suffer more from his jealousy than he already had. "Qui-Gon hesitated so long before finally accepting me as his Padawan and I had to prove myself... worthy to him again and again. And then he found you and because of you being the Chosen One and having more Midi-Chlorians, he just... replaced me. I felt like I wasn't good enough for him anymore. I know, nothing of this is your fault. But suddenly being unimportant and minor to Qui-Gon... hurt so much. And then even in death he was just caring about you. I just couldn't tell you."

For a long time there was an absolute silence. Obi-Wan kept staring at his feet. He did not even dare to breathe. He felt so miserable and empty and vulnerable. Suddenly he felt a cold hand briefly touch his own.

"You could not have saved him, Obi-Wan."

Bewildered, Obi-Wan looked at Anakin. "What do you mean?"

"It was not your fault. You would have saved him if it had been possible."

It was so simple, so logical, so plausible. Naturally, Obi-Wan would have done everything to save Qui-Gon's life. He would have died for him. But he had never been given a choice. He had not been fast enough. Because he was not faster. Had he been able to run faster, he would have done it. It was not his failure which had brought Qui-Gon's death. He was free from blame.

* * *

The next day, when Obi-Wan returned from a training session with a group of younglings, he discovered Anakin in his room. He was rummaging the coffer with Qui-Gon's personal belongings, which had been left untouched under the bed all the time. It stung Obi-Wan to see Anakin handling these remembrances of Qui-Gon so disrespectfully.

"What are you doing here?" Obi-Wan said angrily, took a blue rock out of Anakin's hand and placed it back inside the coffer. "These are Qui-Gon's belongings and I don't want you to touch them again, do you understand me?"

Anakin flinched. "I just wanted to look at them. I have the same right to do so as you. I was his Padawan as well."

Obi-Wan forced himself to become calm. "Yes, of course… You're right. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

Anakin shrugged. "That's alright."

"You may look at the things but please be careful."

"Of course." Anakin hesitated, then he showed Obi-Wan one of the holographs. "Do you know who this woman is? He has loads of holos of her."

"That's Tahl, a Jedi-Knight. She was Qui-Gon's best friend." That was all Anakin needed to know, Obi-Wan decided. At least for the moment. He knelt down on the floor next to Anakin and peered into the coffer. "I wonder if there's a meaning behind all these rocks", he said in thought.

"Qui-Gon told me he used to collect rocks when he was a child", Anakin explained.

"Really? I never knew that."

"He would bring rocks back from every mission on all the exotic planets he has been. His Master didn't like that at all. And then, on one mission, Qui-Gon had brought so many rocks with him he couldn't run quickly enough and then he stumbled and almost got himself killed because of his rocks. He said his Master really freaked out because of it and forbade him to ever touch a rock again. But Qui-Gon still smuggled at least one rock per mission with him."

"Maybe he had a story behind every rock." Obi-Wan sighed deeply. "I would have liked to know them…"

"Yeah… or maybe he saw some shapes in the rocks. Or he just thought they were beautiful. This one's beautiful." Anakin gave Obi-Wan the blue rock. "If you hold it against the light, it looks as if there are many, many waterdrops in it."

Obi-Wan held the stone against the window, through which bright sunlight shone, and really: The whole rock seemed to be full of tiny droplets. He swayed it and the drops started to dance. So Qui-Gon used to collect rocks as a child. And he had kept on doing so, even though his Master forbade him. Very, very slowly, a grin crept on Obi-Wan's face. That sounded just like Qui-Gon. A rebel at heart, even in his childhood. Qui-Gon had not told him much about his childhood and youth. Naturally. Qui-Gon had not liked to linger in the past. There were so many things about him Obi-Wan had never known – and was never going to know. And however much Obi-Wan regretted that – he was very glad to have Anakin with him now. After all, from Anakin he had learned Qui-Gon used to bring back rocks from planets as a child. Maybe they were able to help each other fill the gap Qui-Gon had left. "This one's really beautiful", he told Anakin when he gave him the rock back.

"May I take it into my room? I… would like to look at it more often."

"Qui-Gon certainly wouldn't mind you keep it."

"Do _you_ mind?"

"No, just take it."

"But you don't like it."

"It's alright, Padawan. Please, take it."

Anakin smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Master."

"You needn't thank me for it. As you said, we have the same right."

Lost in thought, Anakin examined the rock in his hands. "You don't go to Qui-Gon's memorial very often, do you?" he suddenly asked.

Obi-Wan was totally caught off guard by that direct question. "I don't like to go there", he answered evasively.

"Have you ever been there at all?" Anakin kept probing.

"No. Why are you asking?"

Anakin toyed with the rock in his hands. "I go there quite often. I like to be there because… because it's a nice place to remember Qui-Gon. If I'm very sad or desperate, I can find my peace there. You should go there too, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan shrugged. "I don't know…"

"Yes", Anakin confirmed. "Come on, let's go there right now."

What else could Obi-Wan have done but follow his Padawan? He could hardly say how much he was afraid, that he would not be able to endure standing in front of Qui-Gon's memorial. His heartbeat quickened with every step, and the urge to turn around and run away increased beyond bearing. Sickness rose within him and he tensed more and more.

"Qui-Gon's memorial is at the very end in the Garden of Memory", Anakin explained softly on their way. "It's a very nice place. It's under two big trees. A few days ago, the birds left the nest in one of the trees. There's only written Qui-Gon's name on the stone, because it's not important how long someone has lived and when exactly someone has died. All that matters are the memories, that's why they don't write the birth and death dates on the stones. Well, you probably know all of this… The birds shit a lot on Qui-Gon's memorial. I used to try to clean it but it doesn't help much, it just gets dirty again and again… Everyone can stay here as long as they want. No one will disturb you. If there are other Jedi, they usually give you a wide berth, so that everyone can remember or rethink in peace."

Obi-Wan nodded absently while he was trembling and his heart was tightening. They were now entering the Garden of Memory through a great archway and the first write memorials came into sight. So many beloved deceased, so much grief. Obi-Wan's sickness got worse and worse. Never in his life had he been so afraid.

"It won't be long now", Anakin said unperturbedly.

Obi-Wan could hardly feel anything but fear. He knew he could not do this. He was not strong enough for this.

"It's a bit of a shock when you see the memorial for the first time", Anakin told him. "I got really sick when it was suddenly in front of me – oh, don't worry, I didn't puke on it."

It took Obi-Wan some time to realise it was a joke. He was grateful for Anakin's attempts to encourage him and he tried to grin but failed miserably. Then suddenly he found himself standing in front of the white stone.

QUI-GON JINN

This was it. He was dead.

But it was not as horrible as Obi-Wan had imagined. It was not horrible at all. A bird chirped and Obi-Wan looked up into one of the enormous trees, where the sun glittered through little, light green leaves. The two trees towered regally into the sky and their strong roots furrowed the earth. Huge butterflies dreamily floated around a golden blooming bush next to another memorial (it was Tahl's). It was a place Qui-Gon would have liked. Being full of life and at the same time radiating deep calmness. Obi-Wan noticed Anakin was watching him. "You were right, it really is a nice place", he said, smiling weakly.

Anakin smiled warmly back. "I told you so." He stepped closer to Obi-Wan and leaned back against Obi-Wan's chest. Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around Anakin, and at the touch something started to give way within him. He did not fight back the tears any longer but let them flow freely. They stood like this for a long time in silence, staring at the memorial, each indulging in their own memories of Qui-Gon.

"Obi-Wan? How did he die?" Anakin suddenly asked softly.

Only now did Obi-Wan become aware Anakin had not known for one and a half year how his Master had died. Surely he had been brooding over it again and again or perhaps even imagining horrible stories. It must be cruel to not even have certainty about Qui-Gon's death. It took Obi-Wan some time to regain his voice, he did not want to open up that wound again, he knew it would be too painful to him, but Anakin had the right to know everything. So Obi-Wan started to tell him, in a halting voice at first, but soon more fluent. He did not leave out anything. He tried to remember everything for Anakin.

The peaceful surroundings helped him. The soft rustle when a breath of wind went through the treetops. The play between light and shadow on the white (though full of birds' shit) memorial. From time to time a bird's tweeting or an insect's buzzing. Anakin's warm body pressed to his own soothed him. He told Anakin everything: how the laser-walls had closed, how he had not been fast enough, how he had had to witness through the red veil how the Sith's red blade cut right through Qui-Gon's chest, how he, driven by hatred, had been able to defeat the Sith, how he had held his Master's weak body in his arms. When he tried to repeat Qui-Gon's last words, his voice faltered. Anakin just kept silent and waited patiently for him to continue. Obi-Wan tried to go on, and slowly he squeezed out the words in a broken voice. While he was speaking, the cold claw, that had clutched at his heart for so long, finally let go. It hurt so much but Obi-Wan accepted the pain.

When he had finished, he felt a little drop of water run down his arm which was wrapped around Anakin's chest. Anakin was crying silent tears, as well as Obi-Wan. He pressed Anakin more tightly against himself in order to show him he was not going to leave him alone in his mourning. _Not this time, Padawan. And never again. _

"I-I'm glad you were w-w-with him when he died", Anakin said finally, his voice choking with tears. "It was good you h-held him and he saw your face as the last thing. It must be terrible to die somewhere where you're completely alone. When I die, I want to die in the arms of someone I love too."

In one go, all the bitterness and jealousy Obi-Wan had ever felt towards Anakin, had vanished. _He_, Obi-Wan, had been with Qui-Gon when he had died. Qui-Gon had died in Obi-Wan's arms. There was no reason for jealousy. And finally, Obi-Wan remembered. He remembered how his Master, in spite of all his pain, had tried to give him a last smile. He remembered how a hand, trembling with the effort, had caressed his cheek and wiped a tear away.

"I hope it will take a very long time until you die", Obi-Wan said, "because I couldn't bear to loose you too."

Anakin chuckled softly. "I'll do my best to stay alive." They were silent again, then Anakin said: "I'm very glad about Qui-Gon's final wish."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm glad he saw to it that you became my Master."

_Oh. _"Why?" Obi-Wan asked surprised.

"Because you're the best Master ever", Anakin replied and Obi-Wan could almost sense his broad grin.

"That's nonsense", Obi-Wan argued. "Qui-Gon was a much better Master than me. And I'm probably the worst Master of the whole Temple."

"Who says so? Some cranks on the Jedi-Council, who think they're so clever? They think they're such amazing, wise Master but they don't know anything. You shouldn't listen to such idiots."

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan scolded him but he was not really angry.

"Anyway, I'm glad things turned out like this. Don't get me wrong", Anakin added quickly, "of course I'm _not_ glad Qui-Gon died. I'd like it best if Qui-Gon was still alive and I was your Padawan all the same."

It warmed Obi-Wan's heart to hear Anakin say this. "I wouldn't know what to do without you, Padawan", he said quietly. "I really mean it." And he meant it. Without Anakin, Obi-Wan probably would have never dared to go here. Without Anakin at his side, he maybe would have never got through this. He got terrible pangs of conscience at the thought Anakin had had to face this place all alone, without someone who had prepared him for what was awaiting him, someone who comforted him, someone he could lean on. Yes, it was Obi-Wan who leaned on Anakin and drew strength from the embrace. Normally, it should have been the other way around. "I'm a lousy Master, Anakin._ I _should comfort _you_. Not the other way around."

"Why? Shouldn't the Padawan support his Master as well? That's what I vowed to do anyway."

"Yes, sure, but… hmm. Thanks for being so patient with me."

Anakin giggled softly. "Qui-Gon once said you can be a bit difficult at times but if one makes a little effort, there are many good reasons to like you."

Obi-Wan wondered what reasons were there. He most certainly did not know them.

"And Qui-Gon said too, it does not need a reason to love someone", Anakin continued as if he had heard Obi-Wan's thoughts.

Tears were running down Obi-Wan's cheeks, he missed Qui-Gon more than ever, but at the same time he was filled with happiness and gratitude for having Anakin as his Padawan. Qui-Gon's final wish had given him the best possible present. A present from a Master to his Padawan. A much better present than lightsabre hilts, rocks or starfighter models.

"It's funny, isn't it?" Anakin said. "That you can be all happy and sad at the same time."

"That's just what I was about to say", Obi-Wan agreed.

"That's good, isn't it?" Anakin asked delightedly. "If Master and Padawan share the same thoughts and feelings."

"That's good, yes. But it is not bad either if we have different thoughts and feelings as long as we are honest with each other."

"I will be honest with you, Master. I promise. I know I… well, I have said things I didn't mean and I was silent when I should have said something and…"

"The same applies to me. But that's the past now. Qui-Gon would be so mad at us if he heard us talking like that. A Jedi must live in the Here and Now, remember?"

Anakin chuckled. "He would be completely mad at us. Ooh, I wouldn't want that. He's scary when he's angry."

"Absolutely."

"But how can you live without a past?" Anakin asked, serious again. "What would you do in bad times without your memories of good times? Do you have good memories of Qui-Gon?"

"Many. Many…" And the tears started to come again. "If you want to know I can tell you some of them… but another time, when I'm a bit less teary than today."

"You don't have to do this. I mean… I asked because I never knew… I just wanted to know how he died and if he was in… p-pain and if he…" Anakin's voice cracked too. "If you d-don't want to share your memories, that's really alright to me, Master."

"But I do want to share, Anakin. Padawan. I really do."

Never before had Obi-Wan opened himself so much to the Living Force like today. He felt all the life, the great trees' strength and the insects' bustling. He felt the warm wind on his skin, the wet tears on his cheeks and their salty taste on his lips. He felt pain, happiness and deep peace. For the first time he truly felt the bond between him and Anakin, a bond Qui-Gon had always insisted existed (Qui-Gon had just always been right…). And it grew explosively with every passing second and became stronger and stronger. Obi-Wan sensed something else too. It was very distinct. Qui-Gon was here. He was here, in the Force, he was here with Anakin and Obi-Wan.


	23. Anakin's Knighting

**I decided to send personal review replies for the last chapter because else the author's note would get too long again and I think I shouldn't write so many author's notes but rather post the story here ;-) Anyway, I hope all of you (who didn't send anonymous reviews) received your review reply. **

Phoenix Red Lion: **Thank you for your nice compliment! They absolutely do need each other to heal. Anakin had been quicker to get over Qui-Gon's death because he's so emotional, but Obi-Wan had it all buried up. Anakin was rather hurt by Obi-Wan's resentment / his reserved nature. And I agree, Anakin as a boy has a lovely heart… sigh… evil Palpatine! He took advantage of that and twisted it…**

Vanna: **Thank you very much for reviewing! About which free sites for betas do you speak? I'm really new in writing fanfiction and I don't know anything ;-) **

Vicky: **Thanks for reviewing! There is definitely more (still half the story to go) but Anakin doesn't want to tell Obi-Wan about Qui-Gon slapping him. Will Obi-Wan find out about him? Hmm… ;-)

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_About ten years later…_

Qui-Gon had come. Qui-Gon had come to accompany Obi-Wan on his way to the Council-Chambers. He had wished his Padawan good look for his trials. Qui-Gon had come, even though Obi-Wan had behaved more than badly earlier that day. Maybe it would have been better if he had punished Obi-Wan for his behaviour and had completely stayed away. But Qui-Gon had come nonetheless. Because he knew how important that day was to Obi-Wan and because he wanted Obi-Wan to keep it in good memory.

Should Obi-Wan do the same for Anakin now? Qui-Gon certainly would say "Yes!" But could one compare this situation to the situation more than ten years ago? Anakin had decided to do this alone. He had wanted it this way. Against Obi-Wan's orders, he had asked the Council for permission on taking his trials. Anakin had already been convinced for a long time he was ready for the trials before long, and he thought Obi-Wan held him back on purpose. After a loud row, Anakin had gone straight to the Council and had expressed his request. The Council had agreed. They saw no reason to hold someone with such incredible abilities, which he had proved on several missions, back any longer. That at least was what Anakin had said the Council had said. Obi-Wan assumed they only agreed to Anakin's request because they needed more Knights during the Clone Wars. Of course it made not much of a difference whether you fought as a Padawan or a Knight as it was only a title. But that title made all the difference to the armies the Jedi lead into the fights. Which fully trained soldier wanted to be commanded by an apprentice? After Obi-Wan had pointed this out to Anakin, there was an icy silence between Master and Padawan.

Undecided, Obi-Wan paced up and down his room. Anakin was probably already waiting in front of the Council-Chambers. By staying away from the ceremony, Obi-Wan could teach him a last lesson. Or he listened to his heart. Obi-Wan often wondered how to go about his Padawan the right way. Should he be strict or rather generous? Should he keep a distance between teacher and apprentice, should he demand respect, or should he open up himself and try to establish some closeness like between brothers? The last years had been difficult. The times when the term "Padawan" had been a term of endearment had been long gone. Instead of smiling encouragingly at his Master, Anakin's face contorted with suppressed anger nowadays whenever Obi-Wan called him his "very young Padawan-learner". Of course that was why Obi-Wan called him that. Sometimes he just needed to bring his headstrong Padawan back down to earth. The other Masters, who had already trained more than one Padawan, had assured him it was a normal process in growing up. That a Padawan started to distance himself more and more from his Master and went on his separate way. Obi-Wan, however, was utterly convinced Anakin was a very special case and the most complicated Padawan in the whole Temple. Oh well, in the whole galaxy.

_I wonder if he's nervous right now…_ With a resigned sigh, Obi-Wan set off.

His arms crossed over his chest, Anakin stood in front of the great door to the Council Chambers, throwing searching glances around again and again. Even here, Obi-Wan could feel his agitation. _Control your emotions, Padawan._

Anakin turned abruptly. He must have sensed Obi-Wan's presence in the Force. "Master!" he exclaimed when Obi-Wan approached him. Although Anakin tried very hard to hide his broad grin, his happily shining eyes betrayed him. "What are you doing here?" he asked nervously.

"Challenging you to a duel to the death", Obi-Wan said dryly. "Well, what could I possibly be doing here? Wishing you good luck for your trials of course."

"_Luck_?" Anakin repeated, his eyebrows raised. "I thought there is no such thing as luck; there is only the Force?"

"Since when have you been so fussy about such matters?" Obi-Wan countered.

Anakin shrugged lazily. "I've spent too much time in your company. It had to rub off some time, I guess."

"Well, then it's high time you finally get rid of me. Otherwise you're in danger of becoming a respectable Jedi", Obi-Wan said, smiling benignly.

Unexpectedly, Anakin threw his arms around Obi-Wan's neck and gave him a big hug. Little by little, Obi-Wan had partly got used to Anakin's temperament, and he had decided boisterous hugs did not go against the Jedi-Code. Nevertheless, he half-heartedly struggled against Anakin's hug. That was just the rite. "Anakin, get a grip on yourself, I thought you wanted to become a Jedi-Knight today!"

Grinning, Anakin let go of him. "Thanks for coming, Master. I was worried you'd still be angry."

"I _am_", Obi-Wan said grudgingly, "but I try to shove my personal needs aside." It was just always the same: He _could_ not be angry at Anakin for a long time. As soon as Anakin said something flattering and smiled apologetically at him…

"I'm sorry things turned out like that", Anakin said earnestly. "I didn't want to turn against you or annoy you."

"Yes. Focus on the present, Padawan." Didn't Qui-Gon tell that to him too on his day of knighting?

"Yes, Master." Anakin took a deep breath.

"You are nervous", Obi-Wan stated, shaking his head. "Why?"

"Why?! I'm going to take my trials and that's supposedly not that easy."

"Who would be able to pass the trials if not you? There is no reason for you to be nervous."

"Thanks for your faith in me, Master – wait a moment!" Anakin stopped himself. "So you're convinced I'm gonna pass the trials? You think I can do it blindfold, and _all the same _you did not want me to take the trials?"

"Anakin, we have discussed it more than enough and you know it's not about me doubting your abilities. That was never the reason why I thought you were not ready. You still have to learn – "

"Yes, yes, I know, I have to control my emotions – my anger. I've heard that often enough, thank you very much! But as far as I know, the sense behind the trials is to test if a Padawan is ready to be knighted."

Obi-Wan was tired of that discussion. They had had that far too often – without a result. "Enough of this", he said calmly, "otherwise we're going to yell at each other again. I wouldn't want that today."

"Ok…" Anakin was not satisfied but he stopped arguing. "Yes. I think I should go now." Expectantly, he looked at Obi-Wan.

Obviously, he wanted Obi-Wan to say something. What had Qui-Gon told him then? "I am proud of having been allowed to train you as my Padawan", Obi-Wan said, "and I am sure you will pass the trials."

"Thank you, Master." Anakin beamed and turned to go.

"And Anakin", Obi-Wan called him back. "If you fail, it will not be that bad either. I would be glad to have you with me a little longer."

"Just forget about it, I will not fail the trials on purpose! I'm truly sorry, Master." Laughing, Anakin turned around and entered the Council-Chambers.

It was an odd day. Everything seemed to go in a haze. Anakin coming out of the Council-Chambers, a broad grin spread over his face. Obi-Wan chopping of Anakin's Padawan-braid. The Jedi-Masters' compliments and congratulations.

Finally, they were out of the Council-Chambers. It was already late in the evening and the Temple halls were empty and dim. Side by side, Anakin and Obi-Wan were silently walking back to their quarters, which Anakin would leave in the near future. Again and again, Anakin's hand shot up to the spot where his Padawan-braid had been only hours ago. Obi-Wan had to grin at the memory of the nine-year-old boy, who had tried to fight so much against this braid and who had always flinched when touching that unwanted braid. It had been like that for the whole day now, memories and images non-stop flooding Obi-Wan's mind. Had Qui-Gon felt like this too, when Obi-Wan had been knighted?

"Are you alright, Master?" Anakin interrupted his musings.

"Yes. Are you too?"

Anakin nodded. The whole day he had been in high spirits and enthusiastic but now he was unusually silent and thoughtful.

"You can finally let your hair grow again", Obi-Wan said with a small smile, "and needn't have this ugly hedgehog-haircut anymore."

"Did I say that, _ugly hedgehog-haircut_?"

"Who else?"

Anakin smiled somewhat ruefully.

"You can go alone on missions", Obi-Wan continued, "and fly as fast as you want. And you can sleep as long as you want."

"Hm." Anakin did not seem as enthusiastic about these prospects as he should have been. They kept walking in silence for a while until he said abruptly: "I think those vows between Master and Padawan are stupid."

"Ah." Obi-Wan had learned. Earlier, he would have harshly rebuked his Padawan for insulting that hundreds of years old tradition. And he would have added, if Anakin wanted to criticise it, he please mustn't employ the word "stupid" but rather "unnecessary", "antiquated", "futile" or "vacuous". But Obi-Wan had learned. Among other things, he had learned how to handle Anakin and that meant he could not always be that fussy. Anakin was not dumb, most of the time there was much more behind his loose tongue statements, and if Obi-Wan was patient with his Padawan, he would find it out sooner or later. So now he considered what exactly about the vows was "stupid" in Anakin's opinion. Obi-Wan repeated the words in his mind: _I take you to be my Master. In the presence of the High Council I commit myself to support you and follow your instructions in the best of my knowledge and belief._ Sure, Anakin did not like to obey orders but he had never followed Obi-Wan's instructions anyway, so that could not be the big problem. _I promise to honour and respect you and the Jedi-Order in all my actions and my thoughts_. Maybe Anakin did not want to "honour" and "respect" the Jedi-Order. Obi-Wan was aware of the fact Anakin was not on friendly terms with the Council most of the time. Or he failed to see why he should respect Obi-Wan when Anakin was the better fighter and pilot of the two of them. Well, the vows were over anyway with the day of the Padawan's knighting, so Obi-Wan could not comprehend why all of a sudden Anakin would start to complain about them. _Oh_. Was _that_ the problem? _I pledge my loyalty to you from this day forward until the day of my Knighting… until the day of my Knighting. _

"What's wrong about the vows?" Obi-Wan asked in order to get his assumption confirmed.

"Why do you pledge loyalty only for a limited time? That's complete nonsense, isn't it?"

"You know the Jedi-Code forbids attachment. The relationship between Master and Padawan is often closer than the Jedi-Order approves of. But I suppose, on the other hand, such a close relationship is necessary. Children and young people need support, someone they can hold on to. in order to not let the bond become too deep, it is severed at the Padawan's knighting – in a symbolic act by chopping of the Padawan-braid."

"That's rubbish", Anakin griped. "Adults need support too – not only young people do."

Obi-Wan considered this for a while. It was hardly his place to contradict Anakin on this. After all, he had been so devastated by Qui-Gon's death and even though he had almost been 30 years old, he had badly needed support. "You are probably right", he admitted. "But no one ever said it's all over after the knighting. Most of the former Master-Padawan-teams stay friends. That just results from spending so much time together."

"Ok." However, Anakin did not sound happy with it at all.

Maybe Obi-Wan should have said he hoped they did not just "stay friends" but stay the very best of friends. Letting Anakin go was not easy for him as well. Sure, things had not always been easy between them – things had _hardly ever _been easy between them – but maybe that was why their bond had become so strong. There had never been another person Obi-Wan had felt so close to, not even Qui-Gon. "With the vows you pledge loyalty until the day of knighting", Obi-Wan said, "but it doesn't mean it can't last longer. It's just not your _duty _then anymore. For example, you're not bound to follow my instructions anymore."

"Well, ok." Anakin still did not sound happy.

"The Council has given me a new assignment", Obi-Wan told him.

"Did they? Where to?" Anakin pretended interest.

"Tzatzami L. The planet was lost to the Separatists a few months ago and now they use it as their control centre. The mission is about spying on their plans. Quite a tricky thing."

"I'd think so."

"There's a snag."

"Aha?"

"I'm going to need a terrific pilot who is able to manoeuvre a ship into Tzatzami L's orbit without their defences noticing."

Understanding spread on Anakin's face and he tried to hold back his grin. "Any idea who could do that?"

"I asked the Council if you could join me on this mission."

"And? What did they say? Do they agree?"

"Yes, they thought they should let me have my way after you were already knighted without my assent. So I'm at least able to take care of you a bit longer."

"Wait a moment", Anakin said scandalised. "Who takes care of whom here? Who saved your life six times already?"

"Ok, ok, I admit that's another reason why I want you to have with me. So… will you join me?"

"Do I have another choice? I can hardly leave you alone for a second without you trying to get yourself killed. When do we leave Coruscant?"

"Tomorrow half past four. Half past four in the _morning_."

"Half past four in the _morning_? You can't be serious!"

"I'm sorry…"

"Argh, of course, _you can sleep as long as you want_… I knew it couldn't be that easy…"

Obi-Wan gave him a friendly pat on the back. "I suggest you better rest now, so that you will be bright and lively tomorrow morning. We have a mission to do."

"Sounds like a sensible idea", Anakin sighed. They went back to their apartment and packed their things they would need on missions. Suddenly, Anakin stopped. "Um, I almost forgot… I've always wanted to give it back to you." He pulled his just cut Padawan-braid out of the pocket of his tunic and put it in Obi-Wan's hand. "It's yours anyway."

Obi-Wan let the long braid run through his fingers and examined it thoughtfully. The hair was matted, dirty and knotty. He searched for the spot where Obi-Wan's old braid had been tied to Anakin's. He could not find it anymore. Time had made them sort of grow together. You could not tell anymore where one started and the other ended.

"You know, when you gave it to me, when you were knighted and I became Qui-Gon's Padawan, I didn't understand anything. I mean, I knew nothing about old Jedi traditions. I was surprised you kept your braid at all because normally you don't keep old hair, right? And I would have been so glad then to be rid of such a stupid thing like a braid, I definitely would have thrown it right away … And I couldn't understand why I should tie such old and yucky hair to my own. I mean, why couldn't I just make a braid out of my own cut hair? Qui-Gon never explained to me what it means. That the Padawan-braid is a symbol, part of a Jedi's life, symbols his achievements and so on. I guess he wanted me to find out myself. Well, I did and I really got a bad conscience then. So I vowed to myself to give it back to you. Well, here you are. Your old Padawan-braid." Anakin smiled somewhat awkwardly.

"Well, yes. Hm. It _is_ yucky." Obi-Wan chuckled softly, pocketed the braid and then looked at Anakin and shrugged. "It's _ours._"

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**You know, originally I wanted to stop here and just write an epilogue. I don't know what happened… the epilogue turned out to be just as long as the story itself. So I'd say Part One is finished and it's time now for Part Two. I need six reviews now. I absolutely need _six_ reviews because then I will have 100 reviews ;-) That would be so great!!!**


	24. Mustafar

**Here starts Part Two! A few things you should know before you start to read: Everything in Episode II happened exactly as in the movie. Events in Episode III happened much the same as they did in the movie until where this chapter starts. However, I made slight alterations (about the Jedi purge for example) but I can't tell you now which exactly ;-) You will find out reading.**

**And thanks to everyone for your reviews! I only asked for six but you gave me ten. I didn't expect that… THANK YOU!!!!!!! **

Maggie **and **tenshi: **Thank you very much for reviewing. I'm glad you like this story and I hope you enjoy Part Two!

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_One year later_

The two ice blue blades crossed, a perfect contrast to the red-hot fire. Flames erupted all around them, lava hissed, but Obi-Wan did not pay attention to it. His focus was solely on the man opposite him.

A murderer. A creature of darkness. A Sith.

His Padawan. His best friend. His brother.

Anakin.

Obi-Wan did not have time to sort his emotions out. The lightsabre-duel demanded everything from him. A little inattention and his life would be over. Obi-Wan wished to just die. Here and now. And all of this would be over. This nightmare... But he must not just die. He must fight. Fight and win. It was his duty. His duty towards the Jedi-Order and the galaxy. It meant he had to kill Anakin. Obi-Wan had had many horrible experiences in his life. Witnessing helplessly his Master being killed was horrible. Walking through the burnt down ruins of his former home, the Jedi-Temple, was horrible. Watching a security recording about his former apprentice bowing to another Master, a Sith-Master, was horrible. His best friend wanting to kill him was horrible. But _having_ to kill _his_ best friend was the worst of all.

It would be the best if both of them died here. Obi-Wan knew he would not be able to go on living after striking Anakin down. Maybe he could grab Anakin and they would both fall into the lava's depths. _When I die, I want to die in the arms of someone I love. _Obi-Wan winced at that memory. Anakin took advantage of this little moment of inattention and forced him back with a series of wild blows. Was this man, whose eyes glowed triumphantly at catching Obi-Wan at the wrong foot, really the same person as the boy who had once said that? _Twisted by the dark side, young Skywalker has become. The boy you trained, gone he is . . . Consumed by Darth Vader. _Obi-Wan had to accept that was true. There was only Vader. _This is what will happen if you fail, my very young Padawan._ Obi-Wan had not noticed the indications. He had not saved his Padawan from falling for the Dark Side. He had broken the promise he had given to Qui-Gon: He had not taught Anakin well.

"I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you!" But he did not get through to Anakin anymore. It was too late. With a desperate exertion, he reached for the Force and jumped toward the safety of the black sandy edge of the lava river. "It's over, Anakin!" he yelled in desperation, hoping against better knowledge Anakin would accept his defeat. "I have the high ground!"

"You underestimate my power!" Anakin snarled.

"Don't try it." _Please, just stay where you are. Stay on your worker droid and go away from me. Drown in the lava, burn in the lava, but don't force me to continue this fight!_

But Anakin did not listen. Lifted by the Dark Force, he followed Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan jerked up his lightsabre – and cut through Anakin's left arm. Anakin screamed out in terrible pain, the cut off arm and the lightsabre fell down and rolled into the lava. At the same time, Obi-Wan's lightsabre fell down too. Maybe it was the vigour of the lightsabre colliding with the arm – the exhaustion from the worst battle of his life. Maybe it was the panic at what he had done.

His vision.

He had vowed to himself to never let it come true.

With much pain, Anakin got back on his feet again, and his mechanical hand seized Obi-Wan's lightsabre, which lay untouched on the black sand. Obi-Wan turned around and fled. He fled from his vision which was becoming reality. Anakin roared something at him but it was drowned by the engine sounds of a ship landing nearby. The Chancellor's shuttle. Obi-Wan doubled his speed. Padmé was still there. He had to save her. If she had not died already. Killed by Anakin, her husband.

When Obi-Wan reached the Naboo Cruiser, he was met by a very anxious C-3PO.

"Master Kenobi, Sir! R2 and I have brought Miss Padmé on board. R2 says her life functions indicate she is in a state of unconsciousness – "

"We have to leave this place, quick!"

"Might you be able to do anything for her?"

"I'll see what I can do but, please, come on now!" Finally, the droid was inside the ship, Obi-Wan flung himself behind the controls and did a "turbo-start". Anakin had taught him that. How old had he been then? 15? 16? He had explained everything very patiently to his Master, had shown him the correct buttons and hand gears again and again… Certainly, Anakin would have become a fine Master. _Enough of this! _Obi-Wan pressed a hand against his forehead while he tried desperately to focus on nothing but a simple jump to hyperspace. When stripes of light appeared behind the windows, they were finally in safety. But Obi-Wan did not find relief. His worries now were for Padmé. If she and the child died as well…

Bail Organa had sent him the coordinates of the nearest safe medcenter. Obi-Wan did not leave Padmé's side for a moment. The first thing she asked, when she was conscious for a short time, was, "Obi-Wan? Is Anakin alright?"

"He is alive", he answered in a hoarse voice.

"Anakin… I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry…" She was delirious and grabbed his hand. "Anakin…" She did not recognise him. He weakly squeezed her sweaty hand.

"Medically, she is completely healthy", the voice of a medical droid chimed in. "For reason we can't explain, we are losing her."

Obi-Wan jumped up. "She's dying?" The last bit of his strength left him. She would die too. No one would be left but him.

"We don't know why", the medical droid informed him in its always monotonous tone. "We need to operate quickly if we are to save the babies."

"Babies??!!" A part of Obi-Wan faintly registered Bail Organa was with them in the medical centre.

"She's carrying twins."

Obi-Wan was not really surprised by the droid's statement. But maybe he was just not able to feel anything anymore. He could not believe Padmé was dying. Strong, kind Padmé was dying. Betrayed and left by the man who was supposed to love her. Had Obi-Wan had the strength to summon up any feeling, he would have been furious at Anakin for leaving her alone in her death and the birth of their children. So this was it: The strength of love. Powerless against the strength of the Dark Side.

Padmé was having twins. A boy and a girl. Luke and Leia.

Obi-Wan held the tiny beings in his arms while Padmé gasped their names in a last effort. Then, for a little moment, she was suddenly completely clear again. She recognised him and grabbed his hand.

"Obi-Wan…there…is good in him. I know there is…still…"

Those were her last words.

In silent grief, Obi-Wan sat next to her, caressing the cold, white back of her hand with his thump. Luke (or Leia?) whimpered softly. They would never get to know their mother. Nor their father. They would grow up in a world full of enemies, hunted by the Emperor. And by their father. The Jedi-Temple, where they should have been trained, existed no more. Burned down. By their father.

"Master Obi-Wan?"

When he recognised the voice, Obi-Wan whirled around. "Master Yoda! You're…alive. But… I saw the Chancellor's shuttle…"

Yoda tiredly rested on his gimer stick. "Failed I have. Defeat him not I could. To exile the last remaining of us Jedi have to go. 32 younglings and Padawans survived. Saved them by using a secret tunnel out of the Temple Master Kwin-Sen did. Of five other Knights who survived I have heard. Bring them to Dagobah I will. There, safe they will be. Well?" It was very obvious what Master Yoda wanted to hear.

"Well… I could not defeat him. Anakin is still alive."

"_Darth Vader_ is still alive", Yoda corrected him strictly. "Anakin Skywalker has already died." Obi-Wan nodded dutifully. "Too strong for you he was?"

"My attachment to him was too strong."

"Then failed you have."

Obi-Wan averted his gaze. He did not want to talk about it. "Master, there are two more children you need to take care of. Padmé… Anakin… they were… they had… Senator Amidala is the mother of twins and… Anakin is the father."

"I know. Told me this, Bail Organa did. Take them to Dagobah, I will not. A danger they are to the other Jedi. Search for them the Sith will."

"What?!" Obi-Wan stared down at the Jedi-Master in desperation. "You cannot leave them alone. They…" He helplessly trailed off.

"Left alone, they will not be. Offered to adopt the girl, Bail Organa did."

"But they are Force-sensitive. They need to be trained in the ways of the Force. I could train them", Obi-Wan offered. "I could bring them far away from Dagobah so they will not endanger the other Jedi."

"Still so certain you are. Not more careful you have become after what happened to your young Padawan?"

The remark stung but Obi-Wan did not give up. He locked eyes with the little, wise Jedi-Master. "I know I made grave mistakes. I will not repeat them. Please, Master, let me train them." He hesitated but then he added, "Anakin would have wanted it that way."

"_Aha!_" Yoda hit his stick on the floor and one of the babies started to whimper again at the sound. "Again you believe a duty you have to fulfil? Like the promise you gave to your former Master?"

Obi-Wan gritted his teeth. This conversation was more and more becoming torture. He went to the crying baby, took it in his arms and rocked it gently. "This is not about me. It's not for conscience sake. I don't want to prove myself or anything. I just want…" _Just **what** do you want? Be a father to them? Give love to them? Where's love in you now after all that has happened?_ The baby in his arms did not calm down but cried loudly now. "Shh, shh, everything's alright", Obi-Wan tried to soothe it but it just cried more loudly and its little face contorted and got red with the effort.

"Feel your sadness he can", Yoda said thoughtfully. "Strong the Force runs, in the Skywalker line. Our last hope, they may be."

_I see. That's why you don't want **me** to train him. After all it was **me** who trained the man who set the Jedi-Temple on fire. _Carefully, Obi-Wan laid Luke back next to his sister into the bed, where he slowly calmed down until his crying was only a soft whimper. Obi-Wan felt so utterly helpless watching these two tiny, lonely beings. There was nothing he could do for them. He was not allowed to raise them. He could not even soothe them.

"More important lessons there are to learn than the ways of the Force", Yoda continued. "Learn them they can without our help. When the time comes, bring them to us the Living Force will. Until then, wait we will, watch and learn."

"So what will happen to the boy, to Luke?"

"To Tatooine. To his family, send him."

"I will take the child there myself, and watch over him."

"Very well. Shield Luke's presence from Darth Vader your presence may. Hmm. Then the time for us to part has come. May the Force be with you, young Obi-Wan."

"May the Force be with you, Master Yoda." Sadly, Obi-Wan watched the old Jedi-Master leave. Guilt-ridden he stared at the twins, who had fallen asleep in the meantime. They looked so peaceful, not knowing what awaited them in their future. _I was not strong enough to kill the man who was like a son to me. Will you be strong enough to kill your father?_


	25. A New Life

**Originally, I wanted to post this in two chapters but as each was so short I put them together. And then I realized they somehow were parallel in a way and I really liked it. So the next chapters will be like that: First Anakin's POV, then Obi-wan's POV. I hope you like it!**

Jedi Knight 13: **I'm really glad you liked the last chapter because it was really difficult to write and I'm still not very happy with it. But of course rewriting the Mustafar-sequence is not... easy. Not if there's such a great movie and such a great novelization of it. I mean, how could anyone ever top George Lucas and Matthew Stover? ;-)**

Sentrosi: **Windu is dead too, yes, it happened exactly like in the movies. What can the few Jedi do against the millions of Stormtroopers... well, even the _Ewoks _were able to beat them ;-) I never saw the Stormtroopers as the big threat because - at least in the original trilogy - they never shot anyone, did they? If they had cornered someone they just always said "Hands up!" and waited until there was a miraculous rescue for that someone ;-) But it's good you reminded me of that fact because I had completely forgotten the Stormtrooper-problem. I guess I'll just have to add a few lines somewhere.**

Dark Austral: **Yes, Obi-Wan really wanted to train Luke and Leia because he feels so lost and needs a purpose and he believes it is his duty to train them. And he also wants to do this for Anakin.**

Phoenix Red Lion: **Thanks a lot! Yoda was _definitely_ rude. And yes, he wasn't able to kill his former Padawan either - I hadn't thought of that when I wrote the last chapter but you're right of course. Cool, that surely gives my story more depth ;-) Attachments are definitely good but sometimes they can make you weak and the Jedi probably just saw that danger, and never realised that attachments can also make you very strong.

* * *

**

_One week later…_

_Crack. Crack. Crack._

Anakin bent a finger, _crack_, and straightened it again, _crack_. It took some time to get used to a mechanical arm. Anakin had two of them now, thanks to Obi-Wan, that traitor, that hypocrite, that…! The thought about Obi-Wan did exactly what Anakin wanted it to do: It made his anger rise. Anakin lived on it. Oh yes, he was powerful. More powerful than the Jedi had ever dreamt of. Or maybe they had dreamt of it. In their worst nightmares. They had feared his power and because of that they had never told him about the true secrets of the Force. Palpatine had done that. Anakin clenched his fists. It did not work so well with his left hand. The middle finger and the pinkie bent into the wrong direction. It looked absolutely _pathetic_. Furiously, he reengaged in his finger exercises. At the beginning, even the easiest everyday practices were a nearly insuperable barrier with a mechanical arm. At least, this time it was only his left arm. Also, he had quite an experience dealing with new mechanical arms. Last time he had had help. Obi-Wan had patiently bent every phalanx of the fingers back and forth until Anakin understood how to coordinate the movement himself. Pa- _No, don't think about her, don't think about her! Don't even think her name! _Immediately, all the black durasteel fingers of his left hand stood up with a loud _crack_. Naturally, it did not hurt, but Anakin winced from the phantom pain nevertheless. _Don't think about it. Just forget her, don't linger in the past, the present is the most important moment._ Now calling those Jedi-wisdoms to mind was like an irony of fate. _They have twisted me so much!_ Why had no one but him seen what the Jedi really were like? Anakin would have liked to explain it to Obi-Wan but there had been no time for something like that. "As he so badly wanted to kill me straightaway…"

"That's rubbish."

Anakin jumped and whirled around. He could not see a speaker anywhere.

"He most certainly did not want to kill you."

He knew that voice, but no, that was impossible! "Who are you?" he demanded to know. "Show yourself!"

"I had hoped you would still remember me, Ani."

_Ani_ – that was the limit! He was Darth Vader, Sith-Lord, feared by the whole galaxy – he was not _Ani_… "I have no idea what this is meant to be about but I do _not_ think it funny!"

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" The voice sounded rather amused.

"Yes, that is a threat", Anakin snarled. Unfortunately, he did not know how to go on. What was he to do against an incorporeal voice? All his Dark Power could not help him here. "Will you kindly tell me what this is all about?!" Against his will, Anakin got scared little by little. What _was_ this all about? It could not possibly be real, could it?

"I don't know you anymore", the voice said, not amused this time but rather sad. "You mete out orders and threats… What has happened to the helpful boy with the big heart, I found on Tatooine?"

"The Jedi destroyed him", Anakin spat furiously.

"No, you did that yourself. Your anger destroyed you."

"Why are you asking me questions if you have already your Jedi-wisdom-answers?! I don't have to listen to this! I've already been told this rubbish by Obi-Wan!" Anakin got up from his chair, ran into another room and locked the door, which did not help: The voice followed him nonetheless.

"It's not to late yet, Ani", it said urgently. "Turn back and rejoin the Jedi. There are survivors. Together with them you can destroy the Sith. Fulfil your destiny. You can bring balance to the Force."

"I'm not a Jedi anymore and never will be again. The Jedi are traitors. They are enemies of the Rep-… the Empire."

"Ani, don't you see?! The Sith are the traitors! Sidious is the traitor. He promised you to save Padmé. Well? Did he do it? No! He _betrayed_ you."

"Don't you say her name! DON'T YOU SAY HER NAME!!!" Jars, machines, screens, chairs and mechanics started to explode all over the room. "IF YOU EVER SAY HER NAME AGAIN, I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL – I WILL – "

"How can you still be on his side after all he did to you?!"

"GO AWAY! SHUT UP! GO AWAAAAYYYY!!!"

That moment, the doors opened and Palpatine – Darth Sidious came in. "What is going on here, Lord Vader? Why are you screaming?"

Anakin was panting heavily. "I – everything's – alright. I was just – practising."

Darth Sidious took a look around the room and he seemed to like what he was seeing. "Gooood. Very good, my apprentice. I feel you get stronger in the Force."

Gratefully, Anakin bowed. The voice had finally left. His Master had saved him.

* * *

_On Tatooine, two years later…_

"Mister Kenobi, Mister Kenobi, please! Hello? Are you there? Please, I need your help! Mister Kenobi! Help me! Please open the door, I need your help!"

The piercing voice of a woman made Obi-Wan jump on his hard cot. He quickly got up and the movement gave him a hard ache in his back. _I am certainly getting old_, he thought while hurrying to open the door. Outside waited Beru Lars, panic written all over her face, her hands trembling.

"Mister Kenobi, thanks goodness you're here, please, you have to help me!"

She was alone. Obi-Wan gulped. "Where's Luke?" he asked urgently.

"Luke? He – he is with the neighbours. I – Mister Kenobi, Owen – my husband – he is seriously injured. I just found him in the Jundland wastes and he's… he's…" She choked.

Obi-Wan grabbed his cloak and a first aid kit and fastened a blaster to his belt. "Lead me there. Is it far?"

"No – no. It's… close."

"How did you get here? By speeder?"

"I rode on an eopie."

"You came here all on your own?" Obi-Wan asked while putting a hand on the shaking woman's shoulder, gently prodding her to go. "The Jundland wastes are not to be travelled lightly."

"Halg and Gunda came with me. They stayed with Owen. There – over there…" She pointed a trembling finger in the direction of a small hill. They approached two moisture farmers bent over another person, who lay on the ground. Next to them lay the remnants of a speeder. Obi-Wan immediately recognised the tracks in the sand. A path created by several feet. Single file to hide their numbers. Eyeing him suspiciously, the farmers made way for Obi-Wan. He knew he had quite a reputation here. Kenobi, the crazy hermit, the loony wizard. Now they probably expected him to do some sort of miraculous cure. Obi-Wan knelt down to examine Owen Lars more closely. He did not look good. There was a deep gash at the side of his head, blood intermingled with sand, at least one of his arms was broken and he was unconscious. Obi-Wan cautiously laid his fingers on Owen's forehead and tried to wake him with the Force. Owen shuddered and grunted in pain.

"Mister Lars, can you hear me?" Obi-Wan asked him. He did not get an answer but just another groan. "He needs water…"

"Um, here." One of the farmers handed Obi-Wan a water bag. Obi-Wan carefully lifted up Owen's head a bit and slowly poured water down his throat. It did not make things better. Owen started coughing and spewing out blood. Uneasily, Obi-Wan looked underneath the fabric of Owen's farmer's clothes, and his fears were confirmed: the stomach was full of bluish bruises. Probably from the Tusken Raiders' clubs. Behind him, Beru gave a dry sob.

"I'm sorry, I can't do much here", Obi-Wan turned to her.

"Will he die?" Beru whispered in horror.

Obi-Wan checked in the Force and there he found nothing to comfort her. "I'm afraid, vital organs have been damaged. However, he might still recover. If the fever gets lower and if he can take something to drink or eat. We can bring him into my house at first. It would be too dangerous to carry him the whole way back to yours." Obi-Wan turned to the farmers. "Maybe you could send a speeder – I don't have one myself and this one's unusable – so Mrs Lars will be able to drive her husband home."

"Yes." They looked sympathetically at Beru. "He will be fine", they assured her respectively.

Tears glistening in her eyes, Beru nodded dutifully. When the two farmers had left, Obi-Wan very cautiously carried Owen inside his house (or rather: little cave). While treating Owen's wounds with bacta, he tried to make Beru speak so she would not drown in her desperation. "When did it happen? Today?"

"He did not return yesterday evening. I was so worried and this morning I asked Halg and Gunda for help and so – so we went here. I should have gone to look for him yesterday, then he would still…"

"You couldn't have come here at night. You wouldn't have found him in the darkness. Besides, it's dangerous enough to be in the Jundland wastes at day. They could have got you too."

"I should have gone looking for him yesterday…" she whimpered again.

"You did the right thing", Obi-Wan assured her. "And Owen is not dead yet."

About an hour later, a teenage boy with a speeder arrived. "Hiya." He bravely shook Obi-Wan's hand. "Gunda told me you need a speeder."

"Yes, thank you very much for coming."

They heaved Owen onto the speeder's back seats. The boy's face went pale when he saw Owen's injuries. "Shit, that looks…" He grimaced. "Sorry", he apologised to Beru. "He… will be fine."

"It's alright, Biggs. Of course he will be fine. As long as you don't crash us into a wall or anything", she replied in a false cheer.

Obi-Wan nodded encouragingly at her. "Take care. I'm sure he -" He stopped himself because he did not want to repeat what everyone else had already said. And he knew it did not help Beru. Because it just was not true. He was not sure Owen would be fine, no, he feared the worst.

"Mister Kenobi, couldn't you – couldn't you come with us, please?" Beru pleaded quietly. "I – I don't know what to do, I know nothing about such injuries, and if something happens and I'm on my own… I would feel much better if you were around."

"Of course I will come with you if you want me to", Obi-Wan replied in surprise. This was something new. He remembered when he had brought Luke to them.

"_If you ever need my help, I will be glad to be of assistance."_

"_No, thank you, we can very well take care of ourselves."_

"_I'm sure of that, but in case –"_

"_Would you please leave now? No offence, but we would prefer if you stayed away from our farm."_

"Thank you very much", Beru said softly and shakily smiled at him.

"You're a Jedi?" The boy suddenly asked while he drove them to the Lars' farm.

"You mean me?" Obi-Wan tried to sound casually.

"Sure."

"What gives you the idea?"

"Well, I've heard spacepilots talk and they said Jedi can do all sort of things like making things fly and things."

"Is that so? I've always heard the Jedi were traitors to the Empire."

"Yeah, I heard that too. Can't blame the guys, though. If I wouldn't live here in the Outer Rim I'd become a Jedi too and fight the Empire and shoot down Stormtroopers and things. Anyway, are you a Jedi or are you not? I mean, Tatooine is the perfect place for someone to hide, isn't it? So you're a Jedi hiding from the Empire, right? You better be careful because if you're on the run and the Stormtroopers come to Tatooine because of you, you'll be in trouble. The people here don't like it if you meddle in things."

"They needn't worry because I'm not a Jedi. I'm just a normal man who wants a quiet life."

"Camping out in the Jundland wastes, you call that a quiet life? No one in his right mind would do that. You must be a Jedi, right? Right?"

"Well, if I _was_ indeed a Jedi and could make things fly, I wouldn't need a speeder, would I?"

"Ah. Fair point there. So, are you a wizard then?"

"Biggs!" Beru intervened. "Would you stop bothering Mister Kenobi with your silly questions? And would you please drive at bit more slowly?"

Sighing to himself, Obi-Wan leant back in his seat. To him, this was not fast at all. Not after flying with Anakin for so many years.


	26. Dreams and Fairytales

**I don't know how four-year-old English/American children speak, so don't get angry if Luke talks a bit oddly for a four-year-old. He's a bit premature - that's just the Force in him ;-)**

**Thanks for reviewing:**

Phoenix Red Lion: **Does Anakin still have Obi-Wan's lightsabre? - Yes, he still has it, and that's all I can say to that for now ;-) You're too observant...lol, I kind of hoped people wouldn't pay much attention to that little detail...**

Sentrosi: **You're cold? Let this little chapter warm your heart ;-)**

Jedi Knight 13: **Thanks for the lovely compliments again! "His Master had saved him" means just that Sidious has saved him from Qui-Gon's voice because the voice faded as soon as Sidious entered the room and Anakin thought it was really scary he heard Qui-Gon's voice again. But, in another sense, Qui-Gon also kind of saved him because he makes Anakin angry/evokes some emotions in him and thus saves him from becoming completely indifferent. **

Geri K: **You're really hard with Qui-Gon. Poor guy... ;-) I wouldn't agree that there was already evil in Anakin when he was a nine-year-old boy. Of course, he was a danger because so much power accumulated in one single person is always dangerous. However, I think if he hadn't been trained, Sidious would have turned him to the dark side nonetheless, and perhaps Qui-Gon thought that by training Anakin and guiding him to use his powers in a _responsible_ way, the danger could be avoided. Whatever... Qui-Gon will do his best to get little Ani back.

* * *

_Two years later…_**

… _Anakin had still not got used to his new freedom. Having nothing to do, and Obi-Wan not telling him what to learn and practise, was strange. Indecisively, Anakin took a look around his room. It was rather empty. Strictly speaking, it looked much like the room he had once taken over from Obi-Wan thirteen years ago. Spontaneously, he grabbed his lightsabre and set off on his way for the training room. Maybe he would find a good sparring partner there for a little duel. Hopefully Obi-Wan because there was really no one else who was a match for Anakin. Master Yoda perhaps, but, honestly, who wanted to spar with a little troll? That would only give Anakin backaches. _

_Obi-Wan was indeed there but he was already practising with someone else. A skinny girl with shining black hair skilfully blocked an attack by Obi-Wan with her green lightsabre. _

"_Very good", Obi-Wan praised her._

_The girl wiped a sweaty strand of hair out of her face and beamed. "Thank you, Master."_

_Suddenly there was a painful sting in Anakin's chest. It had been one week now, only one week he had been knighted, and Obi-Wan already had a new Padawan. Anakin felt like some goods produced on the assembly line, which had to be handled in a hurry. One Padawan trained, chop-chop, next one please, chop-chop, hurry up, supply is needed… Full of jealously, Anakin watched how Obi-Wan corrected his Padawan's grip on her lightsabre, how he very slowly and very patiently demonstrated a certain strike to her. How he praised her when she finally did it halfway right at the eleventh try. How she rejoiced. **Stop grinning so stupidly, you complacent thing! **If looks could kill, the girl would have joined the Force before long. Slowly, Anakin fully understood what Obi-Wan must have felt like when Qui-Gon had wanted to teach Anakin instead of him. **At least Obi-Wan trained me to the end – I guess I should be grateful. **But right now, Anakin did not feel grateful at all. _

_When Obi-Wan and his Padawan had finished training (she bowed to him and thanked him for the training – what a bootlicker!), Anakin tackled him after the girl had left. "Who was that girl?"_

"_Her name is Reena Tabiry."_

"_She's a lousy swordsman", Anakin said sullenly._

_Obi-Wan shrugged. "Well, sometimes she's a bit heavy-handed. I suppose it's because her bond to the Force is not very strong yet. But there are certainly worse. If you taught classes of younglings or Padawans you would see what I mean."_

"_I did that yesterday, Master Yoda asked me to help him but –"_

"_Did you? That's nice, Anakin", Obi-Wan said enthusiastically. "Did you like it? Did the children like you?"_

"_But I've never seen someone as unskilful as her", Anakin finished his sentence. "Why did you choose someone that incapable as your Padawan?" he burst out. _

_Obi-Wan looked at him in surprise. "What gives you the idea she is my Padawan?"_

"_She's not?" Anakin asked, surprise now on his part. _

"_No. Should she?"_

"_I… I don't know. I thought – I thought…" Anakin stammered. Yes, what **had** he thought? On the one hand, he was really relieved Obi-Wan did not already have a new Padawan, but on the other, this situation was becoming thoroughly embarrassing. He probably had just behaved like a little child. Urgh, if Obi-Wan knew… Well, he seemed to know because he grinned slightly amused. _

"_Don't worry, my old Padawan, I will not take a new Padawan so quickly. Now I've finished training you, I'll need a few years of rest."_

"_I never said...", Anakin argued but again he did not know how to go on. "I just thought…" Oh no, why did he have to blush now?! That really topped the lot! _

"_Apparently, once again, you did not think very much", Obi-Wan said still grinning. "Don't be so paranoid."_

"_I didn't mean it like that, I just thought", Anakin started again. "Argh…"_

_Obi-Wan laughed heartily. "Alright, alright, you just thought."_

"_She called you **Master**", Anakin suddenly remembered. "Why would she call you that if you're not her Master?"_

"_Erm… that's probably because I'm a Jedi-Master now. I mean, I'm on the Council now."_

"_What? You're a Jedi-Master? I can't believe it, that's cool!" Anakin rejoiced. "Since when?"_

"_I was officially appointed two days ago."_

"_What? Two days ago?" Anakin said indignantly. "Why didn't you tell me?"_

"_Erm, well, to be honest, I myself do not know why they appointed me to the Jedi-Council and so on. Well…"_

_Yes, why had Obi-Wan been granted the rank of Jedi-Master, Anakin now wondered too. He had not seen it coming at all. To him, Obi-Wan was still the young Jedi-Knight, who was a bit unsure of himself and unsure of how to deal with Anakin, and who was sullen because Qui-Gon had preferred another Padawan to him. But on second thought, there probably was not a better Jedi who could be on the Council than Obi-Wan. During the Clone Wars, he had proved he was one of the Order's best warriors, his negotiation skills were almost legendary, he was intelligent, wise, polite, patient and strong in the Force. Probably a perfect Jedi… Anakin could consider himself lucky he had been trained by such a good Jedi. He gave Obi-Wan a friendly punch in his side. "I wouldn't know who'd deserve to be on the Council if not you."_

_Obi-Wan grimaced. "Just stop with such flattery."_

"_Ey, I meant it! I feel honoured for being trained by such a great Jedi." Anakin bowed sweepingly. "Master Kenobi!" Obi-Wan just snorted disdainfully as an answer. Anakin caught sight of two Jedi-students who, merrily chattering, passed them. "Hey!" he called them back. "You know who this is? This is **Master** Obi-Wan Kenobi. So will you bow to him and wish him a good day."_

_The two students exchanged an uncertain glance – they could hardly be older than ten years – then they bowed to Obi-Wan respectfully. "May the Force be with you, Master Obi-Wan Kenobi", they shyly said respectively. _

_Obi-Wan blushed madly. "You don't have to bow to me", he said in a mix of awkwardness and annoyance. "And may the Force be with you too." When the two had left, he turned furiously to Anakin, who had to try very hard not to laugh. "Will you stop with that rubbish! I do **not **think it funny. If you ever do something like that again, I will…"_

"_You will do what? **Master**", Anakin teased him. Actually, he felt more like hugging Obi-Wan but he rather refrained from doing so, as his former Master was slightly peeved and would certainly not like that now. _

"_Just shut up", Obi-Wan said irritated. _

"_Sure. Master Kenobi. Would you honour this unworthy Jedi-Knight in front of you with a little lightsabre duel?"_

"_No."_

"_Ah, I see, important Council meeting?"_

"_Precisely." Obi-Wan turned to leave._

"_Obi-Wan, please!" Anakin shouted. _

"_Just forget about it. By the way, there **is** an important Council meeting right now."_

Anakin woke up. He had had a good dream. He could not remember when he had had a good dream the last time. Normally, he dreamed of death and destruction, smoking fire, hot lava, lifeless bodies. But this dream had definitely been a good one. He had almost forgotten that memory, or he had never known why he liked it so much. There could have been thousands of other good memories of Obi-Wan being nice to him. Strictly speaking, Obi-Wan had not been exceptionally nice to him in that memory. What Anakin liked so much about that memory was Obi-Wan blushing and feeling awkward in the presence of two little children because they had bowed to him. Anakin had always liked that about Obi-Wan – from the very beginning – and it had made him feel closer to Obi-Wan than to Qui-Gon at times. That had not always been easy; sometimes Anakin had missed the confidence Qui-Gon exuded. Nevertheless, he had greatly loved Obi-Wan for his uncertainty.

Anakin sighed deeply. Yes, he had to admit to himself, he missed Obi-Wan. Or rather the illusion he had had of Obi-Wan. Sidious was not a person you could go to if you had worries. He did not comfort you. He was in no way unsure of himself. He was neither understanding nor friendly. Not anymore. The friendly uncle Palpatine had disappeared. Like everything else in Anakin's life. Anakin had to accept Obi-Wan was a good person – from a certain point of view. The Jedi's point of view. Obi-Wan worried about the galaxy and would sacrifice himself for peoples who could not help themselves. He was a good Jedi, sure. But he had betrayed Anakin. Some vague values had been more important to him than his best friend. _My allegiance is to the Republic – to **democracy**! _Anakin's allegiance was to living beings. To those he loved. To his family, to – _No._ He had to think about Obi-Wan now. It hurt to think about him but it was going to make him angry and keep his thoughts away from _her_. So, where had he been? Friends, right, they had been the very best of friends, no one could deny that. It was just that Obi-Wan did not know what friendship meant. To him rules – the Jedi-Code – were more important than a friend. He would have killed Anakin because he _had_ to do it, because it was his _duty_, because he had to follow the _Jedi-Code_, because he had to follow the _will of the Force. _That was what made it so terrible. If Obi-Wan had come to kill him because he had wanted it, because he had wanted to take revenge, because he had been convinced he wanted to kill Anakin… But no, he did it BECAUSE IT WAS HIS DUTY! It was his duty to kill his best friend. And Obi-Wan had never gone against duty in order to do anything he truly believed in. Obi-Wan did not love because the Jedi-Code forbade love. Sure, Obi-Wan had liked him but he had always taken care of not liking Anakin more than the Jedi-Code allowed. So you probably could not speak of betrayal from Obi-Wan's part because he had just always been like that. Anakin had just been deluded. What was it that Luvia had once said?

_I don't think he hates you. A Jedi must not know hate and we all know Obi-Wan Kenobi would never go against the Code, right? _

_Obi-Wan wanted to eliminate me. Maybe it was some mission; in any case it was his duty as a Jedi he had to fulfil_.

_You're only concerned about your Jedi-Order and about Anakin fulfilling that crazy prophecy!_

Very fitting. Earlier, Anakin would have defended Obi-Wan. Today he knew better. Obi-Wan was a machine, programmed with the Jedi-Code. Anakin hated him for that.

He was just in the right mood, when Sidious informed him they had caught yet another Jedi. There had been a few who had survived Order 66 but they had already caught three and eliminated them.

"I feel the anger in you, Lord Vader. This is good. In order to let it grow, you may take care of our prisoner", Sidious offered him. "Interrogate the Jedi and find out where their secret base is."

"Yes, my Master", Anakin answered and, slightly bored, set off to the detention block. He knew "interrogate" meant torturing the Jedi to death because no Jedi would ever tell him the coordinates of their base. Not that he cared much about the coordinates. Sure, he wanted to take revenge and chop off one of Obi-Wan's arms someday but he was not really interested in the other Jedi. There were so few of them left – they could hardly be a threat anymore, could they? Nevertheless he would enjoy wiping out one more souvenir of that horrible Jedi-Code.

This time, however, things were different. Entering a cell in the high security ward, Anakin flinched when he saw the prisoner. Last time, it had been arrogant Jedi-Knights. Now he found himself opposite a small Twi'Lek girl of perhaps fourteen years. Well, he should have expected it to happen eventually. He knew for sure most of the surviving Jedi were still children. She looked up at him with frightened eyes. Maybe this was his – or rather: her – chance. Anakin put on his sternest expression. "Listen, you don't have to die. Just tell me the coordinates of your Jedi-base and your life will be spared. I know you want to be loyal to the Jedi but let's not make things complicated. We have some very advanced torture technology here and I assure you, I will get the truth out of you sooner or later. There's no point of resisting."

"There's always a point of resisting", she contradicted him in a small voice. "I will never tell you. I'd rather die."

At those words, Anakin got terribly furious. Not at the girl in front of him but at those who had done that to her. Who had manipulated her so much. How could they do this? How? How could they force _children_ to die for the _greater good_? "Don't be stupid!" he snapped at the girl. "You've still your whole life ahead of you. Don't give it up for the… _Jedi_."

"I _am_ a Jedi", she retorted, seemingly growing more confident while speaking, "and I'm not afraid of death. There is no death, there is only the Force."

"_What_!" Anakin grabbed her shoulders and shook her violently. "How can you be so stubborn?! That's just empty words, for Force's sake! I can assure you: There _is_ death! Bloody hell, I offer you your life – you should be grateful!"

"I don't believe you. I know what you've done. You'd kill me immediately after I'd have told you what you want to know."

"No, I wouldn't. You'd only die if you forced me to torture you. But if you tell me just like that, you're going to stay alive. Of course I wouldn't allow you to rejoin the other Jedi. You could stay here and do… work in the kitchen or whatever. Maybe you could even learn a bit about the dark side of the Force. I mean, the Force is strong in you –"

"Never! I will never succumb to the dark side of the Force."

"Why are you so damn _stupid_?"

She looked at him contemptuously. "I may be stupid or stubborn but at least I'm not a traitor like you. I will never sink as low as you've done. I know what I'm dying for – but you don't even know what you're living for."

Anakin took a deep breath and then he became very calm and just shrugged his shoulders. "What's your name, Jedi?"

"Kiiena Maseta."

"Well, Kiiena, you've just sentenced yourself to death. I wanted to give you a chance but you refused. I'm afraid the others won't be as merciful as I was." He shrugged again. "Sorry."

The girl – Kiiena – was trembling but her eyes sparkled when she declared passionately, "You'll never win, Vader! Never! You might think you're stronger but in the end you'll understand just how _weak _and _pathetic_ you are! The rule of the Sith will be over sometime!"

"Well, maybe you're right. May the Force be with you. Is there anything I can do for you? Some final wish?" She just spat at his feet. Anakin shrugged again and left the cell. "She didn't tell me anything", he told the Stormtroopers who stood guard outside. "It's your try now." When he walked away, he could still hear the Jedi yell behind him: "You're such a coward, Vader! You don't even have the guts to finish me off yourself! Let the others do the dirty work for you, right?! You're such a _coward_!"

* * *

_At the same time, on Tatooine…_

"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan, look, what I found!" Bouncing enthusiastically up and down in front of Obi-Wan, Luke stretched out his right hand holding a little snail-shell, which was bleached white by the Tatooine suns.

"That's really beautiful", Obi-Wan praised the four-year-old boy. "Where did you find it?"

"I find it near the front door."

"I didn't know we have such beautiful snail-shells near the farm." The "we" came easy to Obi-Wan now. When Owen had been so severely injured, Beru had asked him to stay in order to watch over Owen. After Owen's death, Obi-Wan had offered to stay a little longer in order to help Beru take care of Luke as she had been so devastated by Owen's death. After some weeks like that, Beru had asked him if he wanted to live permanently here. Obi-Wan knew she was afraid of the Tusken Raiders, who had taken both her husband and her mother-in-law from her, and she felt she could not carry the burden of raising Luke and sustain the farm alone. Of course, Obi-Wan had agreed to stay here and he had never regretted his decision. Life was strange, he mused. Every time when he had been shattered and had thought he would never be able to go on living again, life had given something new to him. At first, when he had been nearly 13 years old and was to be sent away from the Jedi-Order because he had not been chosen as a Padawan. Qui-Gon had taken care of him then. Later, when Qui-Gon had died, Anakin had been there for him. After the destruction of the Jedi-Order and Anakin's turn to the dark side, Qui-Gon had reappeared to him in the Force. And now he had Luke and Beru.

"Kimmy said she find _such a huge _snail-shell", Luke babbled and opened his arms to show Obi-Wan just _how_ _huge_ Kimmy's snail-shell supposedly was.

"I can't imagine there are actually such big snail-shells on Tatooine", Obi-Wan said.

"Yeah, I said to her _I don't believe you_ because she doesn't want to show me her snail-shell."

"Maybe she was just making it up but you shouldn't judge her too quickly. After all, it could be possible her father brought her the shell from another planet where such big snails exist."

"No, her father's a slave and he never goes to another planet. And her mother's a slave too."

"Oh, I'm sorry", Obi-Wan said a little awkward. "I didn't know -"

"Luke, time to go to bed!" Beru shouted from the kitchen window. "Come in!"

"No, I don't want to go to bed yet", Luke pouted.

"Luke, there's no arguing, it's eight o'clock and that's bedtime for four-year-olds!"

"But I don't want to –"

Unceremoniously, Obi-Wan seized the boy and carried him inside his room. Naturally, the little one screamed and struggled non-stop. "You're such a stupid Obi-Wan!"

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. Now, this was really something new… "And you're a squaller."

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are. Right now, you're screaming."

Luke remained sulking until he finally lay in bed. "I'm sorry I said you're a stupid Obi-Wan. I didn't mean it. I love you."

"I'm sorry too, but I meant it when I called you a sqaller because you _were_ screaming. But I love you nonetheless, ok?"

"Ok."

Obi-Wan smiled to himself when he tugged Luke in. He probably should teach Luke to think first before talking. Obi-Wan had had enough of being called "stupid" at least three times a day.

"Will you tell me a story?" Luke asked sweetly.

"Alright. What kind of story would you like to hear?"

"About Mum and Dad."

Inwardly, Obi-Wan groaned in agony. "But I told you about them just yesterday."

"Tell me again how they got married."

"Luke, you know that story by heart", Obi-Wan argued exasperatedly.

"Please, I want to hear it again."

"Very well then." Obi-Wan sat down on Luke's mattress and the boy immediately snuggled against him. "A long time ago, there lived a very kind princess and a Jedi." Naturally, Obi-Wan could not use the real names because everything had to be kept secret. When he had told Luke the story for the first time and called Padmé a queen, the boy had pointed out to him that queens could not marry – only princesses could do. Thus, Padmé was "the Princess". "One day, when the Princess had just landed her gold spaceship, there was an attack. Suddenly there were shoots and fire and the Princess could only escape in the very last moment. She quickly ran inside a building and hid there. But the attackers had left without a trace. It was scary, they had just disappeared as if they had turned into air. No one had seen them and no one knew who they were. Everyone was very worried about the Princess as everyone loved her because she was always so kind."

"And she was beautiful, wasn't she?"

"Of course she was. She was a princess after all. So they sent a Jedi to help her catch the attackers."

"And that was my Dad."

"And that was your Dad, yes."

"And he was the best and the strongest and the bravest Jedi ever", Luke declared proudly.

Obi-Wan hated that part of the story and he hated the always recurring question. But he had told Luke that story so often by now that he had got used to it. Obi-Wan ruffled Luke's hair and continued. "He absolutely was. Together, the Jedi and the Princess set off in the gold spaceship but suddenly someone was shooting at them _again_. The attackers were back! But fortunately, the Jedi was also the best spacepilot ever. He flew as fast as he could but the attackers were on their heels. Then the Princess spotted something in dark space."

"An asteroid field!"

"_Quick, fly the ship in there!_ she shouted. _Maybe we can hide behind an asteroid. _You must know it is very, very dangerous to fly into an asteroid field because you could easily crash into an asteroid. But as the Jedi was such a good pilot, they did it. Their pursuers lost sight of the gold spaceship and furiously flew away. Now it was safe for the Jedi and the Princess to fly to the Princess's homeplanet. It was a very beautiful planet and there were even lakes – large holes filled with water. And everywhere grew green flowers and trees. So the Princess invited the Jedi into her castle and they fell in love with each other and decided to marry."

"Was it a nice marriage? Did they have a great feast with the King and the Queen and the other Jedi?"

"No, their marriage had to stay a secret because there was a rule which forbade a Jedi to marry a Princess. So they married outside between the green trees where no one could see them and it was a very nice marriage."

"So there was a rule they mustn't marry but they married all the same? That was not good of them, was it?" Luke asked worriedly.

"You must know that rules can be wrong sometimes."

"What? How can rules be wrong? Oh, maybe the rule _four-year-old boys must go to bed at eight o'clock _is wrong too?" Luke asked hopefully.

Obi-Wan chuckled and ruffled Luke's hair again. "I'm afraid this rule is definitely right."

"I thought every rule is right. How can I know if a rule is right or wrong?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "That exactly is the difficult thing about it. I really don't know how to recognise if a rule is right or wrong."

"But you always know everything."

Obi-Wan sighed again. Sometimes Luke reminded him too much of Anakin. "No one can know everything. It's impossible. There are so many stars for example – how could someone memorise all their names and coordinates?"

"But then… how do you know it was right the Jedi and the Princess got married? Maybe it was very wrong and they just didn't know it."

"Of course it was good they married", Obi-Wan assured him. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be there now." And a part of him even believed it.

"And then what happened?" Luke asked sleepily. "After they got married?"

"That's the end of the story."

"But what happened then?" Luke insisted.

"I'll tell you another time. Now it's late and you need to sleep. Goodnight, Luke."

"Goodnight. I love you, Obi-Wan."

"I love you too."

Wondering how things had really happened, Obi-Wan watched Luke fall asleep. Why had Padmé and Anakin fallen in love? What had happened when they had been together on Naboo? And what was Obi-Wan to tell Luke when he was old enough and wanted to know more than fairy-tales about beautiful princesses and fast spaceships? Tiredly, Obi-Wan got up and went into the kitchen to make himself some tea. Beru sat on a chair, studying the little farm's earnings and expenses on a datapad which had been outdated decades ago. Her face looked worn and troubled. Obi-Wan knew the financial situation was anything but good. He poured her a mug of tea too and placed it on the table in front of her. She briefly nodded and smiled at him but the smile did not reach her eyes. Luke was the only one who could sometimes make her laugh freely. She had become so old in the two years since her husband's death. There was nothing Obi-Wan could do to comfort her as he could hardly tell her something like: _There is no death, there is only the Force_. How could he comfort her when the person she had loved more than anything had _died_? They drank their tea without speaking a word. They had come to a silent agreement: Both knew the other had suffered terrible losses and no comforting words could help. Of course, Obi-Wan had told her everything she needed to know. That Darth Vader was Luke's father and that Luke must be protected from his father. Fortunately, Beru understood and did not torment him with questions.


	27. Evil Tidings

_A few days later…_

Anakin stared into space out of the large window of the imperial stardestroyer. He tried very hard to meditate and take his mind off the Twi'Lek girl. She had to be dead by now. No one could survive the imperial torture for so long. And in case she had indeed escaped, Anakin would have noticed. Sidious would have been utterly furious and would have sent hundreds of stormtroopers after her. No, she definitely was already dead for long. Anakin balled his twitching mechanical fingers into fists. He knew very well why he had wanted to save her. The young Jedi had reminded him of _her_. Strong, idealistic, brave, proud… Drawing a shaky breath, he reached for the Force and wrapped it around himself as if thus he could protect himself. He needed to focus on his meditation…

_Tired eyes. "I have to send them to certain death…"_

_Sympathy. "You don't have another choice. It is not your fault."_

_Slumped shoulders. "I just can't do it. I can't just position them there like a living barrier."_

_Searching for arguments. "But it is not completely hopeless. Of course the odds are against them, but no one says they will meet certain death –"_

_Temper rising. "Yes, it **is** hopeless! Just think realistically! They are 200 simple soldiers armed with blasters! What could they possibly do against those battle towers? No one will survive, no one!" _

_Trying to be the rational for once. "But it's the only option we have. If you don't send them there, so many more will die."_

_Disillusion. "…What are we doing here?... Isn't it absurd? We calculate with lives, minus 200 lives, then we'll have plus 500 lives, we juggle the numbers until the bottom line looks best. But the calculations already include losses." _

_Suddenly an idea. "We'll go there. Just the two of us."_

_Confusion. "But…"_

_Enthusiasm. "We can do it. It's not the first time we go against all odds, is it? Hey, we are **the **team. And if we died, we would've fulfilled the same task as the 200 soldiers. Minus two lives, plus 200 lives. See, the calculation works. And if anyone has the chance to survive something like that, it's definitely us."_

_A deep breath. "You're right. Why didn't I think of that myself?"_

_A cheeky grin. "You should put more trust in your commanders, general."_

_Sincerity. "I trust you, Anakin."_

_Sincerity. "Yes, I know. What I meant was, you should confide more in your commanders and include them. Sometimes they might have a useful idea. You're not the only person in the galaxy who bears responsibility. There are enough people who would help you… who would like to help you." _

Anakin slowly got out of his meditation. Those words and feelings had become so meaningless. It seemed like it had happened an eternity ago. However, it had only been…five years? Blinking thoughtfully, he wondered what was wrong. Recently, those things started to accumulate. First his dream, now this memory and… yes, now he remembered he had had a good dream last night too. About the bird. No, it had been a stupid dream. Such an extremely stupid dream! He had been a little boy then, a stupid little boy, who had been completely broken-hearted just because a bird had crashed into his window. Just a little bird of which there were many in the Jedi-Temple. That day, Obi-Wan had become Anakin's hero. Anakin frowned. _Why_ had Obi-Wan played along with it? And why did Obi-Wan care so much whether 200 clones would perhaps die? Clones who were ready to fight and ready to die. When had Anakin stopped caring? As a boy, the death of a bird had brought him on the verge of tears. How many beings had he killed since then? Without knowing the reason. He did not question anything anymore but lethargically took the Emperor's orders. There was nothing left in the galaxy which meant anything to him. He remembered the young Twi'Lek's words (he had already forgotten her name): _I know what I'm dying for – but you don't even know what you're living for._ That was the simple truth. But he did not even care for that. He knew the answer to the question when he had stopped caring: On Mustafar. When Obi-Wan had calculated with his life. Minus one life, plus hundreds (?) of lives. When Anakin had…killed the one he loved and their unborn child.

"Good morning, Ani."

Anakin gave a pained groan. That was just all he needed now. He had tried everything: screaming, threatening, raging, making things Force-explode…but nothing helped against an incorporeal voice. Qui-Gon returned with a tedious resistance into his mind – usually at times when it was least wanted. "What's it this time?" Anakin asked annoyed. "Let me have a guess… I must turn back to the _good side_, I must kill Sidious, I must fulfil the prophecy, I must forgive Obi-Wan, um… did I forget anything?"

"Why are you so angry? I only wished you a good morning. Haven't you slept well?"

"I had a bad dream. _Aha_!" Suddenly, Anakin understood everything. "That was you! You were in my head again and made those dreams!"

"No, unfortunately not. I whished I could control your dreams. That would help a lot. I knew what kinds of dreams I'd sent to you. For example, when Obi-Wan –"

"_No_! Haven't I told you more than enough I don't want to hear that name again?!"

"He didn't want to kill you –"

"Yes, yes, I know, I _forced_ him to do it, he _had_ to do it, blah blah blah. It doesn't make a difference to me. It's a fact he –"

"He tried to kill you, he cut off your arm, he took Padmé from you, blah blah blah."

"Fine, now all things have been said! Why are we still talking then? Why don't you finally leave?"

"I don't give up on you yet, Ani."

"Don't call me _Ani_!"

"I hope that one day you will remember Ani again."

"Just out of interest: Do you haunt his head too?"

"Whose head?"

"Whose head? Well, Obi-Wan's of course!"

"I speak to him from time to time, yes. Unlike you, he usually is happy to see erm, hear me and he is not as rude as you are."

Anakin snorted disgustedly. Sure, Obi-Wan had always been the good boy, hadn't he? And Anakin had been the stupid little slave boy who could not behave himself. In his opinion, entering other people's minds against their will was much ruder than swearing and other considered _bad_ manners. "So what kind of things does he tell you?" Anakin did not manage to entirely hide his curiosity.

"Not very nice things."

"Wow, that's interesting. You let me know if he plans an attack on me again, ok?"

"He won't. I always try to convince him to do it but I haven't succeeded so far."

"Wha – what?" Anakin was momentarily lost for words. "You want to convince him to attack me?" he finally said incredulously. "Why?"

"Because I hope he will succeed where I haven't."

"Oh, I see. You want him to turn me back to the _good side_." Anakin laughed humourlessly. "Just forget about it. I'm sorry, but there won't be a touching reconciliation-scene for you. If I ever get the chance to get near Obi-Wan again, I will kill him – I swear, by everything that's holy to me! I will cause him such pain he will wish he'd never be born! He'll beg me to be merciful – but I won't be merciful! Ha! You hear that, Qui-Gon? You hear what I'm going to do to your beloved Padawan?" But the voice had already left. Anakin felt so angry and so lost at the same time. But most of all, he was confused. He absolutely needed to see Sidious. _Now_.

Anakin hurried to the Emperor's throne room. No guards were standing outside, so he just stormed in.

"Ah, welcome Lord Vader", Sidious greeted him and surveyed him with mild interest. "I had just sent my guards to bring you here because I needed to speak to you."

Anakin bowed to his Master and rested in a kneeling position.

"I heard some disturbing news from the stormtroopers who guard the prisoners' cells."

Anakin pricked up his ears. Had the Twi'Lek girl possibly escaped?

"Concerning our Jedi prisoner", Sidious continued while thoroughly scrutinising Anakin.

"Ah." Anakin kept his head deeply bowed in order to not show Sidious his nervousness.

"I was told you tried to save her life."

So this was what it was about. "Well, yes. I offered her a deal: If she told us the whereabouts of the remaining Jedi, I promised her to spare her life."

"The stormtroopers mentioned you seemed very interested in saving her life. Lord Vader, do I have to conclude your allegiance is still to the Jedi?"

"No!" Anakin exclaimed, almost in shock. "It was not about her being a Jedi. No, I just pitied her. I mean, she's still so young and it is not her fault the Jedi manipulated her so much."

"She _was_ so young. She's already dead."

Anakin bit his lip. "So she didn't give away the information?"

"Of course she didn't. And _if_ she had done, she would be dead now too, wouldn't she?"

"Yes, of course, my Master." Anakin frowned slightly. "But why?"

"Remind me again, Lord Vader: Why do we want to have the Jedi base's coordinates?"

"Because we want to wipe out that treacherous Order."

"Exactly. And that means killing _every single Jedi_."

"Of course, my Master. But I thought we could maybe still cure the young ones from the Jedi-indoctrinations and turn them to the dark side."

"No. There can only be two Sith. A Master and an apprentice."

"Why can't there be more?" Anakin asked curiously.

Sidious started to lose his temper. "Because I say so", he answered menacingly.

"I understand, my Master", Anakin agreed dutifully. Of course he did _not_ understand anything. More Sith could only mean more power, right? And the answer _Because I say so_ was almost as stupid as _Because it is the will of the Force_.

"You must not let pity get in your way", Sidious said strictly. "It makes you weak."

"Yes, my Master", Anakin answered again and he still did not understand. Because this sounded just like the Jedi. Earlier, Sidious had always encouraged him to listen to his emotions and act upon them. Why was it suddenly wrong? Unlike the Jedi, Sidious had allowed him love. So why did he deny him pity now? After all, pity was an emotion too. Pity meant compassion and compassion meant unconditional love to Anakin. He still held on to that. And if Sidious told him to live his emotions but the only emotion he allowed him was anger – well, there was just no logic at all in that. It terribly annoyed Anakin. He absolutely hated wrong promises. And he hated being used. But he did not have another option as everyone was corrupt: Jedi, Sith, politicians…

* * *

_One week later, on Tatooine…_

Master Yoda called Obi-Wan via hologram. That in itself was unusual – and therefore disturbing. During the four years Obi-Wan had been living on Tatooine, Yoda had very seldom communicated with him. They had agreed to that because every transmission meant a danger to both Luke and the other Jedi on Dagobah. The Empire was likely to wiretap and trace the signals back to either Tatooine or Dagobah. If Yoda was willing to risk that, it had to be serious. And it was.

"Looking for his son, Darth Vader is."

Obi-Wan's heart skipped a beat. He had hoped it had been finally over, he wanted to forever leave that part of his past behind. He did not want to confront Anakin again. "How… could he find out?" Obi-Wan asked weakly.

"Not the time there is for _how_ and _why_", Yoda said gravely. "Know he does not yet, on Tatooine his son lives."

That was when Obi-Wan started to shake all over. "We must immediately hide Luke far away from Tatooine", he said urgently. "Anakin will suspect him here."

"Anakin Skywalker dead is", Yoda harshly snapped at him.

Annoyed, Obi-Wan bit his lip. This was hardly the moment to argue about names but Yoda always placed great importance on reminding Obi-Wan again and again that the Anakin he had known did not exist anymore. "Master Yoda, Darth Vader will most certainly come to search for Luke on Tatooine. We have to hide Luke away from him. Quickly."

"Necessary that is not. To Tatooine, Vader will come. Await him here, we will."

"Excuse me?"

"Informed of this the rebels, I have. Come here, they will, and help us."

"You want to set a trap for him?"

"Yes. Against it, you are? Still attached you feel to your former apprentice?"

"There isn't an attachment to An… to Vader anymore. But I'm against using Luke as a bait."

"A non-recurring possibility it is for us, for the Jedi, for democracy and justice. Use this possibility we must, if destroy the Sith we wish."

"Who is _we_? You, me, a few younglings and the little rebel alliance? Darth Vader will come with a whole army. How are we supposed to win against such odds?"

"Earlier, disheartened so quickly you were not. For you a possibility it is, to fight the demons of your past."

Obi-Wan would have liked to respond he could have well done without it, but that would have been impudent. Besides, he knew Yoda was right. Obi-Wan just did not like it. So he had to set a trap for Anakin in order to finally defeat him. Or, strictly speaking: In order to eliminate him. Obi-Wan did not fool himself concerning this. It was obvious you could not let a Sith-Lord alive. It meant he had to decide between Anakin's and Luke's life. It was not a hard decision. Nevertheless, Obi-Wan had a crazy hope that, seeing his son, Darth Vader could perhaps turn into Anakin again. But that was never going to happen. Never. Obi-Wan had never been one for risks and he was not ready to take that risk. He would not take the risk of sacrificing Luke. When the holo-conversation with Yoda was over, Obi-Wan exhaustedly sank down in a chair. He heard the humming of Luke's and Beru's voices from outside as if they were far, far away. Why was it so hard for him to set a trap for Anakin? _I sense a trap. – Next move? – Spring the trap._ Obi-Wan clenched his fists. _I have to free myself from attachments, I have to free myself from attachments, I have to free…_ he tried to knock it into his head. _Ok. Time for the first step. _He took the little bag Bant had made for him from his belt. Inside were his few precious possessions: The rock Qui-Gon had given him for his 13th birthday and the Padawan-braid. His braid. Anakin's braid. _Their_ braid. He took either end in his hand and tugged and pulled at it. It did not rip. The hair had grown together. Inseparable like their lives, Obi-Wan had once thought. _Isn't it amazing how much you can delude yourself?_ he thought bitterly. He took a vibro-knife from his belt too and neatly cut the braid into two halves. It was as easy as that. But Obi-Wan did not feel satisfied yet. He cut the two halves in quarters and did it again and again until there was nothing left but tiny pieces of dirty hair. When he had finished, he felt already a bit better. But it did not last for long. Quite the contrary, he was soon overwhelmed with new desperation. Tears burnt in his eyes.

"Don't give up, Obi-Wan", he heard his Master's gentle voice from the Force.

"I'm sorry, Master", he answered in a choking voice. "I – I can't do it – I can't stand it…_Why?! _Why me? And don't tell me it's the will of the Force."

"I wished I could do more to help you than just speak to you", Qui-Gon said regretfully.

Yes, Obi-Wan wished the same… "You help me a lot, Master", was, however, all he said.

"Yoda told me about your plan", Qui-Gon mentioned almost offhandedly.

"I'm afraid", Obi-Wan admitted.

"Afraid of losing Luke or of seeing Anakin again?"

"Both."

"Hmm. You still love him."

"I know it's wrong. Master Yoda keeps reminding me every so often. A Jedi mustn't have attachment and he never must have _such_ attachments. I know I've failed, I should have killed him on Mustafar. I just wished I could have been strong enough then."

"It's never wrong to love someone, Padawan. It's just… cutting off someone's arm is hardly a proof of love."

"What do you mean by that?" Obi-Wan asked irritated.

"Your bond is, erm… _was_ strong. Maybe that's the door to success."

"No… no. I love _Anakin_, not Darth Vader. I have to accept Anakin's gone."

"Maybe you can bring him back."

"It's too late now for this, isn't it?"

"I don't know. Is it?"

"Yes", Obi-Wan said firmly, "it is too late. Maybe I could have stopped him earlier but now…"

"What are you going to do?"

"I will do what I must."

"May I give you some advice?"

"I have a feeling it won't help much here…"

"Just for once don't listen to that stupid little green troll but to your heart."

Obi-Wan gaped. Now Qui-Gon was really going too far. He knew Qui-Gon and Yoda disagreed about many things – they had always done – but insulting the oldest and wisest Master ever just like that…

"I'm sorry, Padawan, I didn't want to shock you", Qui-Gon said airily. "Yoda knows what I think of him. He thinks the same of me. Well, of course without _little_. We argue a lot but all the same we like each other a lot. So, please, consider what I told you and may the Force be with you."

"May the Force be with you." Obi-Wan rubbed his temples and wearily got up. He needed to inform Beru. And he needed to work out a trap.

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**Ok, reviews would be nice... I guess. I accept everything: signed reviews, anonymous reviews, nice reviews, angry reviews... The thing is, I don't feel very comfortable with this chapter. It does not come as smooth as the others... but anyway, don't let this chapter repel you or anything. The next ones will be better ;-) I just had to indotruce the path for some action and I try to update soon... if I get nice reviews ;-) No, honestly, the next chapter is almost finished and it's going to be called "The Trap" and it should be up tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. **


	28. The Trap

**I apologise I didn't update as quickly as I promised... The last week was terrible, I had a huge amount of work to do for university... exams-time... :(**

**Thanks for reviewing:**

Sentrosi: **I don't have the expansion set. My favourite is definitely architect. Hexenschule is good ;-) but I also like Bibliothek (Library?). **

Phoenix Red Lion: **I never liked the idea either that Obi-Wan should spent twenty years on his own. That's just too cruel. I figured it was mostly Owen who did not want him there with Luke and so I had to get rid of him ;-) And don't worry: THE big conversation between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon is still to come. **

Jedi Knight 13: **Maybe you're right and it's just difficult to write about such raw emotions... Sometimes I just feel like I can't find the words for what's in my mind. But it's good to know you still like it ;-)**

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**Obi-Wan felt like a tiny piece of wood caught in a torrential river. He could not help but float with the current. He helplessly watched a small imperial fleet emerge on Tatooine's sky. Soon it would be time. The trap would have to prove itself. Obi-Wan had worked it out. It was based on Anakin's flaws. Firstly, on his vanity. Obi-Wan was positive Anakin was going to send his stormtroopers back as soon as he spotted Obi-Wan. Anakin's thirst for revenge would not be stilled if Obi-Wan was just shot by a blaster during the battle and died unspectacularly. Certainly, Anakin wanted to take revenge personally. Second, the trap was based on Anakin's recklessness. Hopefully, he would not pay attention to his surroundings but just to Luke and Obi-Wan. 

There was a plan B but B was even worse than A. And it would demand more victims. Obi-Wan was not happy at all with the fact that Luke and all the younglings and Padawans were right in the crossfire. "In case anything unexpected happens, just stay close behind me", he nervously instructed Luke.

"Why?" Luke hardly knew anything about the trap. He thought Obi-Wan just wanted to teach him something pretty interesting: to make things fly.

"Because I don't want anything to happen to you", Obi-Wan answered while trying to keep his focus both on Luke's attempts to make some little stones fly, and on the spot where he expected the attackers to appears.

Then he came. Clad completely in black in front of his stormtroopers' white armour. From this distance it looked normal. It could have been Commander Skywalker, the _Hero with no Fear_, who led a troop of the GAR to battle. Luke seemed to sense the tension that filled the air. "What's the matter, Obi-Wan?" Then his gaze rested on Anakin and the stormtroopers. Being very sensitive in the Living Force, Luke sensed the threat they radiated. Seeking protection, he clung to Obi-Wan's leg.

"Don't be afraid", Obi-Wan murmured and lifted Luke up in his arms. He turned around so his body was going to protect the boy from the attackers. Obi-Wan's empty hand rested on the blaster at his belt.

Part one worked. Anakin held up a hand and signed his troop to stay behind.

The rebels also did their job very well. With a loud _bang_, the flagship of this imperial unit exploded.

"Get back to the ships!" Anakin barked at his soldiers. "Fight the attackers and get ready to leave the planet! Commander Cuddo, you're in command of the troop. I'll be there in a minute." Then Anakin turned to Obi-Wan and Luke again and approached them with hurried, long strides.

Obi-Wan's heart beat faster and faster. Finally, Anakin stood still a few steps in front of Obi-Wan. They stared at each other in silence. Now they were so close and he could look into Anakin's face, Obi-Wan could see just how much Anakin had changed within such a short time. He looked ten years older than when Obi-Wan had said goodbye to him before he had gone to Utapau. Anakin's lips were a thin, angry line and his jaw was clenched. His face looked tired and had an unhealthy colour. The first thin – but harsh – lines appeared under his eyes. But all of this could still have been Anakin Skywalker, had it not been for the eyes. The once lively sparkling deep blue eyes had turned to a dull yellow, in which Obi-Wan could not read anything anymore.

"Give my son back to me", the man who had once been Obi-Wan's best friend snarled menacingly.

All Obi-Wan managed to say was a small "No".

"What do you think you are? He is _my_ son! You have no right to take him away from me!"

"Luke is not a possession."

Anakin slightly winced at the name and Obi-Wan took heart again.

"You've destroyed everything I loved", Anakin accused him, "you turned my wife against me and now you want to take my son away from me too!"

"I never wanted to take anything away from you", Obi-Wan said sadly. "You forced me to do it. I would have liked to give Luke to Anakin Skywalker but I have to protect him from Darth Vader."

"He needs a father."

"He needs love."

"And you think you of all people could give that to him?" Anakin sneered. "You don't even know what love means at all!"

"And you know it? Do you honestly think it is about burning down a building so that many, many innocent children die? Is that love in your opinion? Because then I can only hope Luke will never get your love."

"Give Luke to me and I will leave." Anakin's voice was almost pleading and Obi-Wan almost felt a little bit of pity for this lonely, dark man, who was probably never going to get anything like love again in his life.

"I can't", Obi-Wan answered.

"Very well, then I'm afraid we will have to settle this matter in another way." Anakin ignited his lightsabre – a red lightsabre – and his yellow eyes flared angrily.

Obi-Wan pressed Luke more tightly against himself. He could only hope Anakin would shrink back from endangering his own son. But Anakin moved in closer and closer, his lightsabre raised.

"Miserable poltroon", Anakin snarled, "you so badly need to hide behind a little child."

Every tiny trace of pity Obi-Wan had felt for him, vanished in the blink of an eye. The problem was, Anakin knew very well Obi-Wan would never use a child as a living barrier. Grinning devilishly, Anakin watched Obi-Wan put Luke down and step protectively in front of the boy. In a flash, Obi-Wan drew his blaster and fired up into the sky: the signal to Yoda. Anakin whirled up his lightsabre and cut Obi-Wan's blaster in two halves. At the same time, several darts poisoned with narcotic hissed through the air. At least ten of them hit their target. Apparently, Yoda had taught the younglings well. Obi-Wan aimed a hard kick at Anakin's hand and sent the lightsabre flying. Anakin blinked and stared thoroughly confused at Obi-Wan and then he just toppled over and fell asleep at Obi-Wan's feet. Obi-Wan stared down at the lifeless shape. So this was him: The feared Sith-Lord Darth Vader. Unspectacularly collapsed because of toxic darts – shot by children. And now he was sleeping peacefully like a little child himself. As long as his eyes were shut and the yellow colour was not visible, you could have thought he was completely harmless. While Obi-Wan had a rather odd memory of 16-year-old Anakin who had come home drunk from one of Corucant's lower level bars and had collapsed in front of Obi-Wan in a very similar way, the younglings suddenly came running cheering towards the stunned figure of Darth Vader.

"I hit him, I hit him!"

"I hit him too! My dart hit him right in his bottom!"

"Look, I got his lightsabre!"

"Stop!" Obi-Wan kept the youngling back who was about to ignite the lightsabre. "That's a Sith-weapon – not a toy. Give it to me." Rather disappointed, the youngling handed Obi-Wan the lightsabre. "What we're doing here is not a funny adventure", Obi-Wan turned to the other younglings. "We're dealing with a Sith-Lord. We were only able to defeat him because we cooperated in a very clever way. I don't want anyone of you to get near him, do you understand me? Never forget how many of your friends he killed."

The children looked at each other in dismay, shock or sadness and some muttered, "Sorry, Master Kenobi."

"You all did your job very well", Obi-Wan said a little more kindly than before. "I just want you to take care of yourself."

Finally, Master Yoda arrived. He scrutinised Anakin and hit his gimer stick in his side. When Anakin did not move or protest in any way, the little Master nodded satisfied. "Very well done, younglings. Very well done, young Obi-Wan and young Luke. Quick we must be now. Get Vader into our ship, and then leave to Dagobah we will before the stormtroopers realise what happened."

So they left Tatooine: Yoda, the younglings, Obi-Wan, Beru, Luke and the unconscious Anakin. When they were in hyperspace and Anakin had been securely tied and given new narcotics, Obi-Wan went to Yoda in order to give him Anakin's lightsabre. "Here, you better take this, Master. Or maybe it would be best if it was simply destroyed."

"A look on this I will have before destroyed it will be. Learn about our enemies we need."

Obi-Wan nodded. "So… what is going to happen next?" he asked hesitantly.

"Try we will to get information about the other Sith from Vader."

"I don't think he's going to tell us anything."

"The same I fear."

"And then what happens?"

"No courts there are left to which we could bring him. Controlled by the Emperor they are."

"So we are going to take the law into our own hands."

"On Dagobah meet with the rebel alliance we will. Stand trial there he will."

"I guess we don't have much choice concerning the judgement."

Yoda gave Obi-Wan a penetrating glance. "Don't like this, you do."

"I wouldn't like it either if it was about someone else", Obi-Wan defended himself. "I just don't like executing an unarmed prisoner."

Yoda nodded gloomily. "In a dark age we live."

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"What has become of the Jedi-Order…" 

Obi-Wan jumped a little when Qui-Gon's voice startled him from his brooding. He sat alone in a little cave on Dagobah while Yoda had gone to Anakin in order to interrogate him.

"Sometimes I wonder whether Anakin is right when he calls the Jedi the bad ones."

"Do we have another choice?" Obi-Wan flared up. "Are we to let him go and let him enjoy his time going from one end of the galaxy to the other – killing what's in his way?!"

"There is always another choice. You just have to be willing to look for this other way."

"Qui-Gon, I very much would like to prevent his death. If there is another way, then please tell me!"

"I don't know another way. I just hope you're going to find one."

"I don't know another way either."

Qui-Gon let out a deep sigh. "Will you go to him before he's going to be executed?"

"I guess I have to attend the trial." The mere thought left a feeling of sickness in Obi-Wan.

"You know very well I was not speaking about the trial."

"Well, what do you want me to do? Talk to him? Great idea, really great idea, Qui-Gon! What am I supposed to say? _Oh, hi Anakin, nice to see you again. Have you possibly changed your mind? How about turning back to the good sight?_"

"That's the essential message, yes. However, I might recommend you to use other words. But I'm sure you can do it. I heard you were called the _Negotiator_, weren't you?"

"I will not go and talk to him", Obi-Wan said firmly.

"I'm starting to agree with you", Qui-Gon said sadly. "You indeed failed your apprentice."

The remark stung. _Failed, failed, failed_… Obi-Wan was sick of hearing that word again and again. It came from everywhere: _You failed_. Failed, because he had broken the promise he had given to Qui-Gon and because he had not trained his apprentice well. Failed, because he had not been strong enough to kill Darth Vader. Failed, because he had cut Anakin's arm off. Failed, because he did not find another way now. _Failed, failed, failed._ "Qui-Gon, would you please just leave me alone", Obi-Wan said coldly. "I don't know what this is all about. I don't know – maybe it's some mystery about the Force that I can't understand yet because I'm not dead yet but maybe you are just as incapable of understanding what it means to be alive. We have captured Darth Vader, and that means we have a responsibility towards the whole galaxy. This is why attachment is forbidden, don't you see it? I'm not willing to let more innocent beings die just because I feel bad about executing the person who was once a friend of mine."

"Obi-Wan, I never meant you to –"

"Please, just let me alone", Obi-Wan said wearily and, amazingly, Qui-Gon obeyed.


	29. The Trial

**This and the next chapter are really new! I had never planned to write them, but while typing the story, I suddenly had an idea like "Wow, this could be a cool chapter!" I hope you like it! **

**Thanks for reviewing: **

Geri K: **Thanks a lot for your private message. I agree with you and Phoenix Red Lion: Obi-Wan should not listen to all the rubbish everyone's telling him. He deserves a better life! Poor, poor Obi ;-) I really enjoy your reviews because I think for a writer it is the most rewarding experience if one's fanfiction evokes any emotions in one's readers. I just felt like I should tell you Obi-Wan did not fail in my opinion because I myself get sometimes annoyed by fanfictions in which Obi-Wan is portrayed as the evil guy who cut off Anakin's legs etc. etc. ;-)**

Jedi Knight 13: **Don't you underestimate Master Yoda - lol! Ok, he may seem old... ;-) Yes, the Jedi-Order has to change, you're right there, and Qui-Gon is the stimulus. I didn't realise my writing skills have improved... well, if you say so - thank you! ****I guess writing English is getting ****easier and easier for me and I'm able to do it more quickly now. **

Phoenix Red Lion: **Wow, thanks a lot! I LOVE such reviews ;-) Obi-Wan is in a really horrible situation, caught between the two opposing sides and his feelings and everyone wants him to do something different and**** no matter what he does - someone is going to tell him he's wrong either way. So, yeah, grabbing Luke and Leia and running away would be a good option ;-) But Obi-Wan would never just run away like that, would he?**

Xenia Marvolo: **Yes! YES! FINALLY! Someone who's on Anakin's side!!! Yippee! ;-) I don't say I'm completely ****on Anakin's side but it's good to have someone side with Anakin as most of my readers seem to be great Obi-Wan fans (well, I'm too...lol, but I like Anakin a lot too). It's interesting to see how differently people see this story...**

Sentrosi: **You're a real citadels-freak, aren't you ;-) I'm afraid I don't know so much about combinations. Do you perhaps mean "Wehrturm" (the thing that cannot be destroyed)? Thanks for reviewing!

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It was an odd court. It took place in the middle of a jungle and you could not even see everyone participating because trees and leaves shielded them from view. Obi-Wan stood next to Master Yoda and watched two rebels tie Anakin to a tree. Beru and Luke were not here. Obi-Wan did not know how much Luke had understood from the short conversation between Obi-Wan and Anakin, but he certainly did not want the little boy to have to witness this. The younger ones of the younglings had been sent away too. The older ones, however, who remembered very well what Anakin had done to them, were allowed to stay. They bustled with excitement and tried to catch a glimpse on Anakin. Some had even climbed up into the trees in order to get a better view over the rebels' heads.

Then one of the rebels stepped forward and raised his voice. "Welcome everyone. All of us have waited very long for this day. We have fought very hard to achieve this. Many of our loyal friends and comrades died. But their deaths were not in vain. They died for justice, freedom and democracy!" The crowd cheered at these words. "We will never forget them! We will honour them by freeing the galaxy from enslavement. This is the day we strike back! This is the day when justice defeats evil! This is a day which will always be remembered as the day of the Republic!"

The guy sounded a bit overconfident to Obi-Wan. After all, they had only caught _one_ Sith. The other Sith, who was probably the greater threat, was still alive. Darth Maul had died, Darth Tyranus had died but, so far, Darth Sidious had always managed to get a new apprentice. Speaking about the day of the Republic was a bit early. But maybe that was just Obi-Wan. He had never really approved of such political pomp and fiery speeches. Maybe it was needed here in order to encourage everyone. The rebel alliance was such a small group compared to the millions of stormtroopers and they badly needed all the encouragement they could get. With a squelching sound, Obi-Wan yanked his boot out of the mud. He had to do so every minute because the foil was so splashy he sank down again and again. He envied Yoda for his lightweight, who certainly did not face such problems.

"In front of us stands the man who is responsible for all of this", continued the rebel leader. "Darth Vader, Sith-Lord, murderer and tyrant! _He_ destroyed the Republic and democracy! _He_ killed the Jedi in an incomparably evil purge! _He _oppressed many free peoples with his reign of terror! _He_ hunted our friends down and tortured them to death!"

People were stirring and muttering angrily, some were shaking their fists in Anakin's direction.

"Murderer!" a young woman suddenly burst out. "Murderer! _You_ killed them, I know you did! You will pay for it, I will enjoy seeing you suffer, I will enjoy every second of your death!!!"

Anakin viewed her with mild interest as though she was not really worth bothering. From somewhere, a fistful of mud was thrown directly into Anakin's face. Anakin's head jerked back against the trunk, Anakin coughed and spat mud out of his mouth. The crowd jeered and others followed this example. The rebel leader tried to go on with delivering his speech but meanwhile no one paid attention to him anymore. Stinking mud, mouldy fruits, branches and soon even stones flew through the air. Everyone was screaming and cheering and raging and yelling accusations. Obi-Wan ducked when a squashy fruit almost hit his head. Turning around to see where it had come from, he saw two Padawans sitting on a tree's branch, who gave him the thumbs up when they noticed they were being watched by him. The sight of these two young Jedi made Obi-Wan incredibly sad. He quickly turned away again and watched the spectacle. It was as if the people around him had turned into a pride of wild and ferocious – _hungry_ – animals which could not be stopped anymore. Obi-Wan caught the eye of Bail Organa, who was standing opposite him a few feet away. He watched just as impassively as Obi-Wan did and returned him a sad look.

Finally, Master Yoda intervened when two rebels had just started hitting their blasters into Anakin's stomach again and again. Yoda hit his gimer stick against the trunk of a nearby tree (and amplified the sound with the Force). "Behave yourselves, you will!" It took him some time to get everyone's attention but at long last the crowd had calmed down so that Yoda's words could be heard. "The dark side I sense here. Uncontrolled hate, anger… Revenge the way of the Jedi is not."

"No Jedi we are", an old man mocked Yoda, and Obi-Wan felt a big lump in his throat at these words. Immediately, everyone started jeering and screaming again and Yoda had to hit the trunk several times very loudly.

"Revenge and torture neither the way of the Jedi nor the way of democracy is. The way of the Sith it is."

"Master Yoda is absolutely right", Bail Organa spoke up in order to support Yoda. "_This_ is how democracy dies. Do we have the right to call such behaviour _right _and _just_? Is _this_ what we're fighting for? Is this the future we want for our children? We have to be role-models! How can we fight for the _good _if we destroy our own principles? If this is really what we're fighting for, then this cause has become worthless. Then I think it would be better if I left this alliance."

Obi-Wan could hear gasps among the listeners and he was really glad for the impact Bail's speech had made.

"Stop this trial, we will", Yoda declared and there was no one now who dared to argue. "Calm down you need and then start anew we will. Lord Vader's presence required is not anymore. Know what he did, we all do. Debate this case we will in his absence. Better this is for all of us, I feel. Master Kenobi, inside my cave you bring him."

"What?!" Someone exclaimed at once. "Is that some new kind of your Jedi's tricks? We all know Kenobi used to be friends with Skywalker, he's going to let him free!"

"Ashamed of yourself you should be", Yoda reprimanded the rebel. "A fine Jedi and an honourable man Master Kenobi is. Do his duty he will. Your accusations from the dark side they stem. If mistrust each other we do, already won the Sith have."

Obi-Wan was not happy at all with his task but he knew he had to do it. Master Yoda knew everyone but Obi-Wan or Bail Organa would rip Anakin to pieces if they were sent to guard him. And Yoda needed Bail because apparently he was the only one who could keep the enraged rebels under control as Bail was one of the alliance's founders and one of its most respected members. So that left only Obi-Wan and though he did not want to do it, it felt good to know that at least one person in the galaxy – Master Yoda – had faith in him… a little bit.

With a heavy heart, Obi-Wan pulled his boot out of the mud again and approached Anakin. He looked awful: all bruises, blood, mud and rests of fruits. Leaves and twigs stuck to the mix of blood and mud. Slowly, Obi-Wan freed him from the tree he was tied to, tied his hands behind his back and led him away. Anakin staggered and swayed, and had Obi-Wan not caught him in time, he would have fallen down.

"I can walk on my own", he growled immediately and tried to yank himself free from Obi-Wan's hands.

"Yeah, sure, I can see that", Obi-Wan commented and let him go, only to see him topple over. _Always so stubborn…_ "Come on now, Anakin, don't be stupid. You very obviously can_not_ walk on your own." With that, Obi-Wan pulled him up again and, fortunately, Anakin stopped being stubborn and trotted along with him.


	30. Pity

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews!**

Anaya: **Yes, Qui-Gon is very clever and he knows a lot of things about the mysteries of the Force but he's not tactful at all ;-) Hunchback of Notre Dame, hmm...yes, that's a nice comparison. Though, of course, Quasimodo never did such evil things like Anakin. Thank you very much for your kind review and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. **

Phoenix Red Lion: **You're not reading too much into this, you actually got that very right ;-) It's just Obi-Wan who hasn't understood it yet ;-) **

Geri K: **You feel sorry for Anakin? That's great!!! People always resort to evil to kill evil... yes, that's the problem, isn't it? And that's what I like so much about Star Wars, that Luke shows another/a better way to defeat evil. **

Sentrosi: **A fair trial would last milleniums, lol, yes, imagine all the witnesses they would need! But, on the other hand, you mustn't forget Anakin/Vader has only been on the dark side for four years yet, so he hasn't blown up Alderaan yet ;-)**

Jedi Knight 13: **Bittersweet... yes, that's a good word... I wrote that chapter in order to show that good and evil get all mixed up. The rebels think they are righteous but they resort to evil to fight evil. All of them are in a terrible dilemma and what happens then is quite...tragic.**

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**_Come on now, Anakin, don't be stupid. You very obviously cannot walk on your own_. Anakin had been too stunned by that to go on protesting. He had not been called that _in years._ He had got used to being called _Darth/Lord Vader _or even _Ani_. That did not mean he liked those names. No, quite the contrary, they were pretty stupid. His mother had decided to baptise him Anakin and thus that was his name. He had never really understood why he should get another name just because he was a Sith now. Maybe Darth Vader was rather a title than a name, he mused. _Lord Anakin _would probably sound ridiculous… And naturally, _Ani_ was totally out of question. Well, it had perhaps been a clever idea to stop struggling because things were already bad enough – humiliating enough. Of course, the rebel scum had laughed derisively when he had fallen over his own feet and he did not like being laughed at. He did not like being helped by Obi-Wan either, though. Being in need of help from that wimp, that hypocrite, that coward was much worse than getting mud and stones thrown at you! At least the wuss kept his arrogant mouth shut… _You very obviously cannot walk on your own. _Stupid know-it-all… It was a shame Anakin would never be able now to make that smart alec pay for all he had done to him. 

They entered Yoda's so-called house. Anakin had been here earlier that day when the stupid little green troll had tried to make him give some information away. Of course, the little _Master_ had interrogated him in a very Jedi-Master-like way: he had tried to stare through Anakin for a very long time. It had been exhausting to block his thoughts from someone for such a long time and Anakin's head felt still numb from the exercise. The low ceiling had done its bit as well. Plus, it had given him quite a shock to see Yoda alive. At first he had thought it had been something like a new trick by Qui-Gon in order to annoy him. But Yoda seemed completely real and alive. Sidious had always told Anakin he had gloriously killed the old Jedi-Master! Anakin could not believe Sidious had lied to him! Why did the Sith-Master need that? _Stupid show-off. _Anakin could have pretended just as well he had won the duel against Obi-Wan and killed him. But he had not done that? Why? Because, even though the light side was weak, Yoda and Obi-Wan were still their most dangerous enemies. Anakin had thought it was vital to inform Sidious of Obi-Wan's survival so that the stormtroopers knew they had to look for the Jedi and hunt him down. But obviously Sidious had only his own plans and thought Anakin not someone worthwhile to inform on anything. _He's keeping things from me… Why? If we worked together, we could be far more effective. But he's only using me for his plans. What's he planning this time?_

Now Obi-Wan shoved him inside a chair and tied his hands to it. Much more loosely than the rebels had tied him. Anakin grimaced. Obi-Wan could have saved himself the effort. Anakin's mechanical wrists could not get sore anyway. Then Obi-Wan carefully removed a kind of cactus-leave from Anakin's left shoulder, which had stuck there deep into his flesh. Anakin hissed with pain. "Stop this! Don't touch me!"

Fortunately, Obi-Wan obeyed and stopped playing great benefactor. He just sat down on the floor (because the only other chair in this cave was Yoda's, which was obviously too small) and stared at the wall in silence.

Anakin still could not believe he had walked into that trap. He, Darth Vader, put out of action with simple stunning darts! It was absolutely pathetic! _I sense a trap. – Next move? – Spring the trap. _Anakin frowned. Where did that come from? Anyway, it had not been the most clever plan they had ever had, had it? _Spring the trap_. Anakin shook his head. He could not help but grin a bit. It was just too ironic. Here they were, mortal enemies, after springing traps together for years. And Obi-Wan had caught him simply by using that trick and Anakin had fallen for it. Well, something like that happened if you listened to your Master…

"Did you work out the trap?" Anakin asked Obi-Wan, who was still staring at the wall, obviously lost in thought.

Obi-Wan nodded without looking at him. "Yes. Together with Master Yoda and some of the rebels."

"Ah." Anakin had to admit it had been quite a clever trap. Devious, though. But of course that fitted perfectly with Obi-Wan's character. Anakin had always preferred direct confrontation. Anakin still had not understood why Obi-Wan had run away on Mustafar. At first he had told himself Obi-Wan had been afraid of him and his power. But it did not make much sense because Obi-Wan had been about to win. If he had just lifted up his fallen lightsabre more quickly, he could have easily finished Anakin off with a quick blow… Maybe he had hesitated to kill his former Padawan but that was something like Obi-Wan would say. Hypocrisy! Because if he had not wanted to kill Anakin, he should have never drawn his lightsabre in the first place. All the same, Obi-Wan was not someone who would run away from a battle. Sure, he had always tried to avoid fights as long as the situation could be settled in another way, the _famous Negotiator_. Obi-Wan had more than once gone against all odds, so you could blame Obi-Wan for many, many things but not for being a coward… in that sense at least. No, there had to be another reason… And Anakin badly wanted to find out before he would die. Curiously, he eyed Obi-Wan, who still made a point of not looking at him. He looked a lot older than the last time Anakin had seen him. He had got more grey hair and more wrinkles. And there was something else. Maybe it was the way he moved. There was not much of a Jedi's agility and grace left in his movements.

"So you raised my son", Anakin stated out of the blue.

Obi-Wan jumped a little. "Kind of", he answered vaguely.

"Kind of?! What do you mean, kind of?!" Anakin could feel the anger boil in him again. This was about _his_ son, about _Padmé's_ and his son, it was about the most precious child in the whole galaxy, and Obi-Wan just said he had "kind of" raised him.

"That is none of your business", Obi-Wan said in his usual reserved calmness.

"IT IS NONE OF MY FUCKING BUSINESS???!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN???!!! HE'S _MY_ CHILD, HE'S… HE'S… **_OUR_ **CHILD, BLOODY HELL, AND YOU'RE TELLING ME IT'S NONE OF MY FUCKING BUSINESS???!!!" Obi-Wan just stood up and went outside. "Where are you going?" Anakin yelled angrily. "Running away again, aren't you?!" But Obi-Wan did not even bother to answer but just closed the door behind himself. There were feelings inside of Anakin which he had not had for a very long time. A desperate longing, the feeling he needed to protect someone, but nothing was more intense than the anger. Anger towards Obi-Wan and the Jedi, who had taken _everything_ from him. It had happened when he had seen the child in Obi-Wan's arms, when Obi-Wan had uttered the name: Luke. _Luke_… They had chosen that name together. _Luke_ if their child was a boy, _Leia_ if it was a girl. Anakin had been so convinced it was going to be a girl… _I'm never going to see him again. I've never even spoken to my son._ Until now, Anakin had been relatively untouched by the fact of his soon-to-be execution. There was nothing worth living for, so the prospect of dying did not bother him much. But now he had suddenly learned he had a son, he did not want to die anymore. He wanted to see Luke, talk to him, tell him how much he loved him… He felt regret. Deep regret for everything that had been taken away from him.

Slowly, he reached out for the Force. He could feel Obi-Wan's presence still very near. He was probably standing guard in front of the cave. "Obi-Wan!" Anakin shouted loudly.

Obi-Wan really came in again, which was… astonishing. Anakin was still thinking about how he could best formulate what he wanted to ask, when Obi-Wan spoke quietly, "They have decided upon the sentence."

Anakin felt his heart sink a little. "Yeah, great. You needn't tell me. I was just interested if it was possible for me to, um… see Luke." It felt odd, pronouncing that name. As if, by just saying the name aloud, Luke really became his son. It was irrevocable now.

"No. I'm sorry but that's totally out of question." For a little moment, their eyes met and Anakin knew – no matter how much he raged – Obi-Wan would not change his mind. So he just accepted his fate. He had not really expected anything else. Why should they suddenly show mercy towards him? And he was too exhausted now to muster the energy to summon up his anger again. His body hurt and he felt as though he was going to vomit from the punches the rebels hand given him with their blasters. Still, he had had worse injuries. Compared to Sith-lightning, these little aches and pains were not that bad. If it had not been for the mud… It was stinking like hell and it definitely was _not_ normal mud. It seemed as if he was allergic to it. Everywhere it covered his skin (and it covered his skin everywhere!), his skin burnt and itched but much worse was the mud in his mouth and nose and worst of all was the mud in his eyes. He tried to blink it away but it did not help much and instead his sight got more and more blurred. He knew what it must look like: To Obi-Wan it certainly looked like he was crying but he did _not_ want Obi-Wan to think that! He cleared his throat demonstratively. "Um, could you please… I've got loads of mud in my eyes and it burns like hell…"

"Sure." Obi-Wan rummaged Yoda's drawers until he found some clean cloth, which he watered, and then he started to wipe the mud from Anakin's face.

It confused Anakin a little bit to notice Obi-Wan's hands were slightly trembling. _So he still cares…?_ When Obi-Wan had finished and cleaned the cloth in Yoda's tiny sink, Anakin spoke up. "You know, some days ago the stormtroopers captured a Jedi. She was still quite young, a Twi'Lek girl in her teens, I don't know if you knew her…"

Obi-Wan turned to face him, frowning. "I don't think I know her."

"I didn't want her to die and I really wanted to save her. But I didn't."

"So what do you want to tell me by that?" Obi-Wan seemed a little agitated. "You want to prove to me you're a _good_ person because you _wanted_ to save her? Now I tell you something: There's a big – a very big – difference between _wanting_ to save someone and actually _doing _it."

"I absolutely agree", Anakin replied calmly.

Suddenly a wave of anger flashed over Obi-Wan's features. "You can't mean that, that's – How dare you even suggest it?! No one wants to kill you in order to get their revenge, the only reason why we're doing it is because we have to save the galaxy from the threat you pose! How dare you compare the two situations?! She was a young girl who – and you're, you're…"

"Evil, evil, completely evil and a Sith", Anakin finished the sentence. "I never intended to compare the two situations, by the way. It was you who did that."

"Fine, so why are you telling me all of this?" Obi-Wan asked annoyed.

"Sidious said I mustn't show pity and I wondered – why?"

"Why what? What the hell do you want, Anakin?!"

"An answer."

Obi-Wan shook his head in desperation. "Why are you asking me this?"

"Because you have always a ready answer, haven't you? _Master_." Anakin stressed the old title, mocking it.

"You know what, I think even you should be clever enough to find out that yourself", Obi-Wan said rather coldly.

"Well, obviously I'm again too stupid – or should I say too evil? – to understand something like that", Anakin retorted just as coldly. "I thought maybe the wise Jedi-Master Kenobi would care to enlighten me. A fine Jedi and an honourable man you are, aren't you? Do your duty you will, sure of that I am."

"I will do what is _right_. I do pity you, yes, I truly do, because of what Sidious has made of you, but I don't pity you because you're going to die." Obi-Wan paused, averted his gaze and folded his arms over his chest. "They should come soon to give you the lethal injection."

"_They_? So you won't do it?"

"No, I won't."

Anakin snorted derisively. "Fine, let others do the dirty work for you, right? You're a coward, Obi-Wan Kenobi, the biggest coward I've ever met. Need to salve your clear Jedi-conscience, right? But I'm sure the rebels will enjoy it."

"Master Yoda is going to do it", Obi-Wan said softly.

"Wow, now I feel truly honoured."

Obi-Wan sighed and his shoulders sagged slightly. "Anakin – "

"Obi-Wan…" Anakin imitated Obi-Wan's tone and thus silenced him. Then Obi-Wan turned to leave. Just like that. _That's how you're going to say goodbye to me?... So you're going to leave me again. As you always did, Master. _"Obi-Wan?" Anakin called him back.

Obi-Wan turned slowly, his voice unsteady und uncertain. "Yes?"

"I hate you. And I don't want your pity." Anakin kept his voice calm and cold, and banned every trace of anger from it. He knew it sounded crueler like that.

Obi-Wan gave a short little nod, turned quickly away and left.


	31. Lies

**I have a very bad feeling about this chapter ;-) I fear some of you will be really angry at a certain person... can't wait for your reviews ;-)**

Sentrosi: **Erm...whom do you want to shoot? Oh-oh, the dark side I sense ;-) Thanks for reviewing!**

Phoenix Red Lion:** Thank you so much for your kind review!** **Yes, Anakin is deeply, completely, thoroughly confused. He has still - or rather again - love within him but at the same time there's still much hate within him. I'm interested to see what you think about this chapter...**

Anaya: **Thanks a lot for reviewing. I absolutely agree, Obi-Wan shouldn't listen to what everyone else says...Hmm, will he learn to believe in himself? Sorry, no Yoda in this chapter...**

Jedi Knight 13: **I'm glad you thought the conversation was emotional. Thank you!**

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_I hate you. And I don't want your pity. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. _

Obi-Wan was shaking all over when he left the cave. Did Anakin really mean that? It was odd he had said that. The funny thing about the sentence _I hate you_ was that you never said it to people you _really _hated. Obi-Wan would never go to Sidious and tell him "I hate you". That just did not work. No, the sentence _I hate you _was for people you cared about – or used to care about. People who had hurt you. Obi-Wan knew he should stop this. Stop imagining seeing the man inside the monster. And yet…

_You needn't tell me. I was just interested if it was possible for me to, um… see Luke._

He had sounded so sincere then. Just a father who was longing to see his son. But of course Obi-Wan knew he could not bring Luke here. How could he ever explain this to Luke? How could he explain to Luke that they wanted to kill his father? Obi-Wan truly wanted to fulfil Anakin's dying wish but it would mean giving Luke the worst possible trauma. Maybe… if he found a holographic recorder, he could –

"Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan jumped as if he had got an electric shock. He was relieved to see it was only Luke who was standing in front of him. "Luke…it's you… You gave me quite a shock."

"Oh. Ok. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

"The man who's in that cave… is he my father? I asked Beru but she said she doesn't know and I should ask you."

Obi-Wan gulped. _No. Oh no. Not this. _Of course. Anakin had said certain things on Tatooine. _Oh no. I'm not ready for this. Why does it have to happen now? He's much too young for this._

"Obi-Wan?" Luke prodded.

"Yes?" Obi-Wan asked feebly, a crazy hope Luke could have forgotten about his question.

"Is he my father?"

"No", Obi-Wan said simply. And that would be the end. Anakin would be dead within a few hours and Luke would never get to know more about him. His father would stay a myth forever, the _Jedi_ who married the _Princess_, and this nightmare would be over. There would always remain a faint ache in Obi-Wan's heart but Luke would be free of it.

"I thought so", Luke commented. "The Jedi-children said he is my father and he's evil and they said I'm evil too because he's my father. And I told them he's not my father because my father was the best and the bravest and the strongest Jedi ever. A girl said that I was lying and that I'm evil and then she hit me. But there was another girl, she was older and she was nice and she told the other girl to stop."

That shattered the last bit of Obi-Wan's self-control. How could they! How could they do that to Luke??!! He had never been so angry before in his life. And at the same time, he felt completely helpless.

"Obi-Wan, what's wrong?" Luke asked worriedly. "Why are you crying? Are you sad?"

"Yes, I am", Obi-Wan choked and gathered Luke in his arms. "I'm so sorry, Luke, I-I-I'm so sorry. I'm sad be-because they say such things t-to you and because they h-hit you." _My poor little boy… How will you ever be able to live a normal life? I wish I could protect you from all of this but I can't. How can they do that to you? How can they be so cruel? _

"Why do they say such things?" Luke whispered.

With trembling fingers, Obi-Wan stroked the little boy's hair. "Luke, you have to understand that they have had a very hard life. They once lived in a great temple together with many other Jedi until one day their temple was destroyed by someone very evil. They are immensely sad and very angry and sometimes they search for someone to blame for all that has happened to them. Of course it is very wrong that they say such things to you because however hard their life is – nothing of that is your fault, naturally."

"Ok. They said all the time I was lying because my father was evil they said. But I'm right. He was the best Jedi ever, wasn't he?" Luke asked anxiously.

"He was", Obi-Wan answered in a broken voice. "He was the best Jedi ever."

"Ok, I'm going to tell them", Luke said confidently.

"_No!_ No, Luke. It's better if you don't get near them again."

"Why?"

"I think they are still angry. Please, just stay with Beru. I have some business to do but I will be back in a minute and then we'll leave this place as quickly as possible."

"And go back to Tatooine?"

"No, Luke, we can't go back there", Obi-Wan said apologetically.

"We won't go home? But I never said goodbye to Kimmy and Tom and Naare."

Obi-Wan was seized by a new fit of sobs. "I'm… s-sorry. We will go somewhere nice, somewhere very nice, I p-promise. Somewhere with lakes and green trees and flowers. And maybe you can send a holo-message to your friends and say goodbye to them."

"That's ok then…I guess."

"Ok. Now, go to Aunt Beru and please stay with her."

"Ok."

"Promise me you'll stay with her."

"Yes, ok, I promise. I can help her pack our things and tell her we're going to go to a world with lakes and green trees", Luke said enthusiastically.

Obi-Wan gave him a little clap on his back. "That's a very good idea. See you later, Luke." Luke hurried away. Sighing, Obi-Wan straightened up and went to see Bail Organa.

The senator seemed to be in a mood similar to Obi-Wan's. He was gloomily pacing through the swamps far away from the rest of the rebels and the Jedi.

"Master Kenobi." He forced a thin smile when he noticed Obi-Wan.

"Senator Organa. You seem… distracted."

"Distracted?" Bail shook his head in slight amusement. "Rather depressed, angry, disillusioned...What else can you be after what happened earlier this day? I'm very sorry for what happened. I can imagine how you must feel about it and I regret I couldn't stop them."

"But…" Obi-Wan was puzzled. No one had ever accepted it like that. "You were able to stop them in the end. Did you mean it when you said you wanted to leave the alliance?"

"Yes, of course I meant it."

"Don't."

"What? I thought you of all people would somehow… _expect_ me to do it."

Obi-Wan smiled at his old friend. "No, I would never expect that of you. What happened today was…"

"Horrible."

"Horrible, yes. But a part of me can understand them. They are not trained in the Jedi ways. They don't believe controlling your anger is necessary. They need you, Bail. They need someone like you who can somehow keep them under control. Someone who reminds them that they must stick to their ideals. If you leave and let them have their way, then our last hope is gone. Please, don't give up."

"Alright, I see your point. I will not leave the alliance. Oh dear, I really come to understand why they called you the Negotiator."

Obi-Wan grimaced. "Oh please, not that stupid old nickname again."

"Ok, I'm sorry. I won't call you this again if it bothers you. Let's just say I won't give up because you don't give up either. If the alliance needs me, the Jedi-Order needs you."

"I have to admit I was shocked to see that some of the Padawans took part in…it. They seemed to regard it as a kind of game and that's just not the Jedi way."

"And that's why they need you. As a role model."

"Oh yeah, a fine role model. An old and broken man who has trained the one who destroyed the Jedi-Order."

Bail smiled reassuringly at him. "Honestly, if _you_ are old, what is Master Yoda then?"

Obi-Wan chuckled softly. "Ok, ok, I see your point."

"He made a very fiery speech and left quite an impression on the rebels." Bail became grave again. "You haven't come to talk to me about the rebel alliance and the Jedi-Order, have you?"

"Actually, no", Obi-Wan admitted. "I… oh, I really don't know how to say this… It will probably sound mental to you…"

"Now you're making me curious."

Obi-Wan forced a smile. "Unfortunately, it's not as funny as that. I, well, when I was in the cave with Anakin – Vader I mean, he asked me if he could see Luke before he, well, dies."

Bail stared at him in shock. "You didn't…"

"Of course I didn't bring Luke there. Luke would never understand that. I can't tell Luke about that. Maybe when he's older, but I don't know if it will do any good."

"I don't think I'm ever going to tell Leia. She thinks we're her real parents."

"And that's good. Yes... You know, I thought about giving him at least a holograph of Luke. I know he doesn't deserve it and I shouldn't feel sympathy towards him but he's going to die anyway and he really seemed to mean it when he enquired about Luke. Luke's his son after all and…"

Bail looked sympathetically at him. "Yes, I understand. I think that's a… nice idea. Obi-Wan, I'm really sorry for everything that happened to you. And to Anakin. I still can't believe he would do…such things."

Obi-Wan nodded, his eyes cast to the ground. "I wondered if you knew someone here who has a holographic recorder."

"Sure. I'll get you one", Bail promised. "And here-", he handed Obi-Wan a holograph, "give this to him too."

Obi-Wan stared at the holograph. It showed a little family: A handsome woman with a little girl, who had a brown ponytail, on her lap and a man who had his arm wrapped around his wife's shoulders. The three of them were beaming happily into the camera. "You look…happy", Obi-Wan finally said.

"We are. You know, I promised to Padmé I would go on with the alliance and fight the Emperor and so I will do. I think she would want us to at least inform Anakin that he has children."

_Obi-Wan…there…is good in him. I know there is…still…_Obi-Wan sighed. _I'm sorry, Padmé. It seems I've failed you too. _"Yes, she would want that…"

"It's safe to show him the holographs, isn't it? I mean, he can't communicate with the Emperor and tell him about the children, can he?"

"I've never heard it was possible to communicate actual information via the Force. If two persons share a bond, they can only feel each other's presence and maybe their emotions, nothing more."

"Alright. I'm just worried for Leia. We love her so much and she means everything to us and if anything happened to her…"

"Yes, I understand. I'm truly glad Leia lives with you."

"Thank you, Obi-Wan."

"Thank you too."

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Anakin sat alone in semidarkness, enchained to the uncomfortable chair. He regretted he had resented Obi-Wan like that because right now he was utterly bored. And he did not like waiting. Waiting for his death. A tiny bit of fear crept inside him at the prospect of what was going to happen to him. Fear, yes. He had never been the _Hero with no Fear_ the media had created. But no one had ever understood that. No one but Palpatine, which was the whole problem, actually.

"Ani. I'm sorry." It was Qui-Gon again…

"Sorry for what?"

"I couldn't make them spare your life."

"Oh. I didn't know you still cared for me", Anakin said, seriously surprised.

"Why else would I try to reach you again and again and listen to that rubbish you keep telling me?"

"Oh. I see." Until now, Anakin had never given it much thought. Qui-Gon's always recurring voice had been nothing but a meddlesome annoyance.

"Are you afraid?" Qui-Gon asked worriedly.

"A little bit…I guess", Anakin admitted.

"I'm sure it won't hurt. They're probably going to give you some poison and then it's going to be just like falling asleep. You'll not feel any pain at all."

"Yeah, Obi-Wan will make sure it doesn't hurt, won't he?"

"Anakin, please", Qui-Gon said sadly.

"Why does he… I _hate_ him!" Anakin knew he sounded pathetic, his voice trembling with anger and desperation.

"Please, don't hate, Anakin. Don't leave this life like this. Leave the hate behind."

"That's easy. Bring Obi-Wan here and let me strike him down and then I can leave my hate behind."

"You don't mean that."

"I do."

"It wouldn't change a thing and you know that. Even if you killed Obi-Wan, it wouldn't change the fact that he _betrayed_ you, as you put it."

Anakin knew Qui-Gon was right. Even if Obi-Wan was dead, the hurt would not go away. "Why?! Why did he have to do it?"

"You better ask him."

"He won't come back, will he?" Anakin asked quietly.

"I don't know", Qui-Gon answered evasively and Anakin knew it meant _"He won't come back."_

"I guess I'll just have to accept it. My pitiable life is over… Fine. It was long overdue, I suppose. Have you any idea how often I escaped death just in the last second?" Anakin bit back his tears. He hoped that, if he just kept talking, he would forget to be afraid of what was going to come. "Everybody kept scolding me for my recklessness. I guess you cannot always be lucky, can you? _If_ there's any such thing as luck… I don't think there is. Will you stay with me when it happens, Qui-Gon?"

"If you want me to stay…"

"Yes."

"Alright."

"Thank you", Anakin said truly grateful.

"You're welcome. And, Anakin, I assume there's a second lightsabre in your cloak."

"What?!? How – Why didn't they take it from me?"

"They probably thought you would only carry one lightsabre with you and so they didn't even frisk you."

"Are they completely dumb?!"

"Apparently they are. Anyway: If you leave the cave and turn to the right you'll find a starfighter behind the stones. But as soon as you leave this cave, there will be a tremendous alarm system going crazy, so you better leave very quickly."

"But Luke –"

"Ani, will you be reasonable!"

"I will kill all of them if I have to but I will not leave without my son!"

"You can't! Bloody hell, you have the whole rebel alliance and the Jedi-Order against you! And what do you think would happen if uproar broke lose? There will be victims, innocent victims, and it could be your son as well as any other youngling!"

Anakin stopped in shock. "Ok…ok." He would do nothing that could endanger Luke! "Ok, I will just leave for now but I will come back and get my son back."

"Yes, yes, I'm sure you will."

"And I will try not to hurt anyone while doing so", Anakin promised Qui-Gon. He felt like he owed something to his first Master.

"May the Force be with you."

"And with you too. Thanks a lot for your help." Anakin closed his eyes, grabbed the lightsabre in his cloak with the Force and directed it towards his hand. He was lucky Obi-Wan had tied him so loosely because thus he could cut the shackles, which tied his other hand, without damaging his mechanical hand very much. Anakin smirked to himself when he got up and ran for the starfighter. _And thanks a lot for your help too, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Hmm, the flaw of compassion this is…_


	32. A Decision

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews...they made me update very quickly ;-)**

i luv ewansmile: **A new reviewer, yippeeh! I KNEW someone of you were going to be mad at Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon really likes to rebel and meddle in things... ;-)**

Anaya: **It's good to know someone's still on Qui-Gon's side ;-) I could have never let Anakin die just like that!**

Voldy's pink teddie: **Thank you very much for such a long and thoughtful review! I'm glad you liked this story so far. I agree with you: I really don't like such Anakin-Padmé-fanfics in which Padmé thinks something like "Oh my poor, poor Anakin, the evil Obi-Wan cut off your beautiful legs..." ;-) It doesn't mean I don't believe in redemption - I absolutely do believe in redemption - but Anakin/Vader has done horrible things which cannot be just completely _ignored_. I really hope this story is not going to disappoint you concerning this matter... oh-oh, I have a bad feeling about this... About the part when Qui-Gon hit Anakin: In the beginning of the story I put much emphasis on contrasting the characters. Qui-Gon and Anakin as the emotional ones who act on instinct versus Obi-Wan who is more reserved and wants to control his emotions. But of course it's ok if you think I exaggerated...ah, maybe I did... By the way, I really like your nickname!!! lol**

Jedi Knight 13: **Ah yes, Qui-Gon confuses everyone, doesn't he? But right now, Anakin needs this confusion. It could be healthy. **

Phoenix Red Lion: **Your last review really made me laugh: Yes, Anakin is definitely stupid, confused and a _little bit _slow ;-) I tried to write him as emotionally unstable or even getting slightly mental in this chapter. But on the other hand, who would be able to stay calm and think clearly in such a situation? Oh dear, I never considered Anakin might NOT go back to Sidious. Argh, that would have been the obvious thing to do...but too late to change it now :( Ok, hit him and me in the head with a 2X4...**

Sentrosi: **That sounds...awful. Sometimes I don't understand why people would want to waste their time with such stupid questions and all kind of bureaucracy... really, they could do something useful instead, like...writing fanfiction! ;-) **

Xenia Marvolo: **So you're still loyal to Anakin...very good, I like that. I hope this update was soon enough.**

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His heart pounding loudly, Obi-Wan slowly got back to the cave where Anakin was being held prisoner. He had a holograph of Luke and that of the Organa family with him. He knew this was the last time he would ever see Anakin. Well, at least he _thought_ he was going to _see_ Anakin. When Obi-Wan entered Yoda's house, he thought he had maybe gone into the wrong cave. But then his gaze rested on the chair and the cut shackles, and he was only thinking one thing: _LUKE!!! _

Obi-Wan whirled around and stormed back to where he had left Luke after taking the holograph. _Oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no! _Luke must not be lost, he must be safe! He raced into the cave where Luke and Beru were staying and shouted, "Luke, Luke, where are you?! LUKE!!!"

Beru came out of the cave, panic written all over her face. "Obi-Wan, what's wrong?" she asked nervously.

He tightly grabbed her shoulders. "Where is Luke?" he asked urgently.

"He's lying in bed. He's sleeping. Why, Obi-Wan, what's _wrong_? You look like…"

"Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure he's sleeping? Are you sure he's here? Are you sure he's safe?"

"Yes, come on, I will show you." She dragged him along, and, halfway inside the cave, Luke came running towards them. He was wearing his pyjamas and looked sleepy but thoroughly alarmed. Relieved, Obi-Wan collapsed into a nearby chair.

"Obi-Wan, why did you scream?" Luke asked anxiously. "Why did you scream?" he repeated when Obi-Wan did not find the words to answer. "Aunt Beru, what's going on? What has happened to Obi-Wan? Is he hurt? Has he gone mad?"

"I don't know Luke." Beru ruffled Luke's hair and made him sit down on her lap in order to calm him down. "I'm sure everything's fine. Let Obi-Wan just catch his breath and then he'll tell us what happened."

When Obi-Wan's brain was finally working normally again, he said, "He's gone. He… managed to flee. Somehow, some dark trick… I don't know…"

Beru subconsciously pressed Luke more tightly against her chest. "What if he comes back? With reinforcements?"

Obi-Wan used the Force and searched for Anakin's presence. Obi-Wan could not tell where he was but he was definitely far away already. He scolded himself. Why had he not used the Force earlier instead of panicking and running wild? What was wrong with him? Was Luke right? Was he going mad? "He has left Dagobah. I have to inform Master Yoda immediately. Get your things packed. You have to leave Dagobah. You're not safe here anymore." He made to leave but Luke called him back.

"What's going on? Why is it not safe here? I'm afraid! _What's going on?_" Tears started running down Luke's cheeks. "Where are you going, Obi-Wan? I'm afraid! Don't go!"

Obi-Wan knelt down in front of the little boy. "Don't be afraid. I will come back, ok? You're safe as long as you stay with Beru. Trust in the Force."

"But I don't know how to trust in the Force."

"Trust in your feelings. You're brave and strong, Luke, I know you are. But you need to hurry now. You have to leave this planet quickly."

"I love you, Obi-Wan."

"I love you too, Luke."

"Bloody hell, where _are_ you going?" Beru asked and she sounded just as nervous as Luke.

"You know I have to do this", Obi-Wan answered. "I've waited much too long. I can't let things go on like this. I have to finish it. The earlier I do it, the better."

"Why? Can't we go just somewhere and hide?"

"I'm afraid we can't hide forever. He's going to find us. He can be very stubborn."

"Ok. I don't like it but I guess I can't change it. Just be careful, ok?"

"If anything happens, there's still Master Yoda or Bail Organa to whom you can turn if you need help."

"Don't talk like this. You promised Luke to come back."

"Well, yes. Ok, I will come back. May the Force be with you." Obi-Wan embraced Beru and Luke one last time and then he hurried to tell Yoda about the latest events.

"Master Yoda! Master Yoda!"

"Hmm?" a voice behind him said suddenly.

Obi-Wan quickly turned around to see Yoda sitting on a little tree, blinking sleepily at him. "Master! Vader's gone!"

"What you say?"

"Vader's gone. He fled but he didn't manage to kidnap Luke or anyone else. But I'm sure he's going to come back. With reinforcement. We have to leave Dagobah."

"Hmm… An idea you have how he could be able to flee?"

"No, but that's not so important now, is it? We have to find another planet where…" He trailed off when he noticed Yoda's piercing glance. "Oh no, Master! You can't honestly believe I helped him to flee!?"

"Hmm, I never said that. Another planet we must find where we can establish the Jedi base and hide Luke from the Sith. Vader –"

"I will go and capture him and bring him back", Obi-Wan declared before Yoda could suggest something else.

"Oh-hmm." Yoda eyed him curiously. "But not even a lightsabre you have in order to fight him."

"Oh. Yes, that's right. But I hardly think this is about lightsabres. The Force is my ally."

"And a strong ally it is, yes. Hmm… Careful you be, young Obi-Wan. Worried I am about you. Very dangerous it is. My lightsabre you will take."

"I guess it could be dangerous but, no thank you, I don't need your lightsabre. I'm out of practice and I would never stand a chance against him."

"Then interested I am how to defeat him you plan."

"The Force is with me."

"Hmm. Reckless you have become?"

Obi-Wan could not help but smile a little bit. "Well, I had a reckless Master and a reckless Padawan. It had to rub off sometime, I guess."

"Don't like this, I do", Yoda said grumpily. "To Qui-Gon, I will speak. His fault all of this is, I'm sure. Reckless things he's telling everyone."

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Obi-Wan was a bit nervous. His arfour unit had broken down several minutes ago and that meant he had to do all the flying on his own. If the condition of this starfighter was as bad as that of the astromech-droid, he was not going to last much longer. Obi-Wan had never liked flying but flying in a piece of junk was really scary. Naturally, the rebel alliance did not have much money and they could not just buy a starfighter from the normal corporations. Of course, some of their starfighters were in much better shape than this one but they were not ready to give them to Obi-Wan on his suicidal mission. That was what they thought he was doing. They did not want to waste one of their better starfighters because they were positive Obi-Wan was going to get blown up by the Empire anyway. Well, Obi-Wan had never actually mentioned he was going to pay a visit to the Emperor's starfleet. No, all he wanted to do was seeing Dex again. But he thought it would be wiser not to tell Master Yoda about it. Or anyone else. No, he had told his plans to no one. He had finally come to understand he neither needed to listen to Yoda nor to Qui-Gon. Certainly, both of them were very wise man and if he needed some advice concerning the Jedi-Code he could always ask them (and would definitely get two completely opposing answers). But they were not of great help in this matter. It was Obi-Wan who knew Anakin best and that was his chance. Drawing a division between Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader was pointless. Anakin was Darth Vader. Darth Vader was Anakin. _You cannot regard someone without their background. And without their **emotions**_. Obi-Wan knew how Anakin's brain worked – of course Anakin was totally unpredictable in himself but Obi-Wan probably came closest to know how his brain worked. And that meant, Obi-Wan did not have to fight his own feelings. It was not wrong that he had not been able to kill Anakin on Mustafar. It was not wrong either that he had cut off one arm of Anakin. Wrong was that they had fought in the first place. You could not return like for like. That was why he did not have a lightsabre with him. He knew that if it came to a lightsabre-duel, he had already lost. He was old and had not practised for a very long time whereas Anakin had the power of the dark side. No, winning a lightsabre-duel against Anakin was impossible. Obi-Wan was not entirely sure yet, what his plan was like. Maybe he was really becoming reckless because rushing into something without so much as a plan was just not him. But he knew they were going to meet again anyway since Sith and Jedi were the opposing powers in the galaxy. The Sith were not going to rest until they had eliminated the very last of the Jedi. The same applied vice versa. Jedi versus Sith meant Obi-Wan versus Anakin. The confrontation would come, so why put it off? Putting it off would only lead to more senseless fights, more innocent victims and more sleepless nights for Obi-Wan. 

Obi-Wan had finally understood it on Dagobah. He had seen the suffering, he had seen what had happened to Luke, to the Jedi, to the rebels, to Anakin and to himself. He needed to put an end to such suffering. He knew _he_ had to do it. There was really no one else. Running away from that responsibility had been wrong. He knew what he was doing now was going to result either in his or Anakin's (or both') death. Of course, there _could_ be another option. Very unlikely, though.

Obi-Wan had remembered a conversation he had had with twelve-year-old Anakin. They had argued about Luvia, a woman who had been a dark Jedi once and – in Obi-Wan's opinion – was still dangerous and evil. Anakin had unreservedly believed in the good in her.

_I know she was on the Dark Side of the Force. But she has understood she made a mistake. She's not evil anymore._

_You call that a mistake? Have you any idea how many beings she killed without a reason? I wouldn't call that a simple mistake, which you can quickly forget._

_She did never say it was a simple mistake, which you can quickly forget. She regrets her actions very much. What else can she do than regret? She can't make alive again the beings she killed._

Maybe, maybe his twelve-year-old Padawan had been right then and Obi-Wan had let himself be manipulated by his feelings and by his close interpretation of the Jedi-Code. Luvia had always been a touchy topic. She was one of Obi-Wan's and Qui-Gon's many disagreements and probably their biggest disagreement – at least at that time. But Anakin had been forgiving and understanding. Not just to Luvia – to Obi-Wan as well. Always. And though the young Padawan was gone now, his ideals remained in Obi-Wan's heart. If a return from the dark side of the Force was possible, Obi-Wan was determined to bring Anakin back on the good side. _If_ it was possible. And that was what Obi-Wan needed to find out because obviously he could not seek Yoda's advice on this. Master Yoda, who had as much dark side in him as Tatooine had lakes. Obi-Wan needed to speak to someone who knew about the dark side. There was only one person who was qualified for that and Obi-Wan did not like the idea at all.

He needed to see Luvia Glndetrtshr.

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**So Obi-Wan got it...FINALLY! We've known all along he shouldn't just always listen to everybody else but himself, haven't we? ;-) Go, Obi-Wan!!!**


	33. ObiWan meets Luvia

**Thanks for reviewing:**

Geri K: **"Qui-Gon was always hard on Obi-Wan maybe he knew that was the only way to get the best out of him." Ah yes,** **this comes very close to what I want to write ;-) Qui-Gon is not very tactful but he has Obi-Wan's best interests at heart. _Of course_ there will be another confrontation between Obi-Wan and Anakin/Vader, I promise! Soon. Very soon. **

Sentrosi: **Erm... "Aigh! Yodaspeek?" Ok, I'll just ignore it... ??? lol**

Jedi Knight 13: **Oh yes, Obi-Wan learns a lot. I tried to make Obi-Wan's learning process an essential part of the story. Because in the movies he was always just the great Jedi Padawan/Knight/Master and so I felt it waould be interesting to discover how he matured. Oh, and he still has much to learn ;-)**

Xenia Marvolo: **Of course it is not right what Anakin did but I think part of me can understand him. I sympathise with him too because he has suffered a lot and still does, but one mustn't forget how much suffering _he_ caused. Anyway, Obi-Wan in action...erm, yes, I'm not very good at writing action, so... ok, there's a bit of action in the next chapter...a little bit...**

Anaya: **You know, when I started writing this fanfiction I was completely on Qui-Gon's side too and I thought it was just right for him to save Anakin. I have to admit I was a bit surprised when so many reviewers sided with Obi-Wan and criticised Qui-Gon - especially during the first chapters of the story. But I guess that's the great thing about writing on FFN, getting feedback and discovering new things in your own story ;-) ** **And, of course, Qui-Gon said "There's always a bigger fish" and that's the cleverest thing ever :P **

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Dex had been of great help – as always. If no one else knew, Dexter Jettster did. He had given Obi-Wan Luvia's current whereabouts, they had talked a bit about the good old days and now Obi-Wan was on a planet called Keysho. He had asked his way through the local people about her and in the end he had been sent here. It was in the wilderness, far away from the bigger cities. Keysho was not what you would call a beautiful planet. Its cities were extremely dirty and so was its nature. The people here did not seem to care much for their environment because everywhere was litter and not just the usual little packages – no, it looked as if everybody just dumped here what they did not need anymore, sometimes even broken down speeders or swoops. Non-functioning power poles stood like skeletons on the plains. No one, not even the most primitive cultures, used power poles today. Normally, they would have been removed before long, but here nobody seemed to care.

Obi-Wan reached out to the Force and finally he sensed something: a Force-sensitive was very close. The Force led him to a corrugated-iron shack. Suddenly, the similarity of his and Luvia's situation striked him. Both were or had been in hiding in the wilderness on an inhospitable planet. Hesitantly, he knocked at the door (which almost broke down at the contact with his knuckles). It seemed to take hours until the door was opened. Obi-Wan found himself face to face with an old woman. His first thought was that she looked like a witch in children's holovision. Her once dark curls had turned to a dirty colour of grey and were sticking out in every direction. Her eyes were the dull yellow of someone who had meddled with the dark side of the Force. Obi-Wan had almost not recognised her had it not been for the big scar which covered the left half of her face. It took him some time to notice a blaster was pointed directly at his heart. _Oh. That doesn't start very well. _

"What d'ya want?" Luvia snarled.

"Erm…" Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably and the blaster was pressed more deeply into his chest. "Hello Miss Glndetrtshr."

She stared incredulously at him and her eyes focussed for a moment. "Kenobi?" Miraculously, she removed the blaster from his heart. "Now, what in the name of the fucking Force are ya doin' here?"

"I'm sorry to bother you but I have a… problem. And I would be very grateful if you could give me some advice on it because… I lack the knowledge in it."

She laughed. It sounded hoarse and rather creepy. "Since when d'ya need advice? Ya always know ya fuckin' Jedi-rules, don't ya?"

"It's not about Jedi-rules, that's the problem", Obi-Wan admitted.

She pondered him for a while, then she laughed her odd laugh again and made a wide mocking gesture with her arms. "Well, Knight Kenobi, may I invite ya into my humble home?"

"Erm, thanks." Self-consciously, Obi-Wan stepped into the shack. Inside it looked even worse than from the outside. The floor was littered with all sorts of items: dirty clothes, leftovers from lonely meals and several empty bottles of Corellian Whiskey. Everything was dusty, and it smelled mouldy, sweaty and of Corellian Whiskey.

"Sit down, Knight Kenobi." She gestured towards a little couch with several brown stains. Uneasily, Obi-Wan sat down. "I'm gettin' something to drink", she explained and went into the other room. It took her quite some time and in the meantime Obi-Wan was experiencing a nagging feeling of…guilt. Since when had Luvia been living here? Had she come here after leaving the Jedi-Order because of Obi-Wan? Had she spent so many years like this?

"What're ya starin' at?" Luvia grinned at him and waved a bottle of Corellian Whiskey in front of him.

Obi-Wan forced a smile. "I was just wondering since when you have lived here."

Luvia's grin vanished in an instant. "I'm fine", she snapped. "No need to pity me."

"I wasn't", Obi-Wan lied. "It's really nice here."

"Stop that fuckin' rubbish, Kenobi. I know it's a hell of a place. So what d'ya want? I know ya not here because ya like me so much." She poured both of them a glass of Whiskey.

"Thanks", Obi-Wan muttered, cautiously sipped at it and winced slightly. It was really hard stuff. Luvia, however, just poured it down all at once. "Do you remember Anakin Skywalker?" he ventured forward.

"Anakin Skywalker? Ya mean that little boy of yours?"

"Well, yes. He used to be my Padawan but he's grown up now."

"Wow, I never suspected that", she remarked sarcastically.

"The thing is, he has been lured to the dark side and I was wondering…"

"Ah, that wasn' me if ya mean that. Haven' seen him for years thanks to ya."

"I didn't mean to accuse you", Obi-Wan said quickly. "I know who did it. Chancellor Palpatine, Lord Sidious, the Emperor – whatever you want to call him. I came here to ask you if a return from the dark side is still possible." A long silence followed that statement. Obi-Wan took another little sip of his Whiskey and Luvia scratched her scar.

Then Luvia said abruptly, "If I remember correctly ya told your Master it's _completely_ impossible to _ever_ return from the _dark path_, didn' ya? So you wanna hear my advice? Well, the safest thing is, just finish him off with a quick blow, behead him so he's not a threat anymore."

Ashamed, Obi-Wan stared down at his glass, which he kept twisting between his hands. "I'm sorry for that, Luvia", he said quietly. "I was wrong then. I should have given you a second chance as Qui-Gon did."

"Ya sure? How'd ya know I'm not evil anymore?" She bared her yellow teeth in a grin and poured herself another glass of Whiskey.

"Well, you've never betrayed the Jedi. I mean, I know you didn't like them but you never went back to that dark Jedi who had trained you, and gave him information about the Jedi."

"Yeah, that's true, but maybe I was just too afraid to risk my sorry skin."

Obi-Wan cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Yes, that's what I thought about you, didn't I?" he admitted honestly. He looked at her and saw the rags she wore, the untidy hair, the wrinkles around her scar and the bottle of Whiskey on the table next to the outdated blaster. "I'm…sorry for that. I'm really sorry and I don't think that about you anymore."

She shrugged it off with another grin. "Now ya wanna be friends with me, or what? Ya know, I think I don' wanna be your friend but maybe I can help ya with your little boy. He was nice enough, I guess." Suddenly she erupted into maniac laughter and now it sounded _really _creepy. Obi-Wan tried to decipher what was wrong now but she did not look at him. She looked at something – or someone – behind Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan's heart skipped a beat. _Oh no. I have a very bad feeling about this…_

"Hello there, Obi-Wan", a pleasant voice said behind him.

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**Cliffie! ;-) I know this chapter was rather short... but the next one is going to be VERY long and it's very difficult to write. Reviews might speed up the process, though ;-) **


	34. Confrontation

**Thank you very much for the reviews!!! I think it's in everyone's best interest if I don't waste time answering each review personally this time but get quickly to the story itself ;-) I hope you like it!

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Anakin could not help but smile self-satisfied. He enjoyed that feeling – the knowledge he had given Obi-Wan such a shock. Yes, his former Master had already gained his composure again – back to his calm Jedi-attitude – but it had been there: shock, surprise and maybe even fear. "I did not expect we would meet again so soon", Anakin admitted openly. "But that doesn't mean I'm not pleased to see you again, my old Master." He grinned tauntingly while Obi-Wan get up on his feet with a pretended casualty. "I had expected you to run away and hide again in order to set a devious trap for me. Anyway, it's good you're here now. A little duel against you is a welcome time-filler to me." While speaking, Anakin palpated the hilt of his new lightsabre, which Sidious had given him just a few hours before. He needed to get used to the feeling of the hilt in his hand. He could only hope it was a very good lightsabre that fitted to him because, in a duel with Obi-Wan, he could not allow himself any mistakes or uncertainties. He did not know in which condition Obi-Wan was. Had he maybe trained with Yoda? Or had he only taught Luke how to fight with a lightsabre?

"I haven't come to fight", Obi-Wan said calmly.

"So what do you want?" It was that simple question that made Obi-Wan at a loss for words. He himself seemed to have to think about an answer. But there had to be a reason Obi-Wan had gone to see Luvia. Anakin could not find any reason behind it. He could hardly imagine Obi-Wan and Luvia had just met coincidentally and she had invited him in for a...whiskey. No, the two of them had never been on friendly terms... It was all very very curious, indeed. Anakin relished in Obi-Wan's uncertainty for another moment but then he broke the awkward silence. "Ah, I understand. You probably want to _talk_ to me. Of course." He pulled a derisive face. "The famous _Negotiator._"

"Well, in fact, I _would_ like to talk to you…"

Anakin gave a short and humourless laugh. "There's nothing to talk about anymore. What a pity." He shrugged with feigned regret. "Let's finally finish it." With that, he ignited his lightsabre. It lay perfectly balanced in his hand. Good. "Unless you want to run away again", he could not resist the side-swipe.

"I don't want to fight", Obi-Wan repeated with stoic calm.

"Too bad. Now, let's get a few things right, Obi-Wan: Firstly, it's not you who has come to me. _I_ have come here. By the way, thank you for your help, Luvia", Anakin addressed the woman, who followed their argument with interest. "Second, I _will_ fight you. So, if you value your life, you better defend yourself." He took a step closer towards Obi-Wan, his lightsabre pointed directly at the Jedi's heart. Obi-Wan stared warily down at its red blade but he still had not drawn his own lightsabre.

"Firstly, I don't value my life anymore –", Obi-Wan started.

"How very tragic", Anakin commented sneeringly but inside, that little remark had shaken him a little bit because that was exactly how he felt too. Of course, he did not let that show on his face. "What is second?"

"Second, I don't possess a lightsabre anymore."

"Why?" Anakin asked surprised.

"Because I've seen how much harm can be caused by a lightsabre."

Anakin smiled only tiredly at that. "And _that_ cannot cause any harm?" He pointed his lightsabre at the blaster at Obi-Wan's belt. "A blaster can just as much kill or injure someone. You're just changing simple words. Well, that's the negotiator in you, I guess. You twist reality until it suits your needs, so you don't have to get your hands dirty. You pretend to be so noble but you just want to salve your bad conscience. Don't give me those empty phrases, Obi-Wan, I won't fall for it. I will still fight with a lightsabre." Obi-Wan grabbed his blaster. _He doesn't seriously want to fight against me with a blaster, does he?! _But Obi-Wan did not want to fight with his blaster. He simply laid the weapon down on the floor.

"You're right."

Anakin took a deep breath. He had not expected Obi-Wan to concede so readily. "Well."

"Well."

"Is there a third?"

"Erm… no. I don't want to fight, I _cannot_ fight because I don't have a lightsabre and that's all there is to it. So… I guess I surrender."

Anakin impatiently tapped his foot on the floor. He did not like how things developed. Something went horribly wrong, he was sure of that. With each passing second, he was getting more and more uneasy. Maybe this was a trap again. Maybe the blaster was going to explode any moment and tear the three of them to pieces. "I don't understand you", he complained and he dimly realised he sounded like a whining child. "I'm giving you a fair chance: Why can't we just fight a duel? You could defeat me, bloody hell, that's your big chance! Why are you so stubborn to refuse it?!"

"If you're so desperate to fight, then why don't you start?"

"I'm waiting for you to draw your lightsabre", Anakin said indignantly. He meant it. He wanted a duel to the death, he wanted to push his limits, wanted to forget himself in the action, but most of all he wanted to win and prove to Obi-Wan that he was so much more powerful.

"If I remember correctly, I already told you I don't have a lightsabre."

Anakin groaned in frustration. "Fine, I understand. If _that_ is the problem, I can provide you with a lightsabre."

And then Obi-Wan actually _grinned_. "Now, that's really an interesting new tactic… equipping your opponent with weapons."

Anakin bit his lip. Obi-Wan was right: He had been acting rather stupidly. Needless to say that the conversation was getting more and more frustrating to Anakin. And yet, a little part of him enjoyed that battle of words. "It's meant to confuse your opponent."

"Of course."

"Yeah."

That moment, the door burst open behind Anakin and a fourth person entered the little shack: Darth Sidious. All of a sudden, Anakin became very angry. It was so typical of Sidious! Never entrusting Anakin with anything, always double-checking on him because he feared that Anakin was not able to handle the situation on his own. Until Sidious had come, he had had everything under control! Well, _almost_.

"What are you doing here?" Anakin demanded to know.

Sidious stared at him, his eyes full of mistrust and silent anger. "Excuse me, Lord Vader? What were you saying?"

"I just wondered why you'd come here", Anakin stated a tad more politely.

"I've come here to help you with this…situation."

"I don't really need help. You see, I've already disarmed him." Anakin gestured to the blaster on the floor. He could swear he saw an amused twinkle in Obi-Wan's eyes. It only fuelled Anakin's anger. Obi-Wan was definitely going to pay for that!

"And yet he's still alive", Sidious mused.

"Well, of course he is", Anakin answered irritated. "Your orders were to bring you any Jedi so you could interrogate them in order to find out about their secret base. I was just going to do exactly that."

"Were you?" Sidious asked in a dangerous low voice.

From the corners of his eyes, Anakin saw Obi-Wan and Luvia follow the conversation with curiosity. Anakin gritted his teeth. He was not going to back down in front of them. "You question my loyalty?" he accused Sidious.

He knew immediately his boldness had been a grave mistake. Next moment he found himself under Sith-lightning attack and he was sent flying into the walls of the corrugated-iron shack making the whole shack break down. He heard Luvia shriek angrily and Sidious threatening him with something like "Don't be arrogant" and "Listen to your Master" and "Don't dare to judge me again". Fortunately, Sidious did not start another attack of Sith-lightning at Anakin. Crawling out from under the shack's walls, Anakin stumbled on his feet again and looked around. Parked nearby was the Emperor's shuttle. In the meantime, Sidious, who did not pay any attention to Luvia's complaints about her destroyed "house", had tied Obi-Wan and was leading him on board the shuttle. "In there!" he bellowed to Anakin. With growing frustration, Anakin followed them.

* * *

_In the Imperial battle-station_

The minutes (or had it been hours already?) were passing slowly. Anakin was bored. Sidious was trying to get information on the remaining Jedi and their base from Obi-Wan. He could have saved himself the effort. Obi-Wan was never going to betray the Jedi, Anakin knew that. Then Sidious had moved on to torturing ("If you don't speak, this will be the end for you, Master Kenobi. And it will be a slow and painful end."). Anakin was disappointed. He had thought Sidious more intelligent than that. Really, getting information from Obi-Wan Kenobi by torturing him? Anakin knew better ways to make Obi-Wan speak: for example bringing innocent sentient beings here and killing them one by one until you had all the information you needed. _That_ would definitely work. However, Anakin did not suggest any such thing. Sidious thought he did not need to tell him about his plans? Fine, so Anakin would not share his ideas with Sidious either. In addition to that, he was not interested in finding the other Jedi at all. Obi-Wan was the one on whom he wanted to take revenge and he could do that now. Provided that Obi-Wan would still be alive after Sidious would have finished with him. Right now, that did not look too good. Obi-Wan was tied to a rack, groaning in agony when his arms and legs were pulled in an impossible angle. Now Sidious started throwing Sith-lightning at him. It was obvious he had given up on getting information from Obi-Wan – he just wanted to finish him off now as painful as possible. Obi-Wan's body was twitching under the blue fire, he had abandoned the effort of being brave before long and was screaming in agony.

It was ironic how their positions had been reversed now, Anakin mused. Had Obi-Wan felt like this when he had watched the rebels torturing Anakin? His whole body paralysed, unable to do or say anything, and at the same time consumed by a desperate urge to surge forward and save his former best friend? The feeling was probably an instinct – Anakin had saved Obi-Wan's life so many times and it was something which had come natural. When Sidious gathered his strength for the final attack (Anakin _knew_ it was the final attack because he could feel the life-force being drained out of Obi-Wan very quickly), Anakin turned to leave. He did not want to witness this. However, he was stopped by Obi-Wan's soft voice.

"Don't go", he croaked weakly. "Anakin. You remember… you told me once, you wanted…to die in the arms of…someone you love. You remember? You…said no one…should…die alone. Please…don't leave me…alone now."

Sidious cackled hoarsely. "How very touching!"

Of course it was utterly pathetic but Anakin had firmly believed in that once. And he still thought it was cruel to let someone alone in death. Let someone die in a dark cell where they were consumed by their fear. Or in a muddy cave. _He left you alone on Dagobah_, a small voice in the back of his head reminded him. _And now he dares to ask this of you?! _Anakin stared at the crumpled person on the rack. _But what if you'd just swallowed your pride and asked him to stay? Would he have stayed with you?_ Anakin did not know the answer to that question. But then he realised it was not important at all. Staying would have been the right thing to do – whether or not Obi-Wan would have done it. But Anakin still hesitated. _It could be a trap_. Being so weak, Obi-Wan did not pose a threat anymore but on the other hand he could be very cunning – it would be wrong to underestimate him… However, there was no doubt Obi-Wan was dying and if it really was his dying wish – so be it.

"Stop for a moment", Anakin told Sidious.

Sidious turned around to stare at Anakin as if he had just turned into a Corellian giant frog.

"I need a word with him", Anakin explained himself.

"That's out of question."

"Why?"

"I sense much confusion in you."

Slowly, Anakin was getting angry. He was so sick of being patronised! "Yes, I _am_ confused! You didn't even listen to me! You know, I've known that Jedi for years and I just _might_ have a very good idea on how to make him give away the information we need."

Sidious eyed him warily. "If this is indeed your only interest, you may speak to him."

Anakin could tell Sidious did not trust him but he did not care at all. Sidious moved a few steps away and let Anakin approach the torture rack.

"So? Where's the Jedi base?" Anakin asked in a gentle tone. "You know you're going to die if you don't speak." He saw anger flare up on Obi-Wan's exhausted face.

"You know I…I will…_never_…betray them", Obi-Wan croaked. "You know...I…" He was seized by a coughing fit and could not go on.

Anakin positioned himself in front of Obi-Wan in order to shield him from Sidious' view. He racked his brain for an inhabited, unimportant planet. As he had spent many hours in the Room of the Star Charts as a Padawan, he did not have much difficulty in finding a good one. "Are the Jedi on Hoth?" he asked very quietly.

"I will…not…", Obi-Wan started again.

"Shh, you needn't speak, just nod or shake your head." Obi-Wan, however, did neither. Right now, Anakin really felt like cutting off that stubborn head… "Are they on Hoth?" he asked urgently. "I need to know. Are they on Hoth?" When he still did not receive any answer, he turned around to Sidious again and declared confidently, "Well, I told you it would be easy. Their base is on Hoth."

Sidious scrutinised him thoroughly. Anakin could almost feel the battle going on inside Sidious' mind whether he could trust his apprentice. _Well, that's the problem_, Anakin thought. _If you yourself are not honest with others, you are not ready to put trust in others because you must always suspect they're going to be just as dishonest with you as you are with them. _

"Well done, Lord Vader", Sidious said unexpectedly. "Prepare the troops to land on Hoth."

Anakin bowed. "Yes, my Lord."

"Would you like to finish Kenobi off? As a reward for your good work?"

Anakin frowned. "Well, he told us the Jedi's whereabouts, so there's no point in killing him, is there?"

"Of course there is", Sidious explained patiently. "He's a Jedi."

"Yes, but you said you wouldn't kill him if he gave you the information", Anakin contradicted him.

"Vader, Vader, you still have much to learn", Sidious said in his friendly-nice-Uncle-Palpatine-voice. "That's just not the way things work."

It was as if something inside Anakin's head had exploded. He did not know when he had become so angry but suddenly he was shouting at the top of his lungs. "You know what? I don't like _the way_ _things work!_ You lied to me AGAIN! But if I ever lie to you, you punish and torture me and that's just NOT FAIR! You think you can do what you want and you have all the rules I must obey but YOU'RE just doing what you want to do and you NEVER follow the rules that you force ME to follow! You think I'm a piece of junk and you can do what you like to me?! THAT DOESN'T WORK WITH ME!!! You hid your true identity from me for YEARS – yeah, Chancellor Palpatine, sure! You told me you'd defeated the oh-so-great, oh-so-strong, oh-so-mighty Jedi-Master Yoda but you have NOT! Hah, I know that now! And all the time you kept telling me I was weak and had failed because I couldn't defeat such a pathetic Jedi as Obi-Wan! I lost, ok, but at least I lost against someone WHO WAS TALLER THAN MY KNEE!!!" This time he was able to dodge the Sith-lightning in time. Too late did he realise that Obi-Wan, who was still tied to the rack and therefore could _not_ dodge it, thus got hit full force. It was probably not a very noble or brave thing to do, letting an unarmed, helpless, severely injured person get the punishment which you had provoked. Anakin was just about to interfere when Sidious abruptly stopped attacking.

"So you don't want me to kill him?" he asked Anakin in a false sweet voice.

"I want you to keep to what you say", Anakin replied indignantly.

"You know why I said what I said and did what I did. Now we must listen to the voice of reason."

"Oh, that's something entirely new", Anakin retorted sarcastically. "I've always been under the impression I had to listen to my emotions and my anger. Another lie?"

"Your anger is the tool which makes you stronger but in the end we have to do what is best for us."

"You mean _I_ am a tool which makes _you_ stronger. And _you_ decide what's best for _me_."

"I'm warning you, Vader", Sidious said in a low, dangerous voice. "I know what this is all about."

"Yeah, of course you know, you always know, don't you?"

"Don't let pity cloud your judgement, Lord Vader. You must not show weakness. We have already discussed it when you burned down the Temple and spared the Jedi. Watching him die will make you stronger."

"I'm strong enough."

"But you could be so much stronger!"

"What for? She's dead, there's no one left I have to be strong for."

"What about your son?"

"His life is not in danger. The rebels and the Jedi want to save him and we want to save him too – so there's really no one who wants him any harm. Unless…" Anakin paled. "WHAT! You-you… I know you have some evil plan again, haven't you? But I will NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN! IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO MY SON I WILL KILL YOU AND TORTURE YOU AND –"

"I do not want to harm your son", Sidious said sharply. "I merely want to protect him. Don't you see? The Jedi manipulate him with their brainwashing because they hope that one day he will be strong enough to destroy the Sith. They use him as a _tool_. They want him to turn _against_ _his own father_. They will _force him to_ _kill his own father_. And that is why we must destroy the Jedi – including your former Master – because we have to protect your son from them! But if you're reluctant to kill him I can do it. Step aside, please."

Anakin was trembling all over. He did not know what was right and what was wrong anymore. He did not know what to believe anymore. He did not believe Sidious anymore but what he was saying sounded just so much like the Jedi! Even if Sidious was a bad and evil and treacherous person, it did not mean Luke had a good life with the Jedi. And Anakin desperately wanted Luke to be happy and safe.

"Step aside", Sidious repeated and the warning in his voice was obvious.

"I promised Luke…to come…back", Obi-Wan suddenly muttered hoarsely.

So Luke was waiting for Obi-Wan to return? Yes, Obi-Wan was probably the closest thing Luke had to a father. And if Anakin let Obi-Wan die now that would mean two things: Firstly, Luke was going to be very sad and maybe, at his young age, he would not be able to cope with the loss. Second, Luke was going to hate Anakin. Because how could Anakin _ever_ explain to his son why he had killed the person Luke regarded as a father?

"Vader", Sidious warned him. "Will you step aside!"

"No", Anakin answered simply.

"I'm warning you one last time: Get out of my way."

"No."

"I need to kill him!"

"Well, then I'm afraid you have to kill me first", Anakin retorted grimly because, after all, Obi-Wan had been the closet thing he had had to a brother. And before he really knew what was happening, he was engaged in a fierce lightsabre fight against Sidious. The situation was oddly surreal to him: The red blades whirling through the air so quickly that they were nothing but a red blur. And the situation was familiar to him although he had never been there. The Master was dying, murdered by the Sith-Lord, and the Padawan was fighting the Sith-Lord now. But Anakin was a Sith-Lord himself. And Obi-Wan was not his Master anymore. The Sith-Lord was his Master. The apprentice fought the Master. The thoughts started spinning in Anakin's mind. He was getting more and more dizzy…

_Focus, my Padawan._

Was it Qui-Gon's or Obi-Wan's voice in his head? Anakin could not tell. _It's high time I do the same which Obi-Wan did for Qui-Gon. Killing that damned Sith and fulfilling my Master's final wish. _With new strength, Anakin thrashed his blade against Sidious'. But Sidious was not Maul: he was not an apprentice but a Master. And Anakin was not Obi-Wan: he was not such a great Jedi like Obi-Wan – and had never been. _I'm sure you will be a good Jedi. After all, it's Qui-Gon, who is going to teach you_. That was what Obi-Wan had told him on his very first day as a Jedi apprentice. Apparently, things had turned out quite differently from what Obi-Wan had predicted. Anakin gritted his teeth. _I **am** a good Jedi. After all, it was **Obi-Wan** who taught me._He reached out to the Force and, with a brutal Sith-lightning attack, he sent Sidious flying out of the door. Immediately, Anakin locked all the doors with the Force and manipulated the codes. He was lucky the imperial astro-mech droids were not as clever as R2-D2. It would take them some time to figure out the new codes. Sidious was locked out for the time being. Now Anakin rushed to Obi-Wan's side. Cautiously, he freed the unconscious and weak body from the rack. Obi-Wan was still alive. But he would not be so for long.

"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! Master!" Anakin called desperately. "I'm here!"

Obi-Wan's eyes fluttered up. "Anakin…" His lips tried to form a smile but failed in doing so.

Seeing his former Master so weak broke Anakin's heart. He wanted to take Obi-Wan's hand in his but he could not because he had only his mechanical hands. How he hated these hands! He felt so utterly helpless, not able to do anything, not able to hold Obi-Wan's hand, not able to say anything, just helpless, useless, incapable. As if he did not deserve to be here with Obi-Wan now. Someone else should be here, someone who could do anything for Obi-Wan, someone Obi-Wan loved because then he could at least... _die in the arms of someone he loved_.

With a trembling hand, Obi-Wan reached out for Anakin's left hand. Obi-Wan stopped when he touched it. "I'm sorry", he whispered.

"Wha-what are you sorry for?"

Obi-Wan's hand wandered up Anakin's arm until he reached the place where the artificial limb stopped. He clenched Anakin's real arm. "For cutting…off your…arm."

Anakin briefly shut his eyes. "You're not the one who has two apologise", he forced out. Cutting off an arm was ridiculous compared to what Anakin had done. Obi-Wan's fingers grasped deeper into Anakin's flesh. Anakin sensed the bond between them, still very fragile, but it was quickly growing stronger.

"Yes…yes. I have to apologise. I…failed."

Anakin could not think of anything to say to that. He averted his gaze. He could not endure looking Obi-Wan in the eye any longer. And yet he had to do it. He knew he should say certain things now because if Obi-Wan died… Anakin owed him that.

But Obi-Wan was not dying at all. Anakin sensed Obi-Wan's presence in the Force strengthening again. The Force was flowing around them, _between _them. And suddenly Anakin understood what was happening: Obi-Wan was living on Anakin's energy. He was drawing strength from their bond.

_Parasite! It was a trap. That was the reason why he asked you to stay. He's using you. He cheated on you. As soon as he's going to be strong enough again… Break off the bond! LET HIM GO! _

But Anakin did not let go of Obi-Wan's weak body. He did not shake off Obi-Wan's hand but, through the Force, helped him get his life-force back.

"Anakin", Obi-Wan murmured, "if I don't make it, please tell Luke I'm sorry."

"Don't say such things", Anakin croaked.

"I promised him to come back", Obi-Wan insisted. "You tell him I'm sorry, right?"

"You will make it, I know you will!"

Obi-Wan smiled, the smile which was reserved for Anakin and which usually would be accompanied with rolling his eyes. "You can't keep people from dying, you know that."

A plan started to form in Anakin's head. "But I have an idea how I could help you…" He had done it before, when he had only been an eleven-year-old boy. Maybe he could do it again. "If you allow me to enter your mind I can help you." He saw hesitation and doubt written all over Obi-Wan's face. Naturally. You do not let someone just enter your mind and let them _manipulate_ it. Something like that required a great deal of trust in the other's abilities. And not just in the abilities… Why should Obi-Wan trust Anakin now? Of course he did not, it was very apparent. But if Obi-Wan did not allow him to penetrate his mind, he would die. It seemed Obi-Wan had realised that as well.

"I don't have much of a choice, have I?"

"Don't worry", Anakin encouraged both Obi-Wan and himself. "I've done it before and now I've grown so much stronger in the Force."

"Very well then." Obi-Wan took a very deep breath and Anakin could feel him trying to draw calmness from the Force.

Anakin closed his eyes and let himself fall into the Force. Inside of him was still much of the dark energy he had used in order to create the Sith-lightning. _Oh great. Obi-Wan is not going to like that… _So, as a first step, Anakin just waited and let the Force wash that dark energy out of him. He knew he had to be completely calm and self-centred for his task. He sensed the bond between Obi-Wan and him and felt his way along it until he reached Obi-Wan's mind. He hit on barriers. Obi-Wan hid his feelings from him. It was a normal thing to do, the Jedi were taught to shield because they had to hide their thoughts from their enemies. The last time Anakin had invaded Obi-Wan's mind, Obi-Wan had been unconscious and thus had done nothing in order to hide his feelings. But now it was vital for Obi-Wan to lower his shields. _Master, please! _Of course Anakin could use force to gain admission and just tear down all barriers but he did not think that a good idea. So he very carefully and very patiently felt his way, moving along bit by bit. And finally, Obi-Wan opened up. The barriers broke down and Anakin was flooded by a wave of suppressed emotions: Doubt, trust, fear, hope, sadness, bitterness, love, regret, loneliness, grief, desperation, guilt, losses and infinite pain. This pain was much graver and deeper than the injury Anakin had healed as a little boy so many years ago. He could not fix this pain. Anakin had sworn to himself he would take revenge on Obi-Wan and cause him such pain he would wish he had never been born. Now Anakin realised he had already done that. It was becoming too much for him to take. He could not fight it any longer. He lost control and was dragged down by the maelstrom of Obi-Wan's feelings. He lost his bearings, was spinning around in the mad current, desperately reaching for something to hold on but meeting only nothingness. Until someone grabbed him firmly.

_Ani, will you be careful!!! You must get a grip on yourself! What the hell are you doing again?! Why are you in Obi-Wan's mind again? Didn't I make myself very plain when I told you never to do that again?!_

_It'll be alright_, Anakin suddenly heard Obi-Wan's voice in his, erm, Obi-Wan's or whosever head.

_I have my doubts about that_, Qui-Gon argued. _If I hadn't intervened…_

_There can hardly happen anything worse to me than dying, can it?_

_Oh yes, in fact, it **can** –_

_Master! I believe you'd help Anakin much more if you didn't say such discouraging things all the time!_

_You'd help me most if you just shut up_, Anakin piped up. Amazingly, the two of them fell silent immediately and Anakin was finally able to focus again. Healing Obi-Wan's injuries was rather easy as Obi-Wan was helping him this time. He showed Anakin where to go and what to do and so they had finished it in no time at all. When Anakin opened his eyes again, he was not nearly as exhausted as he had been the last time he had done such a thing. It was strange. He was still in the imperial battle station, he was still holding Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan's hand was still clutching his left upper arm. Anakin shook himself slightly in order to get a clear head again.

"You're ok?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Yes. You too?"

"I think so." Obi-Wan carefully straightened up. "Now what?"

Anakin had feared that question. Things would have been much easier had Obi-Wan died. "Sidious has definitely positioned guards behind every door", Anakin said matter-of-factly as if this was really just about escaping the battle station.

"What about downstairs?"

Anakin shrugged. "Worth a try, I'd say." Anakin looked expectantly at Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan looked expectantly back. "What's wrong? Why aren't you cutting through the floor?"

"You really don't have a lightsabre with you", Anakin stated baffled.

"I thought I had made myself very clear about that."

"Yes, you did…" _But damn it, you're a Jedi! A Jedi's lightsabre is his most precious possession! He must keep it with him at all times! **This weapon is your life!!! **How often did you hammer that into my head? _But now was probably not the time to discuss such matters and so Anakin cut a round opening into the floor with his lightsabre. Cautiously, he peered down. "The coast is clear", he informed Obi-Wan. "It's pretty deep. Do you think you can make it?"

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows. "Why should I not?"

"Well, a few minutes before, you almost died", Anakin replied slightly annoyed. "So I'd say this is a very justified question."

"I'm really fine and I think I can make it."

"Alright." Anakin jumped down first. He waited for Obi-Wan to land uninjured next to him, then he quickly strode to one of the on-board computers and loaded a holomap that showed the entire battle station's interior and every guard's position. The floor above them was heavily guarded and in addition to that, the number of guards at every exit of the battle station had been redoubled. Anakin sighed exhaustedly. Getting out of here was…difficult. But at least, that meant the rest of the battle station was practically deserted, with all the stormtroopers guarding the exits or the floor above. "Here, you see this corridor? It's used only very seldom. The corridor is clear and in case someone arrives, it's easy to hide into any of these side corridors." Anakin showed Obi-Wan the escape route on the hologram. "Here's the hangar deck. There are enough starfighters, ready to go. Don't use the turbolift, it is supervised all the time. But there on the left, that's a chute. It ends here, so maybe this could grant you a few extra seconds until the guards notice you. The starfighters are of the 2TT class. You know how to fly them, don't you?"

"Well, to be honest…"

"It's much the same as any other starfighter, it's just important to know that you have to press the brake with your foot. The pedal at the very right. Ah yes, in case you get lost: the code to the on-board computers is IT67883X."

"IT67883X", Obi-Wan repeated, "alright."

"Ok…" Anakin hesitated but then he took the lightsabre out of his inner cloak. The lightsabre which Obi-Wan had let fall down on Mustafar. The lightsabre which had cost Anakin his left arm. "I think you'll be needing this."

Astonished, Obi-Wan took the offered lightsabre. Naturally, he recognised it immediately. He looked at Anakin with an odd expression. "You kept it…", he finally said somewhat lamely.

"It's a good lightsabre", Anakin said evasively, "and it saved my life."

"Ah. I had been wondering how you'd been able to flee."

"Someone helped me", Anakin admitted.

"Who?" Obi-Wan asked flabbergasted.

"Qui-Gon."

"What!?! Qui-Gon helped you flee?" Obi-Wan said scandalised. "I can't believe it!"

Anakin pressed his lips together. Well, if Qui-Gon had not helped him escape, Obi-Wan would have had fewer problems now. He would be safe with the other Jedi on Dagobah and there would be one Sith less. Instead, Obi-Wan was on a hostile battle station and the odds of making it out of here alive were pretty low. Obi-Wan possibly had every right to regret Qui-Gon's actions.

"We'd better go now", Obi-Wan said.

_We?_ Anakin did not know what to do. Obi-Wan intently looked at him, waiting for an answer. _He thinks I hesitate because I can't decide on which side I am_. That was true of course but that point was rather minor. He hesitated because he did not know if he could go with Obi-Wan. If they could just fight alongside each other as if nothing had happened.

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan stood waiting next to the door.

"_We?_" Anakin was finally able to utter.

"Well, yes, I…I assumed you'd come too. The Emperor is certainly angry at you and that means you'd better leave this place. Plus, I doubt I can make it out of here on my own. I guess, if we try to do this together, there could be at least a little chance of getting out of here alive."

"Um…yes. I'm sure he's angry at me", Anakin agreed. _What an understatement! _

"Well, then come on." Obi-Wan gestured for Anakin to follow him and Anakin did so. Instinct, probably.

The corridors were deserted, no single stormtrooper crossed their way. Anakin could not believe Sidious could be so stupid and just let them have a clear road. Suddenly Obi-Wan stopped dead and pulled Anakin into a side corridor. Anakin looked questioningly at Obi-Wan.

"Probe droids", Obi-Wan whispered.

Anakin's spirits fell immediately. Underestimating Sidious had been a mistake from his part. If only one of the droids noticed them… That had already happened. A probe droid buzzed in front of Anakin's nose. Grabbing his lightsabre, Anakin sliced him in two halves. The problem was that eight more probe droids approached now. _Eight!_ And not one of them must escape. The droids fired laser beams at them. Anakin flung himself down on the floor. Next to him, Obi-Wan did the same.

"We have to guard the door so they can't escape", Obi-Wan instructed him.

Fast as lightning, Anakin rolled himself towards the door, got on his feet again and, with a well aimed double strike, sent two droids, which were about to escape through the door, flying into the opposite direction. At the same time, Obi-Wan jumped up, his blade ignited now too, and eliminated the two droids.

They fought alongside each other. Everything was as it used to be. Anakin knew when Obi-Wan was going to retreat, Obi-Wan knew when Anakin was going to attack, and vice versa. Obi-Wan had become a bit slow, though, but Anakin adjusted to his rhythm. Everything felt so familiar that Anakin could hardly believe things had ever been different.

Things went well; soon Obi-Wan finished off the last probe droid. Anakin breathed a sigh of relief when Obi-Wan suddenly shouted, "Anakin! Behind you!" Anakin whirled around and saw one probe droid remove itself very quickly. A feeling of terror settled in his chest. This little droid could ruin everything. "I'll take care of it! Run!" With that, Anakin chased the droid. He dodged laser beams or deflected them but the droid had a clear lead. And with each step, Anakin was getting closer and closer to the Emperor. Much too close for his liking. He cursed under his breath and followed the droid. Hopefully at least Obi-Wan would make it to safety in the meantime. Suddenly Anakin noticed the blaster, which Obi-Wan had had with him, dangling at his belt. That could be his rescue! He aimed very carefully, pulled the trigger, and the droid burst into many pieces with a loud _bang_. Anyone who had not heard that, had to be deaf… Panicking, Anakin made a dash for it, raced down empty corridors (high-pitched alarm resonating from the durasteel walls) and jumped into the chute. He hurried to the exit where he ran into someone. "_Ouch!_" Obi-Wan cursed softly.

Anakin skidded to a halt. "S-sorry", he panted. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you, clumsy oaf."

Anakin refrained both from telling Obi-Wan that he was _not_ a clumsy oaf and asking him why, _for Force's sake_, he would be waiting for Anakin. Instead he knelt down next to Obi-Wan in order to overview the hangar deck. At the "official" exit on the right were _many_ guards. Heavily armed.

"Will there be an alarm if we take one of the ships?" Obi-Wan whispered.

"Of course", Anakin answered.

"Is it possible to turn it off somehow?"

"Dunno. I'm not able to do it, though."

"Hm. That's a pity."

"I suggest we take the V-Wing 3."

"I had been thinking about that white one over there."

"I was speaking of that one", Anakin replied, slightly desperate in face of Obi-Wan's unqualified knowledge in flying.

Obi-Wan gave him a little grin. "Hand me the blaster, please." Using the Force, Obi-Wan threw the blaster far away from the V-Wing 3. The guards turned around in confusion. Without thinking twice, Anakin and Obi-Wan got up and _ran_. Anakin flung himself behind the controls as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Just as naturally, Obi-Wan sat down in the co-pilot's seat. Anakin did a turbo-start. Immediately, an ear-piercing alarm raised, and their ship was rocked violently by the laser fusillades. Anakin hurled the steering stick to the left, thus dodging the next flack.

"Prepare jump to hyperspace!" he roared at Obi-Wan.

"What did you say?" Obi-Wan roared back. It was almost impossible to understand each other because of the noise.

"JUMP TO HYPERSPACE!"

"Honestly, what do you think I'm doing? Making a nice cup of tea?" Obi-Wan shouted, trying frenetically to reach the right buttons while he was skidding to and fro because of Anakin's evasion manoeuvres. "Watch out!" Entirely unnecessarily, he indicated a TIE-fighter which was attacking them.

"I see – WHOOOAAAA!" Behind that TIE-fighter appeared _another_ TIE-fighter and blocked their ship. Anakin did a long free fall and so their ship only got a tiny scratch. Obi-Wan, however, collided headfirst with the pane.

"You ok?" Anakin asked, geared up again and swooped below the TIE-fighters.

"I feel _great_!" Obi-Wan replied sourly, emphasising his words by thumping onto the control panels. "Ready for jump to hyperspace. Jump in five seconds. Three, two, one –"

_Done_.

Obi-Wan slumped into his seat. "Oh, how I've missed that…"

Grinning, Anakin activated a control check if any system had been damaged.

They had made it. They had got out of the imperial battle station alive._ So now what? _

_

* * *

_

**That's it:**

**1. my longest chapter ever**

**2. my first chapter with action (ok, most of the times it was like "they ran" and "they dogded laser fire"...lol, I'm not very creative concerning action sequences)**

**I hope this chapter didn't dissappoint your expectations. I tried to make it not too similar to ROTJ. And...well, things are not over yet. What will the Emperor do? Is redemption possible for Anakin? What will happen to the rest of the Jedi and to Luke? Hmmm... Read on (and review!) to find out! **


	35. A New Start?

**Thanks for reviewing:**

Xenia Marvolo: **You thought I should have written it more emotional? Hmm... you know, my first version of this chapter was more emotional but then I thought it sounded too exaggerated and so I tried to make it more subtle. I wanted to emphasise that Anakin is really acting on instinct without thinking so much what he's doing. I re-read and revised that chapter so often and changed little things again and again... maybe I revised a bit too much and left things out that to me - as the writer - were obvious because I "know" what the characters are feeling, but to the readers are not that apparent. I'll try to keep that in mind when I write the next emotional sequence... anyway, thanks for reviewing ;-)**

Jedi Knight 13: **I'm glad you thought the action was ok :) We'll see Sidious again at the end of the story... **

Sentrosi: **Ah, two little words that make me happy ;-) Thank you!!!**

Geri K: **If I had a very big smiling icon I would use it now :) Thank you!!!**

Anaya: **I must admit Luvia surprised me too ;-) I never thought I'd bring her back into the picture but she was really useful as I didn't want Obi-Wan to just voluntarily go to Vader as Luke did in ROTJ. In a way, Obi-Wan had to pay for the mistakes he made earlier concerning Luvia. Maybe, if he hadn't been so hard with her earlier, she would not have gone back to the dark side... though, she's not really dark side, she betrayed him mostly for the reason that she hoped for a nice reward from the Empire and she has gone slightly insane during the long years on her own. Anyway, that was her last appearance in this story. I don't want to bother my readers with too many OCs as I myself don't like reading fanfics with too many OCs in it ;-)**

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Obi-Wan rubbed the back of his head. A big lump had already started to form. He was really getting too old for this kind of action. On the other hand… flying with Anakin had _always_ been like that. He rubbed his head again and then went to check their current position. He had not paid much attention where they were going when he had prepared the ship for the jump to hyperspace. Everything was fine as long as it was far away from the Emperor.

Everything felt so familiar. The roles were clearly distributed among them. It was a result of years of working together on missions. Perfectly coordinated, a perfectly established team. How often had they already fled with risky manoeuvres through the lines of hostile ships! It were the little things. Obi-Wan had only realised how much they meant to him when he had lost them. Lost them forever? Thoughtfully, he glanced at Anakin, who steered the ship with routine confidence. He was not sure about his feelings towards Anakin. Of course, Anakin had saved him from the Emperor, he had even turned against the Emperor and he had helped Obi-Wan escape. It was so much more than Obi-Wan had ever hoped for when he had gone to speak to Luvia. When they had fought alongside each other, when they had fled together, everything had seemed the way it once was. But now that calm had been restored and there was time to think, he wondered how things were supposed to go on. Anakin noticed Obi-Wan watching him and for a tiny moment their eyes met. Obi-Wan recognised in Anakin's eyes – in dull yellow eyes – the same uncertainty that unwrapped himself. Quickly, he averted his gaze. How was it possible you could be so familiar yet so remote to each other at the same time?

"Where d'you want to go?" Anakin suddenly disrupted the silence.

It was as if he was speaking to Obi-Wan from the other side of a deep rift that was quickly opening up between them. Obi-Wan sent Master Yoda a holo message and asked him to send him the coordinates of the new Jedi base. He did not mention Anakin at all. The rest of the Jedi-Order certainly would not welcome Anakin with open arms. Provided that Anakin wanted to join the Jedi again. Obi-Wan was certain Anakin was not on the Emperor's side any longer but… _Is his allegiance to the Jedi or just to me? Or to Luke? What will happen if I bring him there? Will they throw stones at him again? Will we avoid each other for the rest of our lives? Will Yoda force me to kill him? Will he claim Luke to be his and leave with his son? Why can't he just say something…anything?! When he was a little boy he could not keep his mouth shut for a minute and now…_

Fortunately the planet where the Jedi had settled down was not very far. Obi-Wan could not have endured this any longer. The awkward silence, only interrupted by some instructions concerning the navigation, each simple word thought over many times before uttered, their uncertain voices resonating eerily in the cockpit, mocking them. When Anakin landed the ship smoothly on the planet called Uresi, Obi-Wan wanted to do nothing more than jump out of his seat and run away. Anakin did not make a move to get out of the ship and so Obi-Wan remained seated too.

"Anakin…" He had to ask him now. He needed to know. "On which side are you?"

Anakin stared out of the cockpit window straight ahead. "I won't go back to Sidious and tell him about this place if that's what you mean."

_No, I did not mean that_. "Are you going to stay?" Obi-Wan ventured forward.

"Where?"

_Where?! Stop asking such stupid questions!_ Obi-Wan kept his voice calm, although inside he was screaming in desperation. "Here. With the Jedi. On Uresi."

Anakin kept staring at a distant spot in Uresi's rocky mountains range where a pale sun started to rise. "I don't think that's possible."

"I could speak to Master Yoda", Obi-Wan suggested helplessly.

Finally, Anakin turned to look at him. "No, Obi-Wan, I think it's better if I go somewhere else."

"I understand. So…" Obi-Wan had a feeling he was never going to see Anakin again if he let him go now. "The Jedi-Order could use your help."

Anakin sighed softly. "I guess I owe them something."

"I didn't mean it like that. It's your decision of course. Anyway, you don't owe me anything. You saved my life today. But… as I said, the Jedi-Order could use your help. And, well, I…" Obi-Wan could not say what was on his mind. But Anakin had seen into his mind. Hadn't he seen what Obi-Wan felt?

"I really would like to stay but –"

"Then stay. Please."

Anakin cast his eyes down on his mechanical hands which were tightly grasping the controls. "How…?"

"I think it would be best if we went to see Master Yoda first. Or… maybe it would be better if I go to him alone and speak to him and you wait here…?"

"Yes…yes." Anakin nodded, he seemed to be relieved.

"Alright… See you later." Obi-Wan got out of the spaceship and made his way for Yoda. He kept turning around nervously every few paces, checking if the ship was still there. _Don't you dare to leave now!_

"Master Kenobi, expect you to come back so soon I did not", Yoda greeted him kindly.

"I suppose you thought I would not come back at all from my _suicidal mission_", Obi-Wan said smiling.

"Hmm…" Bent on his gimer stick, Yoda paced the small room until he looked up at Obi-Wan and blinked sheepishly. "Worried about that I did. More faith in you I should have."

"Well, I have to admit it almost went wrong."

"Successful you were, I conclude?"

Obi-Wan thought the statement over. Had he been successful? He rather wanted to leave that decision to Master Yoda. So he just started to explain, "I brought Anakin with me."

Yoda frowned disgruntled. "Obi-Wan, many, many times I told you Anakin Skywalker is dead. Darth Vader –"

"No", Obi-Wan interrupted him firmly, "Anakin Skywalker is not dead. I told you I brought him here." Suddenly Obi-Wan realised he was acting rather impudent towards Master Yoda. He was just about to apologise when Master Yoda gestured for him to continue. He cleared his throat a tad awkward and proceeded. "Anakin turned against the Emperor in order to save my life. He helped me flee. He is not on the dark side anymore and I ask you to accept him in the Jedi-Order again."

"Broken the vow he swore to the Order, Vader has. Into deep darkness, he sent the Jedi. Very much you demand."

"I don't demand. I'm just _asking_ you to give him a chance."

"Your trust in him a bit careless is, isn't it? Affected by affection your decision is, I sense. Hide well his true intentions, a Sith-Lord can."

Slightly awkward with Yoda's words, Obi-Wan remained silent. How could he explain it to Master Yoda? How could he explain what he had felt when Anakin had been in his mind? When Anakin had been so careful and had waited so patiently for Obi-Wan to open up. Anakin had had absolute power over Obi-Wan, yet he had not abused that power. How could Yoda possibly understand that? So Obi-Wan recited the arguments he had organised on his way here. "I know it's a risk. I cannot guarantee the dark side will stay subdued within him forever. But it's a chance for us nonetheless. If we accept him again, we can win him over. You know about his potential. He would be of great help to the remaining Jedi. And not just because of his abilities in the Force – he can also provide us with insider information about the dark side. Plus, he's still supposed to be the Chosen One. Maybe he's still going to fulfil the prophecy. If we don't accept him, however, Darth Sidious might seize the opportunity and get him on to his side again, and we would have one more powerful enemy against us again." Expectantly, Obi-Wan glanced at Yoda. What he had said was just logic, free from any emotions or attachments. It should convince Yoda…

"Hmm… Hmm…" Yoda kept pacing up and down, his stick thudding at the stone floor, his tiny face scrunched up in deep thought.

It had been free from emotions, hadn't it? Alright, Obi-Wan had ignored the option of executing Anakin but that was certainly out of question now, wasn't it?

"Hmm…" _Thud, thud, thud. _Finally, Yoda looked up at him. "Speak to him I wish."

"Ok, I'll bring him here. We'll be there in a minute." Obi-Wan bowed and hurried back to the spaceship. That was at least a start.


	36. Council Meeting

**Thanks for reviewing:**

amthyst-fire: **I'm glad you're enjoying this. Thank you very much!**

Jedi Knight 13: **Yes, he has still yellow eyes. I thought it would be so strange if his eyes would just change from yellow to blue as if you switched something on or off. He has spent four years on the dark side and that has affected him - physically and mentally. **

Xenia Marvolo: **I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I know nothing really happened but for some unknown reason to me it is one of my favourites chapter ;-)**

Geri K: **It definitely would tear Obi-Wan apart. That would be really, really cruel... Let's hope Anakin thinks - for once in his life.**

Phoenix Red Lion: **You're right, Anakin is not free of the dark side yet just because he turned againt the Emperor. I think leaving the path of the dark side is not that easy. I see it as something like alcohol or drug addiction: It has affected your life and you have to fight if you don't want to let it destroy you. About Qui-Gon: Every time the situation becomes hopeless, I can bring him back into the picture ;-) And _of course_ he cares very much for Obi-Wan, he just doesn't know how badly Obi-Wan needs his appraisal and love. **

Anaya: **Yes, I thought it was sad, too, that Obi-Wan had completely given up hope on Anakin in the movies. Was it in ROTJ that he said Vader was some devilish machine? That was really hard but then again... he had been _killed _by Vader then, so I understand his doubts ;-)**

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Anakin nervously palpated the controls of the V-Wing 3. He had briefly toyed with the idea of just flying away. _You're a pathetic coward, Anakin Skywalker_, he told himself. He was afraid of meeting a stupid, little, green troll. It was really ridiculous! For the hundredth time, he checked if the starfighter had been damaged during the flight. It helped him calm down. Mechanics – it was something he was good at, something which made him feel safe. It was something easy: either you did it right or you did it wrong, and there were rules that determined how things worked, rules you could rely on because it was obvious why they existed – because they were always right. Anakin gazed out of the cockpit window. He saw Obi-Wan coming back towards the ship. He wished Obi-Wan had not come back and had just left him here. Right now, Anakin would have preferred to be on his own just a little longer. The rational part of him told him he could not put it off forever. But the rational part in him had never really ruled him. _Oh Force, what is he going to say?_ Anakin's mind played through all possible scenarios and worked out his answers for each of them.

"Yoda wants to speak to you", Obi-Wan said in what he thought was a calm voice.

"Alright." Nervously, Anakin followed Obi-Wan. He tried to distract himself by contemplating the planet he found himself on: Uresi. The ground was covered with sand and stones and dry grass. In the distance the outline of dissected mountains blurred with the haze of many clouds. A milky-white sun shone through the morning mist. It was not a very beautiful planet – but there were certainly worse. Anakin liked the many lakes but he did not like its silence. It was a deserted place, no humming machines, no stormtroopers marching – just him. He felt as if his soul had been laid bare to this planet, as if it waited to judge him, a silent accusation he could not fight against.

They approached a little array of square houses the same light brown colour as the stones and the sand. It was apparent no one had lived here for a very long time. There was still no sound but their steps and their breathing. The dark windows stared at Anakin like empty, hollow eyes. They made him feel guilty even though he could not remember ever attacking a planet called Uresi. But maybe he had not come here in person but had just sent an army of stormtroopers here. Whatever, he could not remember anything. Obi-Wan led him to the smallest of the houses. Suddenly Anakin heard a shout and then laughter. He stopped dead.

"What was it?" he asked Obi-Wan nervously.

Obi-Wan frowned and turned to look at him. "What was what?"

"The voices!" Anakin was getting more and more frightened. Had Obi-Wan not heard the voices?!

"Some of the Jedi students, I guess." Obi-Wan eyed him curiously.

Anakin briefly shut his eyes and tried to calm himself down. When had he started to be so fidgety? He was making a fool of himself. And yet the feeling to hide behind Obi-Wan's back was overwhelming when he entered the house. It was gloomy inside, no one had bothered turning on the lights. Or maybe this place had been deserted for so long that the lights did not function anymore.

Following Obi-Wan up a staircase, Anakin felt like a nine-year-old boy again. He heart was drumming a frantic beat. Should he bow to Yoda? Should he show respect to him? Or would that look artificial and like mockery?

Yoda was sitting on top a dusty wooden table and eyed him with obvious mistrust. Obi-Wan bowed and Anakin hesitantly stood next to him. He decided to do some sort of compromise and slightly inclined his head towards Yoda. This room was a bit brighter than downstairs. There were two little windows through which the first sunrays fell, illuminating the poor-looking interior. Anakin could not say whether it was the sunrays or Master Yoda's Force-presence that made him feel a little bit more comfortable.

"Welcome, Lord Vader", Yoda greeted him.

Anakin was just about to greet him back when Obi-Wan got in before him.

"His name is Anakin Skywalker."

Surprised, Anakin looked from Yoda to Obi-Wan. It almost sounded as if Obi-Wan was rebuking Master Yoda. But that was…unthinkable. Anakin was probably reading too much into this. Curious, he waited for Yoda's answer to that.

"Darth Vader the name is he has chosen as a Sith."

"Yes, but since when do we abide by the rules of the Sith?" Obi-Wan countered.

"His choice it was to become a Sith and to live under that name."

"That's hardly anything we should encourage him to do. As you said, he chose the name as a Sith and we're supposed to be against the Sith, aren't we? So we should remind him that he's Anakin Skywalker."

"The crimes Darth Vader committed we must not forget either."

"Excuse me", Anakin intervened. "You can call me as you wish: Darth Vader or Anakin Skywalker – it doesn't matter to me. It doesn't change anything, does it? I mean, I'm still the same person, no matter what you call me." Of course it _did_ matter to him what they called him – he did not like the name "Darth Vader" very much and he was truly grateful Obi-Wan fought for calling him by his true name – but it was just a name after all and it was rather exaggerated to argue like that about a name. Really, what was going to happen when they spoke about more important things?

"Accept his decision we should", Yoda told Obi-Wan. "Sit down." He indicated two chairs to Anakin and Obi-Wan. "Well. Master Kenobi told me, turned away from the path of the Sith you have. Proof you have?"

"I'm afraid no, Master", Anakin answered honestly.

"Hmm… So just your word it is. Hardly enough this is…"

"You have my word too", Obi-Wan argued. "Anakin saved my life and risked his own life in doing so."

"Not a proof that is."

"Do you mean by that that I'm lying?"

What had happened to Obi-Wan? Anakin had never seen him so feisty. At least not towards Master Yoda…

The tiny Master pursed his lips in disapproval. "Listen to me more closely you should, young Obi-Wan", he reprimanded him. "That he has saved your life, not a proof of his attitude it is. All I said, that is - no more, no les."

Obi-Wan looked like he was about to protest but Anakin quickly spoke up before the two Jedi would start ripping of each other's head. "So what does it mean?" he asked Master Yoda. "Am I allowed to stay?"

"Stay you may under certain conditions. Provide us with all necessary information about the dark side and the Emperor you will." Anakin nodded. That condition was easy enough. "No steps you will take without consulting Master Kenobi or me." That seemed ok too. Anakin had not really expected something else. "Near the children you will get not."

"What about my own son? About Luke?" Anakin asked anxiously. "Am I allowed to see him?"

"No."

"Master, I cannot agree to that", Obi-Wan spoke up again. "We don't have the right to decide upon children that are not ours. Anakin is Luke's father. I understand if you don't allow him to see the other children. When the parents entrusted their children to our care, we promised them we would protect the children. But Anakin never put Luke in our care. He has the right to see his own son."

"Allow this, I cannot", Yoda said firmly.

"If I'm not allowed to see Luke, then there's no reason for me to stay", Anakin declared.

"Well, then decided it is", Yoda said indignantly.

"Master Yoda, strictly speaking, I'm on the Council too", Obi-Wan continued. "I'm a Master too and you cannot just go over my head. I say Anakin should stay and he should be allowed to see his son."

"Sound like your old Master Qui-Gon, you do", Yoda said huffily.

"Just because I'm of another opinion than you for one time…"

"Just for _one_ time of another opinion you are not. The whole day contradicting me you are."

"I agree with Obi-Wan", Qui-Gon's voice could suddenly be heard. "Two to one. It's decided then."

"Never on the Council you were", Yoda objected. "Thus your vote does not count."

"But you could at least listen to my advice", Qui-Gon suggested politely.

"A very good idea I have of what you want to say."

Disbelievingly, Anakin followed the argument. He started to feel that the wind was being taken out of his sails. This could not really be happening to him. This was not the Jedi Council but a group of quarrelsome infants. Normally, the Jedi Council discussed objectively until they reached an unanimous agreement. If they failed to come to such a conclusion, Yoda's vote was decisive. Not because the others were inferior to him but because they respected his wisdom. Normally the voices of long gone Jedi-Knights did not interfere. Normally Obi-Wan did not defy Yoda's decisions. Normally the Jedi Council was an impressive meeting of wise Jedi-Masters but this here was… ridiculous.

"Excuse me", Anakin indicated that he wished to speak but no one paid any attention to him at all. "Excuse me", he said again, failing to be heard over the babble of voices. "_Hey!_" _Finally_, the others shut up and looked expectantly at him. Well, Obi-Wan and Yoda did and Qui-Gon thankfully kept silent. "I may not be a Jedi-Master but I was on the Council too and, officially, I was never kicked out, was I? Consequentially, my vote counts too." Scandalised, Yoda opened his mouth and Anakin quickly continued. "And I agree with Yoda's opinion. I'm doing it because I trust you to have more insight into this matter than I have, Master Yoda. If you do not want to give my son to me, then take at least good care of him. Thanks for listening to me, Master Yoda. Goodbye and may the Force be with you." With that, Anakin got up, bowed curtly and then left the room in a hurried pace.

He had just got outside the house, when Obi-Wan caught up with him. "Why did you do it?" he asked in an almost accusing tone.

"It was wrong from me to come back. I don't belong here anymore. And honestly, that's not the Jedi Council anymore. It's more like…the crèche."

"Of course this is not the Jedi Council anymore, what were you thinking?!" Obi-Wan burst out. "How could it still be the Jedi Council? You killed all of them, all the great Masters! The Knights, the Padawans, the _younglings_! Care to explain to me how this is supposed to be still a well-functioning Jedi Council?! It's Yoda alone who has to keep this _utterly pathetic_ Jedi-Order together! I was not of great help to him as I was on Tatooine and the other two Knights who survived are badly needed on all ends of the galaxy! So it's Yoda who has to train 30 children alone! Have you any idea how hard it is to train just _one_ Padawan? But _30_ children, 30 _traumatised _children, who lost their Masters, their friends and their home to the flames! The whole burden is on Yoda's shoulders!"

Anakin had seen Obi-Wan loose control like this only once before. That had been when Qui-Gon had died. Now there were tears in Obi-Wan's eyes too. It frightened Anakin. He backed away but Obi-Wan was not finished yet.

"How can you believe there could still be a nice, relaxed Council meeting or pompous ceremonies? When the Jedi have to hide, have to hole up like coward rats because they are being persecuted! There's no impressive Council Chambers anymore with a view on glittering Coruscant! Just little muddy caves and dusty dark rooms! How dare you come here now and complain about that it's not the real Jedi-Council anymore but the _crèche_! Can't you see we try everything to make the Jedi-Order survive anyhow?!"

The words were like blows with a laser whip. Worst above all was that Obi-Wan was not really completely furious but sounded just desperate.

"And then Qui-Gon comes with his smart-aleck platitudes about – about _love_!"

This shocked Anakin more than anything else. He had never heard Obi-Wan say anything bad about Qui-Gon before. But these words were really heartfelt.

"How – how can he speak of love when you… when you… when you do _such things_!"

Anakin was shaking. He felt as if someone had ripped his heart out of his chest. Slowly, the implications of what he had done started to sink in. He had destroyed the Jedi-Temple and that was all Obi-Wan had ever loved and believed in. And so many others had felt the same way! This was Anakin's deed. Traumatised children. Overstrained Masters. A pathetic Order, who had to hide in caves. Council meetings where former great, dignified Masters insulted each other. And the worst about it was: Anakin was not able to undo it. And there was nothing he could do in order to make amends. The only thing he could do was to say _sorry_. He did not do it. That would be adding insult to injury. He saw the void in Obi-Wan's eyes and it gave him the creeps. He would do anything in order to make that void disappear but he knew he could not. Anakin realised: He had destroyed Obi-Wan. The man who had been a father, friend and brother to him. Who had given so much to him. And what had Anakin given him in return? Infinite pain…

_We'd better go now_

_I guess, if we try to do this together, there could be a little chance of getting out of here alive._

_Waiting for you, clumsy oaf._

_Oh, how I've missed that…_

_Then stay. Please._

_Please…don't leave me…alone now._

It was odd. Obi-Wan had wanted him to stay. If Obi-Wan really wanted that, then he should stay, shouldn't he? But what was the sense in it? What could he do? All he had managed so far was making Obi-Wan, Yoda and Qui-Gon argue. And then he had said something stupid without thinking first and now Obi-Wan was angry and sad and desperate.

Anakin could sense Obi-Wan's feelings again, the same which he had seen when he had been in Obi-Wan's mind. They were not as strong and intense this time but it was enough to make Anakin sick and dizzy. He felt as if he was under lightning attack, fierce waves crashing down on him non-stop.

And then Anakin simply passed out.


	37. Anakin's New Mission

**Thanks for reviewing:**

Xenia Marvolo: **Thank you very much for your lovely compliment! I'm glad you thought it wasn't unbelievable. When I wrote it I was torn between whether I should think it is funny or tragic. I enjoyed writing the Council meeting with Yoda and Qui-Gon. But then I realised how this must look to Obi-Wan and that it is not funny but tragic. So, Obi-Wan freaking out and Anakin passing out was the logical consequence. **

John-Myers: **Thank you very much for such a kind review!**

amthyst-fire: **Thanks again for your help. I've checked "the mickey" on dict. and it was classified as British slang - so you were right about it being BE. Nevertheless, I've changed the "mickey" now ;-) I've learned French too for about seven years and I must say it's MUCH more complicated than English. I could never write something like this in French. **

Sentrosi: **"she has gone slightly insane during the long years on her own. Just like Yoda!" YES! giggles I think Yoda is absolutely amazing in ESB. To me, the highlight of the movie is when he beats up R2 ;-)**

Jedi Knight 13: **Thank you!!! It was a nice change to have Anakin as the emotionally detached one, it kind of showed things from a new viewpoint. "Information overload" is a very fitting description for Anakin's state of mind ;-)**

Anaya: **Ah, Yoda... he's not so subtle... definitely not. But of course he doesn't know yet if Anakin has really turned back to the light. Though... calling him "Lord Vader" certainly doesn't help the process. But sometimes even Master Yoda can be wrong. **

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When Anakin opened his eyes, he did not know where he was. He was in a bed not his own in a room not his own. He was alone.

"Good morning, Ani. Did you sleep well?" an unpleasantly loud voice suddenly boomed in his head, which felt like it was going to explode any moment.

Ok, obviously he was not _completely_ alone. "Qui-Gon, what am I doing here?"

"You're lying in bed."

"Ha ha, you're so funny. How did I get here? Where am I?"

"First question: Obi-Wan brought you here. Second question: You're on a planet called Uresi where the Jedi currently live."

"Ok." Anakin's brain still worked a bit slowly and it needed time to digest the information. "What happened before?"

"You simply collapsed."

"I collapsed?" Anakin frowned and tried desperately to remember. Ah yes, he had had a very bad headache. "Why did I collapse?"

"I guess yesterday demanded just too much from you."

Yesterday… Very slowly, the memories faded in bit by bit. Yes, that crazy day that had started with Luvia giving the Empire an unexpected call that Knight Kenobi was with her. _Oh Force, what a hell of a day!_ He groaned and sat up in bed. His head protested with a throbbing pain. He blinked a few times in order to get the spinning away and become clear again. "How's Obi-Wan?" was his first coherent thought.

"What should be wrong with him?" Qui-Gon asked slightly alarmed.

"Did someone take care of him?"

"Ah, you mean _that_. Yes, I tried to comfort him a little bit", Qui-Gon reassured him. "Don't worry, things will be fine. He's recently tended to freak out at times but he will get over it."

"Don't ridicule him", Anakin said threateningly, "that's _not_ funny. If you say something like that about him again –"

"Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!" Qui-Gon interrupted him. "I'm sorry, Anakin, of course you are right, it is not funny at all, I absolutely agree with you. But I'm afraid I can't quite follow you. For four years you've completely freaked out when I just hinted at the remote possibility that Obi-Wan might not be completely evil through and through from the bottom of his heart. Now, however, you go overboard because you read into my words that I'm not taking Obi-Wan seriously. One day you describe some torture scenarios in detail to me, the next day you threaten me because I say _one_ bad word about Obi-Wan. That's quite some… 180 degree turn, don't you think?"

Anakin just harrumphed. He hated to admit it but Qui-Gon was right of course.

"One day a Sith, next day a Jedi. That's like coming from the deepest dark into the brightest light. Literally speaking, your eyes need to adjust to the light. You were a bit rash. Everything you did yesterday – it takes its toll on you. I mean, you fought a lightsabre duel against none other than the Emperor, you meddled in Obi-Wan's mind again, did such suicidal flying manoeuvres, took part in a so-called Council meeting and then you had to listen to Obi-Wan's outburst. It's no wonder that you collapse after such a day. I can imagine you got some suicidal ideas after Obi-Wan's _speech_ –"

"I told you not to make fun of it", Anakin snarled.

"I don't mean to make fun of it, I'm just trying to dedramatise things", Qui-Gon explained unperturbedly.

"There's nothing to _dedramatise_", Anakin retorted angrily. "I've just started to get a rough idea of what I've done –"

"Anakin, please just take everything a bit more slowly", Qui-Gon stopped him gently. "That will be better for you, trust me."

"And for those I murdered?! Am I supposed to grief one day for everyone, or what? That would take me a lot of time until I've finished mourning!"

"What's past is past. You cannot make them alive again."

"Seeing things like that makes life pretty simple, doesn't it?"

"What I mean to say by that is that your care should be for the living, not for the dead. Maybe that's how you can make good a little bit of what happened. The living need your help."

"Why would they want _my_ help?"

"Just listen a bit more closely."

Anakin sighed deeply. Qui-Gon made it seem so simple but it most certainly was not as simple as that. How could Qui-Gon, whose biggest crime was probably being impudent towards the Jedi Council, understand this? Suddenly, Anakin's stomach started rumbling. Anakin felt really bad for it. How could he think of such a trivial thing as food in such a situation? His gaze rested on a carafe and a glass on the little table next to his bed. The table had been cleaned, and was not as dusty as the rest of the room. It made him even feel worse. "Is that for me?" he uncertainly asked Qui-Gon.

"No, that's for me of course."

"Qui-Gon, I don't feel like joking right now", Anakin said tensely. Stiffly, he poured himself a glass of the light green juice and emptied it in one gulp. Then he poured himself another glass. While drinking it, his pangs of remorse increased. Qui-Gon was probably the only person who forgave him so readily. He should be grateful Qui-Gon tried to ease him with a bit of light conversation. But what did Anakin do? Snapping at him, threatening him, reproaching him… "Sorry", he mumbled quietly. "I'm such an ungrateful idiot."

Qui-Gon chuckled softly. "Yes, you are. But at least you realise it. I take that as a good sign." He remained silent for a few moments while Anakin emptied a third glass of the strange juice. "You know, I always encouraged Obi-Wan to act out his feelings", Qui-Gon said thoughtfully. "You know he tends to keep things bottled up. Maybe letting it all out yesterday did him good. I tried to intervene in your dispute… well, it was Obi-Wan who did all the yelling, so it was not really a dispute… anyway, I tried to stop him because I knew he was going to regret what he said a few minutes later but none of you listened to me."

"You told me he had such…outbursts more often."

"Yes, but yesterday was the worst yet. I have to admit I was a bit shocked by his last words."

"I can understand him."

"I can understand him too."

"So my presence made everything worse", Anakin said gloomily.

"I wouldn't say that. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was angry and hurt, and so he took it out on you."

Anakin laughed bitterly. "I'm not exactly innocent for everything that happened to him, am I?"

"And he was just as strained as you by yesterday's events", Qui-Gon continued, ignoring Anakin's interjection.

"Qui-Gon, I really don't know what to do", Anakin admitted. "What do you think: Should I stay here with the Jedi or should I rather leave them in peace?"

"Search your feelings, Anakin."

"No", Anakin whispered. "That's the point. I cannot listen to my feelings."

"Why not?" Qui-Gon asked concerned.

"It would be wrong now to listen to my feelings. There's so much at stake and I… I want to do the right thing. That's why I'm asking you."

"Ani." Qui-Gon's voice had suddenly become very gentle, very affectionate, like a father speaking to his child. "Search your feelings. They will tell you the right thing, I know they will."

Anakin sadly shook his head. "I would like to have another reason than just my feelings."

"Alright, I'll tell you one – no, there are more than one. Obi-Wan asked you to stay, didn't he?"

"Well, yes, but… did he really mean it?"

"Oh, he said it. And if he didn't mean it, it's his problem that he has to endure the consequences now."

"No!" Anakin protested fiercely. "I – I don't want that. I don't want to hurt him any more than I've already done! I can't force them to keep me here! I've –". He was getting slightly hysterical and spluttered some of his juice.

"Calm down, calm down", Qui-Gon said quickly as he had the chance to speak now because Anakin was coughing. "I didn't mean it, ok? Obi-Wan meant what he said, I know he did, trust me. And don't forget that Luke needs you too. He surely wants to get to know his father. Even Yoda seemed not completely against you staying here."

"You heard him: he forbids me to see Luke", Anakin said bitterly. "I couldn't bear to live here with the knowledge that my own son lives next door and I'm not even allowed to go near him."

"Maybe you will succeed one day in regaining Yoda's trust. Yoda is not hard-hearted, he just wants to protect Luke. I'm sure he's soon going to allow you to speak to Luke. And by the way, Luke really lives next door. I mean, he lives in this house."

"Does he?"

"Yes. Right now, he's having lunch but he sleeps in the room next to yours."

"Why are you telling me this?" Anakin asked suspiciously. "Do you want me to disregard Master Yoda's instructions and go to Luke?"

"I never said that."

"But you meant it. I hardly think I'm going to regain Master Yoda's trust like that."

"Yes. Yes, you're right… Hm… Obi-Wan's apprentice through and through, aren't you?"

That comment took Anakin by surprise. It was a really odd thing to say. It was either a very rude insult to Obi-Wan or a great compliment to Anakin. As Anakin had to assume Qui-Gon meant the latter, he was even more confused because no one had ever defined him as Obi-Wan's apprentice in that way. No, the Jedi-Masters rather had desperately wondered how such a respectable Jedi-Master like Obi-Wan Kenobi could come out with such a hopeless case as Anakin Skywalker. Guiltily he swallowed down the old bitterness that threatened to surface again. He was hardly in a position now to hold such an old grudge. "Well… that's just logic, isn't it? There's not really much… You must see the logic in it, Qui-Gon."

"Exactly. I'm glad you're able to listen to logic instead of only blindly following what your heart wants you to do. It's good that Obi-Wan was your Master and not me. I guess with the two of us things would have kind of… misfired."

"I don't know how you want to describe what happened with Obi-Wan and me but _kind of misfired_ seems like quite an understatement to me."

"Oh." Qui-Gon was silent for a moment and it almost seemed as if he was ashamed of himself. "Do you think things would have been different if I had trained you?" he asked cautiously.

"Why are you asking me this?" Anakin said desperately. "The what-ifs do not matter. It – it was the will of the Force that I became his apprentice."

"You tell him that", Qui-Gon said encouragingly.

"Why?"

"Because many times he asked me the question I just asked you."

"Oh no…" Anakin put his face to his knees, his hands gripping his hair. "He doesn't reproach himself for not being a good Master, does he?"

"What would you do?" Qui-Gon said sadly. "Living with the knowledge that you've trained the one who destroyed the Jedi Order must be pretty hard."

"Damn it", Anakin muttered, thumping his fist against his own head. "You should have left me on Tatooine, Qui-Gon."

"Now, what did you just say about the what-ifs and the will of the Force? Ani, you're still the Chosen One and I know that you will fulfil your destiny."

That did not comfort Anakin at all. He did not believe in it and he knew Qui-Gon was the only person ever who was crazy enough to still believe in him. "They were always right", Anakin said miserably.

"Who?"

"Everyone. Everyone but you. They were right when they said I was dangerous and mustn't become a Jedi."

"Will you please stop that?" Qui-Gon said grumpily. "It's bad enough to listen to Yoda's reproaches all the time and now even you say it. Let's make a deal: I helped you and now it's your turn to help me: You mustn't give up because I can't bear Yoda gloating – yeah, the stupid little green troll is actually _gloating_ because he enjoys that I was seemingly wrong. You must prove me right, ok? Only joking, only joking", Qui-Gon added quickly before Anakin could protest.

Tiredly, Anakin rubbed his temples. "You're crazy. I really can't understand how Obi-Wan managed to keep sane after spending so many years with you."

"Unbelievable, isn't it? And it's even more admirable he's still halfway sane after training _you_. And now excuse me, I must go. I can't talk to you forever. You see, it's exhausting to get my voice back and speak to the living. I've recently done that too often. This means it may take some time until you're going to hear from me again."

"Oh." Anakin felt genuine regret even though Qui-Gon's voice had molested him so many times. "It was…nice to talk to you."

Qui-Gon laughed his characteristic deep Qui-Gon-laugh. "You have a strange way of showing that. But I appreciate your compliment, though I'm not sure if I can return it. On the other hand… talking to Yoda or Obi-Wan was sometimes almost as exhausting as talking to you. May I ask you one more question?"

"Sure."

"Just out of curiosity… I was wondering, was Obi-Wan a strict Master?"

"Um… no, not really. That is… yes, sometimes he was extremely fussy and he used to lecture me _endlessly_ if I made the slightest mistake. But every time I was dead certain I was _really_ in trouble and he was going to be mad at me forever, he was suddenly really nice and made a little joke and things were fine again. Don't get me wrong, I think he was always quite nice but –"

"That's alright, I never thought he was evil or anything. Well then, see you later, Anakin."

"Um…yes. Bye."

"Take care."

"I will."

"And try to stay out of trouble."

"I try."

"May the Force be with you."

"And with you."

Suddenly it was eerily silent in the room. Anakin took a look around. There was a wooden table and two chairs, which did not look very robust anymore. The dirty yellow tapestry was peeling from the stone walls. Above his head hung three very dusty glow orbs and he was certain they did not function. Slowly, he crawled out of bed and staggered to the window. It took him some time to make the rusty opening mechanism move but then he was finally able to open the window and breathe in the fresh air. The sun was already high in the sky but it was still covered by a misty veil. He could see two children – Padawans – who were meditating outside. Suddenly he heard steps moving up the stairs. He quickly got back to bed. He did not really know why he did it because looking out of the window was certainly not forbidden. It was odd that he knew, by just hearing the steps, it was Obi-Wan.

"Ah, you're awake." Obi-Wan offered him a thin smile in greeting. "Are you hungry? We've just had lunch and there's still much left."

"Are you feeling better?" Anakin asked concerned.

"Wha-? Yes. I'm sorry I got… carried away. I should have restrained myself. I should have known it was all too much for you."

Avoiding Obi-Wan's eye, Anakin twisted the blanket around his fingers. He wanted to yell _Stop neglecting your own needs!_ but he did not yell but simply spoke quietly to his blanket, "Did it at least help?"

"What do you mean?"

"Letting off steam."

"Oh… I felt a bit better afterwards but, no, letting off steam is not something that helps me much."

_Why would they want **my** help? – Just listen a bit more closely. _"What does really help you?" Anakin asked directly.

"Meditation. Finding my inner peace."

Anakin sighed inwardly. He had not meant that. He did not know how to go on. He did not know what to say and where to look and what to do with his hands, so he awkwardly poured himself another glass of juice.

"It's cold here", Obi-Wan observed. "Shall I close the window?"

"No!" Anakin protested more fiercely than he had intended. In doing so, he spilled part of his light green juice on his blanket. _Oh no!_ He desperately tried to wipe it away but in his nervousness, his glass dropped from his trembling hands and shattered on the floor. "Fuck!" he cried and quickly got up in order to clean up the mess. He bent over and his head was spinning again and his sight got dizzy. "I didn't mean to - I'm sorry - I didn't - damn it!" He was close to tears now. "I'm sorry, I – I –", he stuttered helplessly, collecting the broken pieces without really paying attention to what he was doing.

"Calm down, Anakin, it's really not that bad", Obi-Wan reassured him. "I'll clean that up, get back to bed now." He gently steered Anakin towards the bed but Anakin did not accept that.

"Don't do this!" he said angrily. "I – I – DON'T DO THIS!"

"What's wrong?" Obi-Wan looked worriedly at him and Anakin was really close to tears now.

"Just leave me alone! Please, just – just go. I need to…think. Just leave me alone for a second. Please, I need to think."

"Alright then." A tad nervous, Obi-Wan left the room.

Anakin took a deep, shaky breath. He stepped to the window again, leant heavily against the ledge and struggled to retain his composure. He knew he must not freak out like this, he must learn to control himself but he could not. He could not! He did not want that, he did not want Obi-Wan to care for him like that. He did not want Obi-Wan to bring him food or close the window or clean up the mess Anakin had created. It was just…_not right_. Forcing himself to exhale slowly, he was able to release at least a bit of his boiling emotions. As if Obi-Wan had sensed that Anakin had somewhat calmed down (well, he probably _had_ sensed it in the Force, Anakin thought, smiling slightly), there was a soft knock at his door. Anakin inhaled deeply once again and steeled himself for the next encounter. "Come in", he said hoarsely. "Sorry for yelling", he said quickly before Obi-Wan had even passed the threshold. "And sorry for that mess." He gestured helplessly at the broken pieces on the floor. "I really needed to think and be alone for a moment and…"

"That's alright", Obi-Wan friendly reassured him.

"It had nothing to do with you. I was a bit overemotional because… I've just spoken to Qui-Gon and he said things…" Qui-Gon certainly would not mind if Anakin used him for his little white lie. After all, he did not want Obi-Wan to think that he was the cause of Anakin's outburst. Obi-Wan was trying to be nice and Anakin's behaviour would surely confuse him.

"I understand that very well", Obi-Wan said lightly. "Qui-Gon certainly has the gift of saying things that make you… overemotional."

"Yeah…" Feeling a bit uneasy, Anakin changed the topic. "So, this planet, how did you get the idea to move here? It seems pretty deserted. What happened to the people who used to live here?"

"It's a safe place. This planet is both economically and politically completely unimportant. It's sparsely populated. Most of the people live on the other side of the planet because the environment there is not as rough as here. A few years ago there was a great migration when most of the people left this side of the planet and went for the other side. So these houses were left behind and, well, Master Yoda has his most useful contacts and here we are."

"I see." Anakin was greatly relieved that he was not the source of all these empty houses. "I guess it's nice enough here. I mean, it's a good place for the Jedi, isn't it? The Force is very pure and…simple here, not disturbed by cities and civilisation and two many different species."

"Yes, you're right. So you like it here?"

"Um… I didn't say that. I just thought it's a good place for the younglings to learn about the Force."

"Yes –" Obi-Wan was stopped by Anakin's rumbling stomach.

"Oh. Sorry." Anakin smiled sheepishly at Obi-Wan.

"Well, as I said, there's still something left from lunch. Shall I bring you something or do you think you can go downstairs and eat there?"

"I can go downstairs, that's no problem", Anakin said quickly.

"Alright. And Yoda wants to speak to you again as soon as you feel better", Obi-Wan informed him.

"Ok. I'm going to see him right now."

"It's three houses to the left. You'll find it easily, it's the smallest house. But eat something first, ok? I don't want you to pass out again."

Anakin nodded gratefully. He was glad he was allowed to move without supervision and they did not forbid everything to him. Trying not to pass out again, Anakin staggered down the stairs. Hungrily he gobbled down some horribly tasting brown mush. Obi-Wan had probably cooked it but Anakin was too famished to be very particular now. As a Padawan, Anakin used to complain about Obi-Wan's miserable cooking skills but of course he was too lazy himself to cook and so they would eat very often in the Temple's cafeteria. Anakin had often advised his Master to take part in a who-is-the-worst-cook-in-the-galaxy contest, and, if his Master was in a bad mood, had got extra hours of mediation as a punishment because of that – though Obi-Wan would never admit meditation was a punishment… Anakin was torn between smiling and crying now. Life had been so easy then… When had it all gone so wrong? Interrupting himself from his train of thoughts, Anakin quickly washed the dishes he had used and then went on his way to speak to Yoda again.

He was actually glad Obi-Wan was not with him this time and Qui-Gon did not have the strength anymore to get his voice back into the living world. Maybe he could speak properly to Yoda now without the Jedi bickering with each other. And, alone with Yoda, there were not so many raw emotions. The little Jedi-Master was always calm in the Force, he was neither accusing nor hurt. It was going to make things easier, in Yoda's presence it was easier for Anakin to think clearly. Thinking about that, Anakin realised how much he actually respected the old Master. So, when he greeted Yoda this time, he bowed deeply and respectfully.

"Sit down, young Skywalker."

Anakin was greatly relieved Yoda did not address him as "Lord Vader" anymore. He decided it was a good sign. "Master, I've been rethinking my decision", he got straight to the point. "If the Jedi Order needs – and wants – my help, I will be glad to be of assistance. If that is not the case, I'm going to leave. I don't want to be a burden to anyone and I don't want to cause disputes between the Jedi. I don't want to beg for mercy."

Yoda scrutinised him for a very long time without saying anything. Nervously, Anakin fidgeted on his uncomfortable chair. "Accept your offer, I will", Yoda declared finally. "Help we need, indeed. No doubt there is, strong in the Force you are. A mission for you, I have. Destroy the Emperor, you must."

Anakin's heart dropped into his boots. He should have seen it coming but somehow he had hoped he did not have to do it. He knew he could not do it. Yesterday in his duel against Sidious, he had sensed how strong the Emperor was. Anakin's power was pathetic compared to Sidious'. But of course, Yoda had every right to ask that of him. He swallowed. "I will do my best", he promised.

"This mission a test is for you", Yoda explained. "Prove you will if a Jedi you can become again."

"I understand, Master." So, his chances of becoming a Jedi again were very low. "If I don't come back, I want Obi-Wan to take care of Luke."

"Accompany you on this mission, Master Kenobi will."

"He's going to come with me?" Anakin's spirits instantly rose. Suddenly, things did not look so grim anymore. Alone, he did not stand much of a chance against Sidious, but with Obi-Wan at his side, the chances of surviving were at least not exactly zero. "Um…Master Yoda", he said hesitantly, "did you force him to accompany me or did he volunteer to do it?"

Yoda's ears twitched. "Hit him very, very often with my stick I did before he agreed."

Anakin stared in shock at the seemingly harmless little Jedi. But then Yoda grinned. "Oh", Anakin said, embarrassed that he had fallen for that.

"Physical punishment not the way of the Jedi is", Yoda explained, still grinning.

"Yeah, I know… The Sith use it – physical punishment", Anakin admitted openly.

"Punished you he did, hmm?"

Anakin just nodded. "He was never nice to me", he said in an unusual hoarse voice. "After Palpatine revealed himself as Lord Sidious to me, he stopped being nice. He was never nice to me but… I stayed with him. Obi-Wan never used physical punishment on me… But I stayed with Sidious. Qui-Gon told me to leave him but I was not strong enough. I could not. I was not strong enough…"

"Alone, defeat him you cannot. Trust in the Force, you must."

"Yes." Anakin came back to the more pressing matters. "Um… I don't mean to be presumptuous but I noticed Obi-Wan's lightsabre skills are not in top form anymore."

"Since Mustafar, not touched any lightsabre he has."

Awkwardly, Anakin stared down at his hands, which he quickly folded in his lap. "He needs to train if he wants to survive."

"With a lightsabre, defeat a Sith-Lord you cannot. Find another way, you must."

"But that's impossible!" Anakin exclaimed. "Have you any idea how powerful he is?!"

"Yes. Fought against him and felt his powers, I did. Defeat him with my lightsabre, I could not. Impossible I thought, to defeat Darth Vader without a lightsabre. Young Obi-Wan proved me wrong. Trust in the Force, he did."

"I see." Naturally, Anakin did not understand it but he was not in a position to protest. "When are we to leave?"

"One week you have to prepare for your mission. Much meditation you need. Train his lightsabre skills Obi-Wan needs."

Anakin tried not to show his annoyance about Yoda contradicting himself again and again. "Master Yoda, you just said we should go without our lightsabres", Anakin reminded him carefully.

"I never said that. _Defeat_ Sidious with a lightsabre you cannot. Use your lightsabres, you may."

"I see." Anakin was happy as long as he was allowed to have his lightsabre with him and so he did not ask further questions. He got up to leave but Yoda called him back.

"Wait, young Skywalker. More to say, I have. Right Obi-Wan was. Forbid you to see your son, I cannot. Allowed you are to see Luke, but not the other children."

Anakin could not believe his luck. It was so much more than he had expected. "Thank you very much, Master Yoda!"

"Hmm. My reasons I have. Need you I do. Always in the minority, I am. Conspired, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have. Set everyone against me, Qui-Gon does." Yoda blinked sadly and his ears twitched again, and this time Anakin was a bit faster to grasp the joke.

"I'll try and survive so I can support you", he promised, grinning shyly at the old troll. Until now, he had never known that he not only respected Master Yoda very much but also _liked_ him very much.


	38. Eavesdropping

**Oh dear, oh dear, the chapters are getting longer and longer... I can't do anything against it ;-) **

**Thanks for reviewing: **

Xenia Marvolo: **Wow, I didn't realise the last chapter was so good... I'm so glad so liked it so much - and I hope you like this one too. Thank you!!!**

amthyst-fire: **I've mostly learned BE at school and so - if I have the choice between AE and BE - I tend to choose the BE version ;-) But George Lucas is American and he invented the lightsabers, so I'll make an exception for him and _try _to write "lightsabER" from now on. You're right, Anakin is almost 30 (about 27 in my timeline). The last hours/days turned his life upside down and he's VERY confused, so that's why he sometimes acts a bit immature. And, of course, he has been patronised by Palpatine for the last four years and didn't really have the chance to grow up.**

Sentrosi: **So you like Yoda's outburst in Episode 5 too, great ;-) I've just bought the book "Yoda - Dark Rendezvous" and I think it's pretty cool. The Yoda in this book acts much like the Yoda in Episode 5 - it's a lot of fun to read (and, as I read it in English, I'm learning new English Star Wars words, lol)**

Geri K: **Qui-Gon still regards Obi-Wan as his Padawan or as an inexperienced Knight. He has not realised that, over the years, Obi-Wan has become one of the greatest Jedi-Masters. I thought it was nice to have Anakin defend Obi-Wan :)**

Booklover Fanatic: **I've changed the f thing now. Now Anakin only says it once and afterwards I made him stutter a bit. I hope it sounds better/more fluent now. I thought about using "sithhell" because I've read it on FFN too and whoever invented that must be very creative. It's kind of an inventive curse ;-) But I thought it would be strange if Anakin, who has been a Sith one day ago, uses such a curse. Anyway, thanks a lot for reviewing and if there's ever anything else which bothers you - feel free to tell me. Constructive criticism is very helpful - so: thank you!**

Jedi Knight 13: **Thank you! Anakin wants to be good again. It's still a long way to go but he's doing his best. **

Anaya: **I'm so glad you liked "my" Yoda. When writing that sequence I realised - just like Anakin - how much I actually liked Yoda. I think normally he's a really cheerful, humurous little Master but the last years were not easy for him with all the children he had to train, the Order being destroyed, hiding from the Sith... While Anakin was unconscious, Qui-Gon and Yoda had a nice little chat (yeah, Qui-Gon always wants to help) and Qui-Gon convinced Yoda to be a bit nicer towards Anakin and then Yoda realised it's a good thing Anakin came back to them. So now he's happy again ;-) And he felt Anakin's unease and wanted him to relax a bit - that's why he made his little jokes. **

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Anakin could hardly wait to finally see Luke. His son. Padmé's son! With long strides he walked back – almost _ran_ back – to the house where Luke lived. Taking two stairs at a time, he raced up the stairs and into Luke's room.

A woman, terror-stricken by Anakin's sudden bursting in, dropped a bag. The contents, mostly toys, spilled over the floor.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't want to shock you", Anakin apologised and bent down in order to collect the things. There was a threadbare stuffed bantha, several cheap spaceship models, children's electrobinoculars and lots of scratched sand toys. "Are these Luke's?" he curiously asked the woman.

"Yes."

In his mind, Anakin already pictured himself and Luke playing on Tatooine. He knew all the games and good places on Tatooine. And he certainly was going to give Luke a really good starfighter for his birthday. "Here you are." He handed the woman the bag back, and all at once, he recognised her. "Beru?"

"Yes? What do you want?" She backed away suspiciously.

"I'm Anakin Skywalker, Luke's father. I'm Shmi Skywalker's son, maybe you remember, we've met before. When –"

"I remember that." There was a cold, steely note in her voice.

"So… Do you know where Luke is?"

"He's not here." She tried to pretend to be strong but Anakin could tell she was afraid. Afraid of _him_. "Obi-Wan!" Beru suddenly shouted. Anakin turned around and saw Obi-Wan coming up the stairs. It almost sounded as if Beru had shouted for help… "Where's Luke?" she asked urgently.

"Outside with the other children", Obi-Wan said. "Don't worry, everything's fine."

"I'm going to see that everything's ok." Beru hastily left the room.

"I'll be there in a minute", Obi-Wan called after her.

"Why is she afraid of me?" Anakin asked when Beru had disappeared.

Obi-Wan looked at him with an odd expression. "What did you expect Anakin? She has been told for years she had to hide Luke from his father, from Darth Vader. Darth Vader, the most dreaded man in the galaxy. She always had to live with the fear he might come to her house someday and demand for her foster child – just _demand_ and nothing more if she's lucky. And now he's suddenly here and he's said to be not dangerous anymore."

"Beru is Luke's foster mother?"

"Yes. Why… Didn't you know that?" Obi-Wan asked in surprise.

Anakin shrugged. "How would I know?"

"You're right… Beru and Owen Lars were your only relatives, that's why we brought Luke there", Obi-Wan explained almost apologetically. "They have cared well for him."

"Yes, of course. I didn't mean to question that, I was just interested."

"And naturally it's difficult for Beru to understand that Darth Vader's supposed to be good now. After all she has been told. She's just worried for Luke, you have to understand that –"

"I understand it, of course I do… I was being stupid, I should have known why she's afraid of me. I just wasn't thinking about it at all. And of course I'm glad she cares so conscientiously for Luke."

Obi-Wan sighed in relief. "She only has Luke's best interests at heart."

"Yes. Um… Master Yoda allowed me to see Luke."

"Yes, I know. Maybe… I mean, if you agree, it would probably be better if I explained certain things to him first. Otherwise he might feel overwhelmed. That is, of course you can explain it to him as well. It's just… I told him his father is dead." Obi-Wan looked regretfully at Anakin.

Anakin swallowed very hard. "Then you better explain it to him", he said without looking at Obi-Wan.

"What else could I have told him?"

"Yes… I understand", Anakin muttered, trying to control his uprising emotions. "It was probably the best thing to do…" _So I'm dead. To my son I'm dead. _Anakin quickly searched for another topic to discuss. "Where can I live?"

"You can stay here. If you're hungry – downstairs in the kitchen are some boxes with supplies. And that door over there, that's the bathroom. If there's anything else you need, just let me know."

"Ok. Um… ok." Anakin went back into the room where he was allowed to live now. He stepped to the window and let his gaze wander over the deserted landscape. The sky turned a pale shade of pink and the orange sun disappeared behind a mountain crest. Anakin had imagined everything to be easier. To be precise, he had never thought about it at all. Now he realised turning his back on the Sith was not enough. That did not automatically make him someone of the good side again. Hardly anyone was going to forgive him as readily as Qui-Gon did. Sure, Obi-Wan obviously wanted him to stay here and Yoda gave him a chance of proving his loyalty. But even if he actually succeeded in defeating the Emperor, it would not change much. _Darth Vader, the most dreaded man in the galaxy_. The children perhaps had heard spine-chillers about him or, probably even worse, the truth. Anakin understood he was going to live with hostile and frightened glances for the rest of his life. He could not hold it against anyone. From downstairs, he heard rattling of cutlery and muffled voices. He started becoming hungry again too. But he did not go downstairs. He did not want to put them in an awkward situation by his presence. Soon, he heard someone coming up the stairs. Obi-Wan and someone else. They went into the room next door.

"Can you tell me a story?" a children's voice asked eagerly.

Anakin felt a dragging pain in his chest. It was the first time he heard Luke's voice. To him, it was the most beautiful voice in the galaxy.

"No, not today", Obi-Wan's damped voice could be heard through the wall.

So Obi-Wan used to tell Luke bedtime stories? Anakin was torn between smiling and crying. Smiling, because he was sure Obi-Wan could tell wonderful stories. Crying, because Anakin had never had the chance to put his child to bed, kiss him goodnight or tell him bedtime stories. That was all he had ever wanted: give love to his child. Was it too much to ask for?

"Today I need to talk to you about something important", Obi-Wan continued. "You remember that man who came to Tatooine?"

"The man with all the other white men? You mean the man who lied and said he's my father and who is now here?"

_The man who lied… So that's what he thinks about me? _Luke did regard Anakin as a complete stranger, a stranger who _lied_. It _hurt_ to hear Luke talking like that. How could they ever be close, like father and son?

"Yes", Obi-Wan said finally, "that man. He, well… he is your father."

There was silence for a moment on Luke's part but then he said, "This is a joke, isn't it? You want to play a joke on me. I know a good joke too, shall I tell it to you? There's –"

"No, it's not a joke", Obi-Wan interrupted him. "I mean it. He really is your father."

"But he lied!" Luke protested. "He could never be my father. You know he lied! You told me the man lied when I asked you on Dagobah."

_What?!! _Obi-Wan had done that?! He had lied to Luke? He had told Luke _Anakin_ had lied? Obi-Wan had done it in the knowledge Anakin was going to die soon and still Obi-Wan had not told Luke the truth – even though Luke had asked! Luke would have never known about Anakin at all if Obi-Wan had had his way.

There was the hate again. The hate and the anger.

_How could he?!!_ Anakin could not control it any longer and the glow orbs dangling from the ceiling burst into tiny pieces. _No!_ He must not do this again. But how could he not be angry in such a situation? Wrapping his arms around his body, he rocked back and forwards, hoping to calm down by the steady movement. Next door, the voices had risen a bit.

"You lied to me!" Luke said angrily. "And that man lied too! I hate all of you, all, all, all!"

"Luke, listen, I'm very sorry for lying to you", Obi-Wan said helplessly. "I don't have an excuse and I understand if you're angry at me… But I'm not lying now. He really is your father."

"He can't be. You told me he's dead."

There it was. _Dead_. Hearing it from Luke made it ten times worse. A soft sob escaped Anakin's lips.

"I…yes. I thought he was dead", Obi-Wan continued lying. "But fortunately he's not dead."

"Why?"

"Why I thought he was dead?"

"No! Why did you say fortunately he's not dead?"

"Because it's good you have a father. I'm sure he wants to get to know you."

"But he's not my Dad!" Luke shouted and Anakin winced. "You told me Dad is the best and the bravest Jedi ever! Dad is the best spacepilot ever!"

"But that's right", Obi-Wan replied calmly.

"No!" Luke insisted. "That man is evil!"

With a terrible scratching noise, Anakin's mechanical hands grasped the window sill. Was this his punishment for everything he had done? He deserved it, didn't he? Because Luke was right: He _was_ evil. And that was why he was a complete stranger to his own son. And that was why his son rightfully despised him. All he had ever done in order to save Padmé and their child – this was what had become of it.

"What gives you the idea he's evil?" Obi-Wan asked carefully.

"He wanted to kill you. On Tatooine he attacked you with his lightsaber. And he has a _red_ lightsaber. You said only very, very evil people have a red lightsabre."

"Ah. Yes…" Obi-Wan seemed at a loss for words.

Anakin laughed bitterly but it came out more as a choked sob. _So this is where your lies and negotiation skills fail, Obi-Wan. _

"He did not really want to kill me. It was kind of a misunderstanding", Obi-Wan tried to talk his way out of it.

"But I felt it. He was all dark in the Force."

"That's because he made a grave mistake. He did bad things but now he's not evil anymore. You know, sometimes you do bad things too and sometimes I do bad things as well. But we still love each other, right? You remember when you beat that little girl who had destroyed your sandcastle? Or when I yelled at you because you didn't want to go to bed? Or the fact that I lied to you on Dagobah? We love each other nonetheless and it's much the same with the man, with your father, you understand that?"

"Why did he do bad things?"

"He did not realise he was doing bad things. He thought he was doing the right thing, he thought he was doing something good, and only later did he understand that he was mistaken."

"Yes?"

"Yes."

Luke was silent for a moment.

The hate and the anger had left Anakin in the meantime and had made way for a deep loneliness and despair. It was dark now in the little room. The first stars appeared at the night sky. There had been a time when he had wanted to see them all. A time when he had believed in angels and in the impossibility of a Jedi ever dying. He had soon come to learn there were no miracles and reality was not like that at all. Luke would have to learn that lesson to eventually. _When he's older, he's going to ask more questions. And when he learns the truth, he will hate me. Then things aren't as simple anymore as Obi-Wan is putting it now. _

"Obi-Wan? I don't understand it", Luke said timidly.

"You're right, that's really difficult to understand. Let's say: Your father was a little bit stupid."

"Because he didn't realise he was doing bad things."

"Exactly."

"Maybe Mum isn't dead either", Luke suggested hopefully.

That was the final blow for Anakin's self-control. He was shaking all over. _Mum_. Luke should have called Padmé that. Padmé would have been the best Mum ever. She had always insisted their child was a boy. She had so much looked forward to the birth of their child. She should have got to know Luke. _She_ – not Anakin – should have survived and be here now with Luke. And Luke would even hate him more when he learned that Anakin was the one who had taken his mother from him.

"No, Luke, your mother is dead, there's no doubt about it", Obi-Wan said heavily.

"Are you sure?" Luke asked, hope still evident in his voice.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Then Dad is probably sad because of that."

"Yes, he is. But I'm sure he would be very happy if you went to see him and talked a bit to him."

"No."

"Why not?"

"No, I don't want to go to him."

"But he surely would like to see you."

"I don't want to go to him!" Luke suddenly burst out. "He's stupid and evil! And you are too! You are stupid because you say I must go to him!"

"Luke, what's wrong? Of course I will not force you to go to him. If you don't want it, you don't have to do it. Of course you don't have to do it."

"I'm sorry I said you're stupid. I didn't mean it. I love you."

The change in mind was too sudden for Anakin's liking. Had Obi-Wan used a Jedi-mind-trick? Anakin vowed that, if he ever found out Obi-Wan used mind-tricks on his son, he would kill Obi-Wan.

"I love you too." Obi-Wan sounded sincere but still… Anakin did not trust him. "Are you afraid of your father?" Obi-Wan gently asked Luke.

"Yes…I guess."

_My own son is afraid of me. _Anakin could not fight back the tears any longer. _Why?_ Why did Padmé have to die? Why must Luke be afraid of him? He knew the answer to that: _It is all my fault_. It was his fault alone that Padmé was dead. He had choked her. And _that_ was what the dark side had done to him: In his anger and hate, he had killed the one person whom he had loved more than anything else. They could have been a happy little family. They _should_ have been a happy little family. But now he was alone, so alone. And all he had left was the darkness that surrounded him, his guilt and the knowledge of what should have been.

"Why are you afraid of him?" Obi-Wan asked carefully.

"He has creepy hands", Luke replied defiantly.

"That is not his fault. I've already explained it to you." Obi-Wan's voice had become his strict Master-voice now. "There are many, many different species in the galaxy and everyone looks different. You think that some are ugly but the beings you consider ugly probably think that they are very handsome and that _you_ are ugly. Just having hands that look creepy in your opinion doesn't mean he's evil."

"But he has creepy eyes too. And he says creepy things."

"Ok, what if we go to him together?" Obi-Wan said in a gentle voice again. "Then you'll see he's not really creepy at all and there's no reason to be afraid of him. Do you agree with that? Tomorrow we're going to see him together, would that be ok?"

"Yes, I guess."

"That's really nice of you. And I think you are very brave. Goodnight, Luke. I love you very much."

"I love you very much too, Obi-Wan."

And Anakin knew Luke was never going to say these words to him.

* * *

Obi-Wan smiled down at Luke. Or rather at the blond fuzzy-head because that was all that could be seen of Luke. Not being used to the low temperatures on Uresi, the little boy had pulled his blanket all over his face. Luke was the only one who could do that to Obi-Wan: make him smile, _genuinely _smile. When Luke had fallen asleep, Obi-Wan quietly got up and tiptoed out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar so they would always notice if anything was wrong.

He was just about to go downstairs when his Jedi-senses noticed a very soft noise. It sounded as if someone was crying. Anakin's door was ajar – it was obvious where the noise came from. It made Obi-Wan feel thoroughly uneasy. So he did not know why he sneaked to the door and peered inside. Anakin stood in front of the window; Obi-Wan could only recognise his scheme looming in front of the dark sky. He was trembling and trying clumsily to wipe the tears from his eyes with his mechanical hands. It was such a pitiful sight. It broke Obi-Wan's heart to see him like this. There was nothing left of the once self-confident, sometimes even arrogant young man. His first instinct was to rush to Anakin's side, give him a big hug and comfort him. But things did not work like that anymore. Anakin was no longer a 13-year-old Padawan, no longer an _innocent_ boy. _The boy you trained, gone he is . . . Consumed by Darth Vader. _Obi-Wan turned away and leant back against the cold stonewall. It would not do anyone any harm if he just went into that room and gave Anakin a hug. It would help Anakin and maybe it would help Obi-Wan too. _Damn it, I'm a terrible Jedi. There are no emotions, there is peace. Why is it so difficult to keep to that rule? _What had Qui-Gon told him a few days ago: _It's never wrong to love someone, Padawan_. But was it really right to love someone who had done things as Anakin had done? _Not more careful you have become after what happened to your young Padawan? _That was what Yoda had said. More and more things started replaying in Obi-Wan's mind, a loud cacophony of voices from his past.

_Obi-Wan, you have to train him... He is the Chosen One. You have to train Anakin._

_I have to accept Anakin's gone. – Maybe you can bring him back._

_Obi-Wan…there…is good in him. I know there is…still…_

_I don't want to be in an Order which forbids friendships anyway!_

_Anakin Skywalker dead is._

_I promise to protect you with my life and to guide your life in the Force._

_I really want to fulfil the prophecy but… can't I be sometimes happy all the same?_

_We mustn't forget either the crimes Darth Vader committed._

_But I felt it. He was all dark in the Force. _

Obi-Wan hit the back of his head against the wall. Why was everything so contradictory? There was nothing you could rely on, nothing but the Force. But the Force was silent now, it did not tell him what to do. The Force let him decide. So he finally turned off the ringing in his head and decided this was the time to listen to his heart.

* * *

Anakin had been so preoccupied with his sorrow he had not noticed Obi-Wan's presence. Only when someone gently took his mechanical hands and moved them away from his face, he became beware of Obi-Wan being in his room. Then two hands, _human_ hands, not terrible "creepy" mechanical hands, wiped away the tears from his cheeks. When had been the last time that someone had touched him in a gentle way? He knew exactly. That had been four years ago. _Padmé_… He burst into a new fit of sobs. Before he could react, Obi-Wan had tightly embraced him. A part of him was ashamed of his weakness and his tears but he was too weak and too teary to protest. He had almost forgotten what it felt like to be held, what it felt like to be close to someone. And it felt good. _Safe_. Obi-Wan was right: Anakin had been stupid. But not just a "little bit" but very, very stupid. Stupid, because he had believed in Palpatine's lies. Stupid, because he had doubted Obi-Wan's friendship and sincerity. Right now, the dark side could not do anything to him at all, he knew that. Slowly, warmth crawled back into his body. At the same time, trepidation grew. For years, he had nurtured his body with anger, coldness and hate. Now it felt as if he was burning inside. He was so vulnerable and the flames licked in all the raw places. His face being pressed so tightly against Obi-Wan's shoulder, he was hardly able to breathe anymore. Obi-Wan's arms, which grasped him in a vice-like grip, threatened to crush him. He was getting more and more claustrophobic. He knew he was going to suffocate any moment. Panting heavily, he shoved Obi-Wan away and backed away until there was a few feet space between them. He staggered back until he met the wall. Weakly, he leant back against it.

"Sorry", Obi-Wan muttered, "Qui-Gon told me you needed more time to adjust and he was right. I just thought I could help you like that… I just didn't think about what I was doing. I understand you are –"

"Stop apologising all the time!" Anakin cried heatedly. "It's so ridiculous! I'm the one who has to apologise, not you!"

"Then why don't you do it?" Obi-Wan's voice sounded almost pleading.

Despair threatened to overwhelm Anakin again. He was grateful it was dark in the room and so he did not have to look into Obi-Wan's eyes. "How. It's not possible." He felt so tired and drained, so weary of life. "What am I supposed to say. I did things that can never be forgiven." Obi-Wan remained silent for a very long time. Anakin sank down, his back to the wall. He was too tired to stand on his feet any longer. He had killed all of them. All the great Masters, the Knights, the Padawans, the _younglings_. And so many more innocent beings. But _he_ was still alive.

"You are right", Obi-Wan finally said quietly. "Some things are unforgivable. But you're not supposed to ask for forgiveness. If you just said that you're sorry, that you regretted your actions…"

"That doesn't make them alive again."

"No. Of course not…"

_You cannot make them alive again. Your care should be for the living, not for the dead. The living need your help. Just listen a bit more closely. _Maybe that was all Obi-Wan wanted. A simple apology. He needed certainty Anakin regretted his actions and had not simply come back thinking everything was just fine again. Obi-Wan wanted to hear him say it as a confirmation of the trust he had put in Anakin by bringing him here to the other Jedi.

"Obi-Wan…" In the darkness, Anakin could only recognise Obi-Wan's scheme in front of the window. He looked old, slightly bent forward, his shoulders slumped. "I regret very much what I did. Not just because I experience the consequences now. That my own son is afraid of me. That our friendship is destroyed." A part of him hoped Obi-Wan was going to contradict him and say, _Our friendship is not destroyed, Anakin_. But there was only silence in the dark. "I'm sorry I caused such suffering and if there was a chance to go back and make it undone, I'd do it immediately." _But there's no such chance for me_, he added in thought. _It will haunt me for the rest of my life. I will never again be able to sleep without having nightmares. _

"The Emperor said you showed pity when you burned down the Jedi-Temple", Obi-Wan said. "He said you _spared_ the Jedi. What did he mean?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Are there more Jedi who survived?"

Anakin hated having to destroy the hope in Obi-Wan's voice. "I know of no one else", he answered heavily.

"Then why did the Emperor say it?" Obi-Wan insisted. "He must have had a reason to say it. I mean… To me it doesn't look at all like you have spared the Jedi."

"Trust me, to me it doesn't look like that either." Anakin hesitated. It was a tad difficult to explain. "It…may sound perverse to you… Well. Sidious expected me to kill every Jedi. I mean, every single Jedi. He says it was my weakness that I didn't kill the Jedi one by one but just burned down the Temple. I know it doesn't make better what I did", he quickly added.

"It… maybe it did make a few things better. 32 students and four Jedi-Knights survived the fire. They could escape the flames. They used the secret passage, the one that the students use to get secretly out into the city." Obi-Wan kept his voice emotionally detached while recounting those horrible events but Anakin had known him for so many years that he could tell how much Obi-Wan was agitated inside. "It was the only exit that was not guarded by stormtroopers. Didn't you know that secret passage? I thought all the students knew – and used – it."

"Of course I knew it, Obi-Wan", Anakin whispered.

"Oh." Obi-Wan kept silent again for a long time. "Why didn't you do like Sidious told you to do?" he finally asked calmly.

"Well, he never said directly… I mean, he _did_ say it in a certain way but I… Well, it was the easy thing to do."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Cowardice", Anakin said bitterly. "Thus I could salve my bad conscience. I didn't have to get my fingers dirty."

"That's not about cowardice, Anakin", Obi-Wan said softly. "Pity is not weakness. It's strength."

Suddenly Anakin had a big lump in his throat. How he whished that was true! He sadly shook his head. "It doesn't make a difference."

"Not for those who are dead. But for those who survived. And…it makes a difference to you. And to me too."

Anakin did not know what to say to this. Why should he argue? If Obi-Wan wanted to see it that way, he would let him. Gradually, Anakin's tension decreased and his breath relaxed. Closing his eyes, he allowed the calmness of this room and this planet to calm down his emotions too. "Obi-Wan, I want to thank you for looking after Luke."

"You needn't thank me for that", Obi-Wan replied and Anakin could almost hear that he was smiling. "I enjoyed doing it. You've got a wonderful son."

Tears in his eyes, Anakin smiled too. "I just wish Padmé could see him now." It was the first time in four years that he said her name aloud. He waited for something to happen. He felt something should happen, like the Force starting yelling at him or beating him. But nothing happened. There was just silence. Nothing had changed except for the weight that had been lifted from Anakin's chest. Somehow he found the courage to continue now. "Did you tell Luke I was the one who murdered his mother?"

"She did not die because you choked her. Did you think that was the cause of her death?" Obi-Wan asked concerned.

"She didn't die because I choked her?" Anakin asked surprised. "But how…? Why…?"

"No one could really explain what happened. Medically, she was completely healthy. The medical droids said she had lost the will to live."

"She did not die at my hand?" Anakin asked incredulously.

"No, she –"

"Sidious told me I had killed her!" Anakin roared, not able to control himself any longer. The pain, the fury – it all came down on him. He jumped up on his feet again, angrily pacing the room, wildly gesticulating. "He told me I had killed her in my anger! HE CLAIMED _I_ MURDERED HER! HE KEPT TELLING ME I WASN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO SAVE HER! HE LIED TO ME! IF I HAD KNOWN THAT, I WOULD HAVE NEVER –"

"99 percent of the things Sidious says are lies", Obi-Wan interrupted him harshly. "You should know that by now."

That brought Anakin down to earth. "Yes, of course…" he muttered, furiously rubbing his temples. He refrained himself from hissing painfully when the durasteel fingers poked into his sensitive flesh. "Were – were you with her when she died?"

"Yes."

"That's…" Anakin swallowed very hard. "…good." So at least someone had been with her. But the bitterness directed towards Obi-Wan was still there – though he knew it was wrong. _He_, Anakin, should have been with Padmé, he should have been there for her, holding her hand, telling her how much he loved her…

"Her last words were for you", Obi-Wan said softly. "She was convinced you were not completely lost to the dark side. She never stopped believing in you. She truly loved you… And she really did not want to bring me to Mustafar. I, well, sneaked into her spaceship. After I had told her…what I was going to do, she wanted to warn you. Trust me, she never brought me to Mustafar to kill you."

Obi-Wan's words were like balm to Anakin's soul. It felt so good, knowing Padmé had not conspired with Obi-Wan against him – she had never wanted him dead. And even after what he had done to her, she had not stopped believing in him. At the same time, this knowledge made everything worse. The last thing he had said to her were false accusations. The last time she had seen her beloved husband, he had been a monster. "It did it for her", he said in a small, broken voice. "I had visions of her dying in childbirth. Dreams like the ones I used to have about my mother before she died. I was so terrified of losing her like I lost my mother. Palpatine promised me to show me a way to save her. When you were on Utapau, he revealed himself as the Sith-Lord to me. I reported him to the Council but when Master Windu was about to kill him, I intervened. Palpatine had said he could teach me the powers to save Padmé. I could not let him die. He was my only hope. Saving Padmé was all that mattered to me."

Anakin heard Obi-Wan let out the breath he had been holding. Now he knew Anakin's motives for turning to the dark side. _What did he think earlier why I did it? _Was he now disappointed of Anakin because he had gone against the Code? Or was he relieved Anakin had at least something like a reason for turning to the dark side and had not simply slaughtered the Jedi out of pure malice?

"Why didn't you come to me?" Obi-Wan demanded to know at last. "When you had those visions… Why did you have to run to _Palpatine_?! Why didn't you tell me?"

Of all the questions Obi-Wan could have asked – this was not the one Anakin had expected. It seemed beside the point. And yet it made everything worse again. "How could I have told you?" Anakin said ashamedly. "It would have meant admitting Padmé and I were married."

"I'm not blind, Anakin", Obi-Wan said slightly angrily. "Don't you think I never noticed the _secret_ looks you two exchanged? The way you walked on air after meeting her, ready to put up with everything but at the same time mentally absent. I may be a Jedi who sticks to the Code but I'm not completely _dumb_."

"But if I had told you, things would have been official. You would have been forced to report me to the Council."

"I wouldn't have told them."

"Yeah, but you'd have forced _me_ to tell them: _Padawan, either you tell them within the next 24 hours or I'm going to do it_, right?" Suddenly Anakin heard a soft sob from Obi-Wan. He froze. What…? "Master?" he whispered in shock.

"S-sorry. Sorry for being…for being like that."

"But – but – what -? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, I – I –", Anakin stuttered helplessly. He reached for the back of a chair, needing to hold on to something. "You see, Padmé wanted me to tell you but… Once, I tried to talk to Master Yoda, I told him I had visions of someone dying. And he told me to let go of everything I fear to lose. You know I've never been a good Jedi if it came to that. I know it's wrong to have such attachments and it's wrong to let your visions and fear control you but I just couldn't do it: wait and do nothing, stand by and watch her die, I could've never done that."

Obi-Wan sighed deeply. "I know… And now? What if something like that happened again? What if you had such visions about Luke?"

Anakin gulped. "Don't say such things", he pleaded.

"Answer me", Obi-Wan insisted. "Would you do the same again?"

"Of course I would try to save him", Anakin answered cautiously. "But… I wouldn't trust in Sidious again. And I would tell you about such visions."

Obi-Wan sighed again. "Well, that's a little improvement then, I guess."


	39. Creepy Hands

**This chapter is a bit lighter than the rest... But next chapter will be angsty again (and then finally Obi-Wan's POV). Read, enjoy - and review ;-)**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter:**

Anaya: **... and yay to you too for writing such a lovely review :) Thank you!!!!**

amthyst-fire: **Thanks a lot for the kind compliment:)**

Over baked nut loaf: **I like Anakin in this chapter very much too. As long as an evil Sith Lord isn't manipulating him, he's a really sweet and nice boy ;-)**

Jedi Knight 13: **I'm so glad you thought it wasn't too sappy. I was a bit afraid it might sound... sappy ;-) Anakin finally recognises the signals of the dark side. he still has to learn how to overcome them but he's at least done the first step in order to dismiss the dark side. **

Sentrosi: **Thank you so much! You "hate" French? I think it's a lovely language (I like its sound) but unfortunately I'm not able to speak French in coherent sentences ;-)**

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Anakin had not slept a wink. The whole night he had thought about the conversation he had had with Obi-Wan and about the conversation between Luke and Obi-Wan he had overheard. Then he had rethought what Qui-Gon had told him… and what Yoda had said… his mission to destroy the Emperor… He had thought about Sidious, about Padmé, about the Jedi Order, about the Republic which was an Empire now – he had practically thought about everything. And yet, all the thinking had not helped. He was none the wiser than before but just tired and very depressed. He had come to no conclusion what he should do except for one thing: He needed to talk to Owen and Beru about Luke.

As soon as he heard noises in the house indicating that someone else was awake too, he went downstairs. Beru was in the kitchen, rummaging the boxes with supplies.

"Good morning, Mrs Lars", Anakin said politely.

"Good morning", she replied stiffly. Feeling still uneasy in his presence, she made a fuss about making tea, making a point of not looking at him.

"I wanted to thank you and your husband for caring so well for Luke", Anakin recited what he had wanted to say.

"You're welcome", she replied coldly.

Anakin smiled weakly. "I suppose you've become like parents to Luke. It certainly would not be wise to separate him from his family. I just want my son to be happy. I would be happy to agree to him staying with you – provided that he wants it and you want it too, that is. And if it's not inconvenient to you."

"It is not inconvenient."

"I'm…glad to hear that." Anakin smiled uncertainly. "Thank you very much", he said again. "Um… Where's your husband anyway? I'd like to thank him too."

"My husband is dead", she said curtly.

"Oh no." Anakin stared in shock and sympathy at Beru's back. "I didn't know… I'm… I'm so sorry. How…?"

She still did not turn to him and spoke to the tea-kettle. "Tusken raiders. Two years ago they attacked and robbed him. We found him severely injured and almost died of thirst in the Jundland wastes. He died of his injuries."

Just like Anakin's mother… "Those Tusken raiders - they're vicious monsters!" he spat.

"He was delirious and was hallucinating", Beru continued. Her voice was not as cold and harsh anymore but rather weak, bitter. "He did not even recognise me anymore. He was having panic attacks and… probably death came as a release to him." Her hands were trembling madly and she quickly hid them inside her cloak. "Anyway", she went on, sober again, "I didn't feel safe anymore alone with Luke. Obi-Wan offered his help and since then he's lived with us."

"Are you married?" Anakin asked curiously. Beru and Obi-Wan seemed to be quite close. In addition, Anakin had the feeling Obi-Wan showed a certain degree of understanding for his situation with Padmé.

Finally, Beru turned to look at him. "Obi-Wan and I?" she asked incredulously. "No." She grinned a little bit.

"And there's no, um, love affair?"

Now Beru was actually laughing. "No! He's a bit too old for me, don't you think? And he's also – oh, don't get me wrong, I like Obi-Wan very much and he's a wonderful man but no, there's no love affair. Honestly, you're jumping to conclusions…"

Anakin blushed a little. He felt a bit silly. "Well, it could have been, couldn't it?" he defended himself lamely.

"Of course, oh, why not? I'm going to contemplate this." She giggled. "I absolutely need to tell Obi-Wan about this… He's going to get the shock of his life!"

"Oh no! No, no, no, please don't! Don't tell him, please don't, otherwise…argh. Please don't tell him", Anakin pleaded with her.

"Why not?" Beru asked amused.

"Because… No, just don't tell him", he begged.

"Alright, if it is sooo important to you…"

Greatly relieved, Anakin dashed off. Beru was still giggling.

He went outside and wandered down the line of houses. A way ahead, Master Yoda was instructing a group of younglings on a dried meadow. Anakin passed two older students who were fighting a lightsaber duel. Upon recognising him, they stopped dead, staring warily at him. All of a sudden, Anakin remembered he was not allowed to get near the children. So he turned and walked back. When he looked over his shoulder, he saw the two still staring at him and whispering to each other. There was no doubt what they were discussing.

Obi-Wan was nowhere to be seen and there was really no one else Anakin could go to, so he went back to his room. There he tried, as Yoda had advised him to do, to meditate. He tried to clear his mind but as soon as he had managed to slightly calm his emotions down, unbidden and disturbing thoughts came down on him. When he let himself fall into the Force, he was seized by dark waves. Frustrated (and afraid of having to go through it once again), he gave up. Just then, there was a knock at the door. "Come in."

It was Obi-Wan, followed by Luke, who was trying very hard to hide behind Obi-Wan's back.

"Hello there", Obi-Wan said, smiling. "Someone wants to visit you."

"Hello." Anakin made an effort to catch Luke's eye. "Hi, Luke."

He did not get an answer.

"Well, say hello to your Dad, Luke", Obi-Wan encouraged Luke but the little boy just silently shook his head.

Anakin did his best to hide his mechanical hands inside his cloak. "How are you, Luke? Did you sleep well?" he asked bashfully. Again no answer. He could not think of anything more to ask. Loosing heart more and more, he imploringly sought Obi-Wan's eye.

"Let's play the game you brought", Obi-Wan suggested to Luke.

"You brought a game? What kind of game?" Anakin tried to sound interested.

Without saying a word, Luke put a box on the table and immediately retreated to Obi-Wan's side.

"Spaceship Race", Anakin read the label on the box. "Sounds good."

"I'm going to get us a third chair", Obi-Wan said. "Luke, you can set up the gameboard in the meantime."

"But I want to come with you", Luke replied quietly.

Obi-Wan shrugged in defeat. "Very well then…"

Anakin felt terribly incapable and out of place. Unenthusiastically, he unpacked the box with the Spaceship Race. There were eight little spaceships of different colour, and a board with a planet, on which there was a treasure chest, as the goal. It was kind of cute, Anakin thought. He certainly would have liked it as a child. He put the spaceships on 'start' and decided he was going to get the X-Wing – though the lurid green colour was not true to the original, naturally. He wondered which of the spaceships was Luke's favourite one. And who had given him the game? Surely not Obi-Wan, right? Anakin sat at the table and toyed a bit with the X-Wing. Finally, Obi-Wan and Luke came back with another chair.

"Ah, you've already set it up", Obi-Wan said grinning. "I bet you like that."

"Sure."

Obi-Wan sat at the table too. "Sit down", he told Luke, indicating the chair next to him. "Do you want to have the blue ship again?"

Luke bent towards Obi-Wan and whispered something in his ear. Obi-Wan whispered something back. Anakin felt terribly excluded. It pained him to see the intimacy between the two. He was seized by a morbid jealousy of Obi-Wan and though he knew it was silly, he could not do anything against the feeling.

Finally Obi-Wan spoke aloud to Luke, "Then tell him."

"You have to tell him", Luke said quietly.

Obi-Wan sighed and turned to Anakin. "Luke wants to go outside and play with his friend. That's a pity, I had been looking forward to playing Spaceship Race again."

"What's your friend's name?" Anakin asked Luke, pretending to be cheerful. Again, he did not get an answer.

"It's okay", Obi-Wan told Luke. "You may go outside now."

"Goodbye, Luke", Anakin said, trying to smile.

"Honestly, Luke, it cannot be _that_ difficult to say goodbye", Obi-Wan said.

"Goodbye." With that, Luke turned around and left hurriedly.

The feigned smile vanished from Anakin's face in an instant, and his shoulders dropped.

"It'll get better eventually", Obi-Wan said soothingly. "He just needs more time to understand and accept that his father isn't dead."

"He's my son but he treats me like – like… like a stranger!"

"Of course he does. Today he's seen you for the first time", Obi-Wan objected reasonably enough. "He has to get used to you being his father."

"He's seen me before: on Tatooine. I'm not a complete idiot, Obi-Wan! He's afraid of me. He doesn't want to get to know me. He would have never come to visit me if you hadn't forced him." Obi-Wan remained silent. Anakin felt tears well up in him again. His throat tight, he stared down at the table. It was so pathetic: They were sitting here in uncomfortable silence in front of a silly, colourful children's game. With a desperate sob, Anakin swept the board with the spaceships from the table. Thanks to his Jedi senses, Obi-Wan was not hit full force. Shocked, he ducked down and avoided the flying pieces. Then Anakin pushed over the table, flung his chair into the window, making the glass shatter, he grabbed the next chair –

"Hey!" Obi-Wan jumped up and tightly grasped his forearms. "Hey! Will you calm down –"

"I _hate_ it, I hate all of it!" Anakin roared in helpless rage and despair.

"No, Anakin, don't do this. You mustn't give in to your _hate_ –"

"I can't stand it, I can't bear it!" He continued roaring and raging while Obi-Wan kept telling him to calm down. Desperately, he tried to break free from Obi-Wan's grasp but Obi-Wan clutched his arms with unbelievable strength. Dimly, Anakin became aware Obi-Wan was using the Force to hold him.

"_Calm down_, Anakin. It doesn't help anyone if you go berserk like this. Please. Stop hating."

Panting heavily, Anakin gave up struggling. "It makes me sick!" he lamented. "When everyone I pass stares at me in mistrust, whispering behind my back… I can't bear it!"

"All of this needs more time. You need to be a bit patient." Finally, Obi-Wan let go of him.

"A _bit_ patient?!" Anakin retorted heatedly. "Do you have any idea what it feels like?! I am not patient!"

"Then it's high time you learn patience. Here you are." Obi-Wan handed him the carafe, which had stood on the table next to Anakin's bed, and had miraculously survived his outburst.

Anakin took the offered item. "What am I supposed to do with it?"

"Throw it on the floor."

"Excuse me?"

"We have enough of these. You can go on and smash it. If it helps you."

Anakin glared suspiciously at Obi-Wan. "It's a lecture, isn't it?"

"Ah, nonsense! Just smash it or I'll do it."

"Alright then…" Anakin raised his arms and sent the carafe smashing to the ground with all his strength, making the fragments fly in all directions.

"Well done", Obi-Wan commented. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Not really."

"Aha. Might I suggest meditation as an alternative? Maybe it's going to help."

"I've already tried but it didn't work", Anakin admitted.

"What does not work? The meditation itself or the meditation helping you?"

"The meditation itself. When –"

That moment the door opened and Luke came in. "Obi-Wan, what happened? I heard a loud bang." Then he noticed the broken window, the pushed over table and chairs, and the fragments of the carafe. He opened his eyes wide. "Why have you done that?" he asked slightly shocked.

"Oh, that was just a game", Obi-Wan said lightly. "Be careful not to step into the pieces."

"Which game, Obi-Wan?" Luke asked curiously.

"A really _wizard_ game."

"Yes?"

"Yes. You could have joined us but you didn't want to. Well, too bad."

"Which game, Obi-Wan?" Luke insisted.

"I won't tell you", Obi-Wan teased him.

"You are so stupid", Luke whined.

"I think you are stupid too because you didn't play Spaceship Race with us."

"But you are so much more…_stupid_!"

"Oh dear. Don't you think you're too old to just call everyone _stupid_ all the time?"

Luke pulled a face. "But you said I'm stupid too. And you're _much _older than me."

Anakin could not help but grin self-satisfied. He was very proud of his son, who was able to win an argument against the _Negotiator._

"You're right", Obi-Wan consequently had to concede. "I'm sorry I used that word. I didn't mean it. I love you."

"I'm sorry too I used that word", Luke said earnestly. "I didn't mean it. I love you. Um… Are you going to play that game again tomorrow? Because, maybe, I'm going to join you then."

"Erm… maybe. In case we want to play it again, we'll tell you."

"Alright. And Aunt Beru says lunch is ready."

"Ok. And set a fourth plate on the table so your Dad can eat with us."

"Why?"

"Because he's probably hungry."

"I'm not hungry", Anakin said quickly. He did not feel like eating with the others at all. He could well imagine it: Beru glancing suspiciously at him, Obi-Wan trying to make Luke talk to Anakin…

"I'm not hungry either", Luke said hopefully.

"That doesn't matter. You have to eat something", Obi-Wan said. He turned to Anakin. "And the same goes to you."

"Alright. I'm going to tell Aunt Beru." With that, Luke dashed off.

"Why are you doing that?" Anakin accused Obi-Wan. "No one wants me there."

"I want you to eat with us and –"

"Luke and Beru certainly don't want that."

"You're focussing on the negative", Obi-Wan said disapprovingly.

Anakin snorted. "The problem is that there's nothing positive I could focus on."

"I don't agree with that."

"Ah yes? Then tell me about anything which is not negative."

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows. "I think you're clever enough to find out yourself. As for me, I haven't felt as positive as now for four years."

"Must've been a hell of a four years then", Anakin said moodily.

"That fits it quite well."

Anakin quickly shut his mouth, mentally slapping himself for such a rash comment. "I'm sorry", he said guiltily, "I didn't mean it like that. I…"

"Well?"

"Well?" Anakin uncertainly looked at Obi-Wan.

"Haven't you understood the ritual yet? The correct thing to say is 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I love you.' That would be a proper apology. I love you too, Anakin."

Obi-Wan had never said it that directly before. Of course Anakin knew it was just a joke but still… It was something positive he would be able to focus on. He shyly smiled at Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan grinned back. "You know, if you want to be able to get along with Luke, you'll have to learn that. Beru tried to teach him to apologise when he started insulting people but it kind of backfired. Now Luke thinks it is perfectly ok to insult people as long as you say the ritual afterwards."

"And what does he say if he insults someone whom he doesn't like? Does he tell them 'I love you' as well?" Anakin asked amused.

"I'm not sure, I've never seen him apologise to someone he doesn't like… Hm, maybe he's always nice to the people he doesn't like."

"That's a clever tactic."

"Yes, absolutely. You could learn a lot from him. Come on, let's go downstairs. They're waiting for us. And after lunch we'll see what can be done about your meditation. Well, you should better clean up here first." Obi-Wan took a look around and shook his head. "Oh Anakin, you've destroyed your whole room…"

It sounded much like _Oh Anakin, what have you done with your lightsaber again?_ "The thing with the glow orbs happened already yesterday", Anakin defended himself lamely.

"There isn't much left for you if tomorrow you want to destroy something again", Obi-Wan observed.

"Yeah… I guess I'll have to learn patience then", Anakin said sheepishly. He felt like a little, ignorant Padawan again, when Obi-Wan more or less shoved him out of the door and down the stairs. "It _was _a lecture, wasn't it?"

"Excuse me?"

"The carafe. I was to realise giving in to my anger doesn't help. I was to understand meditating and calming down helps me more."

"Oh, I haven't been your Master for more than five years. It's not my place anymore to lecture you. Life itself teaches the most important lessons and of course I'm glad to see you learn your lessons from it, my former Padawan."

"I'm afraid I don't believe you, _Master_."

Obi-Wan muttered something about what he had done to deserve that, and that Anakin – or Anakin's son – was going to be the death of him. Anakin felt better with each passing second.

The meal Beru had cooked was better than Obi-Wan's cooking but calling it _delicious_ would be a huge exaggeration. _Poor Luke_, Anakin thought sympathetically. _He never gets something nice to eat_. If Padmé had been still alive, Naboo's best cooks would have prepared Luke's meals. Not wanting to make Luke feel self-conscious, Anakin tried to watch him without him noticing. Luke, however, did not show any such subtlety. The little boy had not touched his food yet but was staring with a mixture of fear and fascination at Anakin's hands. Being watched like this drove Anakin crazy. The movement of his hands were getting more and more clumsy. Finally, he put his fork and knife down. The clinking sound of it was the only thing that could be heard. Beru and Obi-Wan had stopped eating too and were staring at Anakin's hands in silence. Anakin was just about to jump up and storm out of the room, when Obi-Wan saved him from the awkward situation.

"Look, Luke, you can eat with such hands as well as with any other hands. They work perfectly normally." Luke grinned shyly. Obi-Wan stretched his hand out towards Anakin. Reluctantly, Anakin seized it. Obi-Wan shook his hand as if they were greeting each other. "You see?" Obi-Wan told Luke. "You can even touch it and nothing happens. It's completely harmless." He smiled at Anakin and then let go of his hand.

Surprisingly, Beru now took Anakin's hand too and they shook hands. "Obi-Wan's right", she said to Luke. "There's nothing scary about it. Now it's your turn, Luke."

Hesitantly, Anakin extended his hand but Luke did not grasp it but simply stared warily at it. The moment continued, dragged on unbearably. Anakin clenched his trembling fingers into a fist. At that movement, Luke gave a piercing shriek, jumped up and hid behind Beru. Anakin pressed his lips tightly together. What was he to do if the boy fled at every little movement he made?! He had just decided to give up, when Luke's face peeked cautiously from behind Beru's back. Anakin was more than astonished to see him _grinning_. Carefully, Anakin unclenched his fist again. Luke squeaked and disappeared behind Beru's back again. But only seconds afterwards, his expectant face reappeared.

_Alright then, if the game works like that…_ Anakin moved his fingers a little bit, then he let them crawl above the table, afterwards he hid his hand inside his cloak and let it suddenly come out, snap shut, then his hand became a squid, a sarlacc and practically every animal that had a large mouth and was _very_ dangerous. Each time, Luke would squeak more loudly and more hilariously. Obi-Wan and Beru watched, laughing, and very slowly, a grin crept over Anakin's face too. Never in his life had he imagined his mechanical hands could be that useful.


	40. Mustafar 2

**Thanks to everyone for reviewing!**

Anaya, amthyst-fire and Jedi Knight 13: **I'm glad you like the father-son interaction. My little cousin is four years old – that's why I chose Luke to be four years old too ;-) – and I sometimes "borrow" some of his character traits for Luke. (Fortunately, my cousin's father is _not_ a former Sith-Lord and does not have mechanical hands... but the little one squeaks a lot too!)**

Lily Dragon: **What I can say to such a review?... Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I was grinning like an idiot when I read your review ;-) That was so nice of you to say! Obi-Wan is my favourite character too and I'm really glad you liked the way I wrote him. To me, the fact that he is so human is the essential thing in this fanfic. It was important for Anakin to understand that Obi-Wan is not just always the perfect and aloof Jedi Master but has problems and _emotions_ too. That's how they became so close, especially in their earlier years as Master and Padawan. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story just as much!**

Sentrosi: **Ok, I understand that (fortunately my siblings are not very good at French...) And I'm glad you're not planning to turn to the dark side ;-)**

Darth Ergo: **Thank you so much! I always thought it was so tragic that Anakin and Obi-Wan ended up as mortal enemies and that Anakin killed Obi-Wan in Episode 6... and that's why I felt the need to write such a fanfic ;-) **

* * *

Obi-Wan planned to meditate with Anakin outside, far away from everyone else. Clearing your mind was easier in the open air than in the suffocating narrowness of a little room. Being out in the open helped most people to open up to the Living Force. In addition to that, Anakin really needed to get out of his room where he tended to hole up.

"Don't you have better things to do than looking after me all the time?" Anakin asked lightly while they were searching for a quiet place.

"Yoda granted us one week in order to prepare for our _mission_. And that's exactly what we're doing right now."

"Our mission?" Anakin looked questioningly at him. Then realisation dawned on him. "Oh no. I'd almost forgotten about that."

Simply forgetting about such a mission was not as easy as that to Obi-Wan. Most of all, he did not want to face the Emperor with a labile Anakin.

"Master!" Anakin said shocked. "We need to practise our lightsaber skills."

"Meditation is first", Obi-Wan insisted.

"Meditation won't help us to defeat Sidious."

"You can never know that. It's important to reconnect with yourself if you want to be able to resist Sidious."

"First Jedi rule: Survive. If we're dead, we can't defeat him, right?" Anakin looked challengingly at Obi-Wan.

"Hm. I guess you're right", Obi-Wan conceded reluctantly.

"Ok. We're going to practice lightsaber combat now", Anakin decided. "Let's do it right here, it's a good place."

"Ok", Obi-Wan agreed, though all his senses screamed not to do it.

Anakin drew his lightsaber and ignited it. Involuntarily, Obi-Wan winced. Red. Deadly blood-red.

"Sorry, I don't have another one", said Anakin, who had noticed his look. "And there's hardly enough time left to go to Ilum."

"Sure", Obi-Wan muttered and ignited his own blade, adjusting it to low energy so it could not cause Anakin severe injuries. And what if Anakin did not do that? What if he set his lightsaber to high energy? Already while thinking along these lines, Obi-Wan was ashamed of himself. He knew he could trust Anakin. So where did those unbidden thoughts come from?

"Are you ready?" Anakin asked.

"Yes." Obi-Wan tried to calm down his fast beating heart but he did not succeed.

"Ok, let's start", Anakin said unperturbed.

They started slowly, doing a few warm-up strikes. Then Anakin sped up the pace. Obi-Wan had thought he would have been completely out of practice but he was positively surprised at how well things still went. Everything came back bit by bit, the movements happened automatically. He and Anakin were still perfectly coordinated. With the sureness of a sleep-walker, Obi-Wan parried Anakin's blows. It was not thinking – it was feeling. He flew with the Force, his arms and legs reacted instinctively. Act – react; slash – parry. He knew what was going to happen before it happened. Yes, next move on Anakin's part was going to be spinning around and then attacking from left and high – _right, here we go, duck down, block the blow, swish your lightsaber up again… _The form of Anakin's attack was so _obvious_. It was like… like Mustafar again. The realisation sent a cold chill running down his spine. The very same exchange of blows had happened on Mustafar. And Anakin's next move was going to be striking right and low – Obi-Wan could only feebly parry the strike. He felt the hot air again, he smelled the ash and lava, he saw Anakin eyes sparkling yellow with hate. _This is what will happen if you fail, my very young Padawan. _He had fought _against _Anakin, he had deliberately chopped off his arm. They had tried to _kill _each other.

Anakin's next blow hit his arm full-on. The pain brought him back to the present.

"Oh, sorry", Anakin shouted in shock, deactivated his lightsaber immediately and seized Obi-Wan's arm in order to examine the burn. "I didn't mean to hit you, I expected you to block my strike… I'm sorry. How bad is the burn?" He seemed sincerely worried but Obi-Wan was too agitated to care.

He harshly shoved Anakin's hand aside. "I'm fine", he said curtly.

"But why – ?"

"I said I'm _fine_!" Obi-Wan repeated enraged. He called his lightsaber to him with the Force and turned away. "That's enough for today. We can continue practising another time." He hurriedly left.

"Master, wait!" Anakin caught up with him. "What happened? You –"

"_Anakin_", Obi-Wan grinded out, struggling to retain self-control. "Why can't you just leave me in peace _for a moment_?" He knew he sounded repelling and he saw the hurt look on Anakin's face but right now he was not ready to talk about it.

"Sorry", Anakin mumbled and stopped in his tracks.

Obi-Wan hastily went back. On his way, his trembling breathing gradually calmed down. He was not going to "continue practising another time", there was no arguing about that. He was never going to fight against Anakin again. What had possessed him to use a lightsaber again? He had sworn he was never going to touch a lightsaber again… But, come to think of it, he had never been one to keep to his promises.

_I promise to protect you with my life and to guide your life in the Force._

_Obi-Wan, you have to train him... He is the Chosen One. You have to train Anakin. Teach him well… - Yes, Master, I will, I promise!_

_Are you afraid of me now? - A little bit. - That I may kill you? Because you don't have to worry about it, I'd never do that, I promise._

Resting his head in his hands, Obi-Wan gloomily stared at the lightsaber lying on the table in front of him. The lightsaber which had almost made him the murderer of his best friend. A lightsaber was not simply any weapon. It was a Jedi's most precious possession. Every Jedi made his own lightsaber, each lightsaber was unique and represented the Jedi who had produced it. It was a part of a Jedi. On Mustafar, Obi-Wan had lost a part of himself. It was impossible to bring that part back now. This lightsaber had caused suffering and had been used to _attack_ – not only to defend. _This weapon is your life_. And it seemed that was all Obi-Wan's life was about: Failure and suffering.

The door behind him opened softly and Anakin came in. Obi-Wan gritted his teeth. Why was it so difficult to understand he wanted to be let alone now? Obi-Wan had accepted when Anakin had refused his embrace last night. He had understood Anakin shied away from close physical contact for some reason and so he let him be, waiting for Anakin to do the first step. Why could Anakin not grant him the same freedom? Before turning around to face Anakin, Obi-Wan made an effort to shield his emotions. It was pretty unnecessary, actually – after all, he had allowed Anakin to enter his mind. _And that's why he should know how I feel now and had better leave! _

"What's the matter, Anakin?"

"I brought you some bacta. Here you are." Anakin laid a box of patches on the table.

"Thanks." Without looking at Anakin, Obi-Wan applied the patch. As if all of this was really just about burns and patches… There was no amount of bacta which could heal the wound Mustafar had created. Mustafar had left a deep, ugly scar which was never going to disappear.

"It's not like you to brood like this instead of treating the burn", Anakin interrupted his dark musings.

"Things change", Obi-Wan replied curtly.

Anakin's gaze rested on the lightsaber on the table. "Why haven't you used a lightsaber for the last four years?" He looked up and intently into Obi-Wan's eyes.

_Why does he have to insist on talking about it? He knows, doesn't he! Why does he have to rub it in?!_ "Of all the people in the galaxy you are the last one I wish to discuss this with", Obi-Wan said angrily. The hurt look on Anakin's face made him regret his hard words immediately. "As I said: things change", Obi-Wan continued calmly again. "It's never going to be the way it once was. You need to accept that."

His eyes cast down, Anakin nodded. "I'm sorry it came to this", he said quietly.

"So am I, Anakin. So am I…" Obi-Wan stared at the lightsaber in silence.

"Just one more thing", Anakin said, sounding business-like again. "I understand if you don't want to spar with me but then you should perhaps ask Master Yoda to assist you as a sparring partner."

"Master Yoda has his hands full with training 30 students."

"Yes, but this is _important_. It's about fighting the Emperor. And trust me, I know what he's able to do. If you do not do your very best, you won't stand a chance against him."

_Trust me, I know what he's able to do_. The words gave Obi-Wan a cold shiver. _And what are you able to do, Anakin? What did he teach you? What did **you** do? _He forced himself to take a deep breath. Anakin was right: He was being irrational. He did not think like a Jedi should think. He had a mission, probably his most important mission ever. A mission to save not only a single planet but the whole galaxy from the Emperor's influence. He must not risk the failure of that mission just because he could not overcome his past. To fear one's past – that was very unbefitting of a Jedi. _Trust me, I know what he's able to do_. Anakin knew about the Emperor and the dark side – more than anyone else knew. And for once, it was good he did. They could use it as their advantage. Obi-Wan should be lucky he had such a good sparring partner. Practising with Master Yoda was great too but it would not help him much if he wanted to be able to stand a chance against the Emperor. Yoda had a very unusual fighting style – resulting from his height – which was nothing like the Emperor's.

"You are right", Obi-Wan agreed, though he did not like it at all. "It makes more sense if the two of us practise together. I'll just have to get a grip on myself. But… not today, ok?"

"Ok", Anakin agreed and finally, at long last, he left Obi-Wan in peace.

Sighing in relief, Obi-Wan leant back in his chair. The lightsaber attracted his gaze again, like a magnet. Anakin could not understand it. To him a lightsaber was nothing but a weapon, nothing but a means to an end. Obi-Wan had had to remind his Padawan more than once to be more careful with his lightsaber and not lose it again and again. Eventually, the lecture had imprinted in Anakin's mind but to him a lightsaber had never had the same meaning as to Obi-Wan or any other Jedi. And yet he had picked up Obi-Wan's lightsaber on Mustafar and had kept it. Why???

But Obi-Wan's "peace" rested not for long. A ripple in the Force which became soon waves of darkness startled him. Growing more and more uneasy, he grabbed his lightsaber and ran outside. The sight that greeted him made him suddenly feel very sick. Anakin was engaged in a fierce lightsaber duel against three senior Padawans. A forth Padawan lay motionless on the ground. Obi-Wan felt like the air was being drained out of him. He choked, stumbled and then he lunged forward, screaming at the top of his lungs. He did not really know what he was shouting but it was mostly "NO! No, no, no! Stop this!!!"

When hearing his voice, Anakin turned to look at him. The Padawans took advantage of his momentary distraction. A Nautolan girl took a well-aimed kick at his hand and sent his lightsaber flying. In an instant, the three of them wildly attacked Anakin. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion to Obi-Wan. He ran and ran but he never seemed to be fast enough. Next moment, the Nautolan girl was flying through the air and landed in a crumpled heap next to the other body. Another Padawan, a tall humanoid boy, suddenly grasped his neck, struggling for breath. Anakin used the Force to call his lightsaber back in his hand – just in time to parry the blow of the last Padawan standing. She was a small Mon Calamari and it was obvious she did not stand a chance against him. The boy, who had been choked, slowly got to his feet again, searched for his lightsaber, but before anything more could happen, Obi-Wan intervened. He blocked Anakin's next strike and used the Force to get the little girl out of Anakin's reach. Their blades locked, the energy between them humming loudly. Obi-Wan Force-pushed Anakin back. The red lightsaber rolled out of Anakin's hand when he hit the ground very hard.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Obi-Wan shrieked, unable to control his voice. There was a rushing in his ears and the ground beneath him seemed to be shaking. Anakin and the Padawans said something but it became one with the roaring in his ears. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" he choked again.

Anakin got back on his feet and went in the direction of the Padawans again.

"Don't you get near them!" Obi-Wan threatened, pointing his lightsaber at Anakin's chest.

"They are –", Anakin started to protest.

"STAY WHERE YOU ARE!!!"

Finally, Anakin stood still, gazing warily at the lightsaber which was directed towards his heart.

"Give me your lightsaber", Obi-Wan ordered.

"Obi-Wan, I swear to you, I didn't do anything! I didn't mean to hurt them, they attacked me, they –"

"I SAID GIVE ME YOUR LIGHTSABER!" Obi-Wan screamed, unable to focus clearly.

"Alright…" Anakin cautiously extended his lightsaber towards Obi-Wan, who seized it quickly and put it inside his cloak.

Not taking his eyes off Anakin, Obi-Wan turned to the Mon Calamari girl. "Get Master Yoda here! Quickly!" he ordered urgently. Nodding fervently, she hurried off. Then he turned to the humanoid boy. "Go away from here and tell everyone not to come here."

"Master Kenobi, what about the other two?" He indicated the two lifeless Padawans on the ground.

Obi-Wan's heart sank when his gaze rested on them. "Are they…?"

The boy went to check on them. "They are both unconscious, Master", he informed Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan let out a shaky breath of relief. "Good. Bring –"

"I told you I didn't want to hurt them", Anakin said defiantly. "I only defended myself. What else could I have done?"

"Shut up!" Obi-Wan said fiercely. He did not know what to believe anymore. Right now, his brain did not work well enough to sort this situation out. He was utterly relieved when he saw the Mon Calamari girl accompanied by Master Yoda coming towards them.

Master Yoda's ears shot up when he saw the scenery: Obi-Wan keeping Anakin under control with his lightsaber, and the two Padawans lying on the ground. "They're alive", Obi-Wan said quietly.

"Hmm…" Master Yoda hobbled to the two motionless Padawans, put his hands on their foreheads respectively, and soon they woke up again and sat up, groaning and rubbing their foreheads. Their gazes drifted immediately to Anakin and Obi-Wan. Master Yoda followed their gaze. "What happened?" he asked to no one in particular. When no one answered, Yoda lightly poked the Nautolan girl with his gimer stick. "What happened, you tell me."

"I…" She gazed helplessly at the other three Padawans. Finally, it was the small Mon Calamari who spoke up. "He killed our Masters. He's a murderer and doesn't deserve to be a Jedi again. We want justice."

"Hmm, justice you want, or revenge?" Yoda stared intently at her.

Tears glistened in the girl's silver eyes. "He killed so _many_!" she said defiantly. "How can you say this is revenge? How can you say we're the evil ones when _he _has killed so many _innocents_?!"

"Never I said evil you are", Yoda said gently. "Never I said to become a Jedi again he deserves. But if you kill him – bring back your dead Masters it will not."

The Mon Calamari girl turned away, her shoulders were shaking. The humanoid boy walked over to her and put a comforting arm around her shoulder. He angrily glared at Yoda, Obi-Wan and Anakin. "I understand it doesn't help anyone if we kill him. But how can you expect us to just ignore everything he did, to just watch him live next door and do nothing? We feel we're being mocked when he can happily live here with his family while he killed _our_ family!"

"You see, I don't ask to be a Jedi again", Anakin suddenly spoke up, "and I won't stay here for long. I will go and fight the Emperor in a few days and it's very likely I end up dead and then you're rid of me anyway. And in case I survive, I won't come back and bother you… Have you ever heard of Asajj Ventress?"

The four Padawans simply stared at Anakin, their eyes full of hate. No one said anything.

"Well…" Anakin said a tad uncertainly. "Anyway, she tortured my Master and I killed her because of that. So, um, what I wanted to say is that I understand that you're angry at me…" Smiling sadly, he cast his eyes down to the floor. "That's a bit of an understatement, I guess."

Yoda nodded gravely. "Padawans, with me, you come. Meditate on this together, we will. And by the way, switch off your lightsaber, you may, Master Kenobi."

Nodding weakly, Obi-Wan switched off the lightsaber which had been still directed at Anakin's heart. It was then that his knees were getting all shaky and wobbly, and he felt like his own legs could not support him any longer. Slowly, he knelt down on the ground and tried very hard to fight back the urge to vomit. For a moment he had thought… He knew he could never bear that again. It had broken him once and he could not endure it a second time.

Anakin coughed softly. "Um, is there anything –"

"Get out of reach, Anakin", Obi-Wan said urgently. "I think I'm going to – _uuurgh_." Before he could finish his warning, he started throwing up. He was coughing and retching madly, his sight was blurring more and more. But of course Anakin had never obeyed him and it was no different this time. Instead of getting out of reach, he walked over to Obi-Wan and put a steadying hand on his shoulder. Obi-Wan had to admit he was rather grateful for that because, being all shaky, he did not want to fall headfirst into his own puke.

"Just get it all out", Anakin advised him unnecessarily.

"It's a wonder there's still something inside –", Obi-Wan tried to reply but the next burps interrupted him.

"It doesn't really matter how much food you have inside your stomach", Anakin explained. "You can puke bile for hours."

"Thanks – you're helping – a lot", Obi-Wan gasped.

"I'm sure it will be over soon", Anakin said, rubbing Obi-Wan's back in a soothing way.

Fortunately, Anakin's prediction turned out to be true. After throwing up one more time, it was finally over. Obi-Wan wiped his sweaty brow with his sleeve, trying to collect his breath.

"Are you over with it?" Anakin asked hopefully.

"I – I think so", Obi-Wan muttered. The sour smell of his own puke got up his nose, making him feel sick again. "Let's get away from here. It's…disgusting."

"I agree."

Obi-Wan turned to look at Anakin. He was wrinkling his nose and his face had a slightly green tinge. Obi-Wan could not help but grin. "Well, now you know how I felt when you came home completely drunk from Coruscant's lower level bars."

"That happened once, Master", Anakin defended himself and pulled Obi-Wan up on his feet again. "Only _once_."

"And it was not your fault, I know, I know." Obi-Wan staggered a bit but he was already feeling much better now. Vomiting had somehow freed him a bit from all that had happened.

"You know, you just did a fine performance of a dignified Jedi Master", Anakin teased him.

"Well, it was…"

"Uncivilised."

Obi-Wan groaned and wiped his sweaty face again. "Yeah, I guess it was…"

The next day, Obi-Wan and Anakin did a bit of lightsaber practice again. But just a very little bit – nothing but the basic forms, and certainly not a real duel. Obi-Wan called the fake training a day very soon and afterwards he felt worse than before. The mission was approaching in a threateningly fast pace. Every time he thought about it (and he thought about it a lot!), he got a very bad feeling. A sense of foreboding. Helplessness. Master Yoda had told him to live in the Here and Now (Obi-Wan suspected it was Qui-Gon's influence…) and not to worry so much about the future. Beru had told him not to go on that mission at all because, after all, it was Anakin who had got himself into such a mess and thus he should have to carry the can for it alone. Luke was the only one who had really helped ease his mind when he had offered in a very sweet way to come with Obi-Wan and help him.

Obi-Wan wondered if it was his destiny. Or was it just Anakin's destiny and Obi-Wan foolishly went along? He knew he must follow the will of the Force but, although the Force was so pure on Uresi, he had sometimes problems understanding it. It was probably Anakin. His presence in the Force was so agitated and the waves of his turmoil were like a sandstorm, which disarranged the usually clear Force around Obi-Wan. Like now. Obi-Wan was lying in bed and could not sleep because of his nagging thoughts. The "sandstorm" was getting closer. Then there was a soft knock at his door. Sighing, Obi-Wan got up and opened the door.

"I sensed in the Force that you're awake too, otherwise I wouldn't have come", Anakin said immediately as if he had to apologise. Obi-Wan scrutinised him. Anakin looked bleary-eyed, he had dark circles around his eyes and his face was gaunt. "May I come in?" he asked uncertainly.

"Sure." Obi-Wan stepped aside in order to let Anakin enter the room and closed the door behind him. Anakin stood in the middle of the room, looking thoroughly lost.

"Sit down", Obi-Wan muttered and sat down on his bed. Self-consciously, Anakin sat down in one of the wooden chairs. Obi-Wan waited patiently for Anakin to come out with whatever it was that had made him come here in the middle of the night. But when after several minutes he still did not show any signs of talking, Obi-Wan took the initiative.

"Did you have a nightmare? Or a vision?"

"No, I didn't dream anything… I couldn't sleep."

Obi-Wan waited for more to come but nothing did come. "I couldn't sleep either", he finally said. "I have to admit I always worry about our upcoming mission. Do you worry about it too?"

"No, it's more like… I worry more about the past than the future." Anakin avoided looking at Obi-Wan the whole time.

"Well, that makes us a nice team", Obi-Wan tried to ease the situation. "I'm already in the future and you're still in the past. There's probably really a reason to worry."

The corners of Anakin's mouth lifted a tiny bit – a weak attempt of a grin – while he kept staring down at the floor.

Obi-Wan reasoned it had not been a very sympathetic thing to say to Anakin. Telling him to leave his past behind certainly did not help him much. "Do you want to talk about it?" Obi-Wan asked cautiously. Anakin shook his head. "You look tense. Maybe you should try some meditation again. If you want, I can help you."

"Yes… Tomorrow. Maybe."

"Ok." Obi-Wan could not think of something else to say anymore and so he asked, "Would you like something to drink?"

"Um, yes."

Glad that Anakin finally responded to one of his suggestions, Obi-Wan poured him a glass of water.

"Thanks." Anakin took the glass, drank a little bit and put it down again. Abruptly he got up. "Sorry for bothering you, Obi-Wan, I... I'm going now."

Obi-Wan jumped up too. "You didn't bother me, not at all", he assured him quickly.

Anakin smiled thinly. "Thanks for, um, allowing me to stay. Goodnight." He turned to leave.

Obi-Wan caught up with him in the doorframe. "Anakin, what's wrong with you?" he asked urgently.

"I'm okay." Anakin briefly looked at Obi-Wan. "Really, I'm...okay."

"Anakin, if there's anything...if there's anything wrong or anything you want to talk about, you can always come to me", Obi-Wan said gently.

"Yes, I know", Anakin replied but he still did not look at Obi-Wan. "Alright then... Goodnight, Obi-Wan."

"Goodnight." Obi-Wan regretfully watched Anakin leave. He had an uneasy feeling he could not help Anakin. He was afraid of failing again. He never wanted to lose Anakin again.

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**I'm afraid there will be no (or only very, very few) updates during the following weeks. It's my holidays and I'll be away for some time... But I promise I'll finish this story as soon as I'm back. There are still six chapters and an epilogue to come. I hope you will be patient and wait and read the end :) **


	41. Meditation

**Finally an update… Sorry that took so long but then there were computer problems and I got delayed some more weeks… I'll try to finish this story quickly and I hope everyone's still there reading this! Thanks to amthyst-fire, Jedi Knight 13, Anaya (thanks for even three reviews, lol, but I know that problem with writing three, 3, III…****), Argon, Lily Dragon (happy belated birthday… funny you mention Leia…ahem), Sentrosi and Wawoot (it's great that you have caught up now too!) for reviewing the last chapter! **

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Anakin strolled around aimlessly. He did not know where he wanted to go. He did not know _what_ he _wanted_. When his dark thoughts had once again threatened to suffocate him, when panic had overwhelmed him and he had thought he would go mad, he had run to Obi-Wan. He had hoped Obi-Wan's presence – his calming aura in the Force – would soothe his agitated thoughts. Most of all he had sought human closeness. He feared loneliness. But obviously, Obi-Wan felt disturbed by Anakin's presence – or at least he had felt uneasy and had thought he had to do something, anything. Whereas Anakin had only wanted to sit there and remain silent. And then everything had come crashing down: Obi-Wan's questions, his scrutinising glances, the narrowness of the room – Anakin had not been able to endure it in there any longer.

Anakin did not know what he wanted and he did not know _if_ he wanted anything at all. He did not have a future any longer. There was no way he could stay here with the other Jedi. The Padawans had shown him very clearly they did not want him there. And even if they accepted him there, he was not sure he would be able to live with them, each of them reminding him of what he had done. He did not want to live with his guilty conscience and with his dark thoughts any longer.

Anakin paused at Luke's door. It was slightly ajar. Very quietly, Anakin opened the door so he could catch a glimpse on the sleeping boy. There was not much to be seen because he had crawled under his blanket. Only a blond shock of hair poked out. The blanket raised and sank slightly and involuntarily Anakin joined in that slow and steady breathing. Luke lay there so peaceful and relaxed that Anakin could not help calming down as well. Yes, Luke was worth staying alive for.

I hope you're dreaming something nice, my son. I had a lot of bad dreams. I hope yours are better. I hope you will be a better person than me.

In the Force, Anakin felt Obi-Wan approaching. Obi-Wan stood behind him and for a few minutes, they both silently watched Luke sleep. Then Obi-Wan leant forward and whispered in Anakin's ear, "There's something I forgot to tell you. It's a bit complicated. Well, here."

He handed Anakin a holograph. It showed a little family: A mother, a father and a little girl. The three of them beamed happily into the camera. Anakin looked more closely and recognised the father as Bail Organa. He gulped. He understood perfectly.

He had killed them.

The mother and the child. He had destroyed a happy little family and now he pretended he could just live a good life with his son as if nothing had happened. He had done all of it to save Padmé's life, to save his family. But in doing so, he had destroyed many other families. Certainly, Bail Organa loved his wife just as much as Anakin had loved Padmé. Certainly, he loved his child just as much as Anakin loved Luke.

"I-I k-killed them, didn't I?" he stuttered, terrified. "I killed them and so many others! And – and I don't _deserve_ a good life with Luke, right?" He was really panicking now. "Right? I don't –"

"Anakin, will you calm down." Obi-Wan put a hand on his arm and pulled him away from Luke's room. "You're going to wake him up with your turmoil."

"I killed them, didn't I?" Horrified, Anakin stared at Obi-Wan.

"You're jumping to conclusions", Obi-Wan tried to calm him down. "You didn't kill anyone..." Obi-Wan stopped. There was an awkward pause. "Well, you... didn't kill them", he finished uncomfortably.

"Okay, I didn't kill them but... you gave it to me in order to show me what I have done, didn't you?" Anakin said miserably. "You wanted me to understand that I have destroyed many lives and –"

"No, Anakin, please, it's not like that at all", Obi-Wan protested. "I just gave it to you because the girl on the picture is... oh, how am I going to say this? She is... erm, she is your... daughter."

"Wha – what?!?"

"Shush."

In his shock, Anakin hit his elbow against the wall. It took him some effort to suppress the cry of pain. He had a _daughter_? But that was _impossible_! Completely impossible. He turned to Obi-Wan and whispered, "It must be a misunderstanding. There was no other woman than Padmé. Never."

"You got that wrong. She is Padmé's child as well. She is Luke's twin sister."

Anakin's jaw dropped.

Twin sister.

The word – and the meaning of it – slowly found the way in his head.

Twin sister, twin sister, twin sister.

It was unbelievable! He had yet another child! He looked at the holograph again. The little girl was perhaps three years old, her dark brown hair was in a ponytail and she had big brown eyes. She was grinning broadly. Anakin smiled shakily back at the holograph.

"What is her name? Leia?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes", Obi-Wan confirmed. "You chose the name?"

"Yes. We chose the names together. Luke if it was a boy, Leia if it was a girl." Anakin chuckled but it came out more like a sob. "I always knew our child would be a girl. Padmé was convinced it would be a boy."

"It looks like both of you were right", Obi-Wan commented amicably. "Let's go outside and talk there so we won't wake up Luke."

"Okay." They silently went outside. In his mind, Anakin was cheering, singing and dancing. _We have a daughter, Padmé! We have two children! A girl and a boy! Twins! Luke and Leia!_ It was the first time he thought Padmé's name and did not feel that paralysing horror. He walked in silence at Obi-Wan's side. The earth under his feet was sandy and rocky. It was a bright night because two of Uresi's three moons were full. The lakes between the rocks were black and quiet like mirrors in which the full moons were reflected. Far and wide, there was no sound to be heard. Perfect silence. Peace. _Padmé, we have a daughter!!! I am the father of two children, two wonderful children! I can't wait to see Leia! I wonder if she's like you? She certainly has your eyes. Wait a moment –_

Anakin stopped dead. Obi-Wan noticed a few steps later Anakin did not follow anymore, and stopped too. A questioning look on his face, he turned to Anakin.

"Why were they separated? Does Leia live with the Organas? Why didn't she grow up on Tatooine with Luke?" Anakin assailed him with questions.

"We had to separate them", Obi-Wan said apologetically. "Like that, it was – and it is – more difficult for the Emperor to sense their presence. I am sorry the two of them couldn't get to know each other but we thought their wellbeing was more important."

Although Obi-Wan did not mention it, Anakin understood they had hidden his children not only from the Emperor but also from him_. I would have liked to give Luke to Anakin Skywalker but I have to protect him from Darth Vader._ That was what Obi-Wan had told him. But what if Obi-Wan had given Luke to him, and Anakin had brought Luke to the Emperor as instructed? At the thought what the Emperor would have done to Luke, Anakin shuddered. Either he would have used Luke as a means of blackmail, he would have tortured the little boy and thus could have forced Anakin to do certain things; or he would have eliminated Anakin and made Luke his new apprentice: A tool to serve evilness, a will-less servant, an unscrupulous, cruel murderer. Instead, Obi-Wan and Beru (and earlier Owen too) had raised Luke, had protected him with their lives, had given love to him, had taught him values and made him a _good_ person. Full of gratefulness, Anakin looked at his former Master. "I'm glad you hid them so well. And I'm glad, too, that you didn't give Luke to me when I came to Tatooine to fetch him. Otherwise, terrible things would have happened to him."

Obi-Wan nodded briefly. "Concerning your earlier question: the Organas adopted Leia. Bail Organa warned Master Yoda and me not to go back to the Temple and he was there when the twins were born. He and his wife had always wanted a little girl, and I'm sure Leia has a good life at the Alderaanian Court."

"Yes, Alderaan is a nice planet. And Bail Organa..." Anakin remembered very well that the Senator had spoken in favour of him when he had been humiliated by the rebels. "He's a good man." Anakin grinned a little bit. "I just hope he doesn't spoil Leia too much."

"Yoda informed him that you have returned to the Jedi. He kind of keeps the rebels away from here. And he is prepared for you to show up on Alderaan one day."

"Yes", Anakin said thoughtfully. "I'd very much like to meet Leia. That is... after we have completed our mission." _And if we are still alive then_, he added in thought. "Master, I'd like to accept your offer and do a bit of meditation now. I could really use it now. So, um, would you help me...?"

"Sure. Let's get down to that lake. That looks like a good place to meditate." They sat down next to each other on the stones at the bank of one of the bigger lakes. "Okay. What exactly is your problem?" Obi-Wan asked.

Anakin sighed softly. "The very beginning. I can't even clear my mind and quieten it. Well, and then –"

"Oh, let me have a guess: Then you're impatient and move on a step forward and then things go _really_ wrong."

Grinning sheepishly, Anakin shrugged. "It's much like that."

"Very well then. Let's try to do it together at first."

Jedi students learned meditation like that. An experienced Jedi Master took them by the hand (in a figurative sense) and led them through the Force so they did not get lost. It was a bit embarrassing that, at the age of 27, Anakin still needed someone to guide him. But he was curious as well. He had never meditated together with Obi-Wan like that, it had been Qui-Gon who had taught him his first meditation lessons.

"Are you ready?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Yes."

"Alright then. Close your eyes. And now breathe in deeply."

Anakin took a deep breath and his lungs were filled with the clear, aromatic night air.

"And breathe out."

Anakin let go of the breath he had been holding and thus let go of a part of his conscious self.

"Breathe in. And out. In. Out..."

His chest raised und sank steadily. His breathing was calm and deep.

"And now check if the rest of your body is just as relaxed as your breathing", Obi-Wan instructed him. "Your heartbeat is still too fast. Are your arms and legs relaxed?"

Anakin checked his legs. There were still some dark, cramped places. Gently, he directed the Force's bright flow there and washed them away. It was more difficult to do it with his arms. From the elbow to his hands, everything was dark. There was no Force there.

"The Force can flow in mechanical hands as well", Obi-Wan said. "Nothing prevents it from being there but your own imagination."

Anakin had difficulties in accepting his hands as a part of himself, and he felt reluctant to the idea of directing the Force through those artificial attachments.

"The Force is everywhere", Obi-Wan said.

He could not read Anakin's mind, could he?!

"Not everything", Obi-Wan said, slightly amused. "But right now, your thoughts are very obvious."

Slightly shocked, Anakin hid his emotions immediately. Had he been thinking something Obi-Wan must not know?

"Anakin, relax", Obi-Wan said in a calming voice. "I will not spy. I will not look at things you don't show me. You can direct your meditation yourself. You can have your shields up. That's no problem. Hide what you don't want me to see. You can release it later when you meditate on your own. But for now, relax. You're cramped again everywhere. Breathe in deeply."

Anakin did as he was told. Slowly, his relaxation returned but this time he was more careful to control his thoughts.

"Okay. And now let the Force flow through your arms. It's natural, you just need to accept it."

It was not natural at all. It was no human arms. It was _artificial_ arms. Anakin's real arms did not exist anymore. Then he sensed Obi-Wan grab his left hand. A powerful Force stab rushed from Obi-Wan's hand towards Anakin's hand and through his arm inside his body. You could call it a slap in the Force. It was pretty impressive, actually. Anakin winced. "Alright, alright, I got it..." he muttered, and now he really put an effort in letting the Force flow through his arms.

"These are your hands now", Obi-Wan inculcated patiently. "The other ones have already mouldered or... burned. They are nothing now but empty shells. But these prosthesis belong to your body now. Try to integrate them instead of rejecting them."

"That's easier said than done, Master."

"I can imagine that." Obi-Wan briefly squeezed his hand and then let go of it. "Luke obviously likes your hands."

"_Likes_ is a bit of an exaggeration."

"Alright then. He things they're _wizard_ or whatever. You aren't concentrating anymore again."

Anakin groaned in agony. He felt like the young Padawan again in whom Obi-Wan _always_ found fault. It was like one of those endlessly boring lectures Obi-Wan had made him repeat again and again, and had never been satisfied with.

"And I'm trying to help you and not to annoy you with lectures", Obi-Wan put things right immediately.

Somehow, Anakin had the feeling Obi_-_Wan could still read his mind. So he concentrated really hard now, hid his thoughts from Obi-Wan, forced himself to be calm again and sent the Force flowing through his arms.

"Now, that's much better", Obi-Wan said, satisfied. "And now let go of everything. Be free. Just listen to the Force."

"Yes", Anakin whispered. He breathed deeply and felt the Force in him. Now he had to clear his mind. Not thinking anymore. Just stop thinking. Only breathing and not thinking, no more suffering, no more fears, no more nightmares that haunted him.

Every single Jedi, including your friend Obi-Wan Kenobi, is now an enemy of the Republic. Do what must be done, Lord Vader. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy. Only then will you be strong enough with the dark side to save Padmé.  
Yes, my Master.

Again, the memories invaded Anakin with merciless power. He tried to defend himself against them but it was getting worse and worse. He had to clear his mind. Keep on breathing.

In. Out. In. Out.

His breathing was increasing. He saw himself again on his way to the Jedi Temple. Heard himself giving orders to the clones. "Surround the Temple. Guard every entrance. Kill everyone who tries to get out." Again, he entered the Temple. No one stopped him. Some greeted him. He did not reply to their greetings. Again, he placed the detonator in a room below the Council Chambers. Activated it. He left the Temple. No one stopped him. He waited, forcing his thoughts to Padmé for whom he did this. Then he heard the explosion, saw the smoke rising. Screams. Blaster fire. A Jedi Knight tried to save three younglings from the flames. She defended the little children with her life, blocked blaster fire with her green lightsaber, killed one, two, three clones, but than a shoot hit her head. She staggered. The clones kept shooting at her, blaster fire frayed out her chest. When she collapsed, the three children stood there defenceless. They wanted to flee but the clones fired at them relentlessly. They keeled over in a row like dominos. A girl still twitched slightly, another shoot and it was over.

"_Damn it_!" Anakin could not bear it any longer. He blinked his eyes open and tried to shake the memories off. His breathing was fast and heavy. "Damn it", he muttered again.

"You concentrated too much on your negative emotions", Obi-Wan reprimanded him. "You have to let go."

"I'm trying!" Anakin replied angrily.

"I know. But you do it the wrong way. Don't fight against it."

Hopelessly, Anakin shook his head. Obi-Wan did not understand in the slightest bit what happened in Anakin's head. For Obi-Wan, it was easy to say, 'You have to let go'. Angrily, Anakin turned to Obi-Wan. Was it only the full moons' light that made his face look so pale? "What have you seen?" Anakin asked, almost frightened.

"Not much. Only some incoherent thoughts and emotions."

Anakin was relieved but all the same, he realised he was being unfair. Obi-Wan wanted to help him and he really could not know what happened in Anakin's head. "I'm sorry, Master", Anakin said, subdued.

"What for?"

"For being so impudent instead of appreciating your help." Anakin stared at the lake's quiet, black surface. It had always been like that. He had assessed Obi-Wan's criticism as an attack, had been indignant like a little child and had not understood Obi-Wan wanted to help him to move on and improve himself. It was over now. One more chance thrown away.

"Your problem is that you can't let go", Obi-Wan said calmly. "But that's exactly what you have to do if you want to meditate properly. It is mostly a question of trust. You just have to accept you cannot always be in control of everything and you must allow the Force to guide you. Remember: The Force is not a tool –"

"But we are tools of the Force", Anakin finished. "I know." That was one of the endlessly boring lectures Obi-Wan had made him repeat again and again. Promptly, Anakin realised he was doing it again: being impatient, cheeky and ungrateful. Embarrassed, he threw Obi-Wan a side glance. He was greatly relieved to see a little smile playing at the corners of Obi-Wan's lips. "Sorry for interrupting you", Anakin apologised again and felt extremely stupid. "Is there anything more you wanted to say?"

"Is there anything _you_ would like to say? I know you know the lectures by heart. I have the feeling it would be more helpful if you told me why you stopped your meditation so abruptly."

"Every time I try to clear my mind, the bad memories surface. It is as if they have more room to spread then", Anakin said honestly. "I can't change it. It's like swimming against a strong current. It grabs me and takes me with it."

"Why don't you allow it to take you with it? What could happen to you?"

His throat tight, Anakin stared down at his fingers. "I fear what I'm going to see when I let my thoughts run wild", Anakin admitted.

"Ah." Obi-Wan was silent for some time. "You are a whole person, Anakin", he said finally. "You cannot factor out a part of your past. You have to accept it, even if it hurts."

"I don't think I can do that", Anakin said miserably.

"We'll just try it again."

Anakin did not feel like trying again – and he lacked the courage – but Obi-Wan had already closed his eyes again and he certainly expected Anakin to follow his lead. Without any hope of success, Anakin closed his eyes again as well and concentrated. With the patience of a saint, Obi-Wan started from the very first step anew. Calm your breathing, relax your body, feel the Force.

"Can you feel the earth you're sitting at?" Obi-Wan's voice reached Anakin's ears as if it came from a wide distance. Anakin directed his thoughts to the cool surface of the rocks. He sensed every little crack in them and he could picture their structure in his mind. "Yes, I can feel it", he answered.

"Can you also feel the air on your skin and in your lungs?"

Anakin sensed the air on his cheeks. It was cool but soft. The air was perfectly calm. There was not the slightest breeze. Nearer to the earth, it was slightly warmer. He felt the oxygen he breathed in run through his lungs, then into his blood, refreshing his whole body. "Yes, it's there."

"And what about the lake in front of us?"

Cautiously, Anakin felt his way. Now he noticed the lake's surface was not completely still. There were some spots where the water rippled. At the very bottom of the lake where the water was the coldest, he sensed life. Nocturnal, little fish. The water was linked with the rocks. It had formed them through the millennia.

"Can you sense me sitting next to you?"

Immediately, Anakin sensed the well-known presence in the Force. Obi-Wan was completely relaxed, connected with the Living Force around him. It all belonged together: the rocks, the water, the air, the living beings. With an awestruck amazement Anakin sensed the Force's greatness, like the first time Qui-Gon had given him some insight into the Force. And he saw as well that he would never be able to fully understand the Force – maybe a little part of it but it would always stay a mystery. He sensed the bond between him and Obi-Wan, which was still there, in spite of everything. It was fragile and shattered but it was still there. The knowledge of that made him happy and he sent that thought to Obi-Wan via their bond. Promptly, he received an answer: Obi-Wan felt the same. And that was even better because Anakin could still feel some of the other feelings inside Obi-Wan – pain, regret and grief. But these feelings were only dimmed as Obi-Wan hid most of it from Anakin._ It is mostly a question of trust_. Had Obi-Wan meant also something else when he had spoken about meditation and trust in the Force? Wasn't that how everything had started? Anakin had felt that the Jedi did not trust him anymore and so he had not trusted them either. Obi-Wan had given him the greatest possible sign of confidence when he had opened his mind and had let Anakin in. He had shown his innermost, most secret emotions and his soft spots to Anakin. Anakin had done nothing to earn that trust and he had never repaid it either. How could Obi-Wan help him when he could not know what Anakin feared? Anakin had never shown him. And it was obvious why he did not accept help from Anakin – because he had no idea if Anakin was trustworthy. When Obi-Wan had brought him here to Luke and the other Jedi, he had put much trust in Anakin. Had Anakin proven him right yet? No.

It was obvious what had to be done. Anakin simply had to stop shielding and show Obi-Wan everything – just as Obi-Wan had done. But it was not as easy as that. _He's going to hate me once he sees what I have done. _Immediately, Anakin built up new protective barriers around himself so Obi-Wan did not notice anything of this. _He already knows how many Jedi I killed and yet he brought me back. _Anakin still could not do it. Probably Obi-Wan had not envisioned exactly what Anakin had done. Sure, he certainly did not want to know the exact details – otherwise he could not be answerable to the Jedi Order for letting Anakin alive. _Well, he certainly knows enough reasons to justify killing me. But he didn't. Hm. _Anakin grinned slightly. _So Obi-Wan Kenobi went against the Jedi Code for the first time. Or he interpreted it more widely just as Qui-Gon used to do… In any case, he did it for me. _Anakin took a deep breath. Alright, he was going to show Obi-Wan a part of him. Naturally, there were some things which he just could not show Obi-Wan, things he'd better hide. Unfortunately, there were quite a lot of such things… _You are a whole person, Anakin. You cannot factor out a part of your past. _Anakin did not want to live a lie any longer. Obi-Wan would know if Anakin kept hiding certain things from him. Anakin did not want their friendship to be built on such a lie. Could he endure hiding these things from Obi-Wan forever, keeping it all bottled up? And what if it was revealed some day? No, Anakin had to decide now. Either he opened himself up completely or not at all. All or nothing. Do or do not.

He did not really have much of a choice. Obi-Wan deserved to know everything, even if he might end up hating Anakin for it. Better now than later. Better clarity than ever-present fear things might be revealed one day. And still, Anakin hesitated. Because it was not only Obi-Wan whom he had to show everything – he also had to show himself. There were things which he hid from even himself, things which were at the very back of his mind, things which he was afraid of admitting to himself. _Will you pull yourself together! _he scolded himself. _Come on now. It's now or never! _And with a tremendous effort, he tore down all the barriers and shields around him and set all his emotions free.

Finally free.

There was a rushing in his head and it was as if the Force around him was electrified. It hissed and crackled. Suddenly he heard a cry of shock from Obi-Wan and all of a sudden the bond between them was severed and Anakin was brutally thrown out of his meditation and his link to the Force. The barriers and shields rebounded like a tensed elastic band which you had released. Anakin felt as if someone had smashed a board against his head, as if he had fallen into a depth of thousand metres and had crashed headfirst in an ice sea. He thought his head should explode any minute now. A glance in Obi-Wan's direction told him that Obi-Wan probably felt much the same: He furiously rubbed his temples as if he needed to get rid of a bad headache. When he noticed Anakin's glance, he said, "That was a bit… unexpected. You'd better inform me first the next time you plan to do something like that."

Slowly realising what had happened, Anakin was stunned once more. Obi-Wan had rejected him. The moment Anakin had opened up himself, Obi-Wan had disrupted their connection, throwing both of them violently out of their meditation. Anakin felt dizzy. He had wanted to show Obi-Wan everything but Obi-Wan did not want anything from him. Disappointed, he turned away.

"Anakin? Are you okay?" There was concern in Obi-Wan's voice.

"Sure. What should be wrong with me?" Anakin was already shielding again, his shields were up higher than ever, but he still could not ban the disappointment and the accusation from his voice.

"Well, you look pretty rough", Obi-Wan explained. "And I suppose your head feels much like mine or even worse. Stopping your meditation so abruptly is not recommendable."

"Then why did you do it?" Anakin challenged him.

Obi-Wan gave him a surprised look. "Didn't you notice anything? You kind of let off an explosion. Both of us would have gone completely insane or we would have got lost anywhere in the Force."

"I didn't intend to do that", Anakin said, slightly pacified.

"Of course you didn't. You were just being impatient again and trying to do everything at once. You enforced it. You cannot cope with so many…raw emotions, _extreme _emotions all at once. Something like that needs much time. You'll need to do it bit by bit. Learn patience."

Staring down, Anakin nodded. A lecture, a lecture once again, which, once again, criticised him for being impatient. He knew Obi-Wan meant well but a lecture was the last thing he needed right now. Obi-Wan did not understand anything. He had no idea how much of an effort it had cost Anakin to finally open up and face what he had done. Anakin could not do it slowly _bit by bit_. He had had to force it all out because he knew he would never be able to summon up the courage again. And now he would definitely not do it again because his trust had been badly disappointed. He got on his feet and said curtly, "I feel pretty exhausted. I think I should better go to bed now." He walked away but Obi-Wan called him back.

"Wait!"

With a desperate hope things could still turn out well somehow, Anakin stopped. "Yes?"

"Don't do that again, okay?"

"Why not?" Anakin tried to sound only mildly interested but it came out more like a defiant child.

"It's dangerous and… well, normally people do not do such things."

Anakin grimaced. That was certainly the most senseless thing Obi-Wan could say. Anakin had never cared much what _people_ _normally _did.

It seemed Obi-Wan had realised that too because he grinned slightly and said, "I guess that was a weak argument."

"Yes."

"Why did you do it anyway?" Anakin just shrugged. "Anakin, I do not demand that from you", Obi-Wan said gently. "That is – of course I cannot _demand_ it at all", he quickly corrected himself. "But I didn't expect it. I know to appreciate what you did but I never expected or hoped you'd do it."

"You let me into your mind", Anakin said stubbornly.

"But I didn't have another choice", Obi-Wan put things right. "I just did it to survive. I would have never let you into my mind voluntarily. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have let anyone in there. That's just such an intimate thing. I think everyone has feelings and thoughts which are only for oneself."

"But I wanted you to see them", Anakin insisted angrily. "I do trust you!"

"I feel honoured by your trust", Obi-Wan said quietly.

Anakin could not detect a hint of irony in Obi-Wan's voice. He seemed to be really serious about it and that calmed Anakin down at last. "I was stupid when I didn't trust you and went to Palpatine instead." He felt he should say it because Obi-Wan had seemed really aggrieved by that when Anakin had told him last night.

"Hm… I have thought about that too and I'm afraid it was partly my fault things turned out as they did. I didn't give you much of a reason to trust me."

Obi-Wan's confession was unexpected to Anakin. "My trust in you and the Jedi was shaken when I was asked to spy on the Chancellor." Anakin heaved a deep sigh. "And you were right to ask that from me. I was so damn blind!"

"All of us were. Palpatine knew very well how to disguise his true self. He was so good at it that even Master Yoda could not sense it."

"He's so strong", Anakin said downheartedly. "He has such power in the dark side. I don't want to use the dark side again but if we only rely on the light side of the Force we do not stand the slightest chance against him. Is that what the prophecy is about? Do I have to succumb to the dark side in order to be strong enough?"

"I'm afraid the odds that we defeat him are really low", Obi-Wan admitted. "The dark side is strong indeed. But in the long run it is weak because there is nothing on which it can rely. Maybe Sidious is going to train a new apprentice. Maybe the rule of the Sith is still going to last for centuries. But at some point it will be over, I'm certain of that. Perhaps it is our destiny to end it. _Your_ destiny as the Chosen One who is to bring balance to the Force. But I don't think that you should rely so much on prophecy. The future is always in motion, right? And don't rely on the dark side either. You must do what you feel is right and I'm sure the Force will tell you what to do. And apart from how low the odds are – we would still go, wouldn't we? After all, it's not the first time we go against all odds, is it? We will go because we believe – because we _know_ – that there's still something good in this galaxy which is worth fighting for. And this is our advantage: He only fights for expanding his own power but we know that there is more. If we fail, then maybe some of the kids Master Yoda trains will succeed many years later. Or your children. Who knows…"

Anakin had seldom heard such passionate talk from Obi-Wan. He seemed so convinced of what he said. Anakin wished he could say the same of himself. He really admired Obi-Wan, who, after all that had happened, still believed so strongly in good. Anakin felt terribly weak in comparison. "I really don't understand why _I _am the Chosen One", he said in frustration. "Why couldn't the Force choose someone like you? I mean, you're much stronger and wiser than me…"

"Oh well, let's not forget how often you have already saved my life."

"Yes, I know, I have great abilities and I'm a superb swordsman and so on. But true strength is not about the Midi-Chlorians concentration, is it?"

Obi-Wan smiled warmly at him. "There you are, sometimes even you say wise things."

"There's a great difference between saying wise things and actually _being_ wise", Anakin protested.

"Yes, yes, very wise", Obi-Wan said lightly. "And besides, great abilities aren't that bad either. Without your abilities, both of us would have already died several times." Anakin was just about to contradict but Obi-Wan quickly went on, "Let's agree to this: Nobody is perfect. Everyone has different weaknesses and strengths. And that's why we work best if we work as a team."

"Okay." Anakin had already forgotten what he had wanted to say. "That means… we're still a team?"

"_The_ team."

Anakin smiled gratefully. If Obi-Wan knew how much it meant to him…

"Why don't you sit down again?" Obi-Wan indicated the place next to him.

"Oh. Yes, sure. But I don't feel like meditating anymore."

"To be honest, I don't feel like meditating anymore either. I'd just like to… ask you a question."

"Alright." Anakin sat down on the ground and expectantly looked at Obi-Wan.

* * *

**T****o be continued… Soon. Very soon.**

**Who will be so nice to write the 200****th**** review? I've already 199 ;-) **


	42. Many Questions

**At first, I'd like to do some advertisement: I sknow some of you have already read it but to everyone else: I have posted a new fanfic here called "Servants of the Force". Naturally, it's about Anakin and Obi-Wan again but this time they are the same age and grew up in the Temple together. So, very AU... Feel free to check it out :D**

**As I see it, this story has been put into c2s. I don't really know what it means. Could anyone enlighten me? I guess it's something nice ;-)**

**Thanks for reviewing!**

Lord of the Dull: **You see, I took you at your word and posted a new fanfic ;-) Thanks a lot for the lovely compliment!**

nature kid: **After this chapter, there will be four more chapters and an epilogue. Anakin-Luke-interaction is not in this chapter yet, but it will be in the next one, I promise.**

amthyst-fire: **It's good to know you're still reading this. I'll try to catch up on "Yoda's shadow" during the next days... I really missed writing and reading fanfiction ;-)**

Jedi Knight 13: **I'm glad you liked the meditation. When I typed it, I was a bit worried about it because I thought such long meditation could be boring... But it was about the little things and so I didn't want to shorten it :)**

Lily Dragon: **Here's your update - quick enough ;-) Will Obi-Wan eventually see Anakin's memories and emotions? Hmm... For the moment, it was just important that Anakin was _willing_ to show him. **

Sentrosi: **Good you reminded me of Wawoot's and amthyst's stories - I'll need to catch up on them during the next days :) And good luck with your exams!!!**

Anaya: **Ah yes, things are definitely getting better for Anakin and Obi-Wan, aren't they? It's good you still remember the incident when Qui-Gon hit Anakin. Hmm... Hmm... ;-)**

* * *

As Anakin had been ready to let Obi-Wan inside his mind, he should be ready to answer Obi-Wan's question truthfully. "Why did you take my lightsaber with you on Mustafar?"

Anakin seemed slightly surprised by that question but he quickly regained his composure and shrugged casually. "You see, as my lightsaber had fallen into the lava, I took yours. I had to suppose you'd come back with new weapons and reinforcements."

"That much is clear. But some time later, you got a new, a red lightsaber, didn't you? And you still kept mine. Why?"

Embarrassed, Anakin briefly laughed. "Some stupid feeling of sentimentality, I guess."

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows. "Stupid feeling of sentimentality?" he repeated.

"Honestly, I myself don't even really know why I kept it. Of course I did not intend to give it back to you. Or… maybe I did… oh, I really don't know what I was thinking. Somehow I was reluctant to just throw it away. I mean, it's a lightsaber, isn't it?" Anakin grinned sheepishly and stared down.

"I'm not sure I understand your reasoning…hmm. Anyway, thanks for keeping it. Thank you very much, Anakin."

"You're a bit odd lately," Anakin remarked. "One day, you absolutely don't want to fight with a lightsaber and now you're so glad you have it back…"

_I'm not glad because I have my lightsaber back. I'm glad __because __**you**_ _are back. And I'm glad you kept my lightsaber for me. Even though you never came to understand it, you knew I was always very careful with my lightsaber, didn't you?_ Obi-Wan thoughtfully watched Anakin. The latter seemed to feel slightly uneasy by the silent glances.

"I've answered your question," Anakin said. "Can I ask you a question now?"

"Sure."

"I've been wondering for some time now. Well, I've been puzzling about it for four years and I just can't think of a good explanation. Why did you flee on Mustafar?"

Something in Obi-Wan's chest contracted. Anakin had the gift to always touch Obi-Wan's sore spots. Obi-Wan took a very deep breath. How could you explain such a thing? "The Emperor's shuttle was arriving. I had to save Padmé." He sighed softly. His glance rested on Anakin's mechanical hands. _I should tell him the whole truth. He was honest too, after all. _"Do you remember when we were on Ilum for the first time?"

"Yes," Anakin answered slowly, "I do."

"I had a vision of Mustafar there. But I didn't realise until I… well, until I cut off your arm."

They both looked at Anakin's left arm. Anakin was the first one to look up again. "So…? I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean to say."

Obi-Wan forced a smile. "The vision showed me what would happen if I failed. I had sworn to myself I'd never let it come to that. So when I suddenly realised where I was and what was happening…I was like…I couldn't think properly and I was just so shocked and I did not really know what I was doing. In my vision I also cut off both your legs." Obi-Wan shuddered involuntarily. "And then I left you there to die. I think it was an instinct that I ran away because I thought thus I could prevent it from becoming reality."

Anakin stared at his legs. His mind seemed to be somewhere entirely else. "Master," he said quietly and flatly, "the vision I saw on Ilum showed me murdering you. Back then I couldn't understand why I'd want to kill you. I saw myself as a dark creature, driven by hate. Now I understand I saw my future as a Sith. The vision is still in the future, I remember you looked much older than now. That means it can still happen. Right now, I could swear I'd never kill you but that's what I thought as a little boy too. The vision could still come true." Finally, Anakin lifted his gaze. He looked Obi-Wan right in the eye, and Obi-Wan felt cold dread fill him. He saw Anakin's face which looked very pale in the moonlight, the yellow eyes, and he could feel the darkness which still surrounded Anakin like a poisonous cloud. It could very well happen that this vision, too, would become reality. Until now, Obi-Wan had always thought Anakin had had a vision of Mustafar too – only with a different outcome of the fight. Learning of the nature of Anakin's vision was, admittedly, frightening. But what was he to do against it? Anakin and he could barricade themselves respectively on different planets on opposite ends of the galaxy. But that was ridiculous. If it was the will of the Force that Anakin killed Obi-Wan, hiding away could not help either. Besides, Obi-Wan did not feel like barricading himself. "Let's just live in the present," he said and disengaged from Anakin's almost hypnotising glance.

"You mean we just pretend as if I'd never had that vision?"

"Yes. Is there another option? To me, there is not."

"Master… All the visions I had so far of someone dying have come true!!! My mother, Padmé…"

"But you cannot change it if it is the will of the Force. Don't fight against it – you've seen what happened when you fought against the vision of Padmé's death."

Subdued, Anakin remained silent. But then, suddenly, he looked at Obi-Wan challengingly. "_You_ fought against it."

"Excuse me?" Obi-Wan said, clearly confused.

"Yes. On Mustafar. You fought against the vision and ran away so it could not become real."

"That was something entirely different," Obi-Wan said morosely. "In my vision, it was said that it would happen if I failed. It was never determined that the future would be like that. It was not about the will of the Force but about my individual doings. Anyway, it didn't change a thing, did it? Although I tried to prevent it, you turned to the dark side. We fought against each other. Running away was…pointless. It did not change a thing."

"Well, alright, it did not change the essential things but at least I've still got both of my legs, which makes me quite happy. Two mechanical arms are bad enough. If I had artificial legs on top of everything, I'd be more machine than man. So, you could say your decision changed at least a little bit."

"Very well then, if you want to see it like that…"

"In my vision it was also said that my failure would cause those things. Maybe there's going to be some sort of a test for me. And if I don't pass that test… I don't like the thought of that, Obi-Wan. What if –"

"Your thoughts are much too far in the future. Concentrate on the Here and Now."

His eyebrows knit, Anakin scrutinised Obi-Wan. "Somehow you sound more and more like Qui-Gon. And you also behave like him. You know, contradicting the Jedi Council, picking quarrels with Master Yoda…" Anakin grinned. "Getting reckless… I bet Qui-Gon would be immensely proud of you."

"Unfortunately he is not." Obi-Wan tried to conceal his bitterness because of that by being offhand. "He made it pretty obvious he is anything but proud of me."

Anakin threw him a surprised glance. "He didn't say that, did he?"

"He did." Obi-Wan pressed his lips tightly together.

"He can't have been serious!"

Remaining silent, Obi-Wan just shrugged.

"He's an idiot!" Anakin said angrily. "Maybe this sounds presumptuous if I, as your former Padawan, tell you that I'm proud of you but I can definitely say that I am very proud because I was your apprentice."

Obi-Wan had a big lump in his throat and a few tears were brimming in his eyes. As well as Anakin was able to always find Obi-Wan's sore spots, he could, with a few simple, direct words, reassure Obi-Wan and make his doubts go away. Obi-Wan threw Anakin a short side glance and Anakin gave him an encouraging smile. Smiling weakly back, Obi-Wan directed his gaze back at the still lake in front of him. The sight provided him with calmness and made him gather the courage to finally tell Anakin the things which had been haunting him for so long. "On Mustafar, I used my lightsaber not only to defend myself but to attack. It's not the Jedi way. It was wrong. That's why I swore I'd never touch a lightsaber again. In my vision, it was said my failure would make Mustafar come true. That's what happened."

"Do not forget I was the one who turned to the dark side," Anakin said gruffly. "_That _is what I call failure."

"As your Master, I should have protected you from it."

Anakin turned his head so he could look Obi-Wan right in the eye. "It was the will of the Force that you became my Master," he said full of conviction.

Doubtfully, Obi-Wan shook his head. "Why should it be the will of the Force that Qui-Gon died so that I became your Master and failed? Why should the Force want you to turn to the dark side? Was it really the will of the Force that we fought against each other? Honestly, if that's the will of the Force, then it's really…" Just in time, he could stop himself from saying 'stupid'. "Then it is really strange and not understandable to me at all," he finished his sentence.

"I don't think everything that happens is just the will of the Force," Anakin said deliberately. "Because that would make things too easy. You could do what you wanted, you could commit all sorts of crimes and afterwards you'd just say, _'Why? It's not my fault, it was the will of the Force'_. I don't know if it was the will of the Force that I turned to the dark side. Maybe, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm not responsible for it. I made my decision – whether it was guided by the Force or not. I did what I did and so I'm the one who is responsible."

"I agree," Obi-Wan said, wondering silently when Anakin had suddenly become so mature.

"I'm dead sure it was the will of the Force that I became your apprentice," Anakin continued, "but to me, it wouldn't change a thing if it hadn't been the will of the Force. In the end, only what really happened counts, not what should have been. I'm glad, though, that the Force brought us together."

"Why?"

"_Why?_ Um…" Anakin seemed at a loss to explain. Obi-Wan could not blame him.

"Well, if Qui-Gon or anyone else had been your Master, then perhaps things would have been entirely different," Obi-Wan said bitterly.

"Maybe…," Anakin admitted. "But maybe I'd already be dead or I'd still be the Emperor's slave."

"Qui-Gon would have never killed you. It was him who kept telling me to go to you and bring you back to the Jedi."

"I see. Anyway, it doesn't change a thing now. The what-ifs are unimportant. What's past is past. You were my Master, I turned to the dark side and now…" Anakin trailed off and looked uncertainly at Obi-Wan.

"Now you're fortunately back," Obi-Wan answered his unspoken question.

Anakin threw him a grateful glance. "Yes, I'm really glad I am."

"And so am I."

"Why?" it was now Anakin's turn to ask.

"You've been into my mind, haven't you?" Obi-Wan said evasively. "So you should know."

"Well, I didn't rummage in your mind," Anakin defended himself. "I didn't look at single thoughts or memories. I got more of a general idea."

"Of course. I know you didn't _rummage,_" Obi-Wan reassured him.

"What gives you the idea you failed?" Anakin asked unexpected. "Did Qui-Gon say it?"

"Among others," Obi-Wan muttered morosely.

"You shouldn't let them get you down. You did not fail. You didn't make the vision come true. I still got both of my legs: That's the proof! And you didn't fail as my Master either. I should know better than Qui-Gon, right? After all, _I_ was your apprentice – he was not. He was dead and so he cannot know what happened exactly. But I know you were a great Master. You didn't fail, Obi-Wan. Not in my eyes."

Again, Obi-Wan felt some tears burning in his eyes. Right now, Anakin was the thirteen-year-old boy again who trusted him unconditionally and said, _'You could not have saved Qui-Gon. It was not your fault. You would have saved him if it had been possible.' _The boy who declared full of conviction, _'You're the best Master ever'_,although Obi-Wan had been so cold and unfair towards him. And that was why Obi-Wan felt he had failed. "Anakin, I cut off your arm. I wanted to _kill _you. I did fail. As your friend."

Silently, Anakin intently looked at him for a very long time. His eyes seemed to bore into Obi-Wan's, and look through them. When Obi-Wan thought he could not endure that stare any longer, Anakin abruptly averted his gaze. "I forced you to do it. You had to do it."

Obi-Wan was thoroughly surprised of hearing such words from Anakin. That was not the way Anakin thought. Anakin put loyalty and friendship before duty. "Did Qui-Gon tell you that?" Obi-Wan asked sceptically.

"Well, yes, he did," Anakin admitted.

Obi-Wan sighed softly. "Can't we finally stop telling each other what Qui-Gon said?"

"Okay. What do you really feel?"

It was such an Anakin-question to ask. Earlier, Obi-Wan had sometimes felt a bit flattered that Anakin had shown interest in his feelings whereas all the other Jedi told him to let go of his grief, the bitterness and the loss of Qui-Gon, and to focus instead on being a good Master to his Padawan. Anakin had never demanded such a thing from him. He had accepted Obi-Wan's emotions and had even put up with resentment because of that. And it had not changed. Everything was still the same: Master Yoda told Obi-Wan to fight down his feelings because of Anakin's betrayal. But Anakin asked him about his feelings and Obi-Wan knew: whatever he was going to say, Anakin would accept it. He would accept it like he accepted Obi-Wan with his feelings, weaknesses and failures. It was good to know that at least to Anakin he did not have to be the perfect Jedi.

"Master?" Anakin interrupted his thoughts.

Of course, Anakin was still waiting for an answer. "You've always been like a brother to me, Anakin," Obi-Wan said softly. It was the simple truth. It meant admitting attachment but Obi-Wan did not care anymore whether he was acting un-jedi-like or not. For four year, he had lived apart from the other Jedi. He had spent time with "normal" people and he had got to know Luke. All of that had sometimes made him think odd things. Thoughts about family… Yes, somehow he envied those who lived in a family. He regretted the Jedi Order had forbidden such attachment. Sure, attachment _could _be dangerous, love _could_ make you weak but maybe it could also make you very strong.

"Still?" Anakin asked.

"Sorry?" Obi-Wan asked, confused.

"Do you still feel like that?"

"Oh. Yes. Yes, I do... When you turned to the dark side, I felt betrayed by you. It wouldn't have hurt so much if you'd been one of the Jedi who burned in the Temple. Maybe I should have acted differently on Mustafar, I should have tried to talk to you and convince you to leave the path of the Sith. But I was too agitated for such a thing. When it gets personal, I'm not much of a great negotiator anymore… I missed you."

"I missed you too," Anakin replied, "though sometimes I didn't realise I did… But I'm…I mean, I don't understand why you still…I gave you enough reasons to hate me."

"You once told me one doesn't need a reason to love."

"Actually, it was Qui-Gon who said that."

"Oh."

"And here we go again." Grinning, Anakin rolled his eyes.

"Indeed."

"You know, _sometimes_ he is right."

"Most of the time."

"Almost always." They exchanged a brief smile. Anakin yawned loudly. Once, twice, three times.

"Are you tired?" Obi-Wan asked, amused.

"Yeah, a bit, I guess… Haven't slept for days. Look, the sun's already rising again." Anakin indicated the horizon where the night sky slightly brightened.

"And what about you?" Obi-Wan asked. "What do _you_ really feel?"

Anakin remained silent and kept staring at the mountains in the distance, which slowly began to stand out against the brightening sky. "I don't think I would have attacked if you hadn't drawn your lightsaber," he finally said almost inaudibly.

The quiet words hurt. Because, maybe, they were true. Obi-Wan had often wondered what would have happened, if he had not drawn his lightsaber. Would the last four years have been any different? "You – you put down your cloak," he helplessly defended himself, "and that made it very obvious you were ready to fight."

"Of course I was ready to fight," Anakin retorted. "I had to be, right? You came there to kill me, didn't you?!"

"But you didn't leave me another choice!" Obi-Wan was close to yelling. "When you –"

"Stop it," Anakin said firmly. "I know you were the one who was right and I was wrong. Of course I know. But you asked me what I _felt_. I know it's wrong to feel like that but the knowledge that you wanted to kill me hurt. It still hurts. I know you already apologised – you apologised for too many things and for things you shouldn't apologise for… It's just... For four years I tried to convince myself that I hated you and now... I will try to do what a Jedi should do. I hope I will be able to let go of such stupid feelings. I think you were right when you said things were never going to be the way again they once were. But that doesn't mean everything's going to be bad, does it?"

"You're right," Obi-Wan said quietly. "Mustafar is over now. It's like a nightmare and maybe we're never going to live without fear that something like that could happen again but we can try to forget. I think we said all that had to be said. It's over now."

"Alright. Let's not talk about it again. Deal?" Anakin put his hand forth.

Obi-Wan took the offered hand and squeezed it briefly. "Deal." Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan finally relaxed. His gaze wandered off to the mountains which loomed in the usual mist through which the rising sun's rays broke. The long night was finally over. No one could tell what the new day would bring. Maybe it would not be as good as yesterday but the sun would rise again. Again and again.


	43. Father and Son

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews you sent me! I really didn't expect to get so many reviews for a chapter with nothing but talking in it... :)**

Phoenix Red Lion: **I really love reading your reviews, they always make me laugh:** **"They can deal with a dead guy later..." lol, that's true! **

Anaya: **Thanks so much! I'm glad it made you happy :)**

Jedi Knight 13: "**It is like the quiet before the storm, cleaning the house before they face Palpatine." Yeah, I didn't want them to confront Palpatine before having things sorted out...**

Sentrosi: **Don't worry, the Force will be with you. Always.**

Lord of the Dull: **Thanks a lot for the information. That sounds good :) I'm going to check the c2s...**

naturekid: **I'm glad you like my stories. I'll try and post the ending of this one quickly. Three more chapters and an epilogue to go...**

amthyst-fire: **Thank you very much for the compliment! Just out of interest: how would you have written it? I'm curious now ;-)**

Lily Dragon: **Yes, the thing with the younglings... When in the movies that little frightened boy comes to him and is so trusting and Anakin does not show any mercy, that's the point where I get really angry at him. Before that, I feel sorry for him because I can understand that he's frightened to lose Padmé. That's why I tried to somehow avoid the youngling-scene in this fanfic and said Anakin just burned down the Temple and did not strike each of them down... Maybe Anakin wouldn't have fought Obi-Wan BUT I guess he wouldn't have turned back to the good side either - no matter what Obi-Wan would have said. I mean, not even Padmé could convince him. Anyway, Jedi don't deal in what-ifs ;-)**

Geri K: **Yes, Obi-Wan proved them all wrong - all of them who criticised him. After all, Anakin is back now and it was mostly Obi-Wan who did it. Obi-Wan and Anakin really needed the talking after all the secrets and betrayal...**

Wawoot: **I'm glad you liked the way I made them...erm, talk and heal... whatever :) Thank you!**

eirene 1988: **Okay, I see your point with the meditation. Let me try to explain: I didn't mean to say that he is somehow incapable, I mean, it's obvious he's one of the most powerful Jedi ever. Technically he knows how to meditate and earlier he didn't have problems meditatin (although he probably didn't like it - you're right there, lol) but now he is a bit afraid to do it because the meditation would show him things about himself he would have preferred to forget/ignore (that's how I see meditation - it clears your mind, makes you contemplate things which were bothering you...). When I wrote about the problems with his meditation, I didn't think so much about a Jedi exercise but rather about a way Anakin deals with what he has done... Anyway, I'm glad you have continued with the story until here and thanks for your review :)**

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When Anakin woke up, he felt amazingly refreshed and well-rested. He had not had such a clear head for days. And he could not remember having ever slept so well in his life. He turned in his sheets, and stretched his sleepy limbs. The bed was so wonderfully warm and soft and extremely cosy except for the fact that he still had his boots on. He could only dimly remember how he had got into bed last evening. It was a wonder he had been able to sleep at all because he had not slept for three nights before. Maybe the meditation _had_ helped. Suddenly he realised how empty his stomach felt. He needed something to eat – quickly. His tunic, which he had not taken off either when he had gone to bed, was completely crumpled. Naturally, he did not have something else to wear with him as his departure from the Imperial battle station had been rather abrupt. He went downstairs to look for something to eat and maybe he could ask Obi-Wan if he had a tunic for him. 

Obi-Wan, Beru and Luke and another young boy were sitting around the dining table.

"Oh, you're already awake," Obi-Wan said, grinning.

"Yeah…"

"Would you like something to eat?" Beru asked kindly.

"Yes, that would be nice."

"Well, sit down." Beru put a plate and cutlery in front of Anakin and put some dark brown mush on his plate.

"Thank you very much," Anakin said politely. He looked a bit unsurely at the young boy – a Jedi youngling whom he did not know.

"That's Gwen, Luke's friend," said Beru, who had noticed Anakin's glance.

"Um, hi," Anakin said self-consciously. "Nice to meet you."

"Hi," the boy replied timidly.

Then Anakin quickly busied himself with eating.

"It's dinner, by the way," Obi-Wan explained in the meantime.

"Oh. It means it's already evening," Anakin said in mild surprise, earning himself a funny glance from Gwen.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Luke declared.

"But you have hardly eaten anything yet," Obi-Wan reprimanded him gently.

"But I'm not hungry anymore," Luke whined.

"Alright, alright, three more spoonfuls and you're finished," Beru said.

"But, Aunt Beru, I don't like the food," Luke lamented and he looked as if he was about to burst into tears. Beru rolled her eyes.

"You can't say everyday that you don't like the food," Obi-Wan said patiently. "You have to eat something from time to time."

"Why?"

"Because you starve if you don't eat regularly."

"But I don't like this."

"But look at Gwen, he has already almost finished his dinner."

"But I _don't like it_."

Obi-Wan and Beru exchanged a slightly annoyed glance.

"What's your favourite dishes, Luke?" Anakin interfered in the discussion.

Luke, however, did not answer but simply glared angrily at Obi-Wan and Beru.

"The only meal he likes is Mandalon-Soup," Beru explained to Anakin. "You know, that soup every child on Tatooine loves."

"Yes, I used to eat it as a child too. I could make us some Mandalon-Soup tomorrow," Anakin offered. "If it doesn't bother you, that is", he added quickly. Suddenly, he was not sure anymore if it had been such a good idea. Of course he felt bad if Obi-Wan and Beru always cooked for him but did his offer perhaps suggest that he somehow belonged to the family now? The family…which was a really strange family, by the way. Obi-Wan was not Luke's father, Beru was not Luke's mother, and Obi-Wan and Beru were not married. _And although I am the biological father, I don't belong here at all…_ In addition to that, it probably looked to Obi-Wan and Beru as if he wanted to spoil Luke because he wanted to cook his favourite dishes for him. As if he wanted to undermine their authority and try to get Luke on his side by flattering and spoiling him.

"Of course it doesn't bother me if you cook," Beru said. "It means I don't have to cook."

"And it can't probably get worse than my meals," Obi-Wan added.

Relieved, Anakin grinned. "Alright. So it's Mandalon-Soup tomorrow. Um, Obi-Wan, do you have perhaps a tunic I could wear? Because mine is already dirty and, well, yucky."

"Of course you can have something from me. But you have to realise it won't look so good. I mean, it's probably a bit too small for you and it's not such _rakish_ black but just boring beige," Obi-Wan teased him.

Anakin had always been a bit vainer and had chosen his clothes very carefully whereas Obi-Wan had simply taken any standard model. "I could colour your tunic black," Anakin suggested good-naturedly.

"I'm warning you."

"Aha! Now, who's the one who is vain?"

"Aunt Beru, I don't like the food," Luke whined.

"I could ask Tohn-Ato if he could give you one of his tunics," the boy called Gwen suddenly addressed Anakin. "He's taller than Master Kenobi. Maybe his clothes would fit you better."

Suddenly, there was an awkward silence. Only Luke kept banging his spoon angrily at his plate. Anakin gulped and stared at the young boy, at Gwen. How old was he? Six years maybe? Then he had been only two years old when _it_ had happened. Could he still remember? Hadn't the other Jedi told him?

"Is it not a good idea?" Gwen said timidly and looked questioningly at Obi-Wan.

"Of course it is a good idea," Obi-Wan reassured him kindly. "That's very nice of you to suggest. I'm not sure, however, if Tohn-Ato would, well, give his tunic away."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll do that," Gwen said confidently. "Tohn-Ato is very nice. He saved me when the Temple was burning and he got a very bad burn when he did that. He's cared for me since then because I'm the youngest one. He's like a Master to me."

Anakin's lips were quivering and he could not speak. He saw Obi-Wan was just as agitated by that as he was. So Beru spoke up, "Yes, that would be nice if you asked Tohn-Ato."

"I can ask him right now. I've already finished dinner." Gwen eagerly got up and ran outside. Anakin sadly watched him leave. He knew he was not going to see him again. Tohn-Ato was obviously one of the older Jedi students and, as he cared so well for Gwen, he would not allow him to go near Anakin again. Before Anakin could get more depressed, Luke started with his "I don't like the food" again. _My mere presence scares your only friend off_, Anakin thought guiltily. He was not hungry anymore and glared as gloomily at his food as Luke did.

But then something happened no one had expected: Gwen returned and he also brought some clothes with him.

"Here you are," he said and handed Anakin, who was utterly speechless, the clothes. Then he turned to Obi-Wan. "Can Luke and I go outside and play now?"

"Yes, you can. If you want to eat with us tomorrow too, we'd be happy if you came again."

"Yes, that would be nice. Will you be there tomorrow too? Because Tohn-Ato said I mustn't go here if you're not there, Master Kenobi."

"I will be there. And you can ask Tohn-Ato to come too."

"I don't think he wants to come here. He doesn't like…" Gwen indicated Anakin. "…him."

"That's alright," Anakin said. "Tell him I'm very grateful that he gave me some clothes nonetheless."

"Okay, I'll do that. Come on, Luke, let's get outside."

Happy that he was finally allowed to get up, Luke followed his friend. "May the Force be with you, Master Kenobi," Gwen said politely. "And may the Force be with you too, Master Vader."

Anakin froze. "Um, I… Just call me 'Anakin'. I don't like the name 'Vader' very much."

"Okay. Aren't you a Master?" Gwen asked curiously.

"No, I'm not."

"Then what are you?"

"I don't really know," Anakin said truthfully.

"Maybe a Jedi Knight?" Gwen suggested helpfully.

"Maybe," Anakin replied. "Thanks again and may the Force be with you, Gwen."

Then the two boys dashed off. Anakin thoughtfully stared at the clothes Gwen had brought him.

"He's a nice boy," Beru broke the silence.

"Yes", Obi-Wan muttered. Anakin nodded in agreement.

"I'm glad Luke found such a nice friend," Beru continued. "I was afraid he wouldn't fit. But as it looks, he finally gets on well with the Jedi kids. Well…" She looked from Obi-Wan to Anakin, who both were brooding and rather reticent. "Alright, I think I'm going to leave you alone now. I guess now comes _the_ big talk. I'm certainly not of much help here with my poor Jedi knowledge."

When she had left, Anakin said, "We already had _the_ big talk, hadn't we?"

"Yes, absolutely," Obi-Wan agreed. "And we said we wouldn't talk about it again, didn't we?"

"Yes. Then let's talk about something else. Tell me about Luke. I hardly know anything about him. Is he Force-sensitive?"

"Yes. I never tested his midi-chlorian count but it is very obvious that the Force is strong in him."

Anakin nodded slowly. "Does it mean he's going to be trained to become a Jedi?"

Obi-Wan threw him a surprised glance. "It's your decision, isn't it?"

Anakin was glad that they had not already decided about Luke's fate over Anakin's head. Instinct told him he did not want Luke to become a Jedi. He wanted to protect him from the suffering he himself had endured. But most of all, he did not want Luke to grow up isolated and with the privations, which the Jedi Code demanded. On the other hand… Anakin thought of Obi-Wan. Of Qui-Gon. Master Yoda. Bant Eerin. Luminara Unduli. Nejaa Halcyon. Gwen and Tohn-Ato. The Jedi were good people. People who had a big heart and who would care well for a child. He could not wish for a better place for Luke to be, could he? "I don't know," he said, his heart heavy. "Of course I only have his best interests at heart. I just don't know what is right… What would you say?"

"I think, as he is Force-sensitive he should be trained in any case. If he used the Force aimlessly without knowing what he's doing, it could become dangerous to himself. Someone needs to guide him and help him control his abilities. But it needn't necessarily be the Jedi Order who trains him. If you have…reservations against this…institution, you could teach him the ways pf the Force yourself. But I'm sure it would be wrong to simply ignore his Force-abilities."

"I don't think Master Yoda's going to allow me to train Luke."

"Anakin, the Jedi have never trained a child without the parents' approval."

In Anakin's mind, the images Sidious had made him believe – and those he had chosen to believe because it made things easier – appeared again. Jedi, who tore families apart. Who stole the beloved children from their parents. Who manipulated their "victims" and infiltrated them with their indoctrinations. He shook off those images. "I know," he sighed. "I guess it will be best if the Jedi Order is responsible for his training. Would you take him as your Padawan?"

"Why… That is… I mean… You see, it's not common anymore that a Jedi Knight takes a Padawan. There aren't enough fully trained Knights left, and the number of students is – compared to it – too high."

"I understand," Anakin said miserably. "That's a pity. I'm sorry for the students. I guess it's important for children to have an attachment person, you know, someone who replaces the parents." Obi-Wan nodded sadly. "But I'm sure someday there will be enough Jedi again," Anakin said and gave Obi-Wan an encouraging smile. "Then every student can get a Master again."

"You're right. Not everything has been destroyed. Someday things will look better again. And it's a new start. Maybe it is a chance to learn from the mistakes of the past and make things better this time."

Anakin was a bit astonished to hear Obi-Wan admit so freely that the Jedi had made mistakes. Things changed indeed…

"If you want to get to know your son better, you could put him to bed tonight," Obi-Wan suggested. "It's time for him to get to bed now."

"I'd rather not do it. I don't think he's going to let me do it."

"Actually, he doesn't let anyone do it. So don't take it personally if he yells at you how utterly stupid you are… Alright, let's say you put your new clothes on and I get him upstairs in the meantime. Then the worst is already over when he sees you."

"Isn't that a bit unfair?" Anakin said. He did not want to force Obi-Wan to play the bad guy whereas Anakin was left with the enjoyable tasks.

"Don't worry, Luke and I argue every day because of that," Obi-Wan said lightly. "But we always reconcile quickly."

Grateful, Anakin went off to put the new clothes on (and to comb his hair, brush his teeth, wash his face and his hands…). When he got upstairs into Luke's room, the screaming was already over. Obi-Wan was trying to make the old-fashioned mechanism of the jalousies work. Luke had resigned himself to his fate and was now obediently putting on his pyjamas. He had problems with taking off his shoes, however. When he had tugged at them in vain for some time, Anakin offered, "Shall I help you?" Wordlessly, Luke put forth his foot towards Anakin, who had no problems undoing the knot. "Shall I help you with the other shoe two?"

"Yes."

_Wow, he talked to me! _"Done," Anakin said and got up from his kneeling position. "Then it is time for you to go to bed now."

Without arguing, Luke scrambled into his bed but he did not lie down but sat down on the edge of the bed expectantly. "Obi-Wan? Can you tell me a story?"

"Your Dad could tell you a story tonight," Obi-Wan, who was still struggling with the jalousies, suggested.

Thunderstruck, Anakin stared at him. _Obi-Wan, you can't be serious! __I can't tell bedtime stories! __Please, anything but that! Let me fix the jalousies, and you tell the story – I'm better at repairing and you're better at talking._

"Okay," Luke, however, agreed.

"Um…very well then." Anakin did not really have much of a choice. He wanted to get to know Luke better? So this was his chance. "What kind of a story do you want to hear?"

Luke thought about it for a moment. "A story about the Jedi and the Master. And the Princess."

"Good idea." Of course, Anakin had no idea what Luke wanted to hear. And he was entirely clueless on how to start.

"You can sit down," Luke told him.

It was the first time Luke talked to him voluntarily without being asked. Very slowly in order not to frighten Luke, Anakin sat down on the edge of the bed. "Alright then." He cleared his throat. How was he supposed to start? "A long time ago…" That sounded like a good beginning of a story. But then what happened? "A long, long time ago…there was…" He racked his brains but he just could not think of something intelligent. Helplessly, he sought Obi-Wan's glance. _You got me into this mess. Now help me. _

Grinning, Obi-Wan continued Anakin's "story". "A long, long time ago, there was a very brave Jedi. He had an amazing spaceship with lots of secret extra tools, it had for example an Invisibility Booster and a Time Jump Function. That was why he always got the most dangerous assignments. One day, he and his Jedi Master were given such a new dangerous assignment. They had to fly to a planet far away in the Wild Space in order to collect gold there."

Anakin frowned deeply. _Collect gold? That doesn't sound very jedi-like to me._ "You see, the gold originally belonged to the Princess", he explained, "and evil thieves had stolen it from her. The Jedi had to bring it back to her. So…they set off in their extremely amazing spaceship. Yes."

"At first, everything went fine," Obi-Wan took over again. "Seven days and seven nights passed without any disturbance. But then, in the morning of the eighth day when the Master got up, he suddenly realised their ship was shaking in a very unusual way."

"'_Wake up, quickly!'_ the Master told his Padawan. '_I think we got into an ion storm!'_ – _'Oh no!' _the Padawan shouted and jumped out of his bed. He had to hold on to the wall to steady himself because the ship was rocketing so much. _'Get us off Autopilot!'_ the Master shouted."

Luke snuggled closer towards Anakin and leant against him. Anakin was so surprised by it that words failed him. It was probably just an instinct of Luke's or a habit that he leant against the person who told him his bedtime story when he was tired in the evening. All the same, it was a wonderful feeling to Anakin. It felt just _good_ when Luke's little body huddled against him so trustingly. A warm feeling of happiness spread through Anakin. Carefully, he put an arm around Luke's shoulders. Luke did not reject it. He turned around to stare at Anakin out of his big, blue eyes.

"And then what happened?"

Oh dear, the story. Anakin had completely forgotten about that. Fortunately, Obi-Wan had paid attention.

"So the Padawan got them off Autopilot, got behind the controls and tried to navigate the ship out of the dangerous ion storm. The ship rocketed and swayed and if they had not been strapped in, they would have fallen out of their seats before long. Fortunately, the Padawan was the best spacepilot in the galaxy. Otherwise, they wouldn't have had the slightest chance of survival."

"The Padawan might be the best pilot in the galaxy," Anakin continued, "but that did not help him much if he could not see anything. Looking out of the cockpit, he could see nothing but bright, white rays. The Padawan had no idea where to go. He hoped he did not fly in the wrong direction so it would bring him farther down inside the ion storm. And he hoped there were no obstacles in his way."

"Then the Master had an idea: _'I'm going to try to contact someone who can tell us where to go'_."

_Stupid idea, Obi-Wan. That would never work. _"But they did not get through to anyone because the ion storm disrupted their communication system."

Obi-Wan did not seem happy with that development of events. "_'What are we to do now?'_ the Master asked. _'Do you have an idea, Padawan?'_" Expectantly, he looked at Anakin but the latter had no idea either how the story was supposed to continue.

"'_No, I don't have any idea'_, the Padawan answered." Obi-Wan and Anakin exchanged a helpless glance.

"And then what happened?" Luke asked excitedly.

"Erm…"

"Then…"

"Well, you see…"

"Then there was a…um…"

Suddenly, Anakin had a rescuing plan. "Suddenly, the Master had an idea: _'Padawan, let the Force guide you. It can lead you out of this storm and you can feel in the Force where the obstacles are and then you can avoid them.'_"

"'_That's really an amazing idea, Master,'_ the Padawan said. _'I would have never thought of something like that'_."

Anakin had to grin. That was exactly the kind of answer he would have given Obi-Wan. Naturally, Luke did not grasp the irony in it and so Anakin just went on: "The Padawan closed his eyes and concentrated very hard on the Force and let it flow through him. Soon he saw in his mind where they had to go. It was not very far anymore. Finally, they were out of the ion storm."

"They flew to the planet and found the gold. They brought it back to the Princess. She was very happy and as a thank you, she gave half of the gold to the Jedi. End of story."

_That's an odd end_, Anakin thought. _And I always thought a Jedi must not possess anything. Certainly he must not possess something like gold_.

"That was a nice story," Luke said. It surprised Anakin to hear that. While telling the story, he had felt like making a complete idiot of himself and he had been sure it bored Luke to death. It was strange that children were happy just because of such little things. Anakin's right arm was still put around Luke and suddenly Luke carefully palpated his mechanical fingers. Anakin let him do it and stayed completely still. He waited patiently and let the boy do what he wanted.

"Why do you have such hands?" Luke asked finally.

"I used to have normal hands – like you, Obi-Wan or Aunt Beru. But I lost my hands in a lightsaber fight. You could say they were cut off by a lightsaber. They're a bit like droid hands."

"Did it hurt?" Luke asked sympathetically.

"Yes, it hurt very much. But now it doesn't hurt anymore at all. These hands are much like normal hands and I can do the same things with them as with normal hands." _I can do almost everything with them_, Anakin thought sadly. _What I cannot do with these horrible droid hands is for example ruffling my son's hair. _

"Why did you lose your hands in a lightsaber fight?" Luke asked curiously.

"Because… Because I didn't pay attention. I was not careful enough and then it had already happened."

"That's pretty dangerous," Luke said, clearly impressed.

"Yes, you're right. Lightsaber fights are really dangerous." _I just hope you're never going to do such things._

"Yes, yes, I know, Obi-Wan keeps telling me all the time."

"And he's absolutely right."

"Why weren't you careful?"

"Phh… That's a good question… I thought I was such a great swordsman and I believed I was so good that I did not have to be careful. But that was a mistake. My opponents were just better than me."

"But Obi-Wan said you're the best Jedi ever."

Anakin wanted to give Obi-Wan a reproachful look when he noticed Obi-Wan was not there anymore. Great, so he had to search an explanation alone... "I was a good swordsman, yes, but my mistake was that I was not careful enough. You see? So I was not really such a good Jedi because fighting is not the only thing a Jedi does. You also have to be clever as a Jedi. And sometimes you have to be careful."

"Who cut off your hands?"

Anakin gulped. He felt pushed into a corner all of a sudden. "It's not important," he said evasively.

"Why?"

"Well, the fact is my hands are not there anymore and it's unimportant who did it, isn't it?"

"But they have to be killed! They're evil if they cut off your hands!"

How was he supposed to explain such a thing to Luke? How could he explain to Luke that his own father was the one who was _evil_? "My opponents were just defending their own life…"

"But they hurt you!"

"Yes, of course it hurt. But killing them won't change it. It won't make the pain go away and it won't make my normal hands grow back." Luke remained silent and Anakin really hoped he would accept it like that. Suddenly, Anakin noticed Luke was trembling. "Are you cold?" he asked worriedly. Luke nodded. Anakin grabbed the blanket and enveloped the little boy in it. Then he spontaneously put Luke on his lap and embraced him tightly. Luke did not protest. "Is it better like this?" Anakin asked.

"Yes."

"On Tatooine it's much warmer, isn't it?"

"M-hmm."

"When I was a child, I lived on Tatooine too."

"Yes?"

"Yes. And some day I left Tatooine because I wanted to become a Jedi. And when I visited other planets, I would be always cold."

"Aunt Beru showed me a lake today. There's so much water. And it's just there,_ just like that_."

"Lakes are amazing, aren't they? So much water at one place. You even can go inside the water and swim. That's really fun. If you want, I can show you."

"Yes."

"But you must never go into the water alone, okay? That's dangerous. You could drown."

"What is _drown_?"

"That's much like falling into a sand pit and suffocating in it because the sand comes crashing down on you."

"Okay. Are you really my Dad?"

That question met Anakin completely unprepared. "Um…it's…I… Yes, I'm really your Dad."

"Then why don't you live with me? All the other children live with their parents."

Tears welled up in Anakin's eyes. _You have no idea how much I'd like to live with you! _But instead, he said, "You've lived with Aunt Beru and Obi-Wan. That's nice too, isn't it?"

"Yes," Luke said quietly, "but they're not my _real_ parents. Don't you love me? Is that why I couldn't live with you?"

"What – no! Of course I love you!" It broke Anakin's heart that his son thought about him like that. That his son had to think about such things. That he had to believe he was not loved.

"And what about Mum?"

New tears burned in Anakin's eyes. "She loves you too. She loves you very, very much. If she was still alive, you would live with her, of course."

"Okay." Luke turned around to look at him. "Why are you crying? Are you sad because Mum is dead?" Anakin could only nod as an answer. "I'm sad too because of that," Luke said, "I think." Thoughtfully, he touched Anakin's hands with his little fingers again. "Aunt Beru says Mum is an angel and she lives in the sky of Tatooine and looks down at me and looks after me."

"That's right," Anakin whispered, his voice hoarse with tears. "She's an angel."

"But… Can she still look after me when I'm not on Tatooine anymore?"

"Of course she can. She's everywhere where you are."

"Why?"

"Because she loves you so much."

"Does she look after you too? Aunt Beru and Obi-Wan thought you were dead. Did Mum save you?"

"Yes, maybe she did… Well, it was mostly Obi-Wan, actually. And Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon helped a lot too."

"Who's Qui-Gon?"

"Qui-Gon is…he's like a father to me. But not my real father. Like Obi-Wan, you know. Obi-Wan cared for you and you lived with him but he's not your real father. Qui-Gon died a long time ago but you could say he still looks after me as an angel."

"That's nice of him. Maybe he and Mum meet each other in the sky. I'm tired now."

Anakin smiled a little bit between his tears. Luke was amazing at changing the topic abruptly. "Of course, it's already late." Anakin lifted Luke up from his knees and put him to bed. "Goodnight, Luke." He hesitated but then he remembered how it had felt to be a young boy, and so he bent down, kissed Luke lightly on his forehead and said softly, "I love you, Luke."

"Maybe I love you too, a little bit, I think." Luke yawned, pulled his blanket up to his nose and closed his eyes. Just a few seconds later, he had fallen asleep. Smiling broadly, Anakin looked down at his son. He would have liked to stay and simply watch Luke for the rest of the night but there was something else he had to do now. He absolutely needed to speak to Qui-Gon. He knew Qui-Gon had said he did not have the strength to get his voice back into the living world for some time but, after all, Anakin was the Chosen One and he did not believe in impossibility.


	44. Master and Padawan

**Thanks to Anaya, Sentrosi, Jedi Knight 13 and Wawoot for reviewing! I'm glad you liked the Anakin/Luke interaction. Anakin is really alright now. There are some things concerning Obi-Wan that need to be fixed (this chapter) and then it's time for the final showdown ;-)**

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Obi-Wan was relieved that Luke and Anakin finally became closer. He had seen the blissful smile on Anakin's lips when Luke had snuggled against him. It was good to know Anakin was still able to smile. When Luke had started asking questions of a more intimate nature, Obi-Wan had decided to was time to leave father and son alone.

Now we was outside, meditating. Uresi was a good place to meditate, especially at night when everything was perfectly calm. Absolute silence. This place was so different from Coruscant. And tonight, Obi-Wan could fully relax because: a) Anakin was not around trying to make crazy Force explosions and b) Anakin was not radiating any negative emotions at the moment.

But – how could it have been else? – Obi-Wan's peace was soon disturbed.

_Obi-Wan._

Obi-Wan slightly jumped at Qui-Gon's unexpected voice. _Master?_ Obi-Wan answered in the Force. _You're here again? I thought you said you didn't possess the strength anymore to speak to me._

_That's what I thought. But your Padawan's exceptional skills…well, rather his stubbornness __called me back one more time._

_Anakin is your Padawan too…_

_Oh, please__… __**You**__ are my Padawan. And Anakin is your Padawan. You can ask him. He calls you 'Master'. He doesn't call me that anymore. I sensed a strong bond between the two of you in the Force from the very beginning. I should have never trained him. You should have done that from the very start. _

_It would have been better if you had finished his training._

_Ah. Talking about it… I need to tell you some things. Please don't interrupt me because I can only communicate with you while you're in your meditation and I don't know how much time I have left. I __**am**__ proud of you, Obi-Wan. Very, very proud. And if I said some things lately which suggested anything else, I only did that because I needed to make you bring Anakin back. And you did that. You achieved much more than I had expected. When I talked to Anakin today, I could see that the little boy with the big heart is finally back. You did that. I know, you're going to say you didn't do it alone, there were many people who helped you and it was Anakin's decision… But you did your part and you did it well. And it's just natural you didn't do it alone. Doing things together and helping each other is natural. Let them help you, Obi-Wan. There are enough people who want to help you. Most of all Anakin, I dare say. Self-evidently, it was not your failure that brought Anakin to the dark side. Maybe a little part of what happened was your fault but you shouldn't forget that the one who really is to blame is Palpatine – and, obviously, Anakin. Maybe a part of it was also my fault. Oh yes, I still remember how you used to criticise my way of training Anakin. Maybe you were right. Maybe you were not. We will never find out. However, the fact which remains is: You were not only an excellent Padawan but also a very good Master. I know you were a good apprentice and Anakin knows you were a good teacher. Really, who could know better than us?_

At these compliments, Obi-Wan's cheeks were burning red in the cool night air. All he could think of to say was, _Anakin is not a little boy anymore._

_Wha-? Uh, yes… That…_

_You mentioned something like that. But he has grown up. He is a father now. _

Obi-Wan could almost hear the broad smile in Qui-Gon's voice. _Yes, of course you are right. To me, time just stopped back then. To me, Anakin is still that buoyant, cheeky, adorable boy and you're still that conscientious, serious, young Jedi Knight who clung to the rules so desperately. _

Obi-Wan grimaced. He had heard more than enough characterisation of that kind. _You know, Anakin told me I sounded more and more like you. _

_What a rude insult. But don't worry, Anakin will still like you, even if you get a bit crazy in your old days. He's really fond of you. You should have heard the way he ranted at me. _

Suddenly, Obi-Wan had an odd sense of delight and he had to chuckle softly. _He did that?_

_Absolutely._

_You have my pity. He's really good at that. Nevertheless, you deserved it._

_This is unbelievable! _Qui-Gon pretended to be offended. _That's the thing about Padawans. You sacrificially train them for more than ten years and then they suddenly get cheeky._

_You call that cheeky? I certainly had worse experiences._

_Was Anakin so bad?_

_Not bad. But training him was extremely stressful. _

_Do you think I put a burden on you which was too heavy?_ Qui-Gon asked, all serious again.

Obi-Wan contemplated it for a very long time. He did not come to a conclusion. _I don't know, Master_, he finally said hesitantly. _It was difficult, especially at the beginning. But… I guess you grow with the tasks you have to do. Maybe I was still too young. I was still too busy with myself and sometimes I could not do Anakin justice. _

_I'm sure you did your best.__ You see, I didn't want to put Anakin in simply __**anyone**__'s care. I knew of his potential. But I also knew of his psyche. He felt close to you and he had known you as long as he had known me, and he liked you. Of course I could have entrusted him to Master Yoda's care. But do you think that would have worked? I guess sometimes it is not really important whether you have a teacher with great abilities or amazing educational skills. Anakin's midi-chlorians count is the highest count I've ever seen. He needed other things than instructions on how to use the Force._

Obi-Wan could not help but feel slightly guilty at Qui-Gon's words. _Yes, that was my mistake. I didn't realise what he needed during the first months I trained him. In the beginning, we weren't close at all. It took me quite some time to learn what it meant to be a Master. Anakin taught me that. _He did not explain it further. That was something personal, something between him and Anakin.

_That's how things ought to be_, Qui-Gon said appreciatively. _If a Padawan can also teach his Master, then the Master-Padawan-relationship is perfect._

_Perfect__?! Well, you have a very different idea of "perfect" than the rest of the galaxy. _It surprised Obi-Wan that he could laugh about it. _I can't remember a day we didn't argue about anything. Whether it was about his impatience, my narrow interpretation of the Jedi Code, his flying __**skills**__, his wish to be knighted... Never mind, we had a good time. _

_You had? I'm glad to hear that. I must say, I sometimes had a bad conscience because of all the things you had to go through and I wondered if I could have prevented it somehow…_

_That's shocking news. Since when do you think about another time but the __**Here and Now**__? Save your bad conscience for other things._

_Obi-Wan, I know I –_

_I was __**joking**__, Master_. Rolling his eyes, Obi-Wan stopped Qui-Gon from apologising for whatever.

_Are you sure?_ Qui-Gon said, sounding concerned.

_Absolutely_, Obi-Wan assured him.

_I'm afraid it's time for me to go now._

_Will you come back again?_

_Someday I will, yes. But not so soon. I need to rest now. And not even Anakin can bring me back._

_May the Force be with you, Master._

_May the Force be with you, Padawan. Ah, well, it's "Master Kenobi" now, isn't it? After all, you have been on the Council – something I never achieved._

_Oh, please stop that. I know very well what you think of the Council._

_And I know very well that it needs much, much more than just following the rules to be elected on the Council. I guess they didn't throw the dice in order to choose their members. You are wise and patient and very strong in the Living Force. You are a very capable Jedi Master and I didn't mean to insult you when I said you were on the Council…_

Qui-Gon's voice became quieter and quieter until it faded completely. Feeling slightly dizzy from such an intense meditation, Obi-Wan blinked his eyes open. It was a wonderfully calm night again, though a bit cold. Shivering and still agitated in a very odd way by the conversation, Obi-Wan slowly walked back to the little array of square houses. Anakin stood waiting in front of the door of the house where they currently stayed.

"Was it alright?" Anakin asked, concerned. Obi-Wan just nodded. "Feeling better?" Obi-Wan nodded again. He did not know what to say. And, anyway, if he had known what to say, he would not have been able to speak. Feeling somewhat self-conscious, he smiled sheepishly at Anakin. Anakin returned his smile and then he pulled Obi-Wan into a big hug. Obi-Wan was a bit surprised by that, but he certainly did not complain. Exhausted, he leant into the embrace, relishing the fact that he was allowed to be weak for a moment. Involuntarily, he winced slightly when Anakin's mechanical fingers dug tightly into his back.

"Oh, sorry," Anakin mumbled and loosened his grip. "I keep forgetting…"

"Why don't you wear gloves anymore?"

"Trust me, you don't want to hear the answer," Anakin said, and for a moment he sounded just like an extremely impudent Padawan Obi-Wan had once trained. "It's unbelievably stupid."

"Now I really want to know," Obi-Wan said, amused.

"Well, I…figured my hands would look scarier without gloves."

Although his eyes were full of tears, Obi-Wan had to laugh. Because it was such an Anakin-thing to do. "I think you can be scary enough without showing your hands."

"I already said it was unbelievably stupid," Anakin muttered, clearly embarrassed.

"Well, it worked on Luke, didn't it?" Obi-Wan just could not let this situation pass without teasing Anakin. And after all, Anakin certainly deserved it. "He thought your hands were sooo _creepy_, didn't he? So you got what you wanted." It seemed Anakin could not think of something intelligent to reply, so he just made an indignant noise and dug his glove-less durasteel fingers into Obi-Wan's back again. "Anakin, will you stop that!" Obi-Wan barked.

"So sorry, Master," Anakin replied unperturbedly.

"I'm sure you are… Anyway, how did things go between you and Luke?"

"Well enough, I think. He's…"

"Very adorable."

"Yes. He really is."

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**The next chapter is called "Meeting the Emperor" and the chapter after that is called "The Last of the Sith" and the chapter after that is called "Epilogue". It might take some time, however, because all three chapters are extremely long... What do you think should happen? It won't affect the story but I'm just curious to hear your theories ;-)**


	45. Meeting the Emperor

**We're close to the end now... Thanks again for reviewing!**

Anaya: **Yeah, everything's fine now, everyone has apologised... if it weren't for Sidious!**

Geri K: **You forgive Qui-Gon? Phew, that's good :) I was worried some might say "he did so much wrong, simply saying sorry is not enough". But then again, Anakin did much more wrong things...**

Lily Dragon: **lol, you're right, surviving in a galaxy far, far away in one piece is almost impossible... I always thought Obi-Wan was lucky that he never even lost an arm ;-)**

Sentrosi: **LOL, your idea was definitely the most creative one! It's gone by so fast? Well, I reread some of my first chapters yesterday because I needed some good quotes for this chapter and to me it was as if I had written those chapters a lifetime ago. Nevertheless, it was fun to read them again.**

Wawoot: **Reactor shaft? Hm... It's odd that the bad guys always (not only in Star Wars!) end up falling down into some infinite depth, isn't it? ;-)**

Jedi Knight 13: **I'm glad you liked the conversation between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. I guess Obi-Wan would have never become the great Jedi Master he is, if he had not trained Anakin and thus learned very much from his Padawan. I think that's what it says in Matthew Stover's Revenge of the Sith... that Obi-Wan learned to take risks, to relax etc.**

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_A few days later_…

Anakin stared at the white door and tried to find his inner calmness. He knew what – or rather: _who_ was behind that door. He sensed it in the smallest fibre of his being. The _Hero with no Fear_ was afraid. Afraid of himself and his own weakness. Next to him stood Obi-Wan and that was the only thing that somewhat calmed Anakin down. And made him even more afraid at the same time. Obi-Wan turned to look at him. He had typed in the code to open the door. All he had to do now was press the green acknowledgement key.

"Ready?" he softly asked Anakin.

His heart pounding and his throat dry, Anakin nodded. Obi-Wan placed his right hand on his lightsaber hilt and moved the other hand towards the green key but Anakin stopped him and put his hand on Obi-Wan's arm. It was important that he told this to Obi-Wan now. "Obi-Wan, when we're through that door, I can't guarantee anything anymore. I don't know what Sidious can make me do." He looked Obi-Wan right in the eye. "Maybe I'm going to say or do things that I don't want to do now. Sidious has much power over me and I don't know if I will be strong enough to fight against it."

Obi-Wan returned him a grave look and nodded slowly. "I understand." He sounded just as unsettled as Anakin felt. "If it is somehow possible, I'll try to help you."

Qui-Gon would have probably said something like: _You will do it. I know you are strong enough. I trust you. _But Obi-Wan's honest reply meant much more to Anakin. Because Obi-Wan understood. Anakin knew he could rely on that promise hundred percent. They exchanged one last grim look and then Obi-Wan pressed the green key. The door hissed open and, side by side, they entered the Emperor's throne room.

Unimpressed by their arrival, Sidious gazed down at them from his throne. "I had been waiting for you," he greeted them pleasantly.

Cold chills ran down Anakin's spine. Obi-Wan and he had made quite an effort of shielding their presence when they had sneaked into the imperial battle station. But Sidious had had already noticed them. That's why it had been so easy. That's why they had not run into a stormtrooper on their way here. Sidious had wanted them to arrive here. Again, he pulled the strings and everyone played along, including Anakin and Obi-Wan. What were his intentions this time? Had all of it been his plan? Had he willingly let them escape ten days ago? Was it a new devilish, clever move, which Anakin could not see through yet? Because how else could he have so easily knocked the Emperor out the last time? Normally, the Emperor was at least twice as strong as Anakin…

Obi-Wan placed a calming hand on Anakin's arm. He must have sensed Anakin's distress. "He's bluffing," Obi-Wan muttered quietly. "Shield your thoughts from him." Then he turned to Sidious and said loudly, "You're under arrest, Darth Sidious. If you surrender and come with us voluntarily, you will stay unharmed." Anakin almost had to grin. _Now who's bluffing?_

Sidious raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. "I am under arrest? May I ask in whose name?"

"In the name of the Republic and the Jedi Order," Obi-Wan explained calmly.

"Perhaps I should remind you that both do not exist anymore. Master Kenobi, your adherence to the old values is admirable but unfortunately it is also idle. Look at that." Sidious made a vast gesture to the great panoramic window, which showed an impressive view of the galaxy. "You see that? _That_ is reality: The Galactic Empire."

"Sorry to disappoint you," Obi-Wan said, untouched, "but it is your Empire which does not exist. Just because one person decides he wants to rule the galaxy, it isn't automatically reality. All those people," now Obi-Wan gestured to the window too, "are your opponents. So you could say we still live in a democracy and not under the rule of an empire. And concerning the Jedi Order's non-existence – well, two very alive Jedi are standing in front of you."

"Ah, I understand, Kenobi and Skywalker: the popular, invincible, _inseparable_ Jedi-Team. If I remember correctly, it was one of you who destroyed the majority of the Jedi, wasn't it?"

A moment ago, Anakin had been flattered by Obi-Wan still calling him a Jedi. That feeling quickly subsided now.

"If _I_ remember correctly, _you_ were the one responsible for it," Obi-Wan said grimly.

"Oh. Well, Lord Vader, what is your opinion on this?" Sidious addressed Anakin directly for the first time during the conversation. Anakin clenched his teeth.

"His name is Anakin Skywalker," Obi-Wan said immediately.

"And as it looks, you still haven't learned to speak for yourself," Sidious told Anakin challengingly.

"You can safe yourself the effort, Sidious," Anakin said quietly. "That won't work. I'm not an arrogant boy anymore, whose conceitedness you can exploit."

"And I always thought you were different and would not fall for the lies of the Jedi, who do not even allow you to have an opinion of your own," Sidious continued nonetheless.

Anakin turned to look at Obi-Wan. What Obi-Wan was saying sounded all very nice and it certainly was true but it were just words. Sidious probably would not accept he was the big baddie and just surrender to them. "Let's attack," Anakin said. "I have a feeling talking is not going to help much here."

"You could be right with that," Obi-Wan agreed softly. "Very well then."

Synchronously, they took their cloaks off and drew their lightsabers. Blue and red. Kenobi and Skywalker. The popular, invincible, _inseparable_ Jedi-Team.

"Then we finally get down to business," Sidious said satisfied, slowly rose from his throne and ignited his lightsaber as well. The three fighters encircled each other in silence. Only the lightsabers' humming filled the air which was thick with tension. "Master Kenobi, I am surprised to see you fight with a lightsaber again," Sidious said with a little, ironic smile. "Didn't your conscience forbid you to use it again after injuring your young friend so severely with it?"

"Lord Sidious," Anakin intervened, "you probably don't know it but that lightsaber already defeated two Sith-Lords. You will be the third." Strictly speaking, it was not the truth because Obi-Wan had used Qui-Gon's lightsaber in order to strike Darth Maul down but Sidious could not know that and it definitely sounded more impressive like that.

"Obviously, you are still the arrogant boy, who needs such boasting," Sidious taunted.

"Call it whatever you like," Anakin retorted. "It won't help you win either." With that, he attacked. Obi-Wan lunged forth at the same moment and attacked Sidious's left flank whereas Anakin aimed a blow at his right flank. Sidious parried both blades by a cross move of his own lightsaber. Obi-Wan and Anakin had not done more sparring after their first disastrous training match. Anakin had not dared a new attempt at meditation. They had not prepared for this mission as Master Yoda had told them. And yet they could stand up to Sidious, yes, more than that: Slowly but steadily, they forced him to back away.

Anakin listened completely to the Force and let it guide him. It was as if Obi-Wan was whispering in his ears where to go and how to strike. If Anakin relaxed a bit and did not think too much, he could almost believe he and Obi-Wan were back in General Grievous's Trade Federation Cruiser and were fighting Count Dooku together. Just that this time, Anakin would _not_ listen to Sidious. Never again. And at that moment, he realised: He was not Darth Vader, he was neither a Sith-Lord nor a Jedi Knight, he was not the Hero with no Fear. He was simply himself: Anakin Skywalker. He did not have to listen to anyone. Neither to Sidious nor to Obi-Wan. He did this alone. This was his way – his destiny. He did it because _he_ knew it was the right thing to do.

In the Force, Obi-Wan whispered to him to go to the right but Anakin did not listen to it. He saw something else. It was as clear as the lightsaber in front of him. After Anakin's next slash, Sidious would turn to the left. And that would be their victory. Anakin _knew_ it. He waited, jumped forward at the perfect moment, raised his lightsaber – and collided brutally with Obi-Wan, who had done exactly the same thing. Waking up from his frenzy, he recovered his balance. Immediately, Sidious exploited the situation. He Force-pushed Obi-Wan, who was slightly staggering from the collision as well, several feet away. Then he kicked Anakin's lightsaber out of his hands. Anakin was about to quickly retreat but that moment, a red laser wall, which separated the room into two parts, sprang to life. On the one side were Obi-Wan and Anakin's lightsaber and on the other side were Anakin and Sidious, who had a lightsaber. Fortunately, he deactivated it at once.

"I do not want to cause you any harm, Lord Vader. I never intended to do that. You forced me to do it. I had to defend my life."

Anakin knew very well what was going to come now: Sidious would try to lull him again. Anakin would have liked nothing more than to cover his ears. Then he suddenly remembered Yoda's words. _With a lightsabre, defeat a Sith-Lord you cannot. Find another way, you must._ How could the little Master have known this again?! But now were more pressing matters at hand than wondering about Yoda's foreseeing abilities. Hectically, Anakin contemplated his options. It looked pretty bad because he did not carry other weapons with him aside from his lightsaber. But he still had his grappling hook. Maybe he could…

While Sidious kept babbling about Obi-Wan causing Anakin lots of harm, Anakin slowly moved his hand towards his belt and severed the grappling hook. Then everything happened at lightning speed. Anakin threw the rope like a lasso and it noosed around Sidious's neck. Anakin tightened the noose but Sidious reacted immediately and effortlessly cut the rope with his lightsaber. _Okay, I've had better tactics_, Anakin thought disappointed, backing further away.

Sidious rubbed his neck and gave Anakin an almost pitying glance. "Why are you doing this?" he asked gently. "Don't you see it? But you've always had problems realising who your true friends are."

"How true," Anakin said darkly. "Unfortunately!"

"Just think," Sidious said urgently. "The Jedi just exploit you for their needs. You cannot seriously believe they forgive you for the Jedi genocide just like that. Now they're so few left of them, they need your power. They depend on you. That's the only reason why your so-called _friend_ Obi-Wan Kenobi turned up here. You really think he did it just as a friendly turn? When has he ever done something like that? All he cares for are the Jedi. It's cruel calculation. He knows that he does not stand a chance against me if he fights on his own."

"That's absurd!" Anakin retorted heatedly but he was not nearly as confident as he pretended to be. Sidious had once again discovered his secret fears – fears Anakin had assumed he had already overcome.

"It's the truth and you know it," Sidious went on. "Search your feelings, my young apprentice. You are the Chosen One and that's why the Jedi use you as their weapon. As soon as you have killed me and thus have fulfilled your duty, they will eliminate you, mark my words."

"He's lying," Obi-Wan said annoyed.

Yes, Sidious was telling lies again, wasn't he? Because the last days could not have been simply pretence. _Right?! _Or had it just been a clever move on Obi-Wan's part in order to regain Anakin's trust? Was it just a devilish plan of the Jedi? A calculation with lives, juggling the numbers until the bottom line looks best? But such thoughts were alien to the Jedi. Really? Had they not asked Anakin to spy on the Chancellor? Had they not used him in their political intrigues? But the Jedi had been right, the Chancellor had emerged as the wanted Sith-Lord. But what if it was not Sidious who was lying but Obi-Wan?

"You see, my apprentice?" Sidious sneered. "The only counter-argument the usually so eloquent Negotiator can think up is to accuse me of lying. As you can see, he does not have any counter-evidence. _He_ is the one here who's lying and who's trying to win you over by flattering you."

"Anakin, I've never lied to you," Obi-Wan said. "Well, alright, once I did when I told you Jedi were not allowed to watch pod races on Holonet…"

These simple words were enough to dispel all doubt. The fog of lies which had threatened to suffocate him faded into nothingness. Anakin almost had to grin when he remembered how stupid he had been to fall for the silly lie that Jedi were not allowed to watch pod races. His relief and confidence, however, quickly dissolved again when he noticed Sidious's expression. It seemed the Emperor had finally realised he could not get Anakin on his side like this. He looked _very _angry. That was not good. And Anakin was still separated from his lightsaber by the laser wall. That was even worse. There was nothing he could do to stop Sidious from gripping him and putting his lightsaber at Anakin's throat.

"Let's see how honest you are now that the life of your young friend is threatened," Sidious hissed at Obi-Wan.

"What exactly is it you want from me?" Obi-Wan asked through gritted teeth.

"Not much. I only want you to lay down your weapon and tell me the Jedi base's coordinates. That is not such a high prize in exchange for both your lives."

"And of course we have _your word_ on it that you'll just let us go then, right?" Anakin taunted.

"Careful. If you are so cheeky, I'll have to use my lightsaber on you and cut off your tongue," Sidious threatened.

"You can't honestly think I fall for something like that," Obi-Wan said derisively.

"That is rather irrelevant," Sidious said smugly. "You do not have much of a choice. I am the one who makes the conditions."

That, unfortunately, was true. The really bad thing about it was that Obi-Wan only had the choice between leaving Anakin to die, or betraying the Jedi _and_ leaving Anakin to die. Because Anakin did not consider for a second Sidious would really let them go after Obi-Wan had told him where the Jedi base was.

"Very well then," Obi-Wan told Sidious. "Please open the laser wall so I can hand you my lightsaber over."

"You can't honestly think I fall for _that_," Sidious said superiorly. "It's perfectly alright if you just put your lightsaber down next to the laser wall and then go a few steps back. And never forget: If you do not do as I tell you, your friend will pay for it."

Slowly and warily, Obi-Wan approached the laser wall, bent down and put his lightsaber on the floor. Just as slowly, he straightened up again and retreated.

"Very well done," Sidious appraised him.

"The rest of the Jedi are currently on Ragoon 6," Obi-Wan said, staring down at the floor.

"Don't you lie!!!" Sidious suddenly roared, making Anakin jump so that the skin at his throat got slightly singed by the red lightsaber. Anakin could only hope Obi-Wan was hiding his thoughts of Uresi well enough. Desperately, Anakin tried to think of anything else. It was not very easy if you had a lightsaber at your throat, whose heat and energy were too sensible on the sensitive neck's skin. He thought of Padmé and summoned up a picture of her in his mind. Her intelligent brown eyes, which would sometimes shine warmly but which could also flare dangerously on other occasions like political debates.

"_Ani."_

"Pa – Padmé?" he croaked disbelievingly. It could not be true. How could it be possible that he heard her voice now? But it was definitely her voice, he would have recognised it amongst thousand other voices.

"_I love you__,"_ she said softly.

Confused, Anakin took a look around but she was nowhere to be seen. Of course not. She was dead. _Or maybe not? I never saw her die. Could it be…? _He hardly dared to hope.

"_Yes, Anakin, I am dead."_

Desperation overwhelmed him. "I… Padmé… I'm so sorry for what I did…"

"_Why, Anakin? Why did you do it?"_

"I'm so sorry, I wanted to save you, I was so afraid of losing you!"

"_You promised to save me but instead you abandoned me!"_

"I should have been with you when you…" He could not go on. Broken-hearted, he was shaken by sobs.

"_You promised!"_

"I-I tried, Padmé." Weakly, he sank down on his knees and covered his eyes with his hands. "I tried everything, I tried, but… I'm so sorry, so sorry… I tried everything."

"No, you didn't," he heard Sidious's soft voice. "You did not execute my order. If you had killed every single Jedi as I told you, you would have been strong enough to save her."

Anakin covered his ears. He did not want to listen anymore. He knew he could not endure another word. But Padmé's voice continued mercilessly in his mind.

"_You promised me, Anakin! You betrayed me! You betrayed my love for you! You could have been strong! You were not strong enough to save me, but now you must at least save our child! Promise me you'll save__ him! Fulfil my final wish!"_

_Wait a moment…_ Anakin frowned in deep thought. Did Padmé just say "our child"? She did not say "our children"? But Padmé knew they had twins. After all, she had named them. And that meant, when she said "our child"… that meant the voice Anakin was hearing was not Padmé's. Of course it was not. Padmé had never asked him to save her. She had never wanted him to become a murderer. _All I want is your love._ That's what she had said on Mustafar. And he had failed to understand. He remembered Geonosis. Padmé had confronted her own execution fearlessly. She would have preferred death to betraying her ideals.

"Don't you dare to use her!" Anakin snarled at Sidious.

Sidious did not threaten him with his lightsaber any longer. He approached Anakin, who still knelt on the floor, and put a warm hand on his shoulder. "I can understand how you feel. But didn't you notice something? You heard her voice, she was talking to you. She is not completely lost yet. Join me and together we can raise Padmé from the dead. You can fulfil your promise to her."

"_Don't touch me!_" Anakin viciously shoved Sidious's hand away, jumped on his feet and backed away. "Just forget about it. I will not join you. _Never again!_ At no price!"

"Are you sure?"

Something in that question made Anakin's blood turn cold. "Yes, I am sure."

"And what if the price is your son?"

Anakin froze. "What do you mean?"

Sidious smiled. "Yes, your son is here," he said calmly. "The Force is strong in _Luke_. If you refuse me, I'll need a new apprentice."

"_No!_" Anakin and Obi-Wan yelled together. "No, you wouldn't," Anakin gasped. "I beg you: Let him go!"

"Well, that's easy. You just have to join me and nothing will happen to your son. Make your decision: It's either you or him."

Anakin did not have a choice. Of course he would never leave Luke in the Emperor's hands. Anakin would perhaps be able to somehow resist him. Or he would better commit suicide as soon as Luke was free. He did not have a choice. He caught Obi-Wan's eye. Although Obi-Wan's face was bathed in the laser wall's red light, it was clearly visible all the colour had left his face. But Obi-Wan understood. He would have done the same for Luke.

"Well, Master Kenobi," Sidious said complacently, "I'm afraid things have changed now. If you don't tell me the Jedi base's coordinates now, your resistance will not only cause Darth Vader's death but it will also make Luke my new apprentice."

At that moment, realisation hit Anakin. "Obi-Wan!" he shouted. "He's lying, he's lying! Luke's not here because then he'd know where the Jedi are! And he wouldn't be interested in the Jedi base anymore! He just wanted to know because of Luke, he's not interested in the other Jedi!" Anakin allowed himself a little smile. "And I hope Darth Vader is already dead," he added softly. Obi-Wan, however, looked relieved for only a short time. The smile froze on Anakin's lips as well when he realised what he had just said: He had granted Obi-Wan permission to leave him here to die. And right, Sidious had already ignited his lightsaber again. Against his better judgement, Anakin hoped Obi-Wan would not abandon him here. _This is not about abandoning_, he reprimanded himself for his selfish wishes. A Jedi should be selfless. Obi-Wan was a Jedi. And Anakin should be a Jedi too. When Sidious roughly grabbed his arm and put the lightsaber on his throat again, Anakin almost felt something like pride.

"Now we're again where we were before," Sidious turned to Obi-Wan. "Either the coordinates of the Jedi base or Vader's life. Hurry up with your decision. Let's stop playing around."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "Fine. I will not betray the Jedi."

"As you wish. I warned you. No more fun and games. I'm going to dismember Vader bit by bit until I get the information I need. I'm serious about it."

Obi-Wan remained silent with a stoic expression on his face. Next moment, a piercing pain raced through Anakin's body. With a loud cry, he tumbled to the floor. Dark spots swam in front of his eyes. Dimly he became aware that the thing lying in front of him on the floor was his left arm. Sidious had cut it off just where the prosthesis ended, thus making Anakin experience the pain in his own flesh. Sidious's voice echoed in his head like a loud rushing.

"If you don't speak, I'm going to cut off his other arm too. Then one leg. Then the other leg. And then his head."

Anakin neither had the strength to speak nor to sit up. All he could see was his dissevered mechanical arm with just a little bit of bloody flesh stinging to it, and the red laser wall behind it. The pain brought tears to his eyes and then even the last bit of his vision blurred. He could just hope he would quickly pass out because of the pain and would not have to experience what Sidious still planned to do with him. Then he was brutally hauled to his feet.

"This is how you wanted it. So it's the other arm now." Sidious raised his lightsaber and Anakin quickly closed his eyes.

"_STOP!_" he suddenly heard Obi-Wan's voice. Anakin slowly opened his eyes again (it took him some time to take his surroundings in) and saw, to his great relief, that Sidious's lightsaber had paused in midair close to his arm.

"Alright… I'm going to tell you," Obi-Wan said, his voice shaking, and stepped towards the laser wall. Terror was written all over his face.

"Wonderful. I knew we would somehow come to an agreement," Sidious said, satisfied.

Anakin had the feeling of being left out. There had to be something he misunderstood completely. It could not be true that Obi-Wan was really willing to give away the Jedi's secret base just like that. It could not be true that all of this had been for nothing, right? But maybe Anakin's head was still so foggy from the pain… He just could not make sense of it…

"I'm sorry, Anakin," Obi-Wan said softly. And when he used the Force to call Anakin's and his own lightsaber in his hand and hurriedly left the throne room, Anakin finally understood: Obi-Wan had never intended to betray the Jedi. If Obi-Wan was not here anymore to watch Sidious dismember Anakin, there was no reason anymore for Sidious to torture Anakin. Certainly, Sidious would torture him nonetheless as a punishment for his betrayal but it probably would be over more quickly.

_I'm sorry, Anakin._ Obi-Wan's last words to Anakin… Anakin's heart clenched painfully at the thought. Goodbye, that's what it was. _You didn't have to say that. Of course I know you're sorry for leaving me here to die._ Anakin just whished he had said something too. But probably he did not have to say anything as well. _He knows what I would have said if I had been able to formulate a clear thought._

Anakin faintly registered how Sidious ordered everyone on board to search for the fleeing Jedi and to kill him. Anakin really hoped Obi-Wan was quick enough and still remembered how they had got out of here the last time. Sidious called six stormtroopers to him who were to deal with Anakin, then he deactivated the laser wall and went in search of Obi-Wan too.

Still numb with pain, Anakin staggered along with the stormtroopers, whose blasters were directed at him, ready to fire. When he finally found himself in front of a thick, shining white door, he became aware where he had been brought: It was the torture chamber. It was an irony of fate that he was to spend the last hours of his life in this cell, to which he had condemned so many people. _Somehow it's fitting_, Anakin thought while he was being tied to the torture rack. _And it's fair. _According to Luke's sense of justice. _But they have to be killed! They're evil if they cut off your hands! They hurt you! _An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. If life was like that, Anakin would have to stay tied to that rack for thousand years.

With a little hiss, the door closed behind the six stormtroopers, and Anakin was left alone with the shining, spark, menacing equipment. Alone in his death. Was this his fate? Being alone? He had been alone – and had been left alone – often in his life, much too often. Every time he had found human closeness, it had been taken away from him.

The torture rack slowly started moving and Anakin's body was being pulled into an awkward position.

What would it feel like to transform into the Force? When he left his conscious self behind and was united with the wholeness of the Force… No more loneliness, no more guilt, no past that was haunting you, no trials, no suffering… just… peace. Anakin had always feared death but now the idea of dying seemed suddenly soothing.

He cried loudly when his body was excruciatingly slowly pulled into a more and more grotesque angle. It had to be over at some point… How could his body be able to endure it? He must be ripped into two any moment…

But it went on and on.

Oooooooo

Anakin had stopped screaming a long time ago. He did not have the strength for that anymore. He had completely lost track of time. It felt as if he had already been here for several days. Maybe he had been… But he supposed it had only been a few hours so far. He was still tied to the torture rack. He wished they would finally use another torture device on him. Anything. Just not that damn torture rack! Or if it could just pull him into another direction for a change!

Sometimes he was unconscious for a little time. Then again there were moments of terrifying clarity. Now was such a moment. He hardly sensed his body anymore but his thoughts were perfectly clear. Anakin used this moment in order to bid farewell to the world. He did not have any illusion concerning that. He knew he would die. Right now, he would have given anything in order to speed up the process. He was sure Obi-Wan would have liked to get him out of here but Anakin did not summon up false hope. This battle station was a strange place to Obi-Wan, there were hundreds of stormtroopers chasing him and he had to go back to Uresi as quickly as possible in order to warn the other Jedi because it could very well happen that Anakin gave something away in his current dreamlike, confused state. And once Obi-Wan had left the battle station, there was no way for him to return because now that Sidious knew Anakin was not willing to join him again, and Obi-Wan was not willing to betray the Jedi, there was no reason for him to allow someone to get here as easily as that. He would give the guards orders to shoot every strange approaching ship. He would create new codes. It was impossible to invade the battle station again. There was nothing else Anakin could do but wish Obi-Wan good luck. _Goodbye, Obi-Wan, old friend. May the Force be with you. _He hoped Obi-Wan would be able to have a happier life again and would not always suffer from the wounds of the past. Maybe Luke and Beru could help him. Yes, they would make a good little family. Anakin also wished the Jedi Order all the best – and not only because the Jedi Order meant so much to Obi-Wan. Although Anakin still had some reservations concerning the Order, he could not deny that the galaxy needed the Jedi. That the Jedi wanted to do good. That they would never willingly harm someone. That they fought for peace, justice and freedom. Anakin was proud of having once been part of that group of peacekeepers. The thought that his son – and maybe his daughter too if she was Force sensitive as well – would become a Jedi later, made him really proud. But he hoped with all his heart that his children would be spared from their father's fate.

Suddenly, the door was opened. It was Darth Sidious. "Lord Vader. How are you?"

Anakin thought that was the stupidest question he had ever been asked in his whole life. Therefore he saved himself the effort of answering.

"I regret I have to treat you like this," Sidious lamented, "but that seems to be the only way to get through to you." He waited for Anakin to reply but when the latter did not say anything, he continued. "I am still willing to accept you as my apprentice again. You just have to tell me where the Jedi hide and together we will track them down and kill them and free your son."

"No." This one word already cost Anakin quite an effort. He did not have the strength to say more.

"Well, if this is what you want… Think about it. I will be back in an hour and then we can talk about it again."

Anakin would have liked to give a sarcastic answer like _I'm looking forward to it_ but his lips did not manage to form the words.

When Sidious had gone, Anakin contemplated this odd situation. Ten days ago, he would have compliantly agreed with Sidious. Hunting the Jedi and freeing his son from their grasp would have been the obvious thing to do. And now, he suddenly did not want to be the cruel Darth Vader anymore, he wanted to entrust his son to the Jedi from whom he originally had wanted to save him. He was willing to go to the point to sacrifice his own life for the very Jedi he had despised so much. Things would have been _much_ easier if Obi-Wan had not showed up ten days ago. Anakin would have been spared so many things. The torture right now, his inner conflict and the emotional pain which had come when he had finally come to understand the consequences of his actions as Darth Vader. Things could have been much easier for him. And yet, Anakin did not want to exchange those ten days for anything. In such a short amount of time, he had been given so much – he had been given so much _back_. He had caught a glimpse of the real greatness of the Force – something he had not been able to recognise in his arrogance before. Obi-Wan had taught him how to believe in something again. And Luke had given something to him he had thought he could never find again after Padmé's death: meaning of life. Yes, Anakin had started finding himself. And just now, when there was hope for him again, his life was about to end.

With sudden clarity, he realised something that had been running like a thread through his life: He had never been satisfied. He had always expected more from life, from other people and, most of all, from himself. He had never settled for the little things but had always wanted to get or achieve everything right then. Driven by a morbid restlessness, he had never learned to just stop for a moment, slow down, take a deep breath and look back. He had never succeeded in accepting things for what they were. Was that which was his doom? Anakin tried to accept now but acceptance did not make the regret go away. There were many things Anakin regretted. Obviously, he regretted all the crimes he had committed as a Sith. He regretted the harm he had caused to the Jedi Order. He regretted having hurt Obi-Wan and Padmé so much – the two persons who meant the world to him. At least he had been able to apologise to Obi-Wan but Padmé… he could never make amends for that. He regretted he had not been able to spend more time with Luke. He wished he had seen Luke's first attempt at walking, he wished he had heard Luke's first words and he wished he could see him grow up into a young man. But more than anything else, Anakin regretted the fact that he had never seen his daughter. That's what he would have lived on for. He would give everything if he could just see her – _just once_ – before he died.

Ooooooo

Sidious came back. "Well? Did you rethink your decision?"

"No."

"It might influence your decision to know that Obi-Wan Kenobi is dead."

The dread that filled Anakin at Sidious's words only lasted for half a second. "I'd have felt it in the Force," he declared, convinced.

"Your senses were mostly focussed on pain during the last hours."

"Obi-Wan's death would feel like pain to me." _Another sort of pain but you probably wouldn't understand that._

"I'm sorry to say so but we brought down his starfighter. There's no way he could have survived it. You must have missed it during your unconsciousness."

Anakin smiled a tiny smile between all the pain he was experiencing. "I wouldn't only feel his death as a disturbance in the Force. If he was really dead, I would feel emptiness now where our bond is."

Sidious gave him an odd look.

Ooooooo

The next time Sidious came, he poured some horrible liquid down Anakin's throat. The liquid burned his flesh and it felt as if he was being eaten from the inside out. He was screaming something which was meant to mean "_WATER! WATER! WATER!_" and Sidious laughed and laughed and laughed.

Ooooooo

Blurry images drifted through his mind. He was in a delirious state and relived stages of his life.

_A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. I __sense much fear in you._

_Now __I__ tell you something! No matter how many Midi-Chlorians you have – you will never – __never__ – become a Jedi! The Council has recognised this! You will never be a Jedi! Because you're already too tainted inside! Because you're a __slave_

_Anakin, training to be a Jedi will not be a__n easy challenge. And if you succeed, it will be a hard life._

_You can't stop change any more than you can stop the suns from setting._

_I don't need this to remember you. Many things__ will change when we reach the capital, Ani. My caring for you will always remain._

_Why do you have such hands?_

_If we fail, then maybe some of the kids Master Yoda trains will succeed many years later. Or your children. Who knows…_

That was strange… It was said Anakin was the Chosen One. And now he simply died here without fulfilling the prophecy? Or was he to bring balance to the Force in an indirect way? Did being the father of the children who one day would destroy the Sith make him the Chosen One? Or was Obi-Wan still here and about to kill the Emperor? Had Anakin fulfilled the prophecy by bringing Obi-Wan here? And if Anakin died now, the second of the Sith was gone too. That was almost a Master-Yoda-interpretation of the prophecy. Okay, most of the times Master Yoda's ideas _did_ prove to be right…

_This mission a test is for you. Prove you will if a Jedi you can become again._

_You've always been like a brother to me, Anakin._

_Anakin, all I want is your love._

_Is __this__ what we're fighting for? Is this the future we want for our children? We have to be role-models! How can we fight for the __good __if we destroy our own principles?_

_Maybe I love you too, a little bit, I think._

_Not everything has been destroyed. Someday things will look better again. And it's a new start. Maybe it is a chance to learn from the mistakes of the past and make things better this time._

All of a sudden, Anakin's mind became very clear again. When Obi-Wan had told him that – _learning from the mistakes, making things better next time_ – Anakin had been mostly surprised because Obi-Wan criticised the Jedi Order so openly. But now Anakin understood what else Obi-Wan had wanted to say. _He did not only speak of the Jedi Order. He also spoke of us. _And Anakin knew with certainty: _Obi-Wan will come and get me out of here. He will not leave me alone. He will come…_

Ooooooo

There were sounds all around Anakin. Loud sounds, shrill, ear-splitting noise. He could not say anymore if the noise was a new way of torture that Sidious used on him or if it only existed in his imagination, caused by the unbearable pain. Lights were dancing in front of his eyes. The bright colours hurt his eyes. The colours changed quickly – it was a wild flickering. If it lasted one more second, he would go insane. Or maybe he already was.

_He will come._

With this certainty and the knowledge that he had somehow fulfilled the prophecy, Anakin was completely satisfied for the first time in his life.

_He will come._

It was the only thought that still worked. A desperate hope to which he clung. But he was absolutely certain of it.

_He will come._

And then everything went black.


	46. The Last of the Sith

**Finally! This is the longest chapter I have ever written... Thanks for your lovely reviews - they really inspired me to work so hard on this and made me want to finish it quickly. **

**Warning: This chapter includes torture and some ugly images... But as it is rated T, it should be okay. It's not worse than Anakin burning on Mustafar, I guess.**

arzum: **Spike? Buffy? Uh...yeah. To be honest, I have no idea who they are ;-) Probably a TV series I don't know... Anyway, thanks a lot for reviewing!**

Nimloth4th: **Thank you very much! You'll soon find out...**

Anaya: **Yes, poor Anakin. Poor, poor, poor Anakin... He did so many wrong things but I can't help but feel sorry for him.**

Lily Dragon: **Thanks! I can't really say much more, lol, just read and find out!**

Jedi Knight 13: **Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked Anakin's contemplations. Will he survive? Hm...**

Sentrosi: **Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I read it and it just reminded me once again that I'm very happy I don't have to go to school anymore. University is much, much better! ... Okay, I decided to dedicate this chapter to you because you had such a bad time. Enjoy:)**

LJP: **Uh, I hope the torture was not too disturbing... Well, the Emperor _is_ evil. I'm glad you liked the emotional parts. Thanks for reviewing!**

Heppan: **Thank you so much for your kind words :) I know this feeling when you get hooked by a fanfic and read until late in the night and feel like crap the next morning, lol, I feel flattered that my fanfic did that to you ;-) I hope you like the ending of this story just as much!**

teufelinchen: **Thank you so much!!! Your review really made me want to update quickly. I'm so glad you like this fanfic and... well, I write fanfiction because I couldn't stand the end of Episode 3 and writing fanfiction helps me get over the trauma of it - so, yes, I want to change things ;-) I understood your English very well...okay, English is not my first language either... are you from Germany too? Just wondering, because your email address sounds very German (or Austrian?) I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long with the update... **

* * *

In Anakin's head there was a buzzing and growling. It felt as if he was moving. An odd feeling of freedom. Something was wrong with his body. It was strangely twisted. But he could not see what was wrong because there were still the flickering lights in front of his eyes. Everything _hurt_ like hell. Suddenly he fell to the floor. One more unbearable shot of pain raced through his body. He heard a voice. Though he did not understand the words, he was sure it was Obi-Wan. 

_Everything's fine then…_

His body was lifted up and if Anakin had had the strength, he would have screamed at the pain it caused him. He felt around for Obi-Wan when he realised he did not have a hand at his left arm anymore. Not good…

"Anakin… What have they done to you…," he heard Obi-Wan's soft voice.

Anakin guessed he was in Obi-Wan's arms and slowly he was able to recognise shadows. In spite of his pain, a broad grin spread over his face. "I knew you'd come," he croaked.

He felt Obi-Wan's fingers at his neck. Carefully, Obi-Wan removed something which had been at Anakin's neck. Another torture device. Probably something like a spiked chain. Anakin grunted in pain when the spikes left his skin. "_Damn it_," Obi-Wan whispered and then something rattled. It sounded as if Obi-Wan had thrown the spiked chain somewhere. Bit by bit, the flickering shadows in front of his eyes faded and he could recognise Obi-Wan, who was bent over him and looked thoroughly worried.

"Ouch," Anakin whined in a small voice when Obi-Wan started rubbing his back. It was certainly meant to make Anakin relax and make the pain go away but it did quite the contrary to Anakin. Nevertheless, he had to grin all the time. Obi-Wan had to think he had gone insane during the torture… "I'm not grinning because I'm completely mental, Obi-Wan," Anakin said. The words hurt in his throat. It was all raw and dry. "I'm just happy because you came."

Finally, he could recognise Obi-Wan's face. He was smiling weakly and his eyes were shining moistly. "I'm happy you're still able to grin. Here, you need to drink something." Obi-Wan put a drinking bag at his lips. Greedily, Anakin swallowed the cool water. He could not get enough of it. He drank too quickly, choked on it and burst into a fit of coughs. Obi-Wan had to clap him hard on his back until he finally calmed down. Now his lungs burned even more.

"Ouch," he moaned miserably, "everything hurts so much." He buried his face in Obi-Wan's tunic and tightly squeezed his eyes shut.

Obi-Wan sighed. "I'm sorry it took me so long."

"How much time did I spend in here?"

"Almost eight hours."

Anakin groaned. "Every minute in here feels like eternity."

Obi-Wan brushed Anakin's hair aside in order to examine the wound at his neck. "Stars End, how can people be so cruel," he muttered, his voice between disgust and incredulity.

"Obi-Wan… Have you any idea how many people had to endure something like this or even worse… because I sent them here…" Anakin felt Obi-Wan hold his breath for a tiny moment but his hand kept rubbing Anakin's back. "Sidious said he had brought down your starfighter," Anakin said.

"Oh no. Poor arfour… I told him to fly back and deliver a message so Master Yoda knew what had happened."

"Well, the idea was good… How did you manage to get in here, anyway?" Anakin asked curiously.

"I hid on the toilettes for hours, tried to shield my presence in the Force, and then, when they'd stopped searching for me because they thought I was already dead, I went to some of the on-board computers and looked up your position. You'd told me the code last time, so that was not such a big problem. Well, and then I came here."

"Easy."

"Of course."

"Why didn't you try to escape together with arfour?"

"Well, we still haven't completed our mission, right?"

Anakin groaned. He had almost forgotten about that. "So what about Sidious?"

"What about him? I don't know, he must still be lurking somewhere in this station."

"You probably should have tried to kill him instead of getting me out of here."

"Oh, thanks, would you have preferred to stay here?"

"Not really, but –"

"_You _are the Chosen One, Anakin. I still believe you can do this."

Anakin snorted. He did not really like to hear that.

"Anyway, that's the official reason, okay?" Obi-Wan continued and for some reason there was a hint of amusement in his voice. "That's what you have to tell everyone in case this mission fails and we have to explain ourselves."

"Oh. Right." Anakin grinned. "And what's the unofficial reason?"

"Well, I owe you something, don't I? What's the score now?"

"Uh… Eleven to six, I guess."

"_Eleven?!_" Obi-Wan exclaimed. "Now you're really getting delusional."

"Last time here, I saved your life."

"That doesn't count. It was your fault."

"Oh, like Cato Neimoidia, right?"

"Exactly."

"Hm… okay, nine to six then." Gradually, Anakin's senses awoke again. The pain was still there but at least his head was clear again. That was when he realised he was still clinging to Obi-Wan like a frightened youngling. Slightly embarrassed, he straightened up on his shaky legs. They were so wobbly that they immediately buckled. Knee-jerk, he grabbed for Obi-Wan's shoulder in order to steady himself but again he had not taken his missing left hand into account. He toppled over and Obi-Wan cursed loudly when Anakin landed on his shin.

"_Aargh!_"

"_Ouch!_"

Groaning, Anakin crawled away. He threw Obi-Wan, who was furiously rubbing his right shin, a quick glance and then quickly looked away in order to hide his grin. "Erm – could you help me get up?"

"Sure. Why didn't you ask right away?" Grinning now too, Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin under his arms and pulled him on his feet. "Focus on your legs. Let the Force flow through them."

"Of course, Master." Anakin swayed wildly but somehow he managed to remain standing.

"Here's your lightsaber." Obi-Wan handed him his lightsaber back. "But maybe it would help more if you lay down in Sidious's way and made him trip over you."

"Haha, very funny," Anakin grumbled. "I'm such an idiot! We could have already finished him off if I hadn't been so dumb to get in your way. I'm such a complete idiot…"

"Yeah, that's what I thought when we jumped into each other… Never mind, now we have at least the chance to do _this_!" And with that, Obi-Wan activated his lightsaber and cut the torture rack in two. He struck at it several more times until it was definitely no longer useful. Then he dealt with the other torture instruments.

"Hey, wait, I want to help!" Anakin shouted and jumped into the fray. From time to time, his legs gave away and he staggered but his movements were getting steadier and steadier. Finally there was nothing left of the torture instruments but junk. Very satisfied with their work, Anakin deactivated his lightsaber. "Now all we have to do is defeat Sidious," he said, grinning. "Any idea where he could be?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if the noise had already attracted him…"

In confirmation of Obi-Wan's words, the door opened and two stormtroopers entered. Their blasters were directed at Anakin and Obi-Wan.

"Oh, hello," Anakin said and in one swift movement, he and Obi-Wan knocked the blasters out of their hands. Confused, the two men stared down at their smoking blasters on the floor.

"You will bring this junk into the garbage masher," Obi-Wan said, using a Jedi mind trick. Immediately, the stormtroopers made to collect the broken pieces.

"There's no need to order new torture instruments," Anakin said, subtly moving his fingers.

"I don't think we'll need new torture instruments," one of the stormtroopers said as if the thought had just occurred to him. His comrade nodded in agreement.

"And you will tell no one of this incident," Obi-Wan added.

"We will tell no one of this incident."

"Thank you very much," Anakin said.

"You're welcome."

While the stormtroopers were pursuing their cleanup efforts, Obi-Wan and Anakin headed for the Emperor's throne room once again.

"Here we are again," Anakin said when they found themselves in front of the white door.

"Yes, it's the same situation we had eight hours before."

"Apart from me having one arm fewer."

"True… Shall we?" Obi-Wan gestured towards the door. Anakin nodded and once again they entered the throne room.

"Hello there, Emperor," Obi-Wan greeted pleasantly. Sidious opened his eyes wide in shock when he saw Obi-Wan alive and well. "I take it you still don't want to surrender? I have to ask for the sake of order because otherwise we could get into trouble later."

Meanwhile, Sidious had got a grip on himself, grabbed his comlink and barked orders. "All hands to the throne room! I'm under attack by two Jedi!"

His lightsaber raised, Obi-Wan stormed towards Sidious. Anakin, however, did not join in the fight but, using the Force, closed all the doors to the throne room. Still, several stormtroopers had already got in. Twenty, at least. Then Anakin had the rescuing idea: He activated the laser wall and all at once, the stormtroopers were locked off behind it. With his lightsaber, he melted the switch so no one could deactivate the laser wall. Then he turned to the fight between Obi-Wan and Sidious. With an odd feeling of fascination, Anakin watched his two "Masters" duelling. Sidious was clearly the one who was more powerful but as Obi-Wan was a really great defensive fighter, he could stand his ground. But he was not strong enough to win like that. Instead of intervening in the fight, Anakin used the Force to throw things with at Sidious. The Emperor could repel the flying objects but it drew on his strength and concentration. He was not able to attack Obi-Wan as viciously as before anymore and he was tiring more and more. From experience, Anakin knew that was the fault in a fighting style relying too much on power, fast attacks and hard blows. Obi-Wan's tactic paid off. He parried Sidious's strikes with patience and pertinacity. It was a nip and tuck battle now. Anakin decided now was the time to engage. He summoned the Force around him and drew his lightsaber. With a series of wild strikes, he pushed Sidious back. His enfeebled body felt completely light all of a sudden. Without any difficulty, he jumped, spun, somersaulted and swirled his lightsaber with only one hand. He did not have to think. Thinking and defence were Obi-Wan's jobs. Obi-Wan was always there when Sidious aimed a deathly blow at Anakin's unguarded left flank. Sidious was already exhausted from the back-breaking duel against Obi-Wan and the flying objects from Anakin. Thus Anakin had a walk-over. Everything was easy and obvious. It was just about finding the little faults in Sidious's fighting, and striking at the right moment. Anakin _knew_ now was the right moment.

One, two, three – _wham!_ He severed Sidious's swordshand and the lightsaber and the arm fell to the floor. Sidious let out a shriek of pain, sank on his knees and immediately he had two blades at his neck. A red and a blue lightsaber. The image was horribly familiar to Anakin. He shivered when he recognised the fear in the eyes of the Sith Lord, who was looking up at him.

"Now what?" he uncertainly asked Obi-Wan.

"It's your decision."

Undecidedly, Anakin stared down at the defeated Emperor. When he had killed Count Dooku like that, it had been a step towards the dark side. Then again… it had been thoroughly wrong to stop Mace Windu from killing Sidious. The thoughts, images and memories in Anakin's head started spinning. The after-effects of the exhausting fight became apparent. He heard Palpatine's voice again. _Good, Anakin, good. Kill him. Kill him now! Do it!!! _Then Mace Windu's. _I am going to end this once and for all. He has too much control of the Senate and the Courts. He is too dangerous to be kept alive. _Palpatine's voice again. _I can't ... I give up. Help me. I am weak ... I am too weak. Don't kill me. I give up. I'm dying. I can't hold on any longer._ Finally Obi-Wan's voice. _It's your decision_. Yes, this time Anakin would make his own decision. No one was going to manipulate him. The moment seemed to stretch into eternity. What was the right decision? Was there a right decision at all? _You just have to decide what's the right thing to do in this specific moment, that's all you can do. Keep to the Jedi Code and to Qui-Gon's teachings – then things shouldn't go wrong. And if they do, then it's not in your power to change it. Then it's the Will of the Force_.

"Erm… The Jedi Code forbids killing an unarmed prisoner, right?" Anakin said hesitantly.

"Yes…" Obi-Wan looked expectantly at him.

"Well… He is an unarmed prisoner and that means killing him now would be wrong. So he should stand trial. Ah, that is… We will bring him in front of the Jedi Council and the Council decides his fate. Is that okay?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "I'll see if I can find some handcuffs."

"You can flip up the first step at the throne. In there are some handcuffs," Anakin explained. His blade was still close to Sidious's neck so the Emperor could not escape. In the meantime, Anakin's gaze rested on the twenty stormtroopers who were still locked between the laser wall and the closed doors. They should somehow free them – but without being in danger of getting attacked by the stormtroopers. Complicated… Maybe he could hold them off by threatening to chop off their Emperor's head if they did any wrong –

"_Anakin!_" he suddenly heard Obi-Wan's warning cry.

Anakin whirled around and saw a red blade thrusting towards his chest. Without thinking, he ducked down and slashed his lightsaber wildly through the air. He cut right through Sidious's legs. Sidious dropped down in a crumpled heap and the risen lightsaber fell from his weak hand. Staring at the mess he had created, Anakin backed away. Half a second later, Obi-Wan landed where Sidious had just stood moments before but now Obi-Wan's lightsaber only cut through the empty air. He heaved a sigh of relief. When Anakin deactivated his lightsaber and put it back at his belt, his hand was shaking violently. That had been pretty close. It could have been him who lay on the floor now, drawing his last rattling breaths. Sidious's body convulsed in agony and his breath came in hitched gasps. The darkness still swirled around him, not ready to let go of his life. His pathetic, dark life filled with hate and even in his death, the hate clung to him and refused to die. Anakin averted his gaze; the sight made him sick.

Yes, it could have been him lying there, dying alone in the darkness. Shocked, Anakin realised that the dark path he had chosen would have taken him here too. He would have been no better than Sidious. Angrily, he glared at Sidious's mutilated body. _You would have taken me there. You wanted me to become something as despicable as you._ Sidious's face, which had been ugly with all the hate and dark side, looked even more evil and disgusting now as it was contorted with insufferable pain. He writhed in agony and his remaining hand twitched towards his fallen lightsaber. _He knows he's dying but still the wish to take revenge keeps him going…_Anakin kicked the lightsaber out of Sidious's reach. Sidious attempted to create some Sith-lightning but he did not succeed anymore. Instead, he let out a spluttering, maniac growl. It was by far the most repelling thing Anakin had ever seen.

It would have been easy to ignite his lightsaber again and slice Sidious to pieces, making his death still more painful, making him pay for everything he had done to Anakin. Yes, Sidious certainly deserved that. _But I deserve it just as well. I was shown mercy although I didn't deserve it…_For some odd reason, Anakin remembered when Luvia had offered to get him a new Master all those years ago. Agreeing to that would have been the easy path. But Anakin had chosen the hard path and it had proved to be the right path. _You did that right_, he told his younger self. Now Anakin wanted nothing more than make Sidious pay, he wanted to cut off that hated face from the rest of the pathetic rest of a body. But he did not do it. He chose the hard path – as he had done when he had been that young boy. Fighting down his sickness and disgust, he slowly knelt down next to Sidious and put his hand on Sidious's forehead.

"You should at least die in peace," Anakin muttered and summoned the Force around him. The Force seemed lighter than usual. He directed its bright flow towards Sidious's dying mind – of course Sidious tried to block him. The Sith Lord did not accept death. No, he would keep fighting even if it was pointless. "I wonder… have you ever been a good person?" Anakin said thoughtfully. "You know, I was lucky. I was lucky there were people who cared enough for me to help me and bring me back. I wonder, were there ever people you cared for? Family, friends…? Are there things you regret? Do you sometimes mourn the other life you could have had if the dark side hadn't consumed you?"

In the Force, Anakin felt Obi-Wan tentatively reaching out and sending waves of light to Sidious too. And somehow, that made Anakin finally really understand the difference between the light and the dark. And he knew why he had chosen the light – no matter how hard it sometimes was: it was worth it.

"There's peace in the Force," Obi-Wan told Sidious. "Even for you. The darkness and hate will leave you."

Sidious cackled madly and his eyes focussed on Anakin. "If you once choose the path of the dark side, there is no going back. Lord Vader…you are very powerful. I sensed your power… when you fought me…today. You must use it… You can become more powerful than I have ever been. You are the last of the Sith… Pass your knowledge on to someone… teach them everything I…taught…you…"

Anakin nodded. "I will." He noticed Obi-Wan giving him a surprised look but he did not respond to that. He could explain it later. Meanwhile, the Emperor was too weak to fight the waves of light Force back any longer. A last tremor ran through his body and then it was over at long last. Relieved, Anakin straightened up. He felt strangely…free. Obi-Wan was scrutinising him with a very odd expression. Anakin avoided eye contact. "Don't worry, I'm fine," he muttered. "We'd better see how we can get out of here now."

Yes, it was almost absurd: They had really done it, they had defeated the Emperor but that did not automatically mean they could easily get out of here alive. Certainly, dozens of stormtroopers guarded all the doors to the throne room.

"Maybe they forgot again to guard the floor below," Obi-Wan suggested quietly.

"You cut a hole into the floor and see if the coast is clear," Anakin whispered. "I'm going to distract them –" he indicated the twenty men behind the laser wall "so they do not realise immediately what our plan is and don't raise an alarm too quickly." Anakin stepped in front of the laser wall, activated his lightsaber and raised it demonstratively. Awestruck, the men stared at him. No wonder… After all, he had just killed their Emperor. "Imperial stormtroopers," he shouted loudly, "it is over! The Emperor is dead and so is the Empire! There will be peace throughout the galaxy again, no one will be oppressed anymore, there will be freedom and justice and we will all be brothers! You can be part of it! If you let Obi-Wan and I escape unhindered, it will benefit you! Join us! I promise you will be treated like humans and not like cannon fodder! You _are _humans! You –"

"_Anakin!_" Obi-Wan interrupted him. He had finished the hole in the floor before long. "Will you finally come!"

"Think about it," Anakin told the stormtroopers and then he followed Obi-Wan through the floor. There really were no guards to be seen. "I can't believe it." Incredulous, Anakin shook his head. "The trick is so old and it works again and again."

"What kind of an overdramatic speech was that?" Obi-Wan scoffed while they skidded through the corridors towards the hangar deck.

"They're soldiers, that's what they like to hear," Anakin retorted.

"Maybe you should have become a politician."

"The main thing is it worked. And it did," Anakin defended himself. "And besides, what I said is true."

"But you exaggerated so much that no one would ever believe you."

"Did I ever claim I'm the great, eloquent _Negotiator_?" Anakin spat. "Of course I know reality isn't as easy as that. By the way, you once told me that exaggeration is a propagandistic device."

"Oh, well, the main thing is it worked," Obi-Wan conceded.

"You're a bit slow today, _Master!_ I came to that conclusion a long time before!"

"Oh, right. You win the argument."

Anakin would have liked to continue with the friendly banter but then something else struck him. He stopped dead and Obi-Wan almost ran into him.

"What's wrong now?" Obi-Wan asked, confused.

"There's…something I need to do."

"Ah."

"Something important."

"Okay. What is it?"

Anakin took a deep breath. "It would be better if you didn't come along." He looked meaningfully at Obi-Wan. "I'd rather do it alone," he added in case Obi-Wan had not understood yet. Obi-Wan looked at him somewhat suspiciously. "Believe me, it's for your own good if you don't come along," Anakin said. "You will be able to rest easier like that."

"And that's why I'd prefer to –"

"Obi-Wan!" Anakin interrupted him irritably. "We shouldn't waste so much time arguing. Just trust me, okay?"

"Okay…" Obi-Wan did not really look happy but he left it at that. "I'm going to wait here for you."

"Alright. If I'm not back in… ten minutes, you'd better leave." Quickly, Anakin went back and headed for the central technical office. Unfortunately, it was located far in the other direction. When he arrived there, he logged in a computer. After typing in more than ten passwords, he finally arrived where he wanted to go:

_TOP SECRET PROJECT: "DEATH__ STAR" _

He sent orders to discontinue the construction works. Then he pressed _delete construction plan_. A text appeared on the screen: _This operation is for authorised members only. Please put your thumb on the scanner to identify your status. _There were only two authorised persons who had access to this computer: the two Sith Lords. Anakin really hoped Sidious had not deleted his authorisation yet. Nervously, he pressed his thumb on the scanner. A red _You are not authorised for this operation_ flickered on the screen. Anakin let out some very bad huttese swearwords and hurried back to the throne room. Fighting down the urge to vomit, he grabbed the Emperor's severed hand and ran back. This time, it worked.

_Are you sure you want to delete the construction plan?_

_Yes!_ Anakin hit the enter-key and a little bar showed the progress of the deletion. _Construction plan is being deleted. _Impatiently, Anakin drummed his fingers on the desk. Why did it take so much time to delete a simple construction plan?Anakin was at the end of his tether. When, at long last, the little bar disappeared and a text informed him that the deletion had been successful, Anakin heaved a deep sigh of relief. Then he deleted all the other data which somehow belonged to the _TOP SECRET PROJECT: "DEATH STAR"_. Actually, there were still several other things he could do…now that he was here… The ten minutes had already passed in the meantime. Anakin cursed under his breath. He typed in orders to open all the doors in the detention block. Then he shut down the battle station's power supply so the laser wall in the throne room would be deactivated and the storm troopers were free to leave. Now it was really high time for him to go.

He met Obi-Wan halfway. "What took you so long? You said you'd be back in ten minutes."

"I never said that," Anakin replied. "I said you should leave if I was not back in ten minutes."

"And I never agreed to that. Why have all the lights died down? Was that you?"

"Sure. Shall we go now?"

"Yes."

But they did not get far. When they turned a corner, they suddenly ran into one single stormtrooper. The two Jedi activated their lightsabers immediately.

"Get out of our way," Anakin shouted impatiently. "We don't want to kill you. We _will_ however kill you, if you do not leave at once."

The stormtrooper backed away and held his hands up. "I didn't mean to attack you. Don't kill me, please." He dropped his blaster to the floor and stared expectantly at them.

"Yeah, fine," Anakin growled. He was about to give the stormtrooper a blow on the head in order to knock him out when the stormtrooper suddenly saluted.

"Commander Skywalker, I heard your speech in the throne room and… I want to help rebuild the Republic."

Anakin gaped. Never had he expected _this_. So his speech _had _made an impact. He turned to Obi-Wan to give him a triumphant look but Obi-Wan was staring intently at the stormtrooper.

"Cody?" Obi-Wan said softly.

The stormtrooper – Cody – saluted again. "Yes, Sir. It's a pleasure to see you alive and well, General Kenobi."

"The last time we saw each other, you seemed to have other ideas concerning my well-being," Obi-Wan retorted dryly.

"Ah, well." Cody gave Obi-Wan an awkward look. "I had my orders."

"Orders…" Obi-Wan slightly shook his head. "You attacked me from _behind_."

"I'm sorry," Cody said and he seemed to mean it. "I never liked the Empire and I would be honoured if I could serve under your command again. I understand your reservations, of course. Nevertheless, I could at least help you escape."

Obi-Wan contemplated the offer. He seemed to have mixed feelings towards Cody. So Anakin interfered, "Master, we could really use his help. And if you give me a second chance after all I've done, Cody deserves a second chance as well."

Obi-Wan grimaced. "Very well then. Let's go." He shrugged and followed Cody, who led the way. "I just wonder who of you is going to be the death of me ultimately…"

Cody gave them two stormtrooper uniforms so they could disguise themselves. He also showed them to an imperial spaceshuttle and sent data to the air controllers that identified their flight as official business.

"Thanks a lot, Cody," Anakin told the former commander of the GAR. "If you really want to help rebuild the Republic, you can convince other stormtroopers to change sides too. You can help reconstruct this battle station into…into something useful. And if you have some insider information, contact Senator Mon Mothma."

"I will do that, Commander Skywalker," Cody promised.

"That would be great," Anakin said gratefully.

Cody nodded curtly. He gave Obi-Wan, who had kept rather silent, one more awkward glance, then he cleared his throat. "May the Force be with you." The words sounded odd from a stormtrooper's mouth… but then again, Anakin and Obi-Wan were wearing the white armour too.

"May the Force be with you too," Anakin said.

"Yes, may the Force be with you," Obi-Wan added finally. Then he brought himself to say, "I'm glad you chose the side of the Republic again, Cody. I hope others will follow your example."

"I will do my best to convince them," Cody said earnestly.

Then it was time for them to leave. Obi-Wan had already climbed into the co-pilot's seat when Anakin became once again aware of his missing left arm. "Erm, Master, I can't fly."

"Excuse me? Really, Anakin, you have been rather humble the last days but now you're really exaggerating. I've never met a better pilot than you."

"Thanks," Anakin said softly and smiled to himself. "But I'm not such a great pilot with only one arm."

"Oh. Do you mean to say that I am to fly?"

"Yes. It will look less suspicious like that anyway. I bet the stormtroopers usually do not fly so fast."

So they changed seats and Obi-Wan did a rather good turbo-start. Well, Anakin had never claimed Obi-Wan was a bad pilot. If he would just practise a bit more and show some willingness to take on risks… and if he would just fly a little bit faster…

"Accelerate for jump to hyperspace," Anakin instructed him while preparing the shuttle for hyperspace. "Jump in five seconds. Three, two, one –"

Both of them sighed in relief when they were finally safe in hyperspace. "Done," Obi-Wan said, satisfied, and slowed down the engines.

Exhausted, Anakin leant back in his seat. Yes, _done_. He had fulfilled his destiny. He had done what had been expected from the Chosen One. Now he was finally free of that burden. But along with the freedom came a feeling of insecurity and forlornness. As if he was floating somewhere in space on his own. Sidious's words came back to his mind. _You are the Chosen One and that's why the Jedi use you as their weapon. As soon as you have killed me and thus have fulfilled your duty, they will eliminate you, mark my words. _Anakin did not really believe in it and yet… Master Yoda had called this mission a test in which Anakin could prove his commitment to the Jedi Order. Certainly the test could be considered as passed but he could not imagine being a Jedi again. He was not even sure if he wanted it. And, of course, the Jedi apprentices wanted him even less.

"So…now what?" he quietly pronounced his thoughts.

"I thought about visiting Alderaan," Obi-Wan replied. "You said you wanted to go there after the completion of our mission."

Alderaan… Anakin's heartbeat sped up upon the notion of that planet and his brooding mood was gone in an instant. "Sounds good," he said, beaming like the young boy who was allowed to fly a Jedi starfighter for the first time.

"But you should probably go to a med centre at first."

"That can wait. First, I want to meet my daughter. You can never how what will happen. When I was in the torture cell, I thought I would die and never be able to see Leia. I don't want to wait any longer."

"And here I thought you'd finally learned patience," Obi-Wan remarked dryly.

"Don't get your hopes up, Master," Anakin retorted.

"Nonetheless, I think you should go to a med centre first. What will Leia say if she sees you like this? However wrong it is to judge people according to their appearance, such a sight can be very frightening to a little child," Obi-Wan explained in his teacher-voice.

"Yes, Master, I understand." Anakin stifled a loud sigh. He was not in the mood for lectures right now.

"You don't have to call me 'Master' anymore," Obi-Wan said unexpectedly. "I haven't been your Master for…more than five years."

"Um, yes," Anakin said, surprised. "But you're on the Council, right? So the title is still required."

"Okay, I'm on the Council but… we've known each other for almost twenty years now, and such a formal address seems a bit unnecessary."

"For how many years have you known Master Yoda? You still call him 'Master'."

"Ah, well… But I'm not Master Yoda."

"But Master Kenobi. You're a Master as well. The title is about respect and things, isn't it?"

"Yeah… If you insist…" Obi-Wan did not look really happy with it.

Anakin scrutinised him thoroughly. Obi-Wan was not looking at him as he was concentrating on navigating the ship. "So you'd prefer if I didn't call you 'Master'?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Actually, yes."

"Alright, no problem… But it could take me some time to get used to it. Old habits die hard."

Obi-Wan smiled briefly. "Sure."

"And, of course, it means that from now on I will not listen to your lectures anymore," Anakin said mischievously.

"When did you ever…"

Chuckling softly, Anakin leant back in his seat and contentedly closed his eyes. His body still hurt from the torture but he was feeling better and better and ready to use the Force for healing.

"The fight today was really extraordinary," Obi-Wan said thoughtfully.

"M-hmm," Anakin agreed without opening his eyes. "You know, Master Yoda told me it was not possible to defeat a Sith with a lightsaber. But I did kill him with a lightsaber…"

"It seems sometimes even Master Yoda is wrong… I think I've never experienced something like that fight against the Emperor before."

"What exactly do you mean?"

"The way you fought. It felt as if you could control everything around you. Most of the time, I didn't even know what I was doing. I couldn't help but parry Sidious's blows. I always did the right thing. It was almost… scary."

Anakin's eyes snapped open and he sat up in his seat. "I did _not_ use the dark side of the Force! At least I didn't do so intentionally," he defended himself.

"I didn't mean that, I didn't mean that," Obi-Wan reassured him quickly.

"Then what did you mean?" Anakin demanded to know.

"I didn't sense the dark side in you. There was…well, neither good nor evil intentions coming from you that I could sense. I've never before seen someone so powerful. It felt almost as if the Force itself was fighting."

"You can discuss it with Master Yoda. Maybe he knows what it means. Tell me if you've solved the mystery, okay?" His eyes brimming with tears, Anakin angrily avoided his gaze and turned to look out of the window.

"So you have no idea either what happened?" Obi-Wan asked.

"No, I don't have a clue…" Anakin gave a humourless laugh. "Crazy if you think of it, isn't it? I mean, with me being more Force than human, I should be wise and all-knowing, right?" Abruptly, he got up from his seat. "I'm going into the rear to rest. Something like that is always exhausting."

"You mean…such a special connection to the Force?"

"Yeah."

"Has it happened before?"

"Once. But I was very young then. Ten or eleven years old, maybe. Anyway, if I fall asleep you'll wake me up when he arrive on Alderaan, okay?"

"Sure."

Tiredly, Anakin trudged into the ship's rear. It was only a small shuttle without exceptional luxury. The ceiling was so low that Anakin had to duck his head if he did not want to bump into it. In the little cabin, there were only to opposite benches as seats for six stormtroopers. Anakin dropped down on one of the benches and stared miserably at the floor. Yes, he had fulfilled the prophecy but that did not mean it was over. He remained the Chosen One, the vergence in the Force. So much power concentrated on one person was dangerous. Obi-Wan's words echoed in his head: _It felt almost as if the Force itself was fighting. It was almost… scary._ Anakin had never asked for his powers. He only wished for a little bit of peace and happiness. A quiet life with his children who loved him. He sighed sadly. _It seems I'm selfish again. I must learn to accept that I'm different and thus have a different life. I must try to make the best of a bad job. _

Obi-Wan came into the little cabin. "I switched to autopilot," he informed Anakin. "We will be arriving on Alderaan in six hours." Anakin acknowledged it with a little nod. Obi-Wan sat down on the bench opposite him. "I sent a message to Bail Organa informing him of our arrival. He offered you to be treated by the royal medi-droids."

"That's really nice of him," Anakin said.

"Yes..." Obi-Wan thoughtfully scratched his beard. "Did I hurt you with my words?"

Anakin hesitated, tapping his boot on the floor. "You were honest with me. I can hardly blame you for that." Of course Anakin knew Obi-Wan had meant no harm.

Obi-Wan frowned. "That was not an answer to my question."

Anakin cast his eyes to the floor. "It was not really your fault… It's just… Nothing changed, right? I'm still the same person, I'm still Anakin Skywalker!"

"I never said anything had to change."

"You're right… However… I guess one cannot stop change." Anakin shook his head as if to get rid of something. Then he looked at Obi-Wan again. "Do you think Sidious was right?"

"In which regard?" Obi-Wan asked, sounding alarmed.

"He said there's no going back from the dark side."

Obi-Wan avoided meeting his eyes. "He could be right," he said finally. Anakin had expected this answer because everything else would be a lie. After all, the Jedi Order taught you: _If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny_. "You know, most people probably think it's impossible to turn away from the dark side," Obi-Wan said, "but most people also think it's impossible to land half a ship."

Anakin smiled briefly to show he appreciated Obi-Wan's attempt at cheering him up. "What do _you_ think?"

"I've stopped worrying so much about the future but I try to live in the present. And right now, I'm glad that you are not on the dark side."

Not entirely satisfied with the answer, Anakin said, "That was not an answer to my question, Obi-Wan."

"You're right," Obi-Wan admitted. "Very well then, what do I think…? I think Sidious was maybe right. For him, there was no going back. He had been consumed by the dark side for too many years already. But you… Well, I think – I _hope_ – your experiences with the dark side of the Force have strengthened your resolve in a certain way. Maybe a _full_ return from the dark side is not possible. Literally speaking, it could be like a shadow which always follows you. It could very well happen that you will suffer from relapses. But I wouldn't be surprised either if you surprised everyone and became a role model Jedi. Whatever…"

"The will of the Force will guide us," Anakin finished Obi-Wan's sentence.

"And is that good or bad?"

"The will of the Force is neither good nor bad," Anakin cited the Jedi Code. "It just _is_."

Obi-Wan quirked an eyebrow. "There's something I'd like to know: When you decided to spare Sidious's life, did you do it because you thought you had to keep to the Jedi Code or did you act from your own conviction?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Anakin frowned very hard. "The two possibilities are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Actually, I think they are mutually _conditional_. I acted from my own conviction – that the Jedi Code is right and that I have to keep to it because it is right." Anakin had to grin because Obi-Wan seemed to be quite impressed by that answer. "Do you think my decision was right?" Anakin asked, completely serious again. "What would you have done?" He was not nearly as certain as he sounded when he cited the Jedi Code. When Sidious had knelt in front of him, the decision had been anything but clear.

"That's a difficult question," Obi-Wan said pensively. "I thought you made the right decision and I think I would have done the same thing."

"You _thought_ I made the right decision? You don't think so anymore?"

"Well… yes, I still do…"

"But?"

"What _but_? Whoever said there is a but?"

"It sounds as if there is a but."

"No. I'm really sure you did the right thing."

Anakin examined Obi-Wan sceptically. "Alright. But there's still something else, right?"

Obi-Wan forced a smile and stroked his beard. "I did not expect you to show mercy on Sidious. We were not merciful on you. We did not keep to the Jedi Code when it was about you."

"Er… yeah?" Actually, Anakin had no idea what Obi-Wan was talking about.

"When we captured you on Tatooine," Obi-Wan said with great restraint. "We would have killed you."

Anakin's heart thudded loudly. So they really would have done it. It hurt to hear Obi-Wan say it so directly. "I thought we agreed _not_ to speak about it again," he said, trying to sound brave.

"Ah…yes. Well, I'm glad Qui-Gon saved you. It's ironic, isn't it?" Obi-Wan gave a bitter laugh. "The Jedi say they're the good ones, so _compassionate_. It's ironic that I asked you to help me when the Emperor was about to kill me. Ironic that you – as a Sith Lord – helped me whereas I – as a Jedi – would have let them kill you."

"Obi-Wan, please," Anakin said firmly. "Stop that. It's over. We're both still alive and, yes, that's it."

"Nevertheless, I wish I had acted differently," Obi-Wan said, sounding weary.

Anakin gave a humourless laugh. "Trust me, there are many things I wish I could change…" He sighed deeply and released his mourning into the Force. "But we cannot change the past," he said, his voice calm again. "And thinking like that is very un-jedi-like. We have to accept the past."

"And we have to live with the decisions me made," Obi-Wan continued. "Our focus must be on the present because we _can_ change the present."

Anakin nodded, deep in thought. "Did you ever wonder what it would be like to live a normal life? I mean, not being Jedi but completely ordinary persons who have a relatively unimportant job and a little family…"

"Even though it's extremely un-jedi-like – yes, I do think about it from time to time."

"And?"

"I came to the conclusion that it could be a nice life. In a certain way, I envy people who have such a life. On the other hand… Being a Jedi, serving the Force, that's a worthwhile life. One should be grateful for one's gifts and talents instead of fleeing from the responsibility they involve. I _am_ grateful for my abilities because I can help other people like that. But…"

"But why does it have to include so many privations? Why can you not be a Jedi and happy at the same time?"

"Yes…"

Suddenly, Anakin had to grin. "This talk sounds a bit too rebellious to me. The Jedi are selfless, sure, but it does not exclude happiness. Have you never been happy as a Jedi? I can't believe that. Weren't you happy for example when you were knighted?"

"Yes… I think I was. I'm not sure, it happened such a long time ago…"

"You're getting old," Anakin teased him.

"You know what, I think I was _not_ happy. I was mortally offended because such a little snotty nose was made Qui-Gon's Padawan on the same day."

Pretending to be offended, Anakin pulled a face. "I really don't know why everyone always says you're such a great, conscientious, role-model Jedi who always sticks to the rules. That's just not true! You've always gone against the rules – and just listen to you talking now!"

Obi-Wan grinned. "Well, at least I can make it look as if I'm a good Jedi."

"But you were happy when you were knighted."

"Was I?"

"Yes. Your friends came to congratulate you and I think you were happy then."

"If you say so…" Obi-Wan smiled somewhat ruefully.

Immediately, Anakin regretted he had raised the issue. _Certainly he misses his friends now. Bant Eerin, Siri Tachi and what was that guy called…? _Anakin wanted to apologise but he was not sure what to say. After all, _he _was the one responsible for the death of Obi-Wan's friends. While Anakin was still struggling to find the right words, Obi-Wan said, "When Sidious was dying, you promised him to spread the Sith cult." Obi-Wan awkwardly cleared his throat.

"Don't worry," Anakin said quickly before Obi-Wan could say something he might regret. "I'm definitely _not_ going to train a new Sith apprentice. Maybe that's what Sidious thinks…okay. I promised to spread what he taught me. That doesn't mean I'm going to teach the dark side to anyone but I'm going to warn people of the dark side's dangers and destructive power. The Sith must not be forgotten. Everyone must be aware of the dangers of the dark side so something like this will never happen again."

Obi-Wan slightly relaxed at Anakin's explanation but he still looked sceptical. "I'd prefer if the Sith were forgotten. I believe that, as long as there is knowledge of the dark side, there will always be people who want to challenge their limits or who are fascinated by the dark side and want to test it."

"But the Sith will not be forgotten as simply as that," Anakin retorted. "Too many people had to suffer from the Empire and they are going to pass it on to the next generations. And even if one day no one remembers anymore – some Force sensitive person will rediscover the dark side and exploit it. The truth is better than some myths or rumours."

"Yes, you're probably right there… But don't give away too much insider information. It might give people ideas."

"Of course. In any case, I'm going to discuss this issue with Master Yoda and ask for his opinion on it. And of course I know I walk a tightrope. In precarious situations, I will always take your or Master Yoda's advice."

"Alright." Obi-Wan seemed really relieved now. They were silent for quite some time. Only now did Anakin realise how much he identified with the Jedi again. How much he _felt_ like a Jedi again. Becoming a Jedi again seemed the natural thing to do. Actually, there was nowhere else he had to go. His children were safe: Leia certainly had a good life on Alderaan and Luke was to be trained to become a Jedi. One more point speaking against Anakin returning to the Jedi Order. If Luke was a Jedi, Anakin could not stay there as well. Luke already knew Anakin was his father and such attachment was forbidden. But what about Obi-Wan? He and Luke were closer than Jedi Master and youngling would normally be. Surely the Jedi Order would not do without Obi-Wan, would they? The current Jedi Order certainly could not afford losing one of their two Masters… It was really, really complicated. Suddenly Anakin noticed Obi-Wan's gaze on what was left of his left arm. When Obi-Wan realised Anakin was watching him, he quickly averted his eyes.

"I hope they have some suiting replacement on Alderaan," Anakin said lightly so the situation would not become awkward.

"Yes. Maybe they don't have your exact size but at least you have something provisional until you get a better prosthesis."

Anakin flexed the durasteel fingers of his right hand. "I guess I'm the only human being who can claim he has already lost three arms."

Obi-Wan uncertainly looked at him as if to ask if it was meant as a joke. Anakin burst into laughter and finally Obi-Wan joined in his laughter. "You're really unbelievable, Anakin…"

"You know, there's something positive about it: If my children ask me again how I lost my arms, I don't have to say it was you who cut off one of my arms but I can tell them with a good conscience that I lost both of my arms in fights against evil Sith Lords."

"Uh…yes." Flexing his own fingers slightly embarrassedly, Obi-Wan stopped laughing. "What are you going to tell your children?"

Anakin knew Obi-Wan did not only mean the question who had cut off Anakin's arms. "The truth, I guess," Anakin replied. "That is… okay, maybe not all the details. That would only frighten them…" But wasn't that the really important thing? Wasn't it important that they knew the worst things? Would the knowledge of what had happened to their father save them from committing the same mistake or would it only frighten them unnecessarily? Should he wait to tell them everything until they were older? But it would be a shock to them if they suddenly learned the horrible truth about their father. And they certainly would learn of it in another way. Maybe there would be whispers about their father. The crimes Anakin Skywalker had committed were well-known among the Jedi. No, it would be better if his children heard it directly from him. But _what_ was he to tell them? And _how_ could he tell them?

Slowly, Anakin started to realise that there lay a task ahead of him which was much more difficult and demanded so much more abilities than a lightsaber fight against a Sith Lord. Gradually, he understood what it meant to be a father, and he did not feel ready at all for such a task. Then he remembered that Obi-Wan had been just as young as Anakin was now when he had started with Anakin's training. Only now, Anakin could fully appreciate Obi-Wan's training for what it really was: so much more than just passing knowledge on.

"Anakin, what's the matter?" Obi-Wan's voice startled him.

"Huh? Sorry?"

"You were giving me a very odd look," Obi-Wan said, sounding amused.

"Oh." Smiling, Anakin looked at his feet. "There's nothing wrong. I was just wondering what it's like to be responsible for children. You know, raising and teaching them…"

"It's a very hard job," Obi-Wan said promptly. "But more than anything, it's a wonderful experience."

When Anakin looked up again, he saw Obi-Wan smiling. "I'm glad to hear that," Anakin said. He returned the smile, then he stood up and stretched his aching back. "Let's see how far it's still to go to Alderaan."

He went into the cockpit and let his eyes wander across the stars, looking for signs in the infinite depths of space which would tell him his future. His path. Obi-Wan's path. Luke's and Leia's path. The path of the Jedi Order. They were all linked to each other and yet Anakin was heading for an uncertain future. So many open questions…

He almost could hear Qui-Gon's calm voice: "Trust in the Force. It will guide you."

By defeating Darth Sidious, Anakin had fulfilled the prophecy. But deep in his heart he knew that it was only the first half. In order to defeat the second Sith, he would probably have to keep fighting all his life. Sidious's words echoed in his head. _If you once choose the path of the dark side, there is no going back. Lord Vader, you are the last of the Sith_.

He knew those words would haunt him the rest of his life. That was the price.

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**Yes! Now there's only the epilogue left! That could take some time again (very long chapter again and I want to rewrite major parts of it...) I hope you liked my idea of defeating the Sith... **

**This fanfic is almost finished now and as I want to improve my writing, I'd like to ask you: What should I improve? Should I include more descriptions, more action etc...? Do I need a better plot the next time? Should I speed up the tempo of the plot? Are there words/phrases/motives I use too often? Are there words I write always wrong? I would be very grateful for constructive criticism :)**


	47. Epilogue

**I can't believe I've finally arrived here... After more than half a year... THE EPILOGUE!!! I have really enjoyed writing the story and posting it here, and once again I'd like to thank you for all the feedback you gave me throughout the months. Special thanks for the consctructice criticism you sent me when I asked for it in the last chapter - believe it or not, you have already helped me VERY much :-) Several people said I should try to include more action and description and so I thought about how I could include it in my new story ("Servants of the Force")... and suddenly I had THE idea ;-) Really, now I'm really happy with the plot (which I was not before). What else can I say? Enjoy the final chapter!**

Anaya: **Yes, Anakin has learned much... Of course he should have never done such stupid things but as least he learned from it and won't be tempted to turn to the dark side again.**

Rya Likao: **Thank you very much! As I said before, I'm really grateful for the consctructive criticism. **

Phoenix Red Lion: **Anakin wouldn't be Anakin without his sense of humour, Obi-Wan wouldn't be Obi-Wan without his modesty and Qui-Gon wouldn't be Qui-Gon without his stubbornness ;-) Thanks for the nice compliment. You're probably right about the Obi-Wan - Luke - relationship. I now realise I just skipped the part where they got to know each other. Erm... I guess I quickly wanted to get to the point when Obi-Wan and Anakin were reunited ;-) **

Heppan: **I'm so glad you liked Cody and the stormtroopers in this! I have a soft spot for Cody, even though he attacked Obi-Wan from behind ;-) Hey, you sound like a morning person... how scary ;-) Honestly, I envy you for that... I did it again last night. Spent too much time reading fanfiction and this morning... well...**

Sentrosi: **Hey, thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed this story. I also enjoyed reading your reviews :)**

Jedi Knight 13: **Wow, thank you so much for the lovely review! You should get the very special Qui-Gon's-Heirs-most-faithful-reviewer-award ;-) You have been there from the very first chapter and since then reviewed (almost) every chapter. That was extremely helpful and very nice of you. And your German sentence was perfect! You even got it right with the capital letters (something that even many Germans find difficult...) **

Doggie3388: **I'm glad you enjoyed the story. You're a brave one ;-) I always find it intimidating to start reading a story with more than 100.000 words... Thanks again for so many reviews. I hope you like the epilogue! **

sych77: **Oh, that was a nice review! I was grinning like an idiot when I read it ;-) Thank you very much!**

teufelinchen: **You're so right, long reviews can be extremely entertaining. Like yours! I really enjoyed reading it. You gave a nice interpretation and characterisation of Anakin - great, you got what I tried to say with this fanfic. I mean, it's alright of course if people interprete other things into my story but it's good to know that I somehow managed to get my meaning across ;-) Ha, and I agree, it's waaay cooler to talk in English than in German ;-) I'm allowed to make all sorts of mistakes. After all, it's not my mother language and I don't study it at university or anything... so I always have a perfect excuse ;-) Thanks again for such a lovely review!**

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Five years later_

The last rays of the setting Uresian autumn sun warmed Obi-Wan's face. Now, during the last warm days of the year, the air was very clear and the cliffy mountain range stood out serrated against the golden evening sky. Yes, the Jedi had stayed on Uresi although there were probably many better suited planets for a new Jedi Order. But the remoteness of Uresi had its advantages as well. Even though they were already recruiting new younglings again, the Jedi were not strong enough yet to appear in public and to protect the senate and newly elected Chancellor Mon Mothma.

Obi-Wan was sitting on a ledge from which you had a wonderful view of the valley below. Several metres below him, Anakin was swimming in a little lake. His arm prostheses shone golden and reflected the rays of the low sun. Yes, Anakin had stayed here too. It had taken many discussions and much convincing from Yoda's and Obi-Wan's part to make the apprentices accept Anakin here. But in the end, they had agreed and now Anakin was here and he even taught some of the apprentices.

This place was one of their favourite places on Uresi. After a long, exhausting day, Anakin and Obi-Wan often went here in order to relax, to have some peace and quiet, and to have a bit of time just for themselves. Both of them helped Master Yoda with training the Jedi students. Master Yoda taught the youngest ones – as he had always done. Anakin taught the oldest students and Obi-Wan took the rest, that is the apprentices between nine and sixteen years. Luke and Leia belonged to that group. When Leia's high Force sensitivity had been assessed, she had been brought to the Jedi too – at Anakin's request and her adoptive parents' approval. It had been almost three years ago that she had started her training. Several times a year, she returned to Alderaan to meet her adoptive parents. She had not taken things as easy as Luke when she had learned that Anakin was her father because she had lived under the belief that the Organas were her real parents. Sometimes she was still rather reserved towards Anakin and had chosen Beru as her attachment person. Beru had stayed on Uresi too because she had no other place to go. She felt at home as long as she was with Luke and so she had decided to stay with the Jedi.

Luke, on the other hand, loved and admired his father. Surprisingly, the Jedi Council (that is: Master Yoda) allowed such family ties. He did not only tolerate such ties as something unavoidable (like with Anakin and his children – Yoda could hardly separate them if all of them belonged to the Jedi Order) but even furthered them to a certain degree. The new children who were accepted in the Order were allowed to keep in touch with their parents and visit them from time to time. Sometimes the parents even moved to Uresi together with their children. Every helping hand was badly needed. Uresi was a rather inhospitable planet, the few houses were in a ruinous state and growing vegetables or crops in the barren soil was hard work. But bit by bit a little community grew.

Anakin had not wanted to teach his own children as he feared he might treat them differently from the other apprentices. Unexpectedly, Anakin got on rather well with the older students. Obi-Wan had been concerned about that because these students could still remember the Jedi massacre and the destruction of the Temple very well. Back then, they had been old enough to understand what had happened. They knew what Anakin had done. And yet… somehow they respected him. They looked up to him. Not like the younger students who admired him to no end because of his strength in the Force and his heroic deeds.

Normally, Obi-Wan and Anakin did not go on missions anymore. That was the job of others now: the young, newly knighted Jedi accompanied by one of the two elder Knights who had survived the Jedi massacre. But sometimes, when the situation was extremely dangerous and desperate, the old Team _Kenobi and Skywalker_ would be sent there. And somehow, the children always heard some highly exaggerated rumours of their spectacular missions. But that was not the reason why the older students looked up to Anakin. Very slowly, he had been earning their respect. At first, they had been very suspicious and often also hostile to him. They had not accepted his words as they accepted the words of Master Yoda or Obi-Wan. They did not see a wise Jedi Master in him. But maybe that had helped. By questioning him and his lectures, they themselves had come to the conclusion that most of the lectures were alright, and after accepting his lectures, in the end, they accepted him too.

Not that it had always been as easy as that. No, especially the first months – and years – had been difficult. The apprentices had bullied Anakin every day. Obi-Wan could not remember one single evening when Anakin had not been completely distressed and exhausted. A group of students had even tried to attack him again three times. Master Yoda – completely unperturbed by that – had contentedly said that it was the perfect opportunity for the students to learn how to defeat their thirst for revenge.

But the apprentices were not the only problem. There had been the trip to Ilum, for example. Obviously, Anakin needed a new lightsaber: one that was not red. It did not come as a surprise that he had not had very nice visions in the caves of Ilum. From what Obi-Wan had gathered afterwards (Anakin had not been in a mood to retell what he had seen), he had seen images of himself torturing his own children. Afterwards, he had just sat down in the snow on Ilum and stayed there for hours. Obi-Wan had been afraid of Anakin trying to commit suicide. And indeed, when Obi-Wan had found him, he had been almost frozen to death.

Then there were the many complicated times with Leia. Fortunately, Anakin had learned to control himself and did not go ballistic anymore every time something like that happened. Sometimes, Obi-Wan hardly recognised him anymore. The once unrestrained, impulsive, passionate Padawan-learner had turned into a calm, level-headed, responsible and pensive young man. He was a stricter teacher than Obi-Wan had ever expected him to be (in fact, some students complained to _Obi-Wan _about _Anakin's _hard training) and he valued self-discipline, patience and balance very highly. Anakin chose his words carefully, and thought before acting (and not the other way around like he used to do earlier).

At first, Obi-Wan had regarded Anakin's behaviour as a sign of uncertainness and precaution. Probably, Anakin was afraid he would be banned from the Order and thus wanted to prove he was a good Jedi. Or he wanted to confirm the trust the Jedi Order had put in him. And certainly he had a bad conscience and wanted to do everything right this time. All of it was true but the whole truth was: Anakin acted the way he did because he believed in it. He really had changed. Sometimes, Obi-Wan thought it was ironic that the four years on the dark side seemed to have taught Anakin more than the ten years under Obi-Wan's tutelage. Ironic, indeed, that Anakin had to go to the dark side and return from it to become a role-model Jedi.

A flock of wärens (a breed of local geese) flew over Obi-Wan's head. Their cries startled him from his musings. The Uresians said, if you saw the first wärens, it was a sure sign autumn had begun. They always flew in V formations to the southern hemisphere in order to stay there for the winter. Obi-Wan sighed softly. The winters on Uresi were cold and long. Now Obi-Wan could join in the conversations when Luke, Beru and Anakin wished they were back on warmer Tatooine. But that happened seldom – only on the coldest days – because everyone (except for Luke, maybe) associated painful memories with Tatooine.

But, slowly, the wounds started to heal. Beru was head over heels in love with the father of Luke's best friend. The mother had died during the time of the Empire and when the father had heard that the Jedi students' parents were allowed to live here together with their children, he and his Force sensitive son had come here immediately. Well, it looked much like the so-called family (Beru, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Luke and Leia) would grow in the near future. And the little house was already cramped, and Luke and Leia non-stop bickered with each other because they had to share a room. _I guess we'll have to expand the house…_

Obi-Wan watched Anakin swimming through the lake with athletic strokes. A little smile tugged the corners of his lips and his thoughts drifted back to a time when there was still the Jedi Temple, when Anakin was just a bigheaded sixteen-year-old Padawan and Obi-Wan was just a stressed Master. He had not discovered that Anakin could not swim until one day another Master who taught survival training asked him why Anakin did not show up for the lessons in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. After Obi-Wan had scolded his Padawan for skipping classes, he had been thoroughly surprised when Anakin admitted he could not swim and was afraid of the other students teasing him if they found out about it. Somehow, Obi-Wan had ended up teaching his desperate Padawan how to swim, in a cloak-and-dagger operation at night, so none of his classmates could see Anakin and mock him.

At long last, Obi-Wan was able to remember those times with a smile and not with the bitter taste of regret and self-reproaches which had tormented him during his exile on Tatooine.

Obi-Wan shivered slightly. The sun had disappeared behind the mountains, and in the evening it cooled down quickly in this time of the year. Of course Obi-Wan knew things were never going to be the way they once were. Too much had happened. Both he and Anakin had changed so much and both of them had done things which could be never forgotten.

It had been nine years since they had fought on Mustafar. The Empire did not exist anymore since five years. Although the new beginning had been difficult, the normal course of life had – more or less – returned to the galaxy. Political power had been given back to the Senate and Mon Mothma had proved to be a capable Chancellor so far. The planets which had been enslaved by the Empire were free again. Naturally, things were not as easy as they sounded. The inhabitants on these planets still suffered from the consequences but there was hope again at least. Then there were the stormtroopers… You could never know on which side they were. Many had helped the new Republic to free the enslaved star systems. But they were not reliable enough. The Republic did not want them anymore. Besides, the Senate decided that producing and using clones for battle was illegal. So the clones were declared free citizens of the Republic. Freedom, however, was something which confused the clones. Many of them were incapable of living a normal life. They needed orders. So it happened from time to time that some of the human imperial officers who had not been arrested yet, pulled the clones on their side and led so-called stormtrooper-revolts against democracy. Often, such revolts resulted in civil wars. But, overall, things looked up.

It is said that time heals all wounds. Maybe, in many years, the terror of the Empire would be forgotten. The people who lived now, however, had to learn to somehow accept their wounds. The wounds which Anakin and Obi-Wan had acquired – which they had inflicted upon each other – were too deep to ever heal. There would always be something between them, a dark past which was lurking behind their backs. And though it became more and more blurred, it would be there. Always.

Nevertheless, Obi-Wan was glad Anakin had decided to stay here. Together, it was easier to cope with it. They had the present and the future. Anakin helped Obi-Wan in his very own way. It happened more and more rarely but sometimes, when they fought training duels with their lightsabers, the demons of Mustafar overwhelmed him again. Suddenly he would recognise a certain sequence of thrusts and parries, and then all his muscles would slacken as if a heavy weight was pressing down on them. But Anakin was attentive and he made sure something like that did not happen too often. Being so sensitive in the Force, he sensed quite early when Obi-Wan tensed up. Then Anakin would do something completely pointless, something which definitely would not remind Obi-Wan of Mustafar, something which did not fit at all in the motion sequence and the exchange of blows which paralysed Obi-Wan so much. He would suddenly jump high into the air, do a triple back somersault, throw his lightsaber into the air and catch it when he landed on his feet again. Or on his bottom, for that matter – triple back somersaults were difficult. Anyway, such crazy moves always brought Obi-Wan back to the present. The highlights were, however, if Anakin just _imagined_ Obi-Wan was in his crazy-Mustafar-mood. Then he would – to Obi-Wan's utter astonishment – suddenly start juggling with his lightsaber, doing cartwheels or performing some sort of tap dance with his lightsaber in the middle of a duel. Luke (and Obi-Wan and most other spectators) loved such performances. He would giggle afterwards for hours. Leia would frown and be ashamed of her father, who behaved in such a silly way.

Obi-Wan tried to help Anakin to get over his past too. Sometimes, Obi-Wan woke up in the middle of the night because he could feel Anakin radiating waves of turmoil and fear in the Force. Often, they would go outside together then and meditate until Anakin had calmed down and shaken off his nightmares. But there were moments when Obi-Wan could not help. Moment, when Anakin withdrew from the rest of the world and a cloud of darkness seemed to surround him. He refused to talk about certain things to anyone. At such moments, he was like a stranger to Obi-Wan. At first, it had frightened Obi-Wan. But finally he had come to accept it. Though it was hard, he had to understand that there were things with which Anakin had to come to terms on his own. Like on Ilum…

But there were good times too. Like the day when the first student of Anakin's had been knighted. Or when Obi-Wan had come up with the idea to let the older students choose "Padawans". It was not like in the old Order yet. Being a "Padawan" just meant that you had an older student who gave you private lessons and extra coaching alongside the usual training by Obi-Wan. But it definitely eased Obi-Wan's work and it really helped the younger apprentices – and the older ones learned a lot too by training the young ones.

Or the day when Anakin had been granted the rank of Master and had been elected on the Council. And he had refused – and thus deeply shocked (and impressed) Master Yoda in his old days with that decision.

Or Anakin's birthday when Luke had given him a folder with holographs of him and Leia as babies. Anakin had started sobbing uncontrollably and Obi-Wan had spent _hours_ trying to explain to an extremely worried Luke that people sometimes cried because they were so happy.

Reminiscently, Obi-Wan let his gaze wander off to the mountain tops, which were bathed in a deep red by the afterglow. The valley with the little lake under him was already in the shadows. From the distance, he heard an owl cry. The mountains echoed the cry softly.

"Hey. It's a nice evening, isn't it?"

Obi-Wan turned his head and looked up at Anakin, who had finally got out of the water and had come up here. Wet curls stuck to his forehead but at least his clothes were dry. Nowadays, Anakin wore _beige_. It had taken Obi-Wan quite some time to get used to Anakin's new look.

"You should have gone into the water too, it was amazing," Anakin said, shivering. "I would have liked to stay there for the whole night if it hadn't got so cold. And Branja was there too."

Anakin and Obi-Wan had baptised the fat sea snake "Branja" which lived in this lake. After they had overcome their first reservations against her, they had become sort of friends. Well, Obi-Wan still felt a bit uneasy when suddenly a slimy tentacle touched his belly. Anakin, however, loved to play with her.

Anakin shivered again and rubbed his arms in order to get warm. His lips were all blue from the cold. No matter how much he had changed – sometimes it was good to know he could still be as irrational as ever. "Are you cold?" Obi-Wan asked, grinning.

Anakin nodded. "Shall we go back?"

"Okay." Obi-Wan got up and together they walked back. It was a rather long way to go. Sometimes they walked all the way back in silence – comfortable, relaxing silence after a long day with many loud children who tried to talk to you all at the same time. Sometimes they talked during the whole way back. Exchanged stories of their day and informed each other of their students' progress, philosophised about the Force or discussed current politics. Only very rarely did they talk about the past.

"Leia defeated Luke in lightsaber practise today," Obi-Wan told Anakin.

"Did she?" Anakin said interestedly. "I can't believe it. She's really talented, isn't she?"

"She definitely is," Obi-Wan agreed. Although Leia had started her training later than Luke, she had caught up with him – at least in lightsaber practise. Self-evidently, she was far ahead in politics as she came from a household where there were always political guests. But when it came to using the Force, she lacked Luke's natural trust in the Force.

"How did Luke take it?" Anakin enquired. "I bet he was really offended."

"It was not as bad as I feared. Naturally, at first he said that Leia had cheated. But afterwards, he won against her twice and that calmed him somewhat down."

The competition between the twins had been there from the very beginning. At first, Leia had been very difficult. She had behaved princess-like and had looked down on the other children. Of course, the other children had not let her order them around and so she had quickly become the unpopular outsider. She had also not been willing to share a room with her brother and had always claimed more space. Luke, on the other hand, was jealous if Anakin did anything with Leia and he made Leia feel his jealousy. It had happened more than once that Anakin, Obi-Wan or Beru had had to separate the thrashing brawlers, soothe them and wipe off the tears. Beru had lost patience once and yelled at the twins for hours. After all, she was not a Jedi who was trained to be patient and calm. Oddly, however, it had worked. Frightened by Beru's outburst, they had hidden away in their room and since then they had been bosom buddies. Well, most of the time, at least.

"I'm worried about Leia," Obi-Wan said.

Anakin sighed softly. "She still doesn't have any friends, does she?"

"And that's not the only problem. Recently, I heard her showing off in front of the other apprentices. Because she has a famous Jedi as a father. She tells them stories in which you're the hero. And then she say she's going to fly to Alderaan soon and she tells them in detail about all the great things she's going to do there and all the great people she's going to meet there… She wants to show all the others that she has something which they do not have. And… many of the things she tells them are just not true. I guess she will _not_ fly with Sienar in his private shuttle."

"Probably not," Anakin said darkly. "She shouldn't be so proud of having me as her father. And telling that to the other children who lost their friends and teachers in the fire…" Anakin shook his head his frustration.

"Precisely," Obi-Wan agreed. "I thought maybe you should explain it to her."

"Yes. I'll try." They kept walking in silence for some time.

Then Obi-Wan spoke up again. "Have you any idea why she does it? Why she shows off and tells lies? She doesn't need that. I mean, she's an intelligent, talented and nice girl."

"Maybe no one ever told her that."

"Well, of course I compliment her if she does something very well but I can't treat her differently than the other students. Maybe she needs much appraisal but if I favour her, the others are jealous again and it doesn't help her at all."

"Sure…," Anakin said absent-mindedly as if he had not really paid attention. "Could it be that she tries to conceal something else?"

"Erm… You mean the fact that she doesn't have any friends? Like, _I know so many famous people, I don't care if you're my friends or not_? Or does she need admirers? Whatever, she will certainly not find friends like that."

Anakin threw him a quick side-glance and smiled. "Of course not, Obi-Wan. But since when do people behave logically?"

Obi-Wan had to grin too. Qui-Gon had told him something very similar once too. "I'm really stupid to presume something as crazy as logic," he conceded.

"Anyway…," Anakin said thoughtfully, "I did something like that too when I was a child."

"You did?" Obi-Wan asked interestedly.

Anakin laughed softly. "It was completely illogical, I know. I probably even knew it back then, as a child. Strange that I did it nonetheless, isn't it? Hm. Maybe it was about trying to make the others jealous. You know, like a last desperate action. I feel bad – and because I think I can't change it, I want at least to see others suffer too. Illogical, I know, because it did not change my situation in the slightest. But still I believed it would help me."

"I see," Obi-Wan said, impressed. Anakin surprised him with such statements again and again. But that exactly was the reason why the children and teenagers trusted Anakin. He simply _understood _them. Anakin was hardly older than the oldest students. He was closer to them than the 900 years old, little, wise Master Yoda, who liked to speak in riddles (and backwards!). Jedi Master Kenobi was perhaps a role-model to them and they admired his wisdom and strength as a Jedi but he was not someone to talk to when you had your little (or big) everyday-normal-life-problems. Sure, the students came to him if they needed help with their training because he had a reputation of being patient and a nice teacher. If it came to other things… they would rather seek Anakin's help. He had a way of taking them and their even smallest problems seriously. And he was honest with them and was willing to speak about his own weaknesses. Suddenly Obi-Wan realised that one of the few students who did not go to Anakin was Leia. She rarely asked anyone for help and _if_ she did, she never went to Anakin but to Obi-Wan or Beru. _Oh._

"You mean to say that her behaviour has to do something with the, erm, problems between you and her?" Obi-Wan asked cautiously.

"She thinks I love Luke more than her and that's why she doesn't want to like me, right?" Anakin said sadly.

Obi-Wan remembered more and more little things Leia had said and done. "I'm afraid you're right," he admitted.

Anakin sighed deeply. "Just why is it so hard to accept that someone loves you?" he said quietly.

"And why do people always have to _measure_ love?" Obi-Wan added. "Whether you're loved more or less than someone else… For Force's sake, _more_ or _less_, what kind of rubbish is that? Love is love, and that's all there is to it."

"Yes…" They exchanged a brief glance, glad that at least they had got over such 'rubbish'.

"Do you think it would help if one of your students takes Leia as their Padawan?" Obi-Wan returned to the topic.

"It would certainly be helpful…" Anakin trailed off. The problem was: no one of the older students wanted Leia as their Padawan. She was one of the few students her age who did not have a private teacher. On the one hand, Obi-Wan could understand the older students who rather chose someone else to teach. On the other hand, he felt immensely sorry for Leia. So often, it was just easier to show your love to Luke, who was always so open-hearted, adorable and trusting. Leia, however, was very complicated: She was reserved and sometimes really tediously precocious. Sometimes, she reminded Obi-Wan of himself when he had been a boy. He felt pity for her because he knew she was very vulnerable beneath her hard shell. And he knew very well she did not want pity. He hoped with all his heart that she would get a Master like Qui-Gon – or a Padawan like Anakin. And he should be really careful not to favour her…

"Do you have any idea who could be her teacher?" he asked Anakin.

"That's what I was thinking about… Did you know Caze Tau?"

"Who?" Obi-Wan asked, confused.

"I spoke to Timaal today," Anakin explained. "I want to nominate her for the trials soon. Well, and then she told me about Caze Tau. I didn't know him. He was the one who wanted to take Timaal as his Padawan. She admired him so much and it took him some time to finally decide to choose her. She was extremely proud when he told her and she was looking forward to the ceremony. But it never happened. Because that evening… the Temple burned."

Obi-Wan swallowed hard. This personal tragedy shook him more than he had expected. He had always regarded Timaal as a person who had problems forming attachments. Now he remembered she had reacted very strongly when Leia had shown off once again with her father, who was such a great Jedi. Timaal had contradicted her sharply and had severely railed against Leia. No wonder…

"She told me all that without the slightest bit of accusation in her voice," Anakin said softly. "I told her that the ceremony was not the most important part. It's more important that Master and Padawan choose each other and Caze Tau had chosen her and whether ceremony or not – that made her his Padawan. I told her Caze Tau would be so proud of her if he could see her now, ready to be knighted…"

"That was a good thing to say, Anakin. I'm sure you said the right thing."

"She started crying."

"Oh."

"I was crying too. I felt like shit and I was so sorry for her. I've never seen her cry before. She's always so strong. I wonder, how many more stories are there like hers?"

Obi-Wan could not think of something to answer to that. Anakin did not seem to expect an answer. He just kept silent, brooding. Finally, he said, "When I tried to comfort her, she slapped me in the face."

"_Oh_."

"And then she ran off, still crying. But she came back a few hours later and apologised. She thought she couldn't become a Jedi Knight anymore after what she had done."

"Well? What did you say?"

"That I will ask the Council to allow her to take the trials nonetheless." Anakin threw Obi-Wan a scrutinising look. "Are you going to vote against her?"

"I don't think so. Of course, a Jedi Knight should be able to control herself better but… I wasn't any better when I was her age. And I had more training, you know, in the old Order, and an easier life than her. Besides – sorry to say so, Anakin – she has every right to be mad at you."

"That's what I told her too. And I also told her that even the best Jedi have their weaknesses. Being a Jedi Knight doesn't mean you are already perfect. And I told her even my Master had hit me once and he was still one of the greatest Jedi Masters. Then –"

"Wait a moment, Anakin!" Obi-Wan protested, scandalised. "I _never_ hit you! I certainly yelled at you and gave you detention but I _never_ hit you once! I mean… I understand you just want to help Timaal but you can't tell such things about me because of that. What –"

"Calm down, Obi-Wan," Anakin interrupted him, slightly amused. "I never said it was _you_ who hit me. I was speaking of _Qui-Gon_."

"Oh. Alright… _What??!! Qui-Gon_ _**hit **_you?!"

"Erm…yes."

"You can't be serious!"

"It was nothing dramatic," Anakin quickly reassured him. "His hand just slipped. It happened once and never again."

"Nothing dramatic?" Obi-Wan repeated incredulously. "Anakin, the Jedi are absolutely against corporal punishment! I can't believe Qui-Gon _hit _you! For Force's sake, how old were you back then? Ten? He just can't do that!"

"Obi-Wan, you know what he's like when he's angry," Anakin said, placating. "Sometimes he could not control his emotions as a Jedi should do. He was really desperate and I probably gave him every right to hit me. And afterwards he apologised to me in a very touching way. It was over then, really."

"Alright then," Obi-Wan gave in but he vowed to himself he would have a serious word with Qui-Gon the next time they met. (Qui-Gon taught Yoda, Anakin and Obi-Wan how to retain their consciousness once they would rejoin the Force.)

"Anyway, of course I told Timaal how sorry I am for what happened," Anakin continued. "And then I tried to explain to her the thing about the past. That you cannot change what happened but you have to make the best of things. I'm afraid I'm not the right person to teach her that lesson. I mean, I myself have difficulties to accept it. I suggested her to seek your or Master Yoda's advice on it."

"Okay, I know what's awaiting me."

"And _then_ she thanked me for teaching her and things. Hm."

Obi-Wan had to smile. "Well, if she said so, she certainly meant it."

"Yes, probably." Anakin frowned. "It's not as if I'm not happy to hear it. I mean, it's damn hard work to teach all of them and I'm really glad if my students are satisfied with my classes but it came… as a surprise. It's really surprising that she _told_ me. Did I ever thank you for training me?"

Obi-Wan gave it some thought. "I can't remember you saying the words _Thank you for training me, Master_, but you were always someone who rather let his actions speak for themselves. So, yes, you said it in an indirect way."

"Okay."

For a while, they walked in silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts. It was quickly getting dark and cold now. Obi-Wan pulled his cloak closer around his body. He was looking forward getting back into the warm house.

"Well, what I wanted to say," Anakin suddenly said, "I thought Timaal could maybe teach Leia. Do you think it could work?"

_Do you think it could work? _That was, indeed, a justified question. There was no doubt Timaal was a capable Jedi but she and Leia had already clashed with each other several times. And they would certainly do so again, considering Timaal's background. If Leia continued showing off with her father… then it was bound to be a very complicated relationship. Provided that Timaal was willing to teach Leia in the first place. Until now, she had never pronounced the wish to take a Padawan and why should she now suddenly change her mind and choose Leia of all people?

Slowly, Obi-Wan started to understand how Anakin had got that idea.

Leia, whom Anakin did not reach. Whom nobody wanted as their Padawan. Who often felt superior to others.

Timaal, who had not overcome her past yet. Who tended to overreact if you addressed certain topics. Who was afraid to establish relationships. Who had had to wait so long until she was chosen by a Master. That was the only thing Timaal and Leia had in common. Apart from that, two people could not have been more different. But that meant they could learn from each other. If no one else could reach Leia, maybe Timaal could. If no one else could take away Timaal's grief, maybe Leia could.

"I think… I think it could work," Obi-Wan said.

"Maybe it's a chance for both of them."

"Yes. They can teach each other. Just like it's meant to be between Master and Padawan. Do you think Timaal would be willing to take Leia as her Padawan?"

"Yes, I think she would agree. Maybe it needs a bit nudging from Master Yoda, though… And Wil said a few days ago he wanted to help with training the younger students too."

"Wil? He's still a bit young, isn't he?"

"Yes. He's not ready for the trials yet. But he's a _really_ good swordsman."

"Absolutely." Obi-Wan could still well remember the athletic Nautolan, who had often surprised him with his skills when he had still been under Obi-Wan's tutelage. "Anakin, that's great," Obi-Wan said enthusiastically. "If he wants to help, he could assist me in lightsaber classes. That would really help. I could demonstrate some techniques better if I had him there as a sparring partner… he could help those who are still a bit clumsy… Could you ask him if he would do that?"

"Oh, I'm sure he will be thrilled. He _so_ admirers you."

"Does he?"

"He watches every time the two of us fight our training duels."

"He's not the only one," Obi-Wan said, a tad sourly. He had hoped the enthusiasm would die down with time, but every time he and Anakin sparred, they had many spectators. Of course it was understandable. Obi-Wan and Anakin (and Master Yoda but he did not need practise) were the only Jedi who were fully trained in the old way. And they _had_ been two of the best swordsmen in the old Order.

"But Wil is not someone who just stares at us with his mouth wide open," Anakin said. "He learns by watching you. Every time I spar with him, he uses the same moves you used the day before. That makes him quite predictable, of course. But still, he can do things I never taught him."

"Oh, right. I'm going to ask him if he can assist me. Erm… Concerning Wil… There's something, erm, else. Today I saw him, erm, uh… kissing Lina." Obi-Wan still felt a bit uncomfortable discussing such matters.

"Hm. Yes, I know," Anakin admitted. "Lina told me. I promised her not to tell anyone else. But now you already know it…"

"Ah." That was definitely something the students would only tell Anakin. Naturally, they could trust him if it came to such things. After all, Luke and Leia were living proof that Anakin had breached the Jedi Code concerning that matter. "What did you advise her to do?"

"Well, Master Yoda is not as strict anymore as he used to be," Anakin said evasively.

"You encouraged her," Obi-Wan concluded.

"You're against it, aren't you?" Anakin asked quietly.

Obi-Wan sighed. "No, not really. I guess I'll just have to get used to it. Besides, Wil and Lina aren't the first ones." There had been couples among the Jedi apprentices before and Master Yoda had known of it and not forbidden it. "It's just… I always see the dangers in it," Obi-Wan admitted.

"Trust me, I see the dangers too… How could I not? I warned Lina and told her about Padmé and me and told her to please, please be careful. And I said she should think about it very carefully because she still has to do her Jedi duties. She was really sensible and listened to everything I told her." Anakin chuckled softly. "But I'm sure she already has forgotten about everything again. People are illogical, as you know."

"I guess we cannot forbid it to them… They are grown-ups. We can support them and offer our help but in the end, it's them who make the decision."

"I just hope they will be happy and things will work out well."

"So do I."

They reached the hill from which you could see the little array of houses where the Jedi lived. Invitingly warm light shone behind the windows. Silently, they walked back the rest of the way. If you made a little effort, you could find Uresi's nice places. And the more time you spent here, the more you saw the beauty in the grey, serrated mountain range or the pale sun, which was almost clouded with milky white mist. Compared to Naboo or Ragoon 6, Uresi certainly could not compete. But that did not matter. It was home.

But the peaceful and idyllic atmosphere was delusive. As soon as they reached their house, they heard loud shouts and cries from upstairs. Obi-Wan and Anakin gave a pained groan in unison.

"They're going to be the death of me, Obi-Wan, I swear it," Anakin said in an agonised voice. "Just why isn't Beru doing anything?"

When they entered the house, they had their answer: In a room to the left, Beru and her newfound love were snogging extensively.

"They don't even have the decency to close the door," Obi-Wan complained and waved his hand swiftly in order to close the door (in a way that would have been certainly classified as "disrespectful use of the Force"). Then he hurried to follow Anakin upstairs to the source of the noise. The twins were hitting, kicking and throwing things at each other.

"You take Leia, I take Luke," Anakin told Obi-Wan. In an odd way, it reminded Obi-Wan of the old days on battlefields, and their last minute plans. _I'm going low and left, you go high and attack from the right. _Now Obi-Wan grabbed Leia around the waist, Anakin seized Luke's arms, and they pulled the fighting twins away from each other.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Anakin scolded them.

"He hi-hi-hit me on the nose," Leia whined.

"She started it!" Luke retorted angrily. "She threw my starship on the floor. I'd just finished it and now it's brooooooken." He dissolved into tears too.

"Leia, why did you do it?" Obi-Wan asked exasperatedly.

"He hi-hi-hit me on the nose!!!"

"Luke, certainly you know you can't just hit your sister!" Anakin told him strictly.

"But she broke my starship!"

"But that's not a reason to hurt someone. It won't make your starship whole again. Revenge is not the way of the Jedi," Anakin tried to reason but he was unheard by his children.

"But she broke it! It took me so long to build it!"

"He started it! He hit me on my nose!"

"She hit me back twice as hard!"

"That's not true!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

Obi-Wan and Anakin looked at each other and rolled their eyes. So much about a nice, calm, peaceful and restful evening… But somehow they would be able to cope with this situation too. After all, when had their life ever been easy?

* * *

**THE END**

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